happy halloweeney! booooooooo and all that crap

Cute pic above from Georgia's last year's blog entry for halloween. She is this adorable knitter who's blog is Always on my mind. Check her out, she's got some great stuff including a good free crocheted flower pattern.

YEAH! I do love Halloween. First of all, RAIN RAIN, GO AWAY....MY LITTLE MUNCHKINS WANNA TRICK OR TREAT TODAY.... and momma don't like trick or treating in the rain. Why does it always rain & drizzle on halloween in KC? All the forecasters were saying it will rain today but tonight is supposed to be clear and 52 degrees, so let's hope they're right! I have a little witch and a little dale earnhardt jr. who are ready to go. We're going over to Jeff's sister's house for a big party and then trick or treating till we can't carry any more candy! (I said screw the avoiding chocolate thing until tomorrow, so fun sizes will be FUN tonight!) who'm I kidding? I had 6 mini baby ruths and snickers bars for breakfast.

My clappy didn't get finished, but damn I'm close. knit knit knit knit. Went to the LYS and did NOT buy myself anything other than one set of circ's. Got my sp a few goodies and need to get them mailed.

On Sat. Beth got out this little Knitting Machine plastic thing we got for $5 at a garage sale about 3 months ago. I'd stuck it into the garage and forgot about it. We cranked that puppy up and she made a sparkly eyelash yarn tube scarf in all of 20 minutes. It was a BLAST! I think we're going to get some fancy schmancy horror eyelash/fur yarns from the craft store and let her girlfriends each make a scarf on her bday in a couple of weeks. They have a similar model to the one we got advertised on tv called the real knit & gem machine. cute cute cute! Best $5 I've spent apparently. I'll get a pic up soon.

Wanna hear something scary for your halloween? Ok, it won't scare you, but it scared the bejeebies out of me. I realized I like my job. No, I love my job. WTF? Who is this lady? Of course, the atmosphere has changed a wee bit, and I only put in about 15 hours a week actually IN the office (rest is at home in my bedroom office filled with sunshine and nice music). I just hope it is here for a couple of more years to keep me going.

Also, note from Friday's red shirt outing. My loving boyfriend told me I was nuts on my red shirt=power theory. He said how does that explain the chiefs? (poor guys). Then he asked was it mostly men that were being exceptionally nice to me and I said yes, why? Apparently when I moved my arms either forward like to open a door or behind me to pull out my $$ from my back pocket, I was showing some serious cleavage supplied by my new VS push-up bra. THAT was why the boys were all being nice. good to know I was putting on a show.

I always thought that red = power thing was full of crap. As a redhead, I've grown up being told to NEVER wear red. NEVER. Plus there's that whole bee/hornet phobia and bees are attracted to bright reds, which REALLY meant that in my whole life I've owned 2 red shirts...one chiefs tshirt, one chiefs sweatshirt, neither of which gets worn very often as I look like CRAP in them. My face gets all blotchy looking, ick ick ick. UNTIL NOW........The Express (which store I've hated ever since I got old & chubby as it reminds me how out of style I am and I snort with laughter at trying on a pair of pants there) had this amazing deep burgandy/reddish button down shirt in the window. Calling my name. I went in and tried it on. OH MY HOLY HELL It looked good, I bought it, even has a titch of spandex for that stretchy, curvy look. I've now worn the thing twice. The first time, some guy washed off my windshield for me while I was pumping gas. (A nice-looking guy, not some creepy homeless guy spitting on it, I used to get those in NM all the time, ick). Then I wore it with just jeans and ugly brown shoes. TODAY I'm wearing it again, but with black heels, dark jeans, lipstick and earrings (seriously dressed up for lazy-lady). I got doors opened for me, people got out of my way in line for the daily diet coke, and when I stopped by the diner for a good ol breakfast of protein protein protein (scrambled eggs & bacon to go) I had the most wonderful conversation with this guy next to me and he bought my little $5 breakfast. I told him, "no, I'm fine, really" but he insisted and asked if I had plans for lunch (I was good and told him I have a boyfriend). THE POWER......bwaaaaa ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa! I'm telling you, this may be why athletes and business guru's wear red. Go get yourself one. Take over your little corner of the world.

Clappy the scarf is growing to be so big I'm afraid it will cover my entire body when done. I went and checked the specs, and it's supposed to be 21" wide by 55" long. It's already 24" wide and I've still got about 15 more 1" spaces to make by dropping stitches, I don't know how long the puppy is, but I'm guessing more than the pattern said. I'm going to finish it this weekend one way or another and then we'll all see how it turns out. I've got this hankering to make socks....I went through the stash last night and reorganized so my cedar dresser drawers are now crammed organizationally. I must have spent two hours laying all this yarn all over the craft room and circular needles and such. I put my wooden straight needles into a big crystal vase and it looks nice. I felt like a little girl playing with her barbies or something. (I only had one barbie as a child, and I broke off her leg and used her toes as a paintbrush, so I'm just guessing here. I wasn't a sociopath, just a tomboy that wanted a paintbrush.)

