Saturday, December 22, 2007

Sympathetic Knitting Pains and CHRISTMAS YARN SALE

It's a strange Christmas season this year for me. I'm not holiday knitting. Seriously. Ok, so I had to do ONE project, it was making me looney. I knit up an adorable shrug from Stephanie Japel's book, Fitted Knits for my cousin. She kept talking about how much she liked mine, so this summer I asked her do you like it like it? or do you like it like you WANT ONE like it? I made hers washable in some beautiful dream in color teal yarn from MisKnits. It took exactly two skeins to make one of the larger medium sizes. I love it even more than mine. It's hard for me to knit for others because I want it all! Ah well. I hope she likes it.

I keep waking up in the middle of the night with heart pounding, feeling like I've forgotten something important. I'll catch myself driving down the road and just SITTING at a red light without any yarn and needles in my hands. Don't freak people, I put down the knitting when I drive, during Christmas crunch time any few moments spent not knitting are just wasted time. Catching up on some reading during quality time on the john? That's a luxury not allowed during Christmas crunch time. Hell, sleeping is low on the priority list during the crazies.

I am absolutely a mess this year since I'm not making myself freak out with the deadlines and pressures and crippled hands. I feel like I'm missing something. Getting sleep, wrapping normal presents DAYS before Christmas? Who is this woman? I'm usually knitting and crafting right up until unwrapping begins. My family's Christmas is on the 30th and I keep catching myself thinking, hey, I could knit four more hats and two pair of socks by then, no problem. I have to walk away from the pattern books, back slowly away.

I finally figured I couldn't take it any longer. I cast on with some local Kansas Alpaca I picked up last spring and am working on a hat. The holiday non-startitis was KILLING me! I feel less lost this way. I'm not sure who the hat will be for. Probably me. Do you know I've not got a hat of my own yet? My pretty blue alpaca one I made has been claimed by my daughter Elizabeth who wears it to school almost daily. It shows off her blue eyes so well and makes my heart happy to see her wear it.

Jan, the owner of Knit Wit in Olathe, KS is having her day after Christmas sale on the 26th. It starts at 9:00am and as she puts it, "Every inch of yarn in the shop is 30% off." She's also got some seriously amazing closeouts that are 60% off as well. Boy, if it wasn't Christmas season, I'd not post this here. A little part of me thinks I should keep my big fat typing fingers quiet and save all that yarn for ME ME ME ME ME! But, since I can't buy it all, I'll share. Just don't get offended if I knock you on your butt trying to get to the sock yarn! She's also got massive amounts of cascade 220, which I plan on getting for a few more sweaters.

SO, what do you do when you're the only woman in a house full of boys and men (Elizabeth is in NM with her dad for Christmas)? What's that? What's the big deal? I started smelling a little bit of gas and walked down to see what was going on. They'd brought in the old go cart that Jeff's restoring with the kids. To CHANGE THE OIL and work on it. ON THE CARPET. IN THE HOUSE. In front of the large fireplace insert with a full fire going. IN THE HOUSE! I went down, stood there with I'm sure a puzzled WTF look on my face and Jeff said, "oh, honey. You're here. Good. We need to borrow one of your pans for the oil." nice. I find my life is less stressed all together when I just smile, nod and not try to even explain how freaking strange the idea of this is. See, it's COLD out in the garage. huh. ok. I just gave them a plastic tub, asked NOT to have it back and went back upstairs to my knitting. Welcome to my world.

Merry Christmas everyone! May all your projects be finished in time for you to get a few moments of sleep!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

I'm STILL tired

Whew, I could get really used to traveling on other peoples' money. Jeff ended up winning a big sales award, so we stayed at the Bellagio Casino & Hotel and living large. We got to charge everything (except gambling) to the room. OH the food I ate.....that second stomach I seem to have came in very handy. OOOoooooohh it was yummy. Since Jeff's not a fan of the sweets, I got all his fancy desserts too. He was very gentlemanly and didn't make any comments as I was inhaling both plates at the Eiffel Tower restaurant, I mean they were PRETTY and CHOCOLATE and unbelievably creamy. He did ask me on the 3rd day of 2nd helpings of all things chocolate if I was going to have to pay extra for an additional seat for the new addition to my back end I was working on, but after a dirty look and a smack, he was back to behaving himself. I did totally have to wear a girdle/gut&hip sucker-inner thing under the dresses and skirts I brought, but it's VEGAS and I wasn't paying! Come ON!

OK, besides the food, we had free use of the spa & salon. Oh my holy hell. We both got rubbed, steamed, oiled, soaked, filled with healthy cucumber waters and the works while in big fluffy robes. LOVING that! I also had Joe (or was it Bob?) and his THREE assistants do my hair after my toes and fingernails got did. Seriously, one assistant washed my hair. One brought me diet cokes, and the other one I think all she did was say "ooooooohhhhhhh, aaaaahhhhhhhh" and clap just like the 4th of July. I asked if he might want to do something different for our big fancy award dinner night. Maybe straighten it and make me look all sleek and sexy? OH no. He said, You're in Vegas girl. You need big sexy Vegas hair! Being a fan of the big hair, I said, ok, knock yourself out!

