The worst blind date in the history of man

Dang blogger......I had a nice LONG post last night, of course did not think to save it somewhere else first, and blogger ATE it. Stinking blogger. Here's the 2nd time around.

First, I had a lovely evening with my old friend Bill. We ate Italian at a quaint little restaurant with the WORST bartender and WORST waitress ever until they got their tips after dinner and then we decided to get a bottle of wine.....then they were stinking all over us. NOTE to self.....when eating out somewhere nice, tip BEFORE the meal so you can get that service WHILE TRYING TO GET your food. Very nice evening, he's off to Hilton Head, SC now, so I have a nice place to go visit sometime.

OK, a few posts ago I recounted the 2nd worst blind date in the history of woman-hood and have had a few requests for the winner of the contest. I actually DID win a radio station contest and got a free dinner & movie for 2 as a result of telling the story a few years ago. Here it goes. If anyone can top me, I'd love to hear it. I do know many women have been raped or other horrible things happen on dates, but this is the worst of any non-criminal blind date I've ever heard about.

A long, long time ago when I was 20 yrs old, I was home from college for the summer and a girlfriend did the "oh, my boyfriend's cousin is in town and we can't go out tonight unless you go out with his cousin....." so I said I'd at least meet the guy. He was cute, seemed relatively intelligent and said he had an extra ticket to an event at Kemper Arena, so I said what the heck, ok.......famous last words, right?

So, he picks me up in an old restored blue mustang convertible and I'm thinking oh, this'll be fun......then we drive to his relative's house so I can MEET his parents. ON A BLIND DATE. Ok, I thought that was a bit wierd, but no biggie. Then when we leave, his dad and little 10 yr old brother come outside with us and everyone gets into this station wagon complete with the fake wood siding peeling off. I was told they had the other tickets, so we'll all go together. Again, a bit wierd, but I'm a trooper. We park about a mile or THREE from Kemper in the HOOD as daddy doesn't want to spring for the $5 for parking and won't take money from a lady. (see how long ago this was? parking now is at least $15 per event there) BEFORE we go any further, you need to realize this is the late 80's and it was a time of preppy Gap people and penny loafers and big hair.

It turns out not to be a concert, the "event" was Hulk Hogan had come to KC for a big wrestling match. This was BEFORE wrestling had become this strangely almost cool because it's so fake thing. NOPE, this was back when people truly believed everything that happened in that ring was REAL. We truck up to the tip top of the arena and sit amongst what I swear to God is the reunion from Deliverance. My date springs for ONE coke for the four of us and suddenly I wasn't too thirsty. These people went CRAZY. The scene is one little girl in penny loafers and a Gap button down and about 8,000 people in stained wife-beater's (nasty white tank tops that didn't cover their bellies), ripped jeans, no sleeves and that fun long skanky hair in the back with feathered sides (men and women both).... We sat next to this lovely lady in her 60's who had no lower front teeth. She was able to spit chaw through the hole and I figured I'd better hold my purse in my lap. Next to her was her 80-something yr old mom who kept screaming "rip his balls off Hulk" through the entire 3 hour event, even when only women were in the ring. She also swung her metal cane around in the air and beat it on the backs of the seats around us. I did see the famous Hulk and I think he won, can't really remember, but I also saw a bunch of midgits fight the largest woman I ever saw and she sat on a few of them at one point. SO, in a nutshell, I was surrounded by crazies who looked like there had been a bit too much playing in the same gene pool and this crazy old lady cracked me on the shin with her cane telling me to "watch my balls or they'll get ripped off too" while her daughter was spitting juices and trying to teach me how I could learn even though I was unlucky enough to still have all my teeth. It was a bit of a culture shock for this sheltered little Johnson County girl, but again, I come from tough stock so I just people watched, and dodged the spit and blood and all that. There were at least 4 serious fights in the stands and you had to watch out for people getting thrown through the air as well.

So, the long LONG night comes to a close and I sigh a little sigh of relief. But, wait, there's more......instead of walking with the thousands of people to our car we walk to the back of Kemper to stand in a line with about 15 other losers. There the three men I'm with (skinny 10 yr old kid, chubby HAIRY creepy dad, and my date who looked ok until he started dancing around) TAKE THEIR SHIRTS OFF and stand outside the back door for ANOTHER 2 FREAKING HOURS so they can flex while Hulk is escorted into his limo. Hulk was surrounded by about 10 body guards, so you couldn't actually see the guy anyway, buy my little date with a pimply chest & back was flexing next to his dad and brother and they were yelling "rrrrrr, arrrrgh, and Hey Hulkster" and other fun things.

After convincing the guy that I really wasn't up for another wild evening out, I politely thanked him for the evening, dodged a sloppy kiss that ended up with his tongue slurping the side of my face and didn't take any more phone calls......THIS EINSTEIN thinks, oh no, she must be being held captive against her will and came to rescue me from my home. I swear to GOD, the guy was nuts. He comes by our house in a quiet little suburban town where there's more police than actual residents and very little crime so they don't have a whole lot to do.....and the guy tries to break into what he thought was my bedroom window. It was not. The evening ended up with my father (who is the sweetest most peaceful man you'd ever meet in your life) holding a shot gun on the guy asking him to get the heck off our land (just like in the old western shows) (no the gun was not loaded) and about 4 cop cars pull up to escort the guy out of the city limits.

Is it any wonder it took me another 15 years to go on a blind date? And with the track record of 2 blind dates, 2 crazy psychopaths, I'm not thinking any more of these will be in the future.

I'm here, I'm here...

I'm here, but haven't blogged or read anyone's blogs lately and I'm jonsin' to see what's going on and who got what done for Xmas and who's still insanely thinking they can make deadlines like me!

I'm here, but I'm working my butt off and I'm knitting my fingers off. Our family Xmas celebration was moved to this Thursday eve (THREE FREAKING DAYS OFF) and I was overly generous thinking oh, I can just crank out a few more scarves later.....CRAP. THEN I forgot all the LYS's are CLOSED on Mondays, so I got NOTHING accomplished last night, no, that's not true. I completed a quite ugly fluffy scarf with a red/black bernat boa yarn that could have been pretty by itself but I thought I'd mix in my black squiggle just like I have been doing with the splash...but the splash and boa are not really interchangeable, so it's U.G.L.Y....(everybody now, U...G...L...Y...You ain't got no alibi.....) I know, flashbacks from marching band cheers in high school, didn't you know I was a geek back then? and now if I care to admit it.

MORE LATER including fabulous pics of the scarf women....My aunt, the one who retired so she can become "the Knitress" is knitting something for everyone she's related to...and we have a big-ass Catholic family, so the chick has her work cut out for her...anyway, she made me a gorgeous black silky soft warm scarf with a pretty silvery black boucle and a black eyelash that is DIVINE.... and I'm lovin it, especially as all the scarves I liked and wanted to keep for little ol me have been given in presents....actually those I had made for my brother's wife and the other bro's wife to be were given away.....and they want the Schaeffer yarn scarves, NOT the fast 4 hour ones, not really sure how much these little fingers can knit, but we'll see.

Work's its own little unusual place right now. It will sure be quiet next week with just the three of us with local boss man....oh, right, it WON'T be quiet as the other big bosses are coming back to "help out". I won't have the nice corner office to hide in any longer, so will be right out there in view, which always means more work...I should be glad I have a job, but man that unemployment was sounding good...state of KS even pays for college education up to $3000/year....hmmmmmm....Ah well, they won't let go of me until the whole shebbang is gone.

Merry Merry Knitmas & greetings from a psycho

HOLY CRAP there's not much time left before Christmas. Tonight I've got to sew in some ends on a butt-load of scarves & purses & crap. I should do it as soon as I'm done with a project, but of course, I put them all off for LATER. I've also got to sew the noro party purses together and get them felted. Hopefully they'll be dry by the time we have our little family Xmas a few days after the big day.

So, I get the mail yesterday and find all these lovely Christmas cards from family and friends (I almost never get cards out and figure I'd better at least send a few this year or no one will send me any more)...and get all warm & fuzzy feeling reading the dreaded family update letters and laughing at pictures and such, when I get to a card with no return address. Thinking, ah, it's probably from a lazy person like me, open it and it's from Lavere (yes that's actually his real name) some normal card with "love Lavere" written in it. Creepy. OK, the story behind this is he was the 2nd worst blind date EVER IN THE HISTORY OF BLIND DATES....the best friend of one of the bowling center managers I used to work with when I worked in the district office, said he had a nice friend, who just wanted an evening out with no strings attached and he thought we'd be "perfect" for each other. Apparently this manager guy thought I was a total psychotic schizophrenic sociopath as that's what this guy was. FREAKY. We went to lunch (I normally drive myself at dates or drive the guy too so I can leave if I want) and he met me at work and I can't even describe the hour. It was a strange lunch with conversations of about every off-limits topic, how girls that happen to get raped need to have the baby as it's cleansing for them, other strange strange things like that....and I was like looking at this guy with my mouth hanging open in shock the whole time. If I politely tried to change the subject, he'd come out with another one. I cut the time short, figured I'd better not leave the creep at the restaurant because his best friend was waiting to go play golf with him back at work, so drive him back and he won't get out of my car. I swear to God, he won't get out. I finally say, you know, I have to go back to work...inSIDE the building...OUT of the car...and he's still going on about how homeless people actually want to be cold and it is offensive to them to give money or clothing....and he's answering himself like I'm talking and I'm not saying anything. I finally take my purse out of the blazer and go inside to work and tell his freaky-ass best friend to get him the hell out of my car. Then he comes inside CRYING tears running down his face because he thought he may have offended me and he couldn't live with himself...(thinking GOOD, maybe a life without you in it would be safer) but I did not say anything but "oh, no it was lovely thanks". ICK. Time goes on and about every other month a teddy bear or card arrived at the office with no name attached or he'd stand at the other end of the building from our office just talking with his friend and looking like he's not aware of me and then pointing at me like you do in jr. high. After a few talks with his friend that I really REALLY don't want anything to do with him and his friend thinks he just doesn't do well in relationships because he "tries too hard". ICK. SO, I get the new job here in the dungeon and on my last day at the old job I get an envelope with a black thong with my name in beads up the back butt-floss string with no name. CAN WE ALL SAY ICK????? So, let's just say the card is NOT hanging on the door with all the rest lest the psychoticness is catching. My old boss from that job (yes the one I've gone out with a few times lately) told the manager early on to keep his friend away from me or he'd be arrested or physically hurt and that I was actually seeing someone so to give up. I'm not even worrying that the guy has my freaking address to send the card to as I got the same card last year. What the hell? HOW do I attract these people??????? I'm just really hoping not to end up a story on Law & Order some day.

