Thursday, July 29, 2004

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Never get into fights with ugly people because they have nothing to lose."
Survived another workout today, I amazed myself at getting through all the leg-work without dying.  I have all these pretty little muscles and definitions on my shoulders and my arms, and you can see all my ribs.  I even have little lines in my upper abs, I look great, until you get to my belly button.  OMG my stupid little poochie-belly is so nasty.  I swear my hips, butt and thighs look even bigger next to my slimmed & sculpted upper bod.  GOD I've got stubborn fat.  It's now a battle between the fat on the legs and my willpower.  I know there's muscles in there somewhere, because they HURT, but it's like the muscles are growing and the fat's not getting any smaller.....I'm TIRED of being chubby!!!!!

THEN, an old guy (ok at least he was a buff old guy, but still) is hanging out while I'm sweating and gasping on the treadmill.  He's telling jokes, keeping me entertained, asking what kind of music I like, do I ever go out dancing....All right, I've decided lucifer gave me a freaky old-guy-mogo thing.  I can't even turn it off when I'm sweaty and wearing clothes that show all the fat!!!  Once this bod gets slimmed down, I swear I'm going to start playing volleyball and softball again and get myself around YOUNGER people.  I used to think I was exaggerating this wierd old-guy-mojo, but it's freaky.  There could be a ton of us out at a club, the old guys all gravitate to me.  NOT my friends, not the other little hotties out there, me.  Maybe my chubbiness makes me easier to approach?  who knows.  Maybe it's because I'm a fan of all the crooners, big band music, etc and it's like soaking out of my pores?  They can sense the fact that I should have been born years ago? 

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

"If you asked me what I came into the world to do, I'd tell you I came to live out loud."
--Emile Zola
End of my horoscope..."Try not to spend time with people who have a tendency to get on your nerves."  Are you kidding me?????  I'd better not leave the house.


Tuesday, July 27, 2004

After Lunch on Tuesday

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die while asleep, I pray
That God be a woman, or a guy who's gay.
For if God is truly as I've been taught,
an uptight old white man, I will be caught.
And tho' I'm a good mother and a kind friend,
My dating old guys will take me down in the end.
Down to Dante's Inferno, Nine levels of hell.
I took the quiz, didn't fare too well.
Scored high on two levels of the nine
Gonna hang with the lustful and gluttonous for all time.
But if God's a gay guy or a chic just like me,
There might still be hope, in a happy place I could be.
Floating above the clouds, shining down beams of joy
Instead of suffering the hurricane of unquenchable desire
with Cleopatra and Helen of Troy.
--prayer by TreasureGoddessChic
OK, I'm definitely cutting down on the flirting with old guys thing.  Takes me to icky places like lunch today with an old old-guy friend.  Mark told me I can ride in his & Russell's handbasket to hell, so at least I'll have company on the trip down.  While eating and deciding to mend my ways, I came up with this little poem....ok, realize I like OTHER people's quotes and words because I am not gifted in the writing department. 

Update on the biting/hitting incident.  Joey's friend Mya was trying to kiss him, he "wrestled her" to make her stop, she bit him, he "whomped" on her.  Apparently "whomp" is 4 yr old for hit/scratch.  He's still got little bruised teeth marks, so the little chica knows how to look out for herself pretty well.  I had the talk that "little boys can't go around whomping on girls" and felt like a sexist pig.  Oh well, he seemed to get the point.  I told him he probably shouldn't be whomping on anyone unless he's already told a teacher and the kid won't stop bothering him.  It's a thin line you walk when you try to keep your kid tough without making him a bully.  I feel like whomping on someone myself.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

"Don't get your knickers in a knot.  Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny."
--Kathryn Carpenter
Worked out yesterday, great workout except one thing...had to wear a black thong so my dress wouldn't have granny-panty-lines at work, and forgot to stick the normal cotton undies in the old workout bag.  Yup, stairmaster in a thong is not a good thing.  Enough said.

Monday, July 26, 2004

Monday, July 26, 2004

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop."
Man, I hate being poor. 

