Wise things I've learned

#1...children that you have to drag out of bed at 6:45am M-F will be awake and bouncing off the ceiling at 6:00am on Sat. and Sunday mornings.

#2...I cannot eat popcorn without eating chocolate afterwards. A lot of chocolate, not just a bite to cancel the saltyness.

#3...High heeled wooden clogs are NOT the cure for slight shin splints. They actually encourage more pain. Don't do it.

#4...I cannot get anything done early in a well planned manner. It has to be last minute, stressful running around "the sky if falling" kind of things to get my creativity to kick in. If I do actually get something done early, it will suck.

#5...Men over 40 should NOT wear roller skates in public with little shorts. period. And if they do, they should NOT knock me off my bike on the bike trails without serious repercussions. Flamboyantly gay men in their 30's to early 40's may be allowed, but they'd better be damn pretty. I am still pissed about the chubby idiot who took me out...(story below)

#6...Women over 40 should NOT wear pigtails on the sides of their heads. It is not cute, it is actually quite frightening. A classic little low pony-tail is acceptable.

#8...A 70 yr old woman can still kick the crap out of a 36 yr old bowling goddess-to-be. I shot 650 (averaged 216 over 3 games) in the ladies' scratch league Monday night and got my butt handed to me by a lady in her 70's. As I moaned about us losing points to these wonderful yet OLDER than us ladies, another one came up to tell me she just turned 80 (she shot 680) and did I feel any better? NOPE! I did appreciate her spunk, though, and told her I'd like to be able to whoop up on younger ladies when I'm her age. Actually, I'd like to whoop up on them NOW.

#9...When you start cranking out scarves, scarves, scarves, it's easy to lose track. I've now got enough to give and then some...and I want to make more, it's like a disease....stop me....please....it's too late to sell them, so if I can resist, I can be really ready for a bazaar or something next year, but I'm afraid I want to wear them ALL myself....so I'm a bit selfish & spoiled, so what?

For those of you newer readers, here's the bike vs. roller-blading old guy story from July 2004:

Survived a 10 mile bike ride around the trails of O.P. on Sunday. I have some serious battle scars to prove it. I was actually doing pretty well, only had to walk up one hill, was almost feeling cocky...then I tried to cross this little overpass-thing next to Metcalf Ave. It's one of the skinniest yet on the trails. I'm almost across when this overweight old guy that did not resemble Kenny Rogers in any fashion (so no redeeming qualities here) on ROLLER BLADES starts across. I shout out, wait, hold on, I'm almost done....oh no, he says don't worry, there's plenty of room. Did I say he was OVERWEIGHT???? also very wobbly. Men over 30 should not be on rollerblades unless they are HOT and GAY, enough said. YUP, you can imagine the fun, he wobbles his big self along, NO ROOM to pass, clips my wheel and I bash back and forth like a pingpong ball from the sharp metal fence to the cement barrier. I learned that helmets work much better when they are buckled, good for me I buckled that day. Also learned that you should probably pack some bandaids or gauze or such in the cute little seat pack thing I bought, not just lip gloss, keys and phone. I ended up leaving a flap of elbow skin on the fence, probably a dent from my helmet on the cement barrier, a nice little trail of blood from the said elbow and knees along with two massive funky round bruises on the inside of my knees, not sure how I got those, guess it was from smacking the bike??? I should have left my foot up the guy's big old butt, but I just smiled as he skated by when he said "oops, I guess we didn't quite fit, huh???" If I wasn't wrapped in metal and suffering a partial concussion and slow and rather chubby myself, I would have run at the guy. NEXT time I'm taking him OUT. No more nice chic.