I've got the clappy on the needles, sockie (my first and only sock) needs a mate, I've started my first lace project, and I've got stacks of books and patterns calling my name. Why is it I'm feeling the urge to go shopping at the LYS? OH I can go shop for my secret pal. Yeah, that's a great excuse!

Weekend plans are kind of up in the air, my double cousin Kelly is here in town with her hubby and their 2 red-headed kids! woo hoo! They've been living up in Indiana for 4 years and her hubby just got a good job in Lenexa, KS, so they're coming HOME! YES! (ok, the whole double cousin thing sounds freaky, but it's fine. My mom's little brother married my dad's little sister and they had three kids that look almost identical to my brothers and me. same genes and all. NO marryin' cousins or anything icky, just big ol' catholic families in western kansas where you really don't meet all that many people you're not related to.) They're moving back in December, so they're trying to find a home this weekend. no stress there, woo boy. I offered to babysit their two munchkins Sat. night. Tonight the kids and I are heading over to Jeff's house to do a "project". He's slowly fixing up the house and told Joey he could help him out. I think Beth and I'll sit & knit and make cookies or something. She's almost done with her first purse made of cheapo yarn from Michael's and wants to do something felted now. Ah, that's my girl.

to "Faithful Reader"...
I think Clapotis is a pretty good pattern to move to once you're comfortable with the basic stitches. Though you do follow a pattern, it is basically the same thing over and over with slight differences at the beginning and end of each row. I've enjoyed it and it is still relaxing for me. Some patterns are such that you have to work hard to keep up and can't enjoy the process of knitting, but I have loved making this clappy. The stitches you need to do are knitting, purling, knitting through the back of stitches, purl two together and ssk (slip, slip, knit). You do need to be pretty accurate for the dropped stitches to work, but it's a good "first pattern" project to try. I used the expensive recommended yarn Lorna's Laces & Lamb and bought and extra ball (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED PRACTICE). It was about $30/skein, so it is more than I would normally spend on a project, but I wanted something special for myself. I would recommend either this yarn (which is yummy) or Malabrigo merino yarn which feels the same, if not even a titch more soft and only runs $10.50/skein at my LYS or is found even cheaper on eBay or online. Let me know if you decide to do it! If you want to try something different than scarves but not too challenging, have you tried felting purses? The Booga Bag is a good easy pattern to do and it makes up fast. Good luck!

Gauge Schmage

SO, my clappy is coming along so fast....I'm ready to start the decreasing end now. I made myself go to bed last night at 12:30 and it was a struggle as I wanted to knit knit knit and get this thing wearable. I spread it out across my lap and it is looking like the size of a damn lap afghan. Seriously, this thing is huge. I was originally thinking I'd like to knit a wrap after the clappy and now it looks like this puppy may resemble a body wrap rather than a scarf. Cool. Gauge? me? I think I may have stitched a 2" rectangle of 8 or 10 rows, if anything. I now am realizing why I have yet to knit a sweater that will fit my bod. I bought extra yarn in the beginning, which now is a very good thing.

I'm all normal today. I'm at work, working for 6 hours IN THE OFFICE. It's actually killing me. How did I do this for 8 hours a day 5 days a week and run around picking up kids from early care, after care, etc??? I was missing out on so much of life. I am hoping I still have this job for some time to come as it's just exactly what I needed.

Yesterday the kids wanted to take a walk. We are actually kind of a lazy little family and our walks normally last all of around the block once. The weather was beautiful, we were all energetic and ended up going a mile to the grocery store, sitting at a cafe table drinking root beers for the kids and diet coke for momma. Then we walked/jogged home, picking up leaves to press in phone books. We talked, we laughed, we had a blast!

Then after dinner, bath time ended with a surprise of new robes for both kids. (Target has cute lightweight and SOFT kids' robes for $19.99 now). Beth's had her own big white robe for 2 years and Joey's always wanted one of his own. They just don't make a whole lot of boys' robes. I've not been able to find one, and sewing one just did not appeal to me. We "improvised" on this one. The boys' dept had nothing but pj's and footed pj's. The girls' area had pink, purple and lime green robes. Beth's like "mom, are you going to tell Joey that's a girl's robe?" I'm all "NO and you won't either or your robe AND the new winter coat is going back to the store and I'll make you wear the baby blue hello kitty coat you hated last year if you say anything!" "I think the robe was just hanging in the wrong dept anyway. Yeah, it's GREEN and supposed to be in the boys' department." Beth--"Mom, it's got 2 pink and purple stars sewn on it." Me--"You want the cute leopard fur coat or not?" (I'm not above threatening my children as I find it works quite well.) Now I'm going to find a frog or truck patch to sew on top of the stars. Joey was thrilled. Beth was "the best big sister ever" for finding him a robe. All is well.