SO, got a call from my son's preschool camp counselor.  Joey hit a kid and then that kid bit him.  She can't legally give me the child's name, but as Joey's a major gossip, details should follow tonight.  No broken skin, just lots of tears from both parties.  I guess they both sat in timeout together (wouldn't that make them fight more??) and the world went on.  I can't believe my kid would hit anyone.  Not because I think he's an angel, but because my kids are wimps.  I'm trying to teach them to "tough up" (sounds less hick than the "cowboy up" I was using).  I have a feeling I may be at fault for the hitting thing, we'll see.  Joey tends to let kids push him around, take his toys, whatever.  He used to tear up, then he learned to walk away or tell the teacher.  I told him if  kid is constantly picking on you, or if he pushes you, push him back.  Oooppsss.  I left out those details when talking to his teacher.  We'll see.

The last "incident" we had was when Beth was playing soccer.  My daughter's more of a butterfly chaser than a soccer player, but she had fun.  She finally got it figured out that all the kids on the field chase the ball, so if she's a defender and stands on the OTHER side of the goal, that's probably where the ball will end up and she has a better chance of stopping a goal.  It started working and she blocked a few shots in a game against some steriod-pumping 1st grade chics that looked like little men.  One got tired of it and every time she went by shoved Beth into the ground.  Beth just took it with this look of shock.  I took her aside and told her the next time that girl comes and starts to push you, look around to make sure the officials aren't right there, and quietly shove HER into the ground.  Well, next time down the field, the girl was aiming her shoulder right at Beth, Beth takes an exaggerated look all around her, then FLOORS the girl.  No one seemed to notice, all was well, mom was proud....then Beth yells out to the sidelines, "HEY MOM, I PUSHED HER DOWN JUST LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO!" with a grin.  Did I mention that we play in the Leawood Soccer league?  Where all the moms drive Lexus's and NICE Suv's and wear matching sweater sets that cost 3 months of my pay???  I got a few looks.  OOOPPPSS..  oh well!

T-Ball for Joey tonight, hopefully no major violence will break out amongst the 4 year olds.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Sunday, July 25, 2004

"I drink to make other people more interesting."
--George Jean Nathan
Pretty decent weekend, I got my daughter back in one piece!  :)  She's still wide awake at 10:30pm, reading quietly in bed trying to get to sleep, but she's still wired.  Her dad let her go to bed and watch movies until she felt like falling asleep the past 5 weeks.  It sounds like fun, and I'm sure it helped him and his new wife sleep in, but it makes it tough to get back on schedule here in KC.  She really had a blast.  Joey was so freaking excited today, he was like a child on crack.  If there had been a doctor around, he would've given the child a ridlin shot or something.  They really played great together, it warmed the heart to see.

SO, uneventful little weekend, waiting for Jim & Kerri to get to town with Beth so Joey can go spend the night at the hotel.....we have about an hour or so left to wait, when Joey finds a button under the couch.  YUP, up his nose.  I swear, he's the smartest little boy I've met (I know I'm his mom, but the kid is bright) and he sticks a button UP HIS NOSE.  Then he says, "mom, that wasn't a very good idea.  I think it's going to get stuck in my brain."  So, about an hour and a half later, and I'm sure a TON of money in medical bills accrued, we're home with the button out of the nose.  Beth, another very bright child, was playing with a penny last year and ended up swallowing it and lodging it in the end of her esophogas.  The adventure went on all freaking night from 4:30pm until about 2:30am because of course it was a full moon, and every crazy thing that could possibly happen happened, so we had to wait on transport from St. Joseph's to Childrens Mercy and then there were two copters flying in and other major emergencies taking the surgeons' time.  That penny cost me $1100 in out-of-pocket medical bills.  I'm hoping the button will stay below about $500.  I think they get that part of "gee, where can I stick this..." mentality from their father.  Normally it's me thinking "how far can I  shove this up his butt...." life goes on.

Went out with my little asian group on Sat. night.  Ate like a pig at Huyen's house.  OMG I now am addicted to fried green tomatoes.  I've never had one in my life until the taste of chicago festival where I ate EVERYTHING they sold in over 100 booths.  It's so sweet that they adopted me into their group.  The best part is they can COOK and when we all get together, they tell me I can bring chips or cookies.  Good ol' white girl cooking skills are limited to picking something up from the local grocery.  We went out dancing at the Guac.  Not the almost-cool one on Holmes, no no no we went to the wrong side of the tracks Guac in Olathe.  Lordy Lordy Lordy, I was looking SKINNY last night.  I've never seen that many BIG girls wearing tiny tank tops and short skirts in one place before.  It wasn't a pretty sight.  MAN I'm telling you, it was like being the one Mary in a room of overweight Rhodas.  Rich is off to Mexico City with his new chica.  She was very sweet and put up with all his obnoxious friends and danced also.  It was a good time.