Another post I'll tell you all the story of the WORST blind date ever from when I was 20. Needless to say, I go on no more blind dates. Would you????

Dang Blogger

I'm still here, just have to do some streamlining on my blogger stuff as I can't get much to show up yet.

Work is pretty interesting...Congrats to Miss Amanda for going out and getting her dream job on the Plaza in the Arts with PAID personal days each stinking month and sick days each stinking month and tons of vacation and they shut down between Christmas and New Years and she'll be surrounded by fabulously gay friends, fabulously rich people and other energetic musical types. YEAH FOR YOU! You can't tell I'm jealous can you? When I was a little girl I always said, "When I grow up, I want to work with natural gas and electricity contracts in a dungeon" Can't you just hear mini me? NO, really, I'm glad to have the job now and am lucky to able to work from home when I need to. It really has worked out great for the both of us.

I think I have knitters elbow.....OW OW OW OW OW.

Quick details of Sat. night. The backless bling bling is officially DEAD. I got the back done, seamed the sides and it was freaking HUGE. I was able to mess with the back to get it tight enough, but if I leaned over, all this extra fabric went flying out to show the stick-on boobs. NOPE. Went to Black & White and found the most amazing black top with sexy brooch and chain straps and a matching bracelet and sexy little black purse....Pics soon I promise!

Later,
C

So THAT's how they make ice cream

More fun

Well, another day down here. I was suffering a bit of the "survivor's guilt" but then realized it's just a job and life goes on. I have to admit I woke up with a case of the "something crawled up my butt and died" syndrome today from a bit of stress thinking about the next few months at work. But, life goes on. I was feeling the worst about the timing of the layoffs here, but the woman who's hit the hardest (who's husband is not working) actually pointed out that it probably saved her a ton. If she hadn't known until January, she would have over-spent on Christmas like we Americans always do, and then been devastated in January when she would have had to pay the bills. So, she's going to scale back the holidays to the things it should be, like joy, family, etc. and is actually working hard to make the transition easier for those of us left behind. I don't know if I'd be that helpful or not if it were me.

After re-knitting the frogged back of the backless bling bling, I realized the pattern was NOT wrong, I was merely RETARDED. SO, after knitting one half THREE times, I thought "huh, that's what you do" and got it done right. Finished at about 1am and need to put it together tonight and get the ribbing along the edges done before Sat. night. I sure hope this damn thing fits after all these "learning opportunities" aka frog times. I can now put stitches back on the needles with ease....frog frog frog it.

Said goodbye to my daughter this morning for her trip to New Mexico. We'll miss her, but she has an unbelievable time down there as her Grandma N. does Christmas like nobody's business. It's the most commercialized, crammed with WAY TOO MANY presents, and UNBELIEVABLE cookies and goodies and such, that it's incredible. I actually still miss Xmas at her house, just don't miss the being-married-to-her-son thing. Joey got some bday presents dropped off for him and doesn't really mind not going this year as I told him he can open one when we get home tonight. We're planning his bday party for Sunday at the same little gymnastics place where Beth had her party. I'm jumping on the giant trampoline as long as my head is not hurting from the big Xmas party Sat. night.

Wow, big work update

OK, so the dungeon's going to be a bit chillier for the next 2 weeks and a whole lot emptier in Jan 2005. Nutshell version, everyone's gone but me and two administrative assistants and the owners. WOW. Miss Amanda is still here with me, and another very sweet woman as well. The next two weeks are going to be horrible. People are mad, sad, crying, quiet, loud, and all the rest. They have to work through the 31st. One woman's husband isn't working right now, and I really REALLY feel bad for her. They will get small severance packages (I think 2 weeks pay) and KS pays well for unemployment, I think it's $350/week, but man, what a surprise right before Christmas.

The not-funny part (for some reason I thought it was funny anyway) is that I'm sitting across from the big three wearing a Sam Adams sweatshirt with a chocolate stain by the neck where my son apparently wiped his face on my during my hug this am, a pony tail, minimal makeup, tennies and faded jeans with cutoff edge that's all stringy.... The last 2 days I've dressed in business attire, with the clients coming and my court date, so today I pick the day to rebel. I'm not even wearing a BRA! THIS is the woman you're putting in charge of the accounting and basically the company? How scary is that? I'm sure they were thinking, nope, this one just can't do it, let's make the sr. analyst do it all..... Ah well. My friend is handling things pretty well, as we pretty much figured we'd all be gone in the new year anyway, but she's almost giddy.

I just had it pointed out to me that without our Controller here any longer, I'm the one that gets all the daily phone calls & stress from the big dogs. He also does ALL the backup and computer stuff.....crap.

The good thing is that I'll be set up to dial in from home to the system should Joey get sick or need to go to the hospital I'll be able to work remotely. That is pretty cool.

wow

Court, men and backless bling

Court went WELL for me. I could've really taken the guy for a lot more $$, but I just wanted it DONE and fair. SO, the ex never even talked with his attorney (or paid anything past the retainer I'm guessing) for the last 2 weeks. His lawyer was the one trying to get it settled and I gave him the ex's cell phone # as he didn't even have it. They went back & forth and I gave the guy credits for traveling expenses and food and hotel rooms, etc. but it worked out to not too much difference in the bottom dollar. I now get extra added to help cover the monthly out-of-pocket since Mr. Man decided he was living in poverty and just couldn't pay it but will hope to soon...... HAH. Well, if he goes over the yearly amount, I send a bill certified and if he doesn't pay, it goes to the courts and he either pays or goes to jail. It sounds terrible, but you have to realize he hasn't paid one penny for out of pocket medical expenses in over 4 years and I've been paying almost $3000/year for Joey's stuff. The best part of the day had to be when his lawyer finally got the ex on the cell phone and said, "I'm signing this now, ok? NO NO NO I'm signing this NOW OK?" then clicked the phone off. I didn't say a word. Everyone signed and it's all done and now I'm getting more than twice what I was before and am happy. :) I asked his laywer if he needed to let Mr. Man know to talk with his bancruptsy lawyer about the increase of our child support so it doesn't garnish his entire paycheck, and he said, "Darlin, it's not my problem any more, let him figure it out." Don't piss off your own laywer. Not a good idea! PLUS if the knucklehead had signed the stupid proposal I had been trying to get him to sign up until 2 days ago, it would have been $150 cheaper a month for him. OK, I admit it, I was doing a bit of evil Bwaaa Haaa Haaa laughing as I drove down the road, I couldn't help it. Score one for the good girls!

MEN....what can I say???? CRAP Well, the other night at the bowling alley I ran into Kenny Rogers aka stalker man, who wanted to give me a Xmas card with "a little something for the kids" and told him very nicely, no thank you, I think it best that you go have a nice Christmas holiday with your family and I really need to concentrate on my family without any outside MARRIED influences, but thank you for thinking of me and now stop thinking of me. ICK. I gave all the details of where this guy lives, his name, cell # to Russell in case I ever turn up missing. I don't feel threatened by him at all, but you gotta watch out with the creepies.

My old friend Bill (ok, the one who used to be my boss at the old job) is back in town for a week or so finishing up his training of the new Dist. Mgr, so I invited him to go with me to the big party Sat. night with my friends. I know I'm going to get teased as he's 11 yrs older than me, but I think it should be fun. I almost didn't ask him but figured, what the heck. I'm getting pissy in my old age. I'm not really worrying about what people think so much any more. We'll see.

Italian Stallion called to say howdy and see what the social life had planned. We may or may not hook up for a night of good food, good drinks at the Cigar Box (small club in downtown KC owned by one of his godfathers) and dancing.... Probably not until between Xmas and New Year's, but it could be fun.

Backless Bling Bling is causing a great deal of cussing from the south part of KC. Can you hear me from there? OH HOLY HELL. I was all excited, cranked out the back, it looked strange, but I thought, oh I'm sure it's fine....went to the LYS, and found a very nice & patient girl who taught me the mattress stitch, and how to pick up stitches, stitched it up and realized it was FUXXED UP and not fixable. With the help of 2 seasoned knitters, we got it back down to the original 10 rows of ribbing and I'm adapting the pattern as I go. YUP, it scares me too. I now have to redo the back, get the dang thing together and then pick up a million stitches and do some ribbing all around. I am wearing this dang thing if I have to duck tape it to my body. Hey, duck tape is silver too, right? CRAP! That's what I'll be doing all night tonight & Friday night and Sat day. Or, I'll cave and go to old navy and buy something flimsy and flirty, but I WANNA WEAR MY BLING BLING DAMMIT.

Big bosses are here in KC a few days early, woo hoo. They're in the conference room conferencing. I'd better get back to cranking out the work.

Send me fast knitting thoughts, maybe it'll help!

