Thursday, December 23, 2004

Merry Merry Knitmas & greetings from a psycho

HOLY CRAP there's not much time left before Christmas. Tonight I've got to sew in some ends on a butt-load of scarves & purses & crap. I should do it as soon as I'm done with a project, but of course, I put them all off for LATER. I've also got to sew the noro party purses together and get them felted. Hopefully they'll be dry by the time we have our little family Xmas a few days after the big day.

So, I get the mail yesterday and find all these lovely Christmas cards from family and friends (I almost never get cards out and figure I'd better at least send a few this year or no one will send me any more)...and get all warm & fuzzy feeling reading the dreaded family update letters and laughing at pictures and such, when I get to a card with no return address. Thinking, ah, it's probably from a lazy person like me, open it and it's from Lavere (yes that's actually his real name) some normal card with "love Lavere" written in it. Creepy. OK, the story behind this is he was the 2nd worst blind date EVER IN THE HISTORY OF BLIND DATES....the best friend of one of the bowling center managers I used to work with when I worked in the district office, said he had a nice friend, who just wanted an evening out with no strings attached and he thought we'd be "perfect" for each other. Apparently this manager guy thought I was a total psychotic schizophrenic sociopath as that's what this guy was. FREAKY. We went to lunch (I normally drive myself at dates or drive the guy too so I can leave if I want) and he met me at work and I can't even describe the hour. It was a strange lunch with conversations of about every off-limits topic, how girls that happen to get raped need to have the baby as it's cleansing for them, other strange strange things like that....and I was like looking at this guy with my mouth hanging open in shock the whole time. If I politely tried to change the subject, he'd come out with another one. I cut the time short, figured I'd better not leave the creep at the restaurant because his best friend was waiting to go play golf with him back at work, so drive him back and he won't get out of my car. I swear to God, he won't get out. I finally say, you know, I have to go back to work...inSIDE the building...OUT of the car...and he's still going on about how homeless people actually want to be cold and it is offensive to them to give money or clothing....and he's answering himself like I'm talking and I'm not saying anything. I finally take my purse out of the blazer and go inside to work and tell his freaky-ass best friend to get him the hell out of my car. Then he comes inside CRYING tears running down his face because he thought he may have offended me and he couldn't live with himself...(thinking GOOD, maybe a life without you in it would be safer) but I did not say anything but "oh, no it was lovely thanks". ICK. Time goes on and about every other month a teddy bear or card arrived at the office with no name attached or he'd stand at the other end of the building from our office just talking with his friend and looking like he's not aware of me and then pointing at me like you do in jr. high. After a few talks with his friend that I really REALLY don't want anything to do with him and his friend thinks he just doesn't do well in relationships because he "tries too hard". ICK. SO, I get the new job here in the dungeon and on my last day at the old job I get an envelope with a black thong with my name in beads up the back butt-floss string with no name. CAN WE ALL SAY ICK????? So, let's just say the card is NOT hanging on the door with all the rest lest the psychoticness is catching. My old boss from that job (yes the one I've gone out with a few times lately) told the manager early on to keep his friend away from me or he'd be arrested or physically hurt and that I was actually seeing someone so to give up. I'm not even worrying that the guy has my freaking address to send the card to as I got the same card last year. What the hell? HOW do I attract these people??????? I'm just really hoping not to end up a story on Law & Order some day.

Another post I'll tell you all the story of the WORST blind date ever from when I was 20. Needless to say, I go on no more blind dates. Would you????

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