God, I hope that girl goes to sleep soon so I can get some rest!!


Friday, July 23, 2004

Friday night

I finally got through the jibjab Bush & Kerry site to see the cartoon.  OMG  I heard their servers are going nuts trying to support this.

Got my sessy toes done, little daisies on the big toes.  I think the little asian chicks were cussing me out and smiling at me while they were painting.  I was living another Seinfeld episode...I asked very nicely to have my little flowers done.  She forgot and told me "you sit there, you sit there NOW" and I pointed to my toes and said "flowers?"  "you want flowers, no?"  "yes"...then a whole lot of smiling with gritted teeth and a LOT of talking in chinese.  My flowers are not so stylish, but will do, good thing I tip well, or they'd give my ugly toes.


Friday, July 22, 2004

"I do not want people to be very agreeable; as it saves me the trouble of liking them very much."
--Jane Austen
Have you ever had a bad hair day so bad that your hair hurts????  Had to pick up an over-priced dusty KC Royals baseball hat at the QuickTrip to survive the day.  Scary.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

"I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long."
--Shelley Winters
Guess what???  I rode my bike without falling off yesterday!!!!  I was so proud of myself.  I swear to GOD I've always been a touch clumsy, but this was getting pathetic.  I have more bruises on me than I had when I fell off the cliff when hiking with my girl scout troop as a kid.  Still haven't gotten the seat lowered yet so I can actually touch the ground, that should help.

What else happened today, hmmm....OH yeah, the hateful one came out of her quiet, bitter little corner to try to wreak havoc on my daily life.  What makes some people so freaking evil?  You know the ones, they only smile this nasty little smile when someone gets hurt or humiliated...They end up as bitter, wrinkled-before-their-time witches all alone wondering why no one comes to visit...because you're a BITCH, that's why....  I guess the war of the basement is back on.  Round one went to the TreasureGoddess, round two is up for grabs.  The stupid comma episode was just the feint before she sent in the cavalry.  I'm wasting no more of my time dealing with her or her little petty problems.  You know, it's a good thing I'm not petty, or I would have commented on her wearing pantyhose (who wears pantyhose now-a-days?) OVER her little ankle bracelet....TACKY TACKY TACKY...yup, it's a good thing I'm not petty.  BRING IT ON...  The amazing thing is she can hold that much power as an hourly administrative assistant.  Everyone has always bowed to her because it's easier to keep the hateful one happy and give in.  The sad thing is she and the other grumpy one ran off a very nice new admin employee.  That is a bad karma area, you can physically feel the bad attitude.  I'm so glad I'm WAY WAY WAY in the back corner office.  Not only did this sweet, positive, smart lady call in sick today, she apparently told two of the other ladies that she was going on an interview.  I hope she gets the job, poor thing. 

This picture illustrates my theory on solving personality conflicts in the workplace.  This is probably why I'm not in charge. 

Had a major triumph on the treadmill tonight, my god, I might just get buff yet...  This sounds so sad when it's written out.  I was able to jog for 8 minutes in a row.  IN A ROW.  God, that's pathetic.  Two weeks ago, I couldn't make it 2 minutes without dying.  Amanda's training for a marathon, I'm training to hit 30 minutes.  baby steps.  The sad thing is with beer involved, I can dance all night long.  You know, they have laundromats that serve beer, maybe someone should break into the working out while getting buzzed genre.  I'd sign up.

I'm actually kind of excited about my workout tomorrow with Roosevelt.  Have you ever seen a man named Roosevelt (NOT counting pictures of old presidents) who was not a muscular vision???  He's very motivational.  The man did tick me off because he said something about eating a bunch of Krispy Kreme donuts before our workout.  I hate beautiful people who can eat anything they want...I used to be a person who lived on chocolate, beer and ketchup and never gained a pound.  Two children and a bunch of years later, that crap doesn't work.  I was also seriously impressed with myself because after surviving two weeks of dips (purely evil things) and other various wierd moves with weights, my arms don't wiggle.....WOO HOO.  Once those thunder thighs get under control, I'm goin' shopping.  OK, once I start selling crap on eBay and can afford it, I'm goin' shopping.