A positive creative quote for the day

"To be surrounded by beautiful things has much influence upon the human creature; to make beautiful things has more."
---Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to court we go

Well, I plan on getting the last few rows of the backless bling bling done as I wait outside the courtroom for my child support hearing. Can't freaking wait. Nutshell story, "It's so hard supporting two families"....Zero $$ for his share of 50% of out-of-pocket medical expenses for the last 4 years which are more than $180/month for medicine copays plus any dr. visit copays & 20% of bills....Child support still based on zero child care expenses (now I'm paying for 2 kids' child care) and incomes of both are raised. I turned mine in and we got his bancruptsy papers to use as his proof of increased income.....UGH. I tried to settle over and over, but he figures he'll just tell the judge how hard it is and is pleading "poverty"....(as he's driving their new minivan with the doors that open and engine starts by remote into their new house they had built in the nicest suburb of western Albuquerque) I swear to God, he's pleading poverty. I get $374/month for TWO kids, one of whom is chronically ill and I pay more than that for ONE of the kid's childcare monthly. I make LESS than him and pay ALL the out of pocket fees and ALL the child care and HE's living in poverty?????? Get over yourself. OK, sorry for the venting, but it had to come out or I was going to get a bit bitter. Now I'm just like "BRING IT ON BABY" and "have a nice day". *smiling sweetly*

Back to knitting, I'm cranking out that damn backless tank, but am REALLY pushing it to be able to wear it Sat night....3 FREAKING DAYS AWAY....nope, not stressed, especially as I don't exactly know if it will fit or stay on or show too much skin, or if my back will look chubby or slender, and AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH. It's getting made anyway and I might be wearing some ugly-ass thing instead, we'll see. I've got about 6 little rows left on the back left side, and need to stitch the side seams and then learn to pick up stitches and knit about an inch of ribbing all around so it won't go flopping off and show more skin than anyone wants to see, it may happen yet.

Trying to behave myself today, and present the nice little single mom image and not the chic I really feel like today, shown below:

Backless Bling Bling half-way done!

WOO HOO, I've got the front done on the backless tank I want to wear Sat. night out to the big Xmas party with my friends. I've got the bottom back ribbing almost done, and now have to figure out how to pick up stitches and get the thing done and see if it is decent to wear or not. I am LOVING the lion brand Glitterspun yarn! It's easier to work with than the more expensive crap I swatched in the LYS. I really REALLY want this thing to work. I think it may actually fit, I keep holding up the pieces and it seems to work so far, just have to add the black ribbing all around the edges and bottom!! I still have to pick up some beads for the little string across the lower back too, but I want to make sure the dang thing fits first.

Kids & I had a pretty good weekend, another birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese (aka Mother's Migraine) WOW that place is LOUD. I'm scrounging around to find a place for Joey's bday party and REALLY hoping it won't have to be there, but we may be on our way......it's like Vegas for kids. The noises of the ding ding ding ding, the funky music in the background, no clocks, no windows, set up in a maze so you have to work to find the door, tokens you cram in the slot over and over, kids hopped up on free refills of pop, yup, get them addicted young. I actually overheard a kid telling his mom "just a few more dollars, mom, I almost hit the jackpot...it's ready for me to hit the jackpot..." What's that 800 gambling line again????? I have to admit I did my share of skee-ball, shot a few dinosaurs, and played some air hockey too.

I was doing the guilty-feeling-single-mom thing and VOLUNTEERED to be cookie mom for my daughter's brownie troop. What kind of crack was I smoking?????? I must have been thinking, Oh, I was a girl scout forever, how hard could it be????? OH HOLY HELL no more cookie mom......this branch is like a bunch of nazi's. I should have known better as we pissed off the 5th grade moms that we went camping with when we let our girls run around playing follow the leader and sing songs that were not officially girl scout material at the exact scheduled time. They were freaky and I laughed it off.....NOPE, they're all nazi's here in Johnson County. If I can get the freaking few parents left to turn in their orders I should have this monkey off my back..... I do LOVE the moms in my daughter's group as we're all pretty laid back and as long as the girls have fun, do some community service and learn a few things, we're happy.

One comment on Miss Hateful. I know I've been trying to be "above" all the crap, but I've just got to say something. Our delicate balance of craziness down in the dungeon is seriously out of whack today. One of the happy people came back for a week, we LOVE her, YEAH. But, Miss Hateful is wearing a pretty little sweater in baby pastels of blue & pink. Nope. I'm sorry. That much hate cannot wear baby blue & pink. It just freaks me out. It's like I'm getting death looks from the rugrats.

The newest Hallmark Holiday Special....

Aint no Christmas cause Momma's a yarn junkie.....coming soon on Hallmark....

Hoping to avoid that becoming our family holiday! For those of you without LYS's near by, try JoAnn etc. craft stores! There's all this new funky yarns there. Some are the bernat brand, some Lion Brand, but there's a bunch of JoAnn Exclusive stuff. Some looks pretty close to the squiggle and could be combined with the bernat boa for a quick scarf like the 4 hour scarves I've been making. I got 2 skeins of the boa in a red & black combo thing and am going to try it out to see how it looks. Also found some great Lion Brand Glitterspun and it's working up better than the yarn I got at Knit Wits on sale, so I'm going to try to crank out the backless tank and see.....the gauge is close, but I have yet to knit something that actually fits me, so I'll either have the sexiest thing on earth to wear, or I'll be stressing....AND the party's in ONE WEEK and I've never picked up stitches before, but I know where to find the ladies who can teach me......should be interesting.

Trapped deep inside this eddie bauer jeans & sweatshirt wearing mom lurks the soul of a party girl.......I really want to make & wear this tank....party party party.

NOT partying tonight, but am getting out of the house for a bit. My cousin's coming over to watch the kiddos and I'm bringing my bling bling tank to Mark & Russell's where Russell's fighting a deadline of restringing an old barbie head. (no that's really not as bad as it sounds, he is a barbie-a-holic and also has the talent of re-poking through the hair and fixing it up on old bald barbie heads.) Apparently there's a lot of money in old barbie doll heads, so iffn you find some at a garage sale, buy them and sell them on eBay! SO, our big evening is going to be eating, working on our projects and watching dvds. Can't wait!

Here's bling bling:

More things I've learned

OK, more tidbits, then back to work.

#1...The hand gesture for Fxxx You in Mandarin Sign Language (chinese) is saving my life. In my whole life I think I've flipped off 2 people only, but lately here in the dungeon, Miss Hateful has been exceptionally fun to be around and I've felt the urge of my middle finger wanting to spring up and shoot into the air on a regular basis. I actually had to hold my hands together when I turned the corner down here the other day. Rich's girlfriend teaches sign language at JCCC and is also learning to sign in other languages, so at Alison's going away party, I learned this little fun gem. Now, instead of screaming inside when faced with the witch, I just do my little hand thing and feel all better inside. I know, it's just Christmas-y down here.

#2...I can not be trusted inside a yarn store. NO. I can't even go inside one until 2005. period. I just needed 2 balls of black squiggle to complete 2 more scarves, and I ended up with this great SALE yarn that would be perfect for the sexy backless tank that I can in NO way finish by the 18th. That's ONE WEEK away. It has a million stitches, and the entire edging is done by picking up stitches, which I have NOT learned yet....but OH YEAH, I get the yarn ANYWAY just in case.... Knitted myself almost crippled last night and only ended up with about 3" from the bottom up done. Did I tell you I ALREADY found yarn that I thought would work for the sweater (since no one has any of the Diva yarn used on the original pattern any more?) BUT it just didn't quite seem to work, so I think I may be able to use it on the sexy tank I tried to start about 3 months ago.....MORE yarn stuck in the stash.

#3...The same muscles that are used to hold smaller needles are the same ones you need to use to hold a tweezers to pluck your eyebrows. After knitting myself into this old lady crippled bird claw hand thing, I am washing my face before bed and think, WOW, it's been a long time since I looked at my eyebrows and they were scary. Picked up the tweezermans and promptly dropped them into the sink each time I tried to pluck. So, now I'm crippled and hairy. SEXY. Just what you need to go with a sexy tank top....

#4...Dropping to 32-35 hours a week has been the most uplifting thing I've ever done in my life. I didn't realize what the lack of fresh air and NO windows and NO sunshine and DISMAL people were all doing to me. I breathe easier each morning knowing I get to leave earlier at the end of the day and it's not so scary descending into the bowels of Olathe's industrial district.

#5...I'm getting this from Santa Claus this year. Santa also told me I'm not getting any more presents at all, so be thankful...Santa was convinced that I needed to test it out in case we need to use the 15-day return period, and I'm not giving it back. He can wrap the empty box. I'm using it for my goodies and my kiddos and holdiays and crazy people I see on the street and anything else I want....pictures coming soon, look out! I LOVE this little thing....fits in my pocket, has a GREAT big screen on its back and takes fabulous pics! WOO HOO!

Wise things I've learned

#1...children that you have to drag out of bed at 6:45am M-F will be awake and bouncing off the ceiling at 6:00am on Sat. and Sunday mornings.

#2...I cannot eat popcorn without eating chocolate afterwards. A lot of chocolate, not just a bite to cancel the saltyness.

#3...High heeled wooden clogs are NOT the cure for slight shin splints. They actually encourage more pain. Don't do it.

#4...I cannot get anything done early in a well planned manner. It has to be last minute, stressful running around "the sky if falling" kind of things to get my creativity to kick in. If I do actually get something done early, it will suck.

#5...Men over 40 should NOT wear roller skates in public with little shorts. period. And if they do, they should NOT knock me off my bike on the bike trails without serious repercussions. Flamboyantly gay men in their 30's to early 40's may be allowed, but they'd better be damn pretty. I am still pissed about the chubby idiot who took me out...(story below)

#6...Women over 40 should NOT wear pigtails on the sides of their heads. It is not cute, it is actually quite frightening. A classic little low pony-tail is acceptable.

#8...A 70 yr old woman can still kick the crap out of a 36 yr old bowling goddess-to-be. I shot 650 (averaged 216 over 3 games) in the ladies' scratch league Monday night and got my butt handed to me by a lady in her 70's. As I moaned about us losing points to these wonderful yet OLDER than us ladies, another one came up to tell me she just turned 80 (she shot 680) and did I feel any better? NOPE! I did appreciate her spunk, though, and told her I'd like to be able to whoop up on younger ladies when I'm her age. Actually, I'd like to whoop up on them NOW.

#9...When you start cranking out scarves, scarves, scarves, it's easy to lose track. I've now got enough to give and then some...and I want to make more, it's like a disease....stop me....please....it's too late to sell them, so if I can resist, I can be really ready for a bazaar or something next year, but I'm afraid I want to wear them ALL myself....so I'm a bit selfish & spoiled, so what?