Well, after an $85 plus big tip paid by the company, I was presented to the mirror sporting technically big hair. There was much oooohhhhing and aaaaaahhhing and clapping by the three assistants. I thought I looked like someone famous, but couldn't place it. Feeling ready for anything, went up to the room. In the elevator, it came to me. The famous one I looked like? Peg Bundy. Minus the tight pants. Peg freaking Bundy. Then, in the room, it dawned on me. My hair was NO bigger than I normally wear it. Apparently I'm rocking the midwest with big ass Vegas hair on a daily basis. *sigh* Ah well. It was an experience being applauded for sitting there while people played with my hair.

You be the judge. Me on a normal day:

Me with Peg Bundy aka Vegas Hair:

I'm trying to scan the photo of the two of us all dolled up for our big night out on the town, but my scanner is being pissy. Maybe tomorrow. Since it was a special occasion, I used the $50 boob job. God Bless Victoria's Secret silicone inserts. What else? Oh we saw the Producers show with Tony Danza as the star, very good. We ate EVERYTHING in site including a full seven course french meal at the Eiffel Tower restaurant. We finally got craving normal food at one point, we walked up the strip a ways and ended up at a McDonalds.

No yarn shopping, but plenty of sock knitting. I ended up making two blue socks. From two different yarns. I've just realized I've ALWAYS made two socks for a pair in a row until now. I've never had the 2nd sock syndrome, unless you count my very first sock that turned out 4 sizes too big and I hated the yarn so I purposely never finished it. How weird is that? I'm a total start-a-holic having at least 4-10 projects going at a time, but always make one sock and then its mate right afterwards. I can start two or three socks but once the first gets cast off, the matching one is always next to finish. ANYWAY, I finished my first birthday yarn sock from blue smoooooshy and it's fabulous. Because I thought I'd better get mom's first pair of socks done before our family Christmas on the 28th, I started one for her out of some wollenmeise I'd picked up. It's fabulous. Unreal. It's sexy yarn. Seriously. I hope the woman likes them, because they're gonna be pretty damn hard to give away. The wollenmeise one is the tube only with these bright little teal bits in it. It's killing me because I have this pretty soft smoooooshy sock and I can't wear it yet.

OH, and I totally played Texas Hold-Em all night long until 5am and went back to the room with $200. Of course, if I'd have left about half an hour after I sat down, I'd have gone back to the room with $350, but I never said I was a smart woman. Me leaving Vegas with money? Who'd of ever thunk it?

I'm thinking I may have to go back to the good old days of big velcro rollers, shellacking the hair with hair spray and blow drying it to glue, ratting the crap out of the top of your head and then smoothing it all over with yet more hairspray. I just need a trio of applauding assistants and I'm there, baby.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Vegas Bound!

Sorry for the no blogging, I'm hitting the road. Ok, hitting the air. On our way to Las Vegas courtesy of Jeff winning a president's award in sales for his company. Can I get a woo hoo? Day of spa goodness for me, golfing for him, lots of free cocktails and dinners and shows for the both of us.

Taking my hiya-hiya metal needles on the plane. Wonder if they'll let me. I've got some little rosewood dpns stashed just in case they take my hiya's away from me.

Have a great week and talk with you soon!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Madam Inappropriate Strikes Again!

SO, just when you thought it was safe to bring a nun to the knitting guild meeting........

Ok, so I arrive LATE to the morning knitting guild meeting, just sit and start knitting away, mostly minding my own business. Two sweet little ladies are sitting to my left, two dear knitting friends are sitting to my right. All is right with the world. Joanna tells a story of an old boss who would get creative and avoid cursing at all costs. I told a story of a preacher's wife, who when on the phone talking to me, called her soon-to-be-son-in-law a "Richard Cranium." It took me a bout 5 minutes later in the conversation to get it, Richard Cranium! HAH! We all chuckled and the very sweet lady to the left of me put her hand on my arm and asked "what, dear? I didn't hear you." I said loudly, "she said RICHARD CRANIUM" and smiled. She thought a moment and said, "I'm afraid I don't get it either. Would you explain it?" At this moment I was puzzled by the looks of shock by both Joanna and Teri and the mortified look on the other lady sitting at the table. Joanna was making odd movements under the table (later I found out she was trying to kick me but I was sitting too far away). I said, "Richard is sometimes known as Dick and Cranium means head." She said, "I'm sorry, I still couldn't hear you." Joanna's just shaking her head now like people do when they see a horrible wreck on the side of the road. I say VERY loudly, "it means DICK HEAD." Now at this point, BOTH tables of ladies turn to stare at me. The lady to my left laughs and seems to get a kick out of it.

Teri said, "Christine, you missed the introductions, so you apparently didn't know that she's a nun." Joanna said, "Christine, why did you think everyone was calling her SISTER?" Nice. I missed that part coming in late. The fact that the lady sitting next to her called her sister at least 8 times since I'd sat down apparently didn't sink in. Although, at the point where I had to explain it that last time I thought to myself, "huh, they don't LOOK like sisters, ummmmmmm"...and proceeded to yell obsceneities in the poor woman's ear. I apologized and she just laughed.

Then it dawns on me, Oh sweet mother, I just yelled DICK HEAD in a nun's ear. I think I actually heard God's eyes rolling. Yeah, that's a good start to a day. Thank God nuns seem to like me. So far, all the nuns except one have had great senses of humor and forgiving natures. That one exception? It was a long time ago and a certain red-headed little girl had decided to buck the system with a titch of attitude back in the doily-on-the-head days. It wasn't pretty.

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