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

"I only like two kinds of men:  foreign and domestic."
--Mae West
That pretty much sums up my philosophy of life.  :)  I had to take a detour on my way for my morning diet coke fix to the local diner, as three police cars of Olathe's finest were dining there.  One was not-so-fine, but the other were eye candy....good start to the day.  You know, you always feel prettier when the only other women in the place are the dregs of society.  In comparison, I was HOT baby.  Nothing like a little flirting and a lotta caffiene to start the day.

OK, I must be getting healthier because the idea of this just made me feel sick.  Krispy Creme's newest invention is in the links section to the right.  It just makes me shudder to think...

Not much happened yesterday, got up, fed the kid, went to work, went home, fed the kid, put him to bed.  My brother and his wife came by and visited, that was nice.  Barb's got a nice new job making big bucks again and all is well with the world.  Now everyone I know makes more money than I do.... oh well.  They just got back from Honolulu where Mike got to go for work.  They're so dang cute, still holding hands and in love.  What a match.  Makes your heart feel good to see them. 

Talked with my daughter yesterday, she comes home in 3 days.  Joey's counting the days until big sister "Bethie" gets home.  I had all these grand plans of re-doing her room while she was gone, haven't even changed the sheets yet.  I better get cracking. 



Monday, July 19, 2004

Monday, July 19, 2004

"The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle, unless you die of something."
--Guindon Cartoon Caption
What a weekend.  I actually had a great Monday, mostly because I stayed home with Joey (my son).  He got up at 3am because his tummy hurt.  I've now crossed the line to becoming my mother because any time any part of our bodies hurt as kids, mom would put us on the pot.  Well, it didn't solve the problem.  He didn't have to go, I put him in bed with me, then about 30 min's later I hear this little voice say "I gotta barf".  MAN those words can make a mother spring into action.  I was like a superhero flying through the air carrying the child head-first aiming him at the toilet.  I must be good, as he started mid-flight and it all ended up in the toilet.  Thank god.  I can deal with most things that come out of small children from all their various body parts...but barf is not one of them.  They start gagging, I start gagging, it's not pretty.  Then as I clean, the smell and overall image of things makes me start again.  Anyway, the kid really felt pretty good for most of the day, I probably should have gone to work for the afternoon as mom offered to watch the little guy, but I had absolutely NO motivation to get in there.  I actually took a much-needed nap and snuggled with Joey while we watched Scooby Doo and the Monster of Mexico, Scooby Doo and the Loch Ness Monster over and over.  Nice monday, too bad the kid had to barf to get us there.
Thomas the Tank Engine came to Baldwin City, KS on Saturday and so did we.  Oh man, that was an event.  My kid was in heaven.  I was actually impressed as even though they charged $14 per person for a 25 minute ride on the "real Thomas".  AND the ride didn't actually go anywhere, just backwards and then forwards.  But pretty much everything else was free.  They had story telling, magicians, fire trucks, mazes made of hay bales, even a little trailer filled with coolers of water and little paper cups.  The one thing that was a little too real was this wierd homeless hobo guy complete with stick and bandana.  At first you could see parents bringing their kids up to talk to "Hobo Joe" until they realized he was a creepy guy.  The only thing he wanted was a train ticket (I don't think he realized it went back and forth and not to any destination), a ham sandwich and cookies, but only if they were chocolate chip.  He got on stage with the magician with his list of demands and the magician had the crowd help in a disappearing trick.  He had everyone wave their fingers and say "here comes the police" as they came to escort Hobo Joe to another part of the celebration.  There was this one mom sitting back near Joey and me having our picnic lunch.  She was chuckling as her kids started walking off with the guy as if "oh how cute, my little angels are going to play with the nice hobo..."  