For those of you newer readers, here's the bike vs. roller-blading old guy story from July 2004:

Survived a 10 mile bike ride around the trails of O.P. on Sunday. I have some serious battle scars to prove it. I was actually doing pretty well, only had to walk up one hill, was almost feeling cocky...then I tried to cross this little overpass-thing next to Metcalf Ave. It's one of the skinniest yet on the trails. I'm almost across when this overweight old guy that did not resemble Kenny Rogers in any fashion (so no redeeming qualities here) on ROLLER BLADES starts across. I shout out, wait, hold on, I'm almost done....oh no, he says don't worry, there's plenty of room. Did I say he was OVERWEIGHT???? also very wobbly. Men over 30 should not be on rollerblades unless they are HOT and GAY, enough said. YUP, you can imagine the fun, he wobbles his big self along, NO ROOM to pass, clips my wheel and I bash back and forth like a pingpong ball from the sharp metal fence to the cement barrier. I learned that helmets work much better when they are buckled, good for me I buckled that day. Also learned that you should probably pack some bandaids or gauze or such in the cute little seat pack thing I bought, not just lip gloss, keys and phone. I ended up leaving a flap of elbow skin on the fence, probably a dent from my helmet on the cement barrier, a nice little trail of blood from the said elbow and knees along with two massive funky round bruises on the inside of my knees, not sure how I got those, guess it was from smacking the bike??? I should have left my foot up the guy's big old butt, but I just smiled as he skated by when he said "oops, I guess we didn't quite fit, huh???" If I wasn't wrapped in metal and suffering a partial concussion and slow and rather chubby myself, I would have run at the guy. NEXT time I'm taking him OUT. No more nice chic.

Signs that winter's here

#1...Children are behaving because "Santa knows when you've been good or bad."

#2...Christmas lights are twinkling on homes throughout the city.

#3...The smell of wood fireplaces burning on a cold evening.

#4...Knitters are cranking out scarves, scarves, scarves and hats, hats, hats frantically counting down the days until Christmas.

#5...EVERYONE EVERYWHERE is playing Christmas carols.

#6...My white trash Wal-Mart denim coat with the VERY faux fur collar & cuffs comes out of the closet. Yup, I'm stylin, but I'm warm. The faux fur is starting to resemble a white dog that badly needs a wash and is looking kind of scraggly and dirty off-white...it is clean, but that's about as good as it gets.

Knitting update is pretty boring....scarves, scarves, scarves....and a few more scarves. I'll add a pic soon. I was not even wanting to turn on my computer this weekend. I'm going to have a hard time giving away the newest Schaeffer bumpy scarf I made as it's DIVINE....we'll see, it might have to be a present for myself....along with the other butt-load of presents of knitted projects in progress...

Life update--> Yesterday was my first "part-time" day! I have to tell you, there was nothing like it. I'm working from 8-2:45 M-F and a few hours on Sat. to get to about 35 hours. I normally leave work at 5:01, drive across KC, picking up 2 kids from 2 different schools and make it home at almost 6:00pm when it's dark, do Joey's "shaking" (his Vest airway treatment), cook fast, eat fast, homework, bath, bed, collapse on couch to knit & eat until bed around midnight and get up at 6:00am to do it all over again... NOW yesterday was beautiful. I calmly drove across the city at 2:45pm with NO traffic whatsoever, got to Beth's school with about 10 min's to spare and read a magazine, went in to the school and looked at all the new artwork on the bulletin boards, got my daughter, got my son picked up, toodled on home. We ate an actual meal of cooked food at a TABLE, kids got along and didn't fuss at each other, we got homework done, and they worked on their little cardboard coloring/book house thing I bought at Wal-Mart for $10, Beth made a finger-knit string to wear in her hair to school, I went out to bowl with my old ladies and everyone was sunshine & roses. LOVING it! It was such a nice change of pace, it's amazing what a few hours can do!

Gotta work a bit harder here at work, though to make up for less time on the job, so back to it.

Vibrator Cosy from Gilneas...LOVE IT!

OH, I laughed on this one...Gilneas Knits. I added her to my list of knit blogs to read. She's got some cute original patterns too! NOW my girlfriends are getting these cute little bags that could be a cute bar bag, but are actually felted Vibrator Cosies! I immediately thought of a certain girlfriend who had a story about her suitcase being left open on the bed at her mother-in-law's house and ..... yup, out came the vibrator to the family in the hands of a small child who thought it was a "fun toy"." Well, the child was right, but looking back, if she had a cute little cozy to keep your little unmentionables out of sight, the whole scene could have been avoided....HAH!

Definitely for the girl who has everything...

I'm also making her hat with the top open for your pony-tail. I think I'll adapt it a bit, we'll see. It'll have to wait as now I'm a scarf-making FOOL. Last night I finished Mom's scarf and a black & white squiggle & black splash scarf....LOVING the 2 1/2 hour pattern (still takes me about 4 hours, but still love it!) These scarves turn out soft, fluffy, LONG and fabulous! Too bad I waited so freaking late to get started on Xmas stuff or I could have been selling the stuff! Maybe next year! Took pics, but didn't get them uploaded yet, I'll be working on the old blog this weekend and promise to post then.

Phoebe hat that only uses one skein of Noro Kureyon!!! LOVE this girl's stuff--

Our little doggie has sure melted right in with the family. It's like Miles has always been here. He's so gentle with the kids and it's nice company to have the little guy curled up on the floor next to my feet & knitting basket!

Wanna see what my goal is for the big "Annual Asian Refugee Christmas Party" aka the night this tall white girl goes out with my group of friends and eats and drinks and dances till dawn (only once a year, don't worry!) Daring Diva Halter I've got to not only get the thing knit, but I've got to do some serious push-ups and arm work to get away with this one....but it COULD happen, we'll see.....This is one of the reason I got the stick-on boobies from hsn.com!



Marnie MacLean's Free Knitting Patterns these are STYLISH and cute!

Moth & Silverfish proofing stash & sweaters

BEST place on the web for knitting info from other knitters!!!!
Knitters Review
The forums are amazing and there's just good stuff there!

OK, my post on knitters review gave some good tips. It could have been a stinking SILVERFISH bug. ick. Apparently they are attracted to papers, books and EAT WOOL too. A few other readers had silverfish eat holes in wool garmets that were in bags on the floor... (my sweater was in a tote bag on the floor next to the boxes of paper crap I have to get through, so it could well have been)

At this point, I don't care what disgusting thing it was, I keep a clean house and it creeps me out and it PISSES ME OFF....so

Tips for avoiding this mess from knitters the world over...

**Cedar chips & dried Lavender sachets (but make sure they don't touch yarn or clothing directly or it can stain.

**Yardley's English Lavender Soap bars put in with wool yarns & garmets (I like this one as it's EASY and smells good)

**strong smelling dryer sheets (again not touching garmets or yarn)

**Eucalan Woolwash or other wool washes sold at your LYS, supposed to leave a hint of eucalyptus oil that repels moths.

My favorite tip at avoiding silverfish was to move to Minnesota as that's too far north for them apparently. I'm sure moths are up there and the size of their mosquitos frighten me a bit...

Feeling better now, listening to 99 Red Balloons on live365.com and be-bopping to my good upbeat 80's....so now the tunes match my fashion sense....

Moth War Update

The battle is on. A moth attacked my Ann Taylor cashmere sweater (got on SALE this summer for $20 instead of $90!!!!!! CRAP)....the little critters get what they deserve. Just call me "W", I'm going to blow them off the map....or out of the closet...or at least out of my stash.

All yarn is now in the deep freeze, keeping company with half a cow. I'm hoping the little moths to be are not like bees and you can freeze them, then come back to life once they warm up. We'll see..... *sob* my poor yarn...

All wool sweaters are on their way to the laundromat where my friend's wife works...going to work the sympathy thing and beg for extra coupons to afford it. THEN I hear that dry cleaning may or may not kill moth babies....CRAP

Of course this has to happen in the closet that is CRAMMED to burst with CRAP...old clothes...current clothes, art projects of the kids, boxes of clutter that I couldn't stand looking at any longer, so stuck them there to "get to later." Guess it's later now. Dammit.

BUT, on a good note, mom saw the scarf I was working on and kind of sighed and petted it...I said, mom, is this something you would wear? and she said yes, but you keep knitting for your presents...and I said, we picked this out for YOU, just be surprised for the kids, ok? They helped pick out the yarn and I tell you it looks GOOD! I'll add a pic tonight. I gave up last night at 11:30pm to get to bed. It's only got a few more rows left then bind off and handed to kiddos for their unique brand of gift wrapping. We go through more tape in our home than what is used my half the KC metro area.

Work update...still no word on my email saying I need to reduce hours starting next week. Not really surprised, it's about what I expected, so I am just going to do it. If they don't like it I imagine I'll hear sometime. People have been in this frenzied Christmas/Psycho/Super-bitchy mood and I'm staying the heck out of the way. Everybody sing now..."It's beginning to look a lot like BITCHmas...Everywhere you go...." wooh. Amanda, stay strong up there! I'm glad new girl's nice! Maybe it will tip the evil attitude balance to normal range???

2 1/2 hour scarf my butt...

So, either I'm the world's slowest knitter, or I'm retarded....or both. Worked about 2 1/2 hours last night on a new scarf for my mom for xmas out of splash and another yarn (that I swear is a cousin to the Satan's Knots I used on the boob tube) for about 2 1/2 hours while watching NYPD Blue and the Daily Show and Seinfeld and Will & Grace (love all of those) and I've got about 4 feet done. I hope to finish tonight. It's a bit flashier than I think my mom would normally pick out for herself, but it's mostly blues & navy and soft and should be nice...we'll see. I'll add pics later.

I'm chopping the edge of said boob tube so I can get the dang thing ON and still move my arms. It doesn't unravel, so I'm thinking I'm wearing it as is....if I somehow end up being able to frog it, I'm going to try to re-bind off a TON looser.

