Weekend Update

"Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?"
--Carrie Snow

Friday I worked ALL day as usual, but mom & dad took the little munchkins out to my grandparents in western KS for me! NO KIDS woo hoo and all that! Got my sessy toes redone, and now the Korean women love me AGAIN! They were giving me that smiling through gritted teeth while they cussed me out thing at first and I smiled and said "toes please?" I said "everywhere I go men love my toes, thank you so much" and I was in like Flynn. Back to real smiles, GOOD lookin flowers, and not only did they charge me the rate for regular ped and I got all the extras of the spa ped, but I also didn't get charged for the sessy flowers! Man, I've got to get a life that that was about the highlight of the day.

Went to the boat and played a little Texas Hold-em. Flirted with a cutie next to me, remembered I wasn't picking up any more men at a gambling institution, let the fact that I'm a single mom and not interested in dating anyone from the poker room come up in conversation to scare him off...THEN learned he's a freaking ATTORNEY at a downtown KC lawfirm and apparently one of the partners as his jr. lawyer guy was out playing also....Damn. He was pretty too.... Did make about $300, big bucks for me, didn't get home till 4am.....I'm too old for that crap.

Sat & Sun--had a BLAST with the fam. My little girl Elizabeth was born 12 hrs after one of my cousins had a little girl named Elizabeth 7 years ago. They both have red hair, blue eyes and look almost like twins. Freaky. They got to play together and it was a crackup to see them running around and bugging their little brothers.

Caught up with my cousin Roger (very cute--trying to convince him to come to KC to go out w/ my friends to flirt w/him a little). We've decided we're tied on the worst dating stories.

My story--most of you already know, dating the "perfect" old guy, he went away when I wanted him to, didn't call every night, sent AMAZING flower arrangements, took me to the nicest restaurants & clubs, bought me jewelry, etc. a very good potential sugar daddy, until I answered the cell phone one night. The girl asked for me and I said, that's me, she said her name (same last name as the old guy) and I said, "what can I do for you" thinking it was his daughter, she said "STOP DATING MY HUSBAND." yup, that one sucked.

Roger's story--he was being set up with the "perfect girl for you" and started emailing back and forth.....only to realize later that they were actually 2nd cousins or something. The mutual friends they had all thought they were just perfect for each other and they were starting to get to know each other, when for some reason Roger's distinctive last name came up and she realized it sounded familiar. Turned out her grandpa and our grandpa were brothers. icky.

One of our cousins is a priest and had the best story of all. He was going through the meetings with the married couples right before they get married and he got a phone call from this lady about the couple, that they couldn't get married. Turned out they were BROTHER AND SISTER. The call was from their mom, who had given them both up for adoption and kept track of where they went in life when she realized they were about to GET MARRIED. I didn't ask if they were good catholics and didn't have sex yet or not, ICK...can you imagine????? I thought it was one of those urban legends, but apparently it was true.