I really don't like sticking my nose in with parents involved as most people get NOT NICE once they have kids and you offer any opinions, but I was a little worried here.  I said, um did you know he's not part of the Thomas thing, he's just a homeless guy?  She kind of looked at me as if she was getting pissed, and then thought, hey, my kids are playing with a serial killer and made a run for them.  She still gave me a dirty look when she came back.  Oh well, my good deed for the day.  There were only two little vendors selling food, and I was still the Master of my Domain by walking RIGHT by the funnel cake stand....ummmmm...funnel cakes.....but I resisted.  MAN it's tough getting beautiful.....ok, not aiming for beautiful yet, just aiming for less chubby. 
I felt like I was on the Seinfeld issue where they were betting on being the Master of their Domains the other day.  Carol (the only person at work who doesn't seem to be in a parallel psychotic universe) and I were checking in on each other's willpower at avoiding the BIG-ASS donuts everyone keeps bringing in.  It was wierd, like "you still strong?"  "yup, you?" "yup".  Now every time I see the death-donuts or funnel cakes or anything else delicious that I can't have, I think "master of my domain..." it doesn't really help, but it makes me chuckle a sad little laugh as my mouth waters....I miss the old days of working at the bank in Lawrence.  Friday afternoons at about 3pm, the CEO and his brother would bring the coolers up from down in the mortgage dept and we'd get happy with beer, wine coolers and a blender pumping out margaritas.  I lived about 3 buildings down the street and would have a few escorts to help me wibble and wobble my way home so I wouldn't fall and sleep on the sidewalk....I think a few margaritas would definitely help our work environment.  Some of those people with hang-overs might be seriously dangerous.  I wouldn't want to arm "the hateful one" with any extra ammunition.  She was awfully cheerful Friday, I must have some kind of crap to deal with when I return to work tomorrow.  Last week, I kid you not, she had the controller (the poor man with the broken spirit) try to tell me that all my invoice backup pages needed to be redone as they were ALL set up with a comma between the month & year...."November, 2004" and that just was not right.  I actually laughed at the poor guy.  I said, I know you have better things to do with your time and you know I do as well.  I will work on them when and if I notice them from here out, but there is no way in heck I'm going back over my work to delete a COMMA, come on....she must be running out of ammunition to try to make my life hell, ah well, I'm sure she'll be back to form next week.
Survived a 10 mile bike ride around the trails of O.P. on Sunday.  I have some serious battle scars to prove it.  I was actually doing pretty well, only had to walk up one hill, was almost feeling cocky...then I tried to cross this little overpass-thing next to Metcalf Ave.  It's one of the skinniest yet on the trails.  I'm almost across when this overweight old guy that did not resemble Kenny Rogers in any fashion (so no redeeming qualities here) on ROLLER BLADES starts across.  I shout out, wait, hold on, I'm almost done....oh no, he says don't worry, there's plenty of room.  Did I say he was OVERWEIGHT????  also very wobbly.  Men over 30 should not be on rollerblades unless they are HOT and GAY, enough said.  YUP, you can imagine the fun, he wobbles his big self along, NO ROOM to pass, clips my wheel and I bash back and forth like a pingpong ball from the sharp metal fence to the cement barrier.  I learned that helmets work much better when they are buckled, good for me I buckled that day.  Also learned that you should probably pack some bandaids or gauze or such in the cute little seat pack thing I bought, not just lip gloss, keys and phone.  I ended up leaving a flap of elbow skin on the fence, probably a dent from my helmet on the cement barrier, a nice little trail of blood from the said elbow and knees along with two massive funky round bruises on the inside of my knees, not sure how I got those, guess it was from smacking the bike???  I should have left my foot up the guy's big old butt, but I just smiled as he skated by when he said "oops, I guess we didn't quite fit, huh???"  If I wasn't wrapped in metal and suffering a partial concussion and slow and rather chubby myself, I would have run at the guy.  NEXT time I'm taking him OUT.  No more nice chic.  