My big heart-attack this am????? Got the bag of sweaters & shirts to take to the dry cleaners out from the bottom of the same closet that has most of my stash of yarns.....and there's a perfect little MOTH HOLE in the front of my cashmere sweater from Ann Taylors.....FREAKING OUT NOW....not ONLY is my fave sweater EVER ruined, but there may be an infestation of little moth larvae critters EATING MY YARN AS I TYPE.... I didn't know WHAT to do....do I move the yarn and infect other yarn??? is it infected??? can I microwave it to kill anything that may be eating in there????? *SCREAM* *STOMP* *CUSS* etc..... I put a help please scream on the knitters forum also, but if anyone has any ideas of what to do, I'd love to hear it!!!

CRAP

MMMmmmmmm fajitas!

Heaven, thy name is grilled steak stufft burrito from Taco Bell....mmmmmmmm

Ran & got the needles, and only ONE extra skein of splash furry yarn to crank out another quick scarf xmas present. HEY, that was pretty good for me.

Sent an email to the big bosses stating I have to go down to 32 hours/week....haven't heard back anything. I think their idea of "we'll work with you and pay you on an hourly basis" meant if I hit 39 hrs one week of the month, not 32 hrs each week, but we'll see. Kids just are in school & aftercare too freaking long and it's wearing out Joey and stressing out Beth. Some parts of single-momma-dom do suck, but there's a lot of highlights.

Please be nice Mr. Bush

OK, Mr. Bush, enjoy your trip to Canada. Please, please, please, PLEASE BE NICE. Do not piss off one of the few countries that don't want to blow us up. PLEASE. We like Canada. Canada tolerates us. Good enough.

Martha's coming back to TV! Woo hoo! OK, the bit about a survivor-style/apprentice thing scares me a bit, but I miss my MSL daily fix!
Martha Stewart Eyeing Return to TV

Knitting, couldn't get anything done last night as I finished the nanowrimo baby. woo hoo.

Need to get some BIG double-pointed needles for the bernat boa I picked up yesterday. I may be running to Knit Wits for lunch today, but I'm also STARVING TO DEATH...so I'd have to do it FAST. Good thing I'm about broke and my little pennies & nickels won't buy any more yarn....

I did start another Schaeffer yarn scarf for another Xmas present, but those take a LONG time, and I want to be cranking out the little novelty yarn one-skein one-night puppies....

a little dungeon ranting

If I don't rant a bit, I might just explode, which BTW would NOT be a pretty sight what with the tummy troubles combined with the crap I've been inhaling lately.

Dungeon-bathroom update...I gave up on trying to get Miss Hateful who gets PAID for cleaning the bathroom to actually clean something...the mold, the stains, the ick, I just don't look and wash my hands VERY well...even though we've all been sick, hmmmmm I wonder wonder wonder why....OK, back to the update: My daughter came to work with me Friday and the first time we went in for a break, she said, "Mom, what's all the green stuff on the floor around the toilet?" OMG I don't keep the world's cleanest home by ANY means, and have been known to lightly swipe the bathroom with a baby wipe and call it good, but CRIPES, for a 8 year old girl to notice the green mold??? ick. OH and funny thing was someone higher-up was saying how if Miss Hateful (ok she used the witch's actual name there) was doing well, the first thing to go would be her after-hours cleaning job. I thought, yeah, right, the witch gets paid to do NOTHING.

Xmas decorations update...I know we're a bit tight down here, but for the love of all that is holy, can't we at least re-wrap a couple of the SAME freaking envelope & letterhead boxes that are ALL wrapped with the SAME 1982 greyed-green discount roll of wrapping paper that have been pulled out of storage each year to put under the tree complete with the SAME 1982 decorations that keep coming back like Chucky in those horror movies????? SOME ugly santas and satanic-looking elves really SHOULD be put to rest instead of brought out JUST BECAUSE WE STILL HAVE THEM.

Almost done, don't worry

my main rant, I can't bring myself to type, I keep erasing it and let's just say "ADAPTATION IS NOT ALWAYS A GOOD THING." and let it go at that. period.

DRIVING RANT-->
In not necessarily a bad mood, just kind of mellow, driving at lunch to get some bernat boa yarn from Michael's and get stuck behind this guy in a pretty little suv thing with a black bumper-sticker on it with a pretty W. I don't pay too much attention until I almost rear-end the idiot as he's one of those who like to hit the gas, talk on the phone, and slam on the brakes, repeat, repeat. After the 2nd time of getting too close to his butt-end, I read the sticker and it's some crap about "W, STILL the president." What the hell? I get a bit miffed and change lanes before I hit him on purpose for his combo of bad driving skills, non ability to talk and drive and his smugness of JUST IN CASE I was not aware, oh yeah, Mr. Bush is still the Pres. I decided I really didn't want to buy him a new vehicle so I change lanes and get behind Bubba. Not bubba as in ex-pres Clinton, nope this is Bubba as in he can't remember his real name. TWO, yes TWO gun racks because one is never enough, on his old pickup truck with rope & ducktape holding the tail-gate of his truck on and a HOME-MADE camouflage paint job. Nothing says "scary milia-man" like a homemade camo paint job. Decided not to hit this guy in the rear end either as I wanted to live another day.

Got to Michaels and found they have Bernat Boa on sale for $3.99/skein. I'm going to try to knit an icord boa/scarf with one skein, but think I might need 2 knitted together for the right weight, we'll see. Got the idea on Just One More Row.

Have good hair today and no where to go, walked to the corner store and got a KING SIZED 3 muskateers and haven't eaten it yet, trying to only eat half, we'll see.

49,562 words on nanowrimo

SO, I cheated a LOT, I'm still getting the dang thing done and having a record of my ramblings. My nanowrimo is the write-a-50,000-word-novel-in-30-days crap I tried this Nov. (not enough to do in my life, you know). I was going to do an extended blog, chic-lit kind of thing with extra details of strange kharma crap that happens in this single momma 36yr old chic's life (aka mine). Added a few stories/essays whatever from memories like "pilates makes you poop", "the worst blind-date EVER, I even won a radio contest because of it", "how to know when you're dating a terrorist" and other fun little things to add to the blog entries I was writing here. The cheatering came as I got closer to Nov. and had less time, I added October's entries in too. As it's only to see if you can do it, I have no moral probs with adding my own writings just not from the 30 day period, so I've now got 438 words to write today and send them off. I'm actually glad I did it.

FINISHED OBJECT ALERT!!!!
OK, I actually have 2, but I can only officially call one "finished". The "2 hour" scarf I tried to find, but the only colors in splash were these obnoxious yellow/baby poop green/orange things that JUST weren't quite what I was looking for in a good Xmas present...so I substituted some other hairy/eyelash thing that was pretty close in a rich brown to go with this cool brown mix of squiggle. It actually took me more like 3 1/2 to 4 hrs, but it's DONE. Crappy pic, sorry, I was trying to hold the new doggie and Dad got only part of the pic in there. It's actually about 9 feet long and maybe 5" wide and CUTE.



FO almost....no pics...Bound off the boob tube, all pleased with myself, so excited, then noticed it was a bit of a tight bind-off row, thought oh well, put it on and COULDN'T MOVE MY ARMS! I tried to take a pic of myself, you know, hold the camera out in front of me, but I couldn't raise my elbows from being crammed in against the ribcage.......and of COURSE this was SATAN's KNOT THREAD, so no hope of frogging the bind-off....tried, but cussed and stomped and threw it across the room and think I may take it to Knit Wits to see if they take pity on me and one of their guru's can rip the dang thing out...otherwise, I'm just going to make cuts in the bottom row about every 10 stitches and wear the damn thing ANYWAY, it's not like it will unravel or anything.....UGH.

3rd piece of news, we have a new doggie! Miles the dog is a shitzu and 2 1/2 yrs old and was given to the kids & I from Uncle Will, who's now living down in Florida. It about tore him up, but he thought since he's working long hours, has NO yard (sand & palm trees & cement) and the kids & I were starting to look for a dog, Miles would enjoy living with us. I think Will called 3 times to check on Miles since Sat. night. This is quite possibly the sweetest already trained dog I've ever met in my life and we LOVE him. Now Uncle Will has an even better reason to visit KC more often!

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving from Super Turkey!

Let it snow! & Free 2 hour scarf pattern

We woke up to the first snow of the season, about 4-6" of pure winter wonderland outside! Since I was given exactly 24 hours to recover from bronchitis, I wasn't due at work until noon so we had time to play! Meet snowman Fred:

Birthday girls each wearing our scarves, aren't we fashionistas? DON'T look at the hair, as I'd been rained on at least 3 times that day.



And we can't forget Joe Cool himself:




And, just in case we forgot this was a knitting blog, here's what's going on:
Boob Tube only has about 2 inches left and pic of the fabric is below right with the UFO's in side column. Knit along tank is going very well, pic is down below on right as well. Since I have about 4 more scarves to make for Xmas presents and NOT enough time to do them, I found another COOL free pattern that's supposed to be a 2hr project....

Splash + Squiggle 2 hour scarf from Crystal Yarns free patterns. It's supposed to only use one ball of each yarn, knit together on sz 17 needles, so I thought I'd give it a try as it looks CUTE! Click the pic to get to the pattern:




I really need to update more free links on the free knitting patterns page, but for now, here's about a MILLION free patterns from the crystal yarns site, there's some really cute stuff in there!

Crystal Yarns Free Patterns

sickie

Well, I finally got the crap that's been recycled in our bad air in the dungeon for the last month. I've actually been coughing at night for a few weeks now, but never really felt bad until today. I've been tired, but I thought it was just due to being up a lot at night. Right after the bigbosses said "we'll work with you as long as we can" on my missing work & making up time, etc. You guessed it, I'm pushing the stinking envelope. I started feeling worse and worse and NOT EVEN HUNGRY...that's usually a MAJOR sign for me (I'm even hungry when I'm hurling with the flu)...my lungs started burning when I breathed and it felt like a 300 lb man was standing on my chest, so I took myself to the walk-in clinic for oh, let's see...2 1/2 hours...and found that I got myself a case of bronchitis that is dangerously close to turning to walking pneumonia. Got some antibiotics and a coughn syrup with narcotics in it to help me sleep (cool, narcotic cough syrup sounds so bad-ass) and I was told that the three owners had a meeting about it and decided I could have the 24 hours until I was no longer contaigous to recover. I'm to be back at work tomorrow at noon. wow.

It's a good thing I'm knitting now or all these stinking dr. office visits could get kind of boring. I cranked out some more of the boob tube and the ball of satan knot thread is getting much smaller. I might be able to finish it today. Didn't make it to Knit Wits to seam my tank, but hope to next week. Worked a bit tonight on the knitalong tank and I'm starting to really like it.

OH, the most exciting part of my day...sitting knitting with said satans knots and it somehow was captivating the prettiest, funniest little baby girl. She had to be about 8 months old, just able to start getting around but her mom had a death grip on her to keep her from touching anything in the waiting room. She was just cooing and giggling and watching that yarn move around as I pulled it from the ball...the mom & grandma turned away from this strange guy that kept making faces at her and was kind of creeping me out. She just kept giggling at me and we'd smile and all that. The mom & grandma gave me their smile of approval and then I got a FREAKING splinter in the tip of my pointer finger from the dang split tip of the needle and it HURT. I'm afraid a "son of a BXXCH" escaped from me quite distinctly and the gasps were combined with looks of horror and the momma putting her hands over the baby's ears, I swear to God. I apologized and kind of chuckled. I thought it was funny, I mean, she's not even talking yet, but still I said I was sorry and I AM a very good momma figure myself. Well, the baby kept trying to squirm to look at the yarn & me trying to pull a splinter out of said finger and the mom would not even let the kid look in my direction. It was a major wreslting match and the pouty kid was winning. When they called my name the grandma said under her breath "Thank God she's gone". Jeez, I'm a threat to grandmas now???

sorry, lame story but I'm tired & sipped my narcotics & am going to bed so I can complete the healing process in my determined 24 hours on schedule.

Girl's Night Out

Thanks to the Fabulous Miss Amanda for arranging our girls' night out! I got to meet the famous Liz which was fun too! We saw the new Bridget Jones movie and I have to admit I laughed, I cried a tear or two and then laughed again. I do have to say DAMN those happily ever movies with rich, gorgeous men who love their women enough to fight for them....you KNEW how it would turn out, but I still absolutely loved it. I figured my life isn't much different, except that I don't live in an unbelieably cool flat in London, I've got 2 kids, I don't have a job that lets me travel over the world, or have two gorgeous, stinking rich brittish men fighting over me, but I do have a fabulously gay friend or four and a few other obnoxious girlfriends that give me lots of life advice and drink with me occasionally, and I journal and I'm clumsy and a bit inappropriate. Yup, two peas in a pod. Anyway, I highly recommend the movie for a fun feel-good flick.

KNITTING-->Knitting away on the boob tube, ignoring the tank-along, and I'm taking the summer in the city tank front & back to Knit Wits tomorrow.

WORK-->YES! I totally skated out of any big meetings other than the regular Monday Morning Meeting official thing which was NOT a lot of fun. You know, I can't help but like the big boss lady. It's a strange place to work, our little dungeon, but I can't say it's boring by any means. I actually did a little "I'm not in the conference room.....I'm not in the conference room..." dance this afternoon. Lots of meetings and lots of decisions and lots of stress, and I very wisely kept OUT of the majority of it. Even though I believe the local bossman is getting a bit tired of me, the big lady still likes me, so now apparently they'll work with me and let me work as much as I can and will "work with me as long as possible" and it was like no big whoop. AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN, minus the "little talk" crap threatened and never followed through on last week. That makes no sense, but it does in dungeon-speak.

MAN, old Belly-Boy here in KC Chiefs land is nasty. That big ol hairy belly painted up and boucing around while belly boy is cheering & dancing in the COLD on Monday Night Football. Poor chiefs. I'm afraid I would have given up and put on a damn coat if I were him. He's either a very loyal fan or had too much alcohol to mind. No way could I go buck nekkid in the KC cold at night...

Gotta get typing on the old nanowrimo. I cheated a bit by including some older writing, but really not too much, and now I'm getting serious. GONNA do it. It's gotten personal here. me against the dang words.

SSSHHHHH be very very quiet....

It's day one of the big bosses in town. I NEED to learn to keep my BIG MOUTH SHUT sometime. I was just offering all kinds of opinions in our big Monday meeting today. stupid stupid stupid

I need to learn by example from the wise one and keep my mouth shut, stay under the radar and go back to my little corner and maybe no one will notice me. As she put it when I finally did NOT do something stupid.......said "Ah, very wise, grasshopper"

KNITTING update--> I was CRANKING out some serious knitting this weekend! I forced myself to try to battle the clutter that is drowning me in the house, but only got my bedroom done. I considered moving on to another room, then saw my tank top calling me .... knit me .... you're almost done ... just a few more rows.... and I caved. I got the front & back DONE on the summer in the city tank done and now have to sew the sides and crochet the straps and armholes, neckholes and bottom. Nothing like finishing a SUMMER tank top made of WOOL in NOVEMBER. Ah well, why should my life start making sense now? Don't exactly know how to do the stitching, am going to take it over lunch to Knit Wits tomorrow over lunch and see if one of the customers sitting around the table will take pity on me. (that's how I learn all my tricks)

Also got about 3 feet done on another aunt's scarf for xmas and did NONE of my ribbon knitalong, will work on it later.

I FOUND ANOTHER LYS! ok, apparently it's BEEN there, but I didn't know until yesterday. The Studio, on the west end of the plaza, 316 W 47th Street, looks TASTY. I didn't let myself actually open the door. I walked by and drooled in the windows. I can't afford to spend another penny on yarn until I start eBay-ing again. A lady knitting on her scarf at the McDonald's tubes said she got her yarn there and I had to do a drive-by.

KIP-->This weekend I ran into THREE different ladies all knitting in public or KIP. I often KIP and this weekend NEVER had any of my works in progress along this time, but it was still fun! There's something neat about being able to talk with a total stranger and suddenly it's like the 50's and you're neighbors talking over the backyard fence. I don't know how to describe it, but knitting has added a lot to my life. I've made friends through the internet, through yarn shops and total strangers, it makes you all warm & fuzzy and hopeful for the future. OK, I know, I know, TOO MUCH TOUCHY FEELY CRAP. Anyway, Nicholas's mom (one of my son's friends) was working on a scarf at Chuck E. Cheese's during a bday party, an older lady was working on a lacy shawl at Half-Price Books and a mother was working on her hubby's scarf at McDonalds while her son and my children ran around screaming and giggling and going crazy.

Damn Jazzercise Chics

DANG those jazzercise chics can move it! I got invited along to Miss T's birthday celebration at Raul's Velvet Room and shook my booty to all the good ones like ... she's a brick.....house..... and ......what I like about you....you really know how to dance..... and that song from the queen movie dancing queen? or something....it was the song in the movie where the 2 girls dressed up like guys dressing up like women to hide from the mob, can't remember the name, but the whole bar stood up and rose it's arms to the sky and sang.....dance with me.....can't remember, dangit.

ANYWAY, thanks to Miss T, I'm SO going to have to start jazzercising. Those chics were all at least 10-15 yrs older than me an FULL of freaking energy and cute as buttons. We had a BLAST!

ALSO a funny side, one of the girls was very proud of her cleavage and I thought it was a bit strange, but hey, if I had cleavage, I'd be happy too, so I kept my mouth shut. Then she said she BOUGHT her boobies. I have the "curves" or some such crap from victoria's secret that never stay put in your bra and so I never wear them, but these are sticky no strap boobies that stick to you and give you cleavage and are a trip! I bought me some boobies tonight. $24.95 from www.hsn.com.

see my new boobies

HAH, now I really need to finish my sexy tank & the city tank & the knitalong tank...cripes.

Golden Dog, and my bright exercise/knitting idea

First, "Golden Dog" aka Joey, did great in his Thanksgiving production at the preschool. WHAT a trip! Those 4 & 5 yr olds worked so hard at making native american decorations & costumes and turkeys and all the good stuff. They sang Thanksgiving songs (yes, they DO exist) and said poems and my fave was the 5 Fat Turkeys...

Five Fat Turkeys, sitting on the fence
The first one said, "I'm so immense."
The second one said, "I can gobble at you."
The third one said, "Well, I can gobble too."
The fourth one said, "I can spread my tail."
The fifth one said, "Don't catch it on a nail."
Along came a farmer with something to say,
"Turkeys are the best on Thanksgiving Day"

There was something else about being a little Cherokee and having a bow & arrow and at the end they scream at the top of their lungs, "Bears and buffalos you'd better watch out."

Now, these and about 10 other songs were "sung" by the little ones...in other words, shouted at us to the point that you only knew the songs were over when it got quiet.

The truly entertaining thing was the parents & grandparents in the audience. I mean, I think my kid's cute and I enjoy it but HOLY CRAP PEOPLE, they're just kids. Video cameras, digitals, disposables, UNREAL. Then there was overhearing all the moms bragging about their kids' "work" in their acting classes, gymastics, etc. preparing them for success in the "real world". I figured I'd shelter my munchkins from the "real world" as long as humanly possible and allow them to be KIDS that just hang out and play in the dirt, swing, and be bored. Did you notice NO children are allowed to be bored anymore? to have to come up with their own imaginative ways to entertain themselves??? My poor kids. They have that opportunity more than they would like, but it's really amazing the games they can come up with if I just turn off the damn tv and leave them alone once in a while.

Ran home, put the kids to bed, and mom & dad VERY nicely offered to listen for them so I could run out and meet Alison at her goodbye last night in kc. Sad, but fun too and now I have another reason to take a trip to Denver! She'll wipe that city out of expensive tiny sized shoes in no time.