Friday, July 16, 2004

Friday, July 16, 2004

"Some days you just have to create your own sunshine."
--Sam Sundquist
Man, too much has happened in a week to update.  Short version...I have taken the first baby steps to becoming an in-shape, no-longer-lazy-butt-couch-potato person who is not allowed to wear shorts in public.  I am going to let the thin, buff, strong chic loose from her chubby-thighed and flabby-armed jail that is my body.  OK, well at least I paid TOO much money for a program I can NOT afford to force myself to get my butt moving.  I survived two workouts with a personal trainer named Roosevelt, a nubian GOD that is like a poster-child for why you should work out.  Next to him I really really did not feel like a goddess of anything.  But, I survived, and made it back on Wednesday.  Another workout survived, barely, measurements taken...each of my thighs was the same size as my waist measured in high school, it was not a proud moment.  Then, I'm taking a quick shower so I can run back to work and not gross everyone out because I think I sweated at least 3 pounds off in an hour.  When I get out there's no longer music playing, I think, man, it's quiet out there.....YUP, they locked me IN and turned on the alarm.  I'm saying, "hellllooooo....." just me & the machines and weights.  I thought about calling the police, warning them, (this is in Leawood where 5 cars respond with sirens screaming to ANYTHING called in), and setting off the alarm, but I can't figure out the stupid lock to get out.  I call work and they laughed at me.  That's reassuring.  SO, I was of course STARVING to death, looking out the window at an Italian restaurant's patio seating with food food food.....found an apple behind the counter, I'm sure it was one of the thin barbie doll receptionist's major meals of the day, tough.  They lock me in, I eat their food.  It figured I'd get locked in a HEALTHY place, no m&m's to be found. 
I've now signed away so much of my money that I have to eat sandwiches for the next 3 to 4 months.  I also have to increase cardio excercise on my own 3-5 days a week to see the results I want.  I won't put in print the horror that was my measurements and percents, except to say that for most I was about average for a 35 yr old woman.  The only really bad thing was my body fat %.  I'm in the lowest 30% of women my age, and the percent was 33%.  One third of my body is fat.   ONE THIRD of my body is FAT.  Man, that blew my mind.  So, I'm walking around with tree trunk legs the size of 2 small people with a body that's one third fat.  That helped me walk right past the reese's peanut butter cups in the candy dish this afternoon.  I'll just repeat that as a mantra....1/3 fat...1/3 fat...1/3 fat... hope that helps.  My starting little phrase going through my head for the first workout was "mini skirt, mini skirt, mini skirt"  Then I saw what horrible shape I was in, and also standing next to my trainer/God, I revised it to "any skirt, any skirt, any skirt".   I start up again on Monday.  Shee-ra here I goal is to wear one of my skirts hanging in the closet before it snows.  We'll I miss my pretty legs...........damn chocolate and lazy lifestyle!

Friday, July 09, 2004

Friday, July 9, 2004

"I need a Hero..."
--Holding Out For A Hero, sung by Frou Frou on Shrek 2

Oh the drama.....
I'm tired of the metrosexual men..... I've decided I'll date for fun, so I don't entirely lose my magnetic personality, but I'm holding out for my hero before I get into anything serious. My new theme song lyrics:

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where's the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and turn and dream of what I need

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life

Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet

I need a hero

You know, I'm not sure I like this new style of dating crap. This whole online/email/instant message crap. You don't get to know the real person. People are so much different in what they reveal through the security of a keyboard and screen versus actually spending time with someone and letting nature take its course. Every guy I meet now as soon as we start talking a little, they want to be im-ing me all the freaking time. I've got better things to do with my life. Even if I DID enjoy the little chat crap, what is with revealing all your fantasies, turn-on's and FREAKY fetishes in writing???? I must be old-fashioned. I'd rather find out what someone likes IN PERSON at the right time, what the hell. It just creeps me out. I miss the old know, picking up a guy in a bar, saying "I'm not usually a tramp...deciding if you WANT to be a tramp or not, flirting, smiling, shaking your bootie, whatever. I'm starting to sound like an old lady. OK, a slightly slutty old lady, but you get the drift.

My list for the "ideal man" is getting much longer and more defined. I haven't made one of those lists since I was 21. This one's a little more serious. Once I figure out how to add pages, I'll keep my list attached here to add things as I think of them. I just want the perfect combination of my friend Carol's hubby Steve, part of both my brothers' personalities, my cousin Roger's outlook on life, my cousin Don's sense of humor and the way he treasures his family, my Aunt Dot's significant other Bob's ability to lead his own damn life and still be a part of hers, supporting her when she needs or wants it and NOT being a major life-sucking force the rest of the time (no, I don't have issues here), my friend Russell's kind heart and strong will, my friend Mark's ability to fix almost anything and his slight addiction to Home Depot, of COURSE I want someone like my dad too (what little girl doesn't?), someone who is in decent shape and likes to do athletic things without going overboard (like the hottie's character in the movie Dodgeball), someone who can two-step and have fun dancing to the new trendy stuff too. I want a good-old country boy who also likes dressing nice and going out once in a while, but who is mostly happy hanging out at home watching tv or going for bike rides or playing softball. Sure, that should be easy to find.....till then, it's just play-time for the TreasureGoddess.

Thursday, July 08, 2004

Thursday, July 8, 2004

"But it was a necessary accessory..."

WOW, checking out the receipts, thinking, now how much can I sell on eBay?????? That's the worst part of the post-shopping-extravaganza-hangover. Our themes for the weekend in Chicago were "Moms gone wild" (my fave), white-girl-monkey-luck (long story) and "but it's a necessary accessory". Man, I can rationalize ANYTHING when it comes to shopping. People should hire me out for my services. I'll make you feel so good about spending money, but I'll be gone by the time the credit card bill comes in the mail!