When I got home, I realized I didn't have time to exercise AND knit before bed. I got this great idea last night...why not COMBINE the knitting I love with the exercise I don't particularly care for??? I could get my knitting projects done while getting all fit & trim....(Did I mention I'm extremely NOT graceful)

So, first I thought I'd try the treadmill. How hard could it be? I normally multitask and do 4-10 things at once, so no biggie, right??? Am I the only idiot or has anyone else done this??? After realizing I had to time my steps with the stitches, it was almost do-able, but I about had a heart attack and then later almost impaled myself on the ONE pair of beautiful rosewood needles I have and decided to try something else. I had quite the setup, though. A kid's plastic bucket hanging from a hook on the treadmill kept the yarn, and I was only trying to work on another straight garter stitch scarf, but it was a no go.

Next I thought I could do the stationary bike. That wasn't too bad, used the same bucket to hold yarn off one of the handles, but again the timing had to be just right for me to stitch and pedal and not get all caddywampus. I actually fell off the stinking bike. ONTO the ground. Too much work.

Decided to sit on my butt on the couch AS GOD INTENDED while knitting and compromised by doing lunges & pushups whenever commercials came on. Then I got lazy and just sat there knitting away.

Ended up almost finished with my boob tube, only have about two inches left, hope to get it done tomorrow. Back to rewarding myself by sitting & knitting AFTER the time on the treadmill...crap.



Taking the kids to see spongebob this weekend, should be fun! Is it 5:00 yet?????? Hoping Amanda is enjoying her day off from the dungeon, what am I thinking, of COURSE she is! Knock em dead at your sing thing!

I'm actually going OUT tonight. Woo hoo. Going to head out to meet a few girls at Raul's velvet club to dance to the disco band and then trying to get Russell to go out too (if we can drag Mark out of the house, otherwise I might just kidnap Russell anyway!).

Letter to Dubbya

OK, I know the election's over, and I shouldn't be concerned that the new "family values" movement that is taking over the country shouldn't scare me into investigating living conditions in Canada, but part of me still likes to THINK and LAUGH and debate a bit. Even though the current trend is frighteningly similar to how Hitler's army of young SS teens began....using the Bible as literal translations, anyone with a differing view is a traitor, etc.....

You might have seen this already in email form, but I got a kick out the post on Homegrown Daisy's entry today. I have to admit I'm a bit too silly today to function in the normal world, and in my head this voice like a combo of old Beavis & Butthead and southpark characters was saying..."smite them....smite them all...he he he..." I blame the stinking new diet/exercise plan I began...serious chocolate withdrawal is not a pretty thing.....smite them....smite them all!

Letter to Dubbya

I promise to get back to work, try to act normal and my next entry will be official knitting updates & life updates and all that.

I also need to apologize to my Christian friends. I'm a good ol Catholic girl, so I am not ever really sure if I qualify as a "Christian". I do believe in God and the Bible has some good stuff in it, but when people get preachy and literal on pointing out how OTHERS are sinning and must be ostracized, I get a pit pissy.

Stephanie's Turkey

HA! Here's Stephanie's Happy Turkey Day Photo....she was the one who got me hooked on the ol blogging world.

Is she creative or what? CRACKED me up, so I thought I'd steal her pic and share. :)

more pics

Here's more goodies. Pics from Huyen's baby shower last Sat. Adam caught me at my best, chowing down.... although it was a good hair day, and I'm wearing the wild stuff mix/max skinny scarf....


Here's Adam & Phuong


Alison & Rich


Huyen (mommy to be) and Phuong


Phuong holding Lili's daughter Trinity


and did I mention we not only eat a lot at our get-togethers, but we DRINK as well?
Alison & Phuong modeling baby clothes, yes those are baby undies on Phuong's head.


These are the girls who've taken me into their circle of friendship and I just love them to pieces. I have exactly 4 weeks to get my sexy tank done and lose some weight so I don't look like the token beached whale at the Asian Refugee Annual Christmas Party this year!

Normally when I go out, I'm the Mary and am with a few Rhodas....but with these damn skinny, pretty chics, I'm the BIG OL RHODA! Damn. Ah well, it keeps me humble.

One of my other friends sent me the portrait she made when she filled in answers to questions for me...

Did anyone else notice I was FREAKING EATING in it too??? She can't find the website she made it, so I might go mosey around google and see if I can find it...paybacks are a bitch!

It's Picture Time!

Still don't like the look of the blog, don't really have the time to care. For now, it'll just have to be boring. get over it.

PICTURE TIME! Woo Hoo!

Here's the beautiful boob tube I'm going to make out of the Alchemy Flake. I can't call it yarn, I'll call it satan's knots. Since I've half-knit the dang thing twice now, I'm thinking I can whip it out in the next couple of days.


Here's what was waiting for me on my desk from Amanda on my birthday! It says "Twinkle, twinkle, you're a star" and is sassy and I LOVE it! Thank you doll!

These are the two books I picked up for myself with some of the bday $$ from the folks:

I can't wait to make the yoga mat bag....guess that means I have to go buy a yoga mat, huh?

My daughter got this among her plethora of goodies and I can't WAIT to help her learn this stuff, mostly because I think the little bracelets you can make are COOL too! Poor thing, she had no choice but to grow up crafty!


Here's the start of the ribbon tank knitalong I've started:


And I just thought these women oooooozzed coolness:

a feminine feminist

KNITTING--> decided NOT to throw the ribbon tank out into the backyard, though I was severely tempted. I've started this stinking thing 3 times now. I gave up on getting anything closely resembling the gauge and am now making it on 13's. We'll see how big it turns out. It should either turn out lovely or XXXL. I'm getting VERY good at tearing the damn thing out and starting over. Can I fake it if I started the knitalong?

KNIT SHOPPING--> Found they carry clover bamboo needles at Joann Etc. and are pretty cheap there. woo hoo!

WORK--> never got my "talk" from the local bossman. Not too concerned any more. Packed up the last few pieces of my crap yesterday during the tantrum and then today was all pissed because I mean EVERYTHING was gone from the office except my plant from Susie. I had to go out to the car to even get a piece of stinking gum this afternoon. Decided to be proactive and sent a second email around to the bigwigs and cc the "management team" aka me & two others with my suggestion for my work plan and if they have different ideas or they need to let me go to let me know. Next week should be interesting with the big bosses in town. If they're going to get rid of me, get it over with, if not, let me know.

LIFE PLAN--> still working to get to school in Jan. YES I'll be the old creepy woman in class with the young grad students, but I'm going to be there one way or another.

ETC--> Damn, the daily show cracks me up. Jon Stuart does the best Condoleeza Rice impersonation I've ever seen. cracked me up.

ETC 2--> I was called a "damned feminine feminist" last night by one of the old crazies I ran into at the bowl Monday night. YES I have dated men that were NOT bowlers, but this was a freaky REALLY bad blind-date-turned-stalker-after-one-date I went on as a pity date for the best friend of a center manager. CREEP. I thanked him kindly for noticing and smiled sweetly. I find it confuses and pisses off the extremely creepy if you smile.

My weekend fun (LONG LONG version, sorry!)

WARNING-->this is quite possibly the longest post I've ever written, it goes on FOREVER and has no real point...hey, this is now another entry in my nano with a few modifications....read only if you have a lot of time to kill and nothing to do!

Since it's been so long since I had a weekend that had more social activities for myself than for my kids, I thought I'd share! OK, it wasn't a wild weekend on any other measurement scale, but I'm going to take what I can get and I really had a good time!

Friday, 5:01, hit the road, picked up my son & was on the way to get my daughter at about 5:20. Got a phone call that at 5:10, my little girl "beat up one of the boys in after-care". (I'm not one of those parents who think their children are angels and can do no wrong, but she's absolutely the last person in the world who would hit someone.) When I asked for details the girl said she "pushed him, kicked him in the head and he ended up with a large bump and will have to go to the doctor's and she LIED about it." I made sure it was MY daughter and the boy she supposedly beat the crap out of was a lot bigger than her and one of her friends, so it totally did not make sense. Apparently they thought she was lying because when they said "Why did you kick him in the head and beat him up?" and she said "I didn't beat him up, I just pushed him off me." When I got there it seemed the after-care program director and both of her assistant helpers had all left at 5pm and the only ones left were the two high school girls who are pretty much incompetent. After talking with my daughter and calling the mother of the little boy it turned out that the kids were all crowded in together on the mats watching a movie and they bumped each other, another boy shoved this one onto her, Beth got hit in the shins and had a few little bruises, so she pushed the boy off her and he stood up, tripped and fell backwards over another kid, hitting his head on the ground. The mom said he didn't even have a bump or anything and not to worry about it. SO my daughter was the FIRST one suspended out of the program and I had to get creative about getting her to & from school. Man, that's a phone call I didn't ever think I'd have to make...."sorry my daughter beat up your son...." HAH. OK, I have to admit, a little part of me was like "YEAH!" because she is just learning to stand up for herself if someone picks on her or her friends.

After we got everyone all calm and happy at home and called the mom and such, Friday night was pretty much ready for bath & snacks & bed for kiddos and I knitted this new satanic yarn I bought from the LYS on my bday. I am making a modified funky boob tube, and it's the most HORRIBLE stuff to start on circular needles, but once it gets going, it's not too bad. I knitted, frogged, knitted, frogged, said the HELL with this BIRTHDAY yarn crap and got a glass of wine. It called to me....."I'll be nice, knit me, please, knit me" So after another glass of wine and laughing on the phone about my daugher aka "bruiser" decided to give it another go. I was cruising on the boob tube, had about 8" done, it's such a simple pattern and really moves.....realized I screwed up and was supposed to do plain ol stockinette for the first 8" and not start the increase pattern until AFTER the first 8" were done....YUP, I'd been just increasing my little heart out and it was not fixable....so the whole damn thing was frogged again. I was actually trying to get it done to wear out on Sat. night, but that didn't quite work. So, got myself a diet coke (I know, it was after midnight and I'm popping caffiene before bed) typed about 1300 words on the never-going-to-get-to-50,000 nanowrimo thing and went to bed.

Sat. I had about 4 people I hadn't talked with in months call to say hello and catch up. Man, the best friends are those you can talk to while cleaning toilets! I got the kids to help clean the house as it was getting a bit frightening! We went garage-saling in the am and had fun, found a few treasures (aka CRAP) that the kids couldn't live without and mostly wandered around in the cold air. I loved watching the munchkins decide on their purchases...they have to take their own quarters & when they're out, they're out. Joey's a monster when it comes to wheeling & dealing....he goes up with a toy marked $2 and ends up using his big-eyes-looking-sad bit and comes back after spending a quarter. The kid's got talent. Beth uses him now. She'll send him up with a girly thing and he'll say "I really want to buy this for my sister, can I use this?", hand her a couple quarters and if that doesn't work, he HUGS them. What little old lady can resist a spiky-headed-boy that hugs? MAN I have to act really interested in some piece of crap on the lawn to observe and not look like I'm pimping my kids.

Went to Huyen's baby shower while mom watched the kids. There's nothing more fun than hanging out with about 50 asians! My wild little group is starting to mellow out. My friend Alison got me adopted into this big international group and I've gone from being that "tall white chic" (I'm actually only 5 foot 7", but most of my friends are barely 5 foot, so I'm like a giant-woman) they brought along for fun, kind of a fringe-friend, to being invited into these women's and their friends' lives. It's wierd. When you are a kid, you make new friends all the time. When we go to college, we make life-friends and then we grow up and just end up with aquaintances. I made a resolution to live more of my life and be open to making friends a few years ago and I ended up meeting Russell & Alison right about then. Since then I've added other special people to my life and it's really amazing....

OK, enough touchy-feely-crap, back to the story....ANYWAY, Huyen was one of the girls I went to chicago with over July 4th weekend (pictures on my links). She's about the cutest little preggo girl! I was cracking up because there were about 4 white people, a few Indians and a ton of asians. I've never seen so many freaking cameras in my life, it was like the biggest stereotype of all, but I SWEAR I'm in about 45 pics and I wasn't the momma-to-be! She must be in over 100. I was cracking up. They also EAT very well and DRINK a bit too. I was a good girl and just ate veggies & fruit and no drinks. The group's parties seem to start in the afternoon and usually end up around 2am. They wanted me to go out for my bday that night, but I had a hot date, so couldn't. They said to not make lunch plans for the next day. I can't explain it, but it's so amazing to just be pulled into this neat group of women! It makes me all happy & gushy inside. OH, and of course there's one old white guy (the daddy-to-be's father) who comes to ask for my # before I leave....WHAT IS THIS FREAKY OLD GUY MOJO I'M WORKING NOW?????????? He's rich as snot, about 60 and a slight alcoholic. woo. baby. At least he didn't resemble Kenny Rogers, that's a plus as most of the men I attact are dead ringers for the country star.

TIRED OF READING YET???

Sat afternoon I ran home, got the kids, went to get dvd's for the new dvd/vcr player I got from mom & dad and got the kids set for my super-sitter, Michael. Michael's one of my hundreds of cousins (I'm catholic, what can I say?) His big sister was one of my best friends when we were growing up and she ended up dying of cervical cancer in her early 20's. Michael's kind of an adopted baby brother who looks like a linebacker. He's in KC now going to college at DeVry. He comes over about every other weekend and the kids love him. I feed him and pay him and we hang out and catch up and I pick on him like Erin would have done. It's a good setup for all as he's kind but also big & tough and a good male role model for Joey too. He got there and I hit the ROAD. Wore a black scoop-neck top w/jeans and heels and my cool wild-mix skinny scarf wrapped around my neck about 5 times, GREAT hair, NO zits and I was a little hotty. Headed out to Argosy casino and met my old friend Bill there. He found out it was my bday weekend from another friend and decided we'd live it up. Bill could well have been my "bob" (my wild aunt Dot from CA has a gentleman friend who is my goal for what I want in a life partner. He's amazing, sweet, funny, cute and has his own damn life and his own damn job and own damn house and comes over when she wants him to and goes away when she wants too...it works for both of them. I've decided I'm not getting married again, but my goal is to find a friend/lover/partner when I'm in my 50's or 60's and if not that's ok too) He's moving to Hilton Head, SC to run a bowling center, he's now a district manager for about 18 centers in the area. We decided we like to hang out, there's an attraction, (NO HE'S NOT A BOWLER, so NONE OF MY OLD FRIENDS GIVE ME ANY CRAP HERE--My ex-hubby was a professional bowler and the 2nd hubby that only lasted 6 months after marriage because he was a crazy M.F. was also a bowler and I swore a blood oath that I would not marry any more bowlers) SORRY, back to the LONG-ASS version of my life....

DAMN I'm getting tired of typing!

So, we go in and wander past the restaurants and decide on the Journey, this really nice (and expensive) steak restaurant. I ate EVERYTHING and almost barfed. I'm not one of those dainty little pick at a salad on a date kind of chics. If there's food, and it's good and especially if it's expensive, I'm EATING it baby. So, we both get salads, bread, steak, mashed potatoes that were like HEAVEN and green beans that were amazing....and there was NOTHING left on my plate....how scary is that? We also downed a bottle of shiraz wine and were just talking and telling stories, he's lived the most amazing life. I am trying to get him to start a blog just recording different things he's done as a record. He decides since it's my bday, we've got to get dessert. I very daintilly (is that a word?) say I may barf on the table if I force any further food into my body....and he says just take a taste of mine....and he orders this chocolate fudge cake satanic godiva chocolately thing that I could have DIED it was so freaking good AND a piece of strawberry/raspberry/cheesecake divine thing....of course I packed in about half of those as well. After we finished the wine, I rolled myself out of the restaurant and we wandered over to the craps table.

Bill gave me a $100 bill to use, and I said "I'm not using your stinking money" and he said whatever we make we'll spend. So, since my fingers are getting tired here, I'll just say I lived on that $100 all night long. The only time I'd tried craps I'd lost all my $$ in about 15 minutes and didn't have a clue why. THIS time I was QUEEN of the table. It was a blast. The funny part was Bill threw down at least 4 more $100 bills. I kept saying "you want some of my money?" but you can't share chips at the table and he wouldn't hear of it. (He's also loaded and has no kids and no real demands so I figured he's a big boy). At one point I had the two trays in front of me FILLED with chips...counted $680-something at one point...but we kept playing. After about 2 1/2 hours there we moved on to roulette. I left the table with $450 or so and he got up to $300 in chips, so overall we were a bit up. I hate roulette, but we had a blast. We sat next to the funniest girl. She was with this tough biker-guy. She talked like a cartoon character from the 30's...that high pitched baby doll voice, and had BIG ol boobies sticking out of this top that had one little button hanging on between them. She also jumped up & down whenever she did anything good or bad, so it was quite a sight. Then she looks down at her boobies and says to me, "Do you like them? They're new!" And I say, they're lovely. Bill elbows me and whispers "Are you seriously out at a casino talking about a woman's new breasts?" The other guys are cracking up at the table. Then I see she's talking about the brooch or pin things she's got on the top just below the one button that's straining to keep these little basketballs in place. I laughed until I snorted.

So, we end up telling stories, laughing, having fun until I figure I'd better get home and we go out to the valet around 2am. I get a very nice kiss goodnight and head off into the night, listening to my Violent Femmes cd loud with all the windows down and the butt-heater in my seat on high and in a very nice mood.

The kiddo's wake up at about 6:30 am, so momma's moving a little slow...they run & I stagger downstairs and get breakfast, then lay on the couch while the munchkins entertain themselves by building an obstacle course of blocks, chairs, giant spongebob pillow, sleeping bags and the like. Make my way to the shower and Phuong and Huyen call about lunch. We get moving and head to the Elephant Bar (very good food) and meet up for lunch for my bday! The kids shared a meal and I ate until I was going to pop AGAIN, inhaled this wonderful chicken chinese thing. And they gave me PRESENTS! I was just so touched that these new friends remembered my bday, and then that they scheduled a big lunch for me and PRESENTS! I got some yummy perfume (with comments that they're tired of my old-lady Elizabeth Arden Red Door that I've worn for years), 3 silver picture frames and a cute necklace & earrings set that looks like me! We ate a bunch, talked a lot and of course many more photos were taken! (I don't even bring a camera anymore to anything as I know these girls will have it covered!)

Then we run to Joey's friend's bday party. It was a dress-up princess party with about 25 girls and 4 boys. They stuck a note on Joey's card that he could dress like a prince or a king if he wanted to. We don't have a whole lot of king-material, so we did the batman cape and a paper crown. We got to princess alley and saw a crowd of cinderellas, snow whites, sleeping beauties and tinkerbells (when did she become a princess?) and Joey and the other little guys with their capes. Joey got rid of the paper crown and put up the batman hood w/eyes and pointy ears and was running around the room with his arms out like he was flying....chaos. But they had a blast, ended up getting both kids' faces painted and I very politely said no thanks on the bday cake as I could not possibly put any more food into my body.

Sunday evening I got my presents from the kids. Beth had made a beautiful drawing of she & I & Joey playing on the swings and Joey made me a heart and wrote his name in it.

My life was all stressful and kind of getting to me and I wasn't planning on doing anything for my bday. I ended up having the nicest weekend in a long time. Friday I'm going out with some other friends for a belated bday party and am going to try to drag Russell along too! I got nice emails & thoughts from my new blogger friends and I'm just a happy little camper. I think I'll plan on not celebrating again next year and see if I can do all this again!

My tantrum's over now

Well, I'm feeling better now. I've got Nachos Bell Grande and am so hungry I might just lick the nacho cheese off the lid too.

Sorry about the old ranting & raving here about the dungeon. I hate when people complain over & over and don't do anything to change the situation. I'm working on changes, but it's taking a bit longer than anticipated. Now I'm just trying to walk & talk like a normal adult person and not go crazy. Who needs a therapist when you have a blog? It's my sanity-saver.

fyi still no talk, bring it on. I'm ready.