Short version of the white-girl-monkey-luck: I think I forgot to write that I went to Chicago with 3 Asian friends. One is from China and the other two were from Viet Nam. I'm kind of tall for a white girl anyway, and then I wear heels, so I basically tower above them and they mall-walked like they were leaving me in the dust. It was quite humbling, actually. I met them through my friend Alison I went to Friends Univ. with and they very sweetly adopted me into their circle of friendship. OK, back to the monkey thing. Apparently, THIS is the year of the monkey also. I did not realize that. I did know that the monkey is very lucky (probably why I'm still alive after the stupid things I've done). We were eating dim sum (basically people walk around with carts full of chinese food and you grab things off the cart and everyone shares and it's quite a social bonding/eating fest. The food is NOT like our little American chinese food, but REAL stuff. I did pretty well. You also have to realize it's 10am and breakfast time. My system was not quite ready for the real stuff that early. My friends must have rubbed off on me because I was actually chowing down on egg rolls & sticky rice and pickled cucumbers when I'm normally throwing down donuts. The restaurant gave little cheap-o necklaces to the children that all had a monkey pendant with a red string. I SO wanted to have one, but didn't know if they got the necklaces from the restaurant or a store in Chinatown. I finally got the message across by pointing, making faces and almost grunting. My chinese language skills only include "hello" and "thank you". I found the manager, conveyed that I had 3 small children (so I lied, I wanted a necklace too) and he gave me some! I went back to the table all proud of my international communication abilities to find that Lili had already got necklaces for us all. oh well. An old lady told me I was very lucky and then we had all kinds of good luck that weekend. We would just barely miss the worst thunderstorms, hit the good deals in the stores, lots of little things that we decided were all due to the "white-girl-monkey-luck."

I've really got to learn to tell shorter stories.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

"Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher."
--Oprah Winfrey

SO, Chicago was too too too much fun. I can't even go into details. We walked all over that damn town. We used the CTC train a ton, but I swear we walked like 28 miles in 2 1/2 days. And we walked FAST. Those little girls' legs were at least 6-12" shorter than mine and they were flying through town. The sad thing also was that one was pregnant and STILL walked faster than me!

In a nutshell, we ATE ATE ATE ATE ATE and then ATE ATE ATE. We also shopped and thank God the shops closed at 6pm on us while we were (imagine this) EATING at a "real Chicago-style" pizza place on the 4th. I might have had to sell my blood if the stores were still open. MAN it's fun to spend money there. I got CUTE stuff, a few halter-style tank tops, TONS of makeup, face & nail shit (my true addiction) and crap from China-town. I got the BEST baseball hat from ESPN with sportscenter stuff on it that actually looks good on me. I've always tried to find hats that look good, but normally look like a trucker or a geek. This is my hat, baby. It was a good thing, as my idol Martha would say, due to our wake-up call at 5am for the flight out. I had some seriously scary hair going on, and the more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. Once the magical hat went on, my cute outfit worked. It was back to mojo-baby. I almost started spouting sports phrases from the old days when I was married to Jim and we had sports center on 12 times a day...but then I got over it. Plus, it was 5am and we had to go running through the city and the airport. I was also the only one without a cute little wheeled suitcase. I was lugging the packed-until-the-zipper-is-about-to-explode bag plus a tote and a handled shopping bag!!!

Back to work. :( I could SO be a stay-at-home mom again, but it just doesn't pay. I had an offer recently and could accept any time, but it comes with creepy-old-guy-sex, so it's out. MAN too bad I have a few morals left. OK, not morals exactly, more of a "don't want to set a bad example for the kids" combined with a low tolerance for creepy things.

Friday, July 02, 2004

Friday, July 2, 2004

"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she did it backwards and in high heels."
--Faith Whittlesey

It's FRIDAYYYYYYYYYY. No, I'm not excited at all. WOW this was the longest week. I have no children this weekend, and though I'm very excited about that, I was all teary-eyed driving away to work this morning with no one in the backseat.

Heading out to celebrate Susie's move to TX, then running to the mall to pick up a cute outfit for the trip, date with my Italian Stallion, home to pack (of COURSE I haven't planned ahead) sleep a few hours and then at 6am I'm on my way to the airport for Chicago!!! I'll post pic's when I return. Can't wait!

Off to cram about a week's worth of work into about 2 hours.

My positive motivational thought for the day:

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