They're building a new CHIPOTLE down the road from my house near my very favorite Target in the city! 135th and State Line area. LOVE THAT!!! Can't wait. How freaking long does it take to build a chipotle? I'm craving some quac and chips majorly.

more silly stuff

Here's a fun to-do from Continue in Kind's blog passed on from someone else. I did something like it a while back and it cracked me up.

Go to Google and type in your name and needs...."Christine needs" and list what comes up. Here's what Christine needs...

#1. Christine needs help.

#2. Christine needs some saving herself.

#3. Christine needs your involvement to succeed in reclaiming District 6.

#4. Christine needs to have an attorney.

#5. Christine needs to go. All she does is complain.

#6. Christine needs to be played by an actor with good range as she'll play brat, tomboy, coquette, etc.

#7. Christine needs to pack her bags.

#8. Christine needs to be isolated from everyone.

#9. Christine needs to stop looking at clothes.

#10. Christine needs more than just fast sex and a roll in the hay.

Go, have some fun, you know you wanna.

be impressed, be very impressed...(darth vader's voice here)

OK, so we watched some good old Star Wars movies last night. LOVE me some Han Solo.....mmmmmmm..... I've been in love with Harrison Ford since I first saw him on Star Wars as a young girl, loved the man right up till he got all skinny & freaky looking with that skinny chic, what's her name? Can't remember, but I loved her old show. Ah well. I'll just remember him as Han Solo. mmmmmmmm.

I impressed myself last night. I've been getting all home-makery lately. Jeff is a bit of a homebody like me. His favorite kind of evening is just sitting home, eating a family meal, kids doing homework, playing in the yard with the whole family and putting the kids to bed, snuggling watching tv, then off to bed ourselves. Sign me up for some of that! Well, for now, we've each got our own households, so we take those nights the few times they're available. Jeff came over last night and I said, hey, I'll cook dinner (in a tone that said, no big deal, I do it all the time...) I actually cook like 4 meals. total. period. seriously. I have been going through my trusty betty crocker cookbook (that I got from Jildo's mom as a wedding shower gift LONG LONG ago, shhhhhh don't tell) and a stack of taste of home magazines. Back in New Mexico, one of the bank tellers that worked with me took pity on me and wrote very easy directions for how to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes and a few other things. I've now got my very own recipe box full of recipes. I made some weird chicken with green chilies and red beans and rice combo thing and it was GOOD! All by myself. I even had little squares of cheese and wheat thins. on a tray. woooooo boy! Jeff ate a TON and there was no left-overs, which I took to be a good sign. I put a little red x in the corner of this recipe so it's a keeper.

Just call me Little Martha. My kids were being all creative and getting ALONG. It was like the twighlight zone at my house if you wanna be honest. Beth read Joey his library books, Joey made some long orange chain out of pipe cleaners and they hung it up as a halloween decoration. Beth was cutting out pumpkins and taping them all over the house. I sat down after dinner and knitted a bit, and we were just June & Ward-y minus the beav.

This afternoon is yet another holiday for my son's afternoon care, so I have him AND a little friend over. His mom said "oh, wonderful, but would you mind keeping him until 3:30 for me?" sure. no problemo. I normally get a bit antsy on playdates over 2 hours long, but was feeling all domestic goddess-ish, so what the heck. THEN right before getting off the phone, she said Oh, I don't allow my son to watch any tv, videos or play video games at play dates. I said, what a great idea. Only problem is ususally two 5 1/2 year old boys get a bit tired of each other after 2 hours and that tv and video game setup are my salvation. I figure I'll take them to McD's so they can run around the playland and I can knit on the clappy. The sun is shining, so I'll send them outdoors for a bit too. wish me luck!

MOTHerfuxxer

SO, I felt much better on Saturday. Jeff brought his boys to my son's soccer game and we went to my house, kids played, we ate lunch and then went to his kids' soccer games in the freezing drizzle. Had a blast, but froze my living butt off. Back to Jeff's for dinner, (no WAY was I going to spend any more time in the cold outdoors, so no pumpkin patch) playing and a fire. Perfectly wonderful. We had some talks and some snuggles and I was sitting on the couch knitting on my clappy, kids all asleep, watching Napolean Dynamite (a total RIOT), while getting my feet massaged with a fire in the fireplace. Does it GET any better than that???? nope. THEN I moved the plastic bag I have my clappy's yarn in and something fluttered up to the ceiling. A MOTH.....MOTHerfuxxer......actually, I spouted a few more graphic words than that. Jeff thought I was nuts. I was freaking out. My clappy is being made out of the expensive crap, and I'm almost done with the straight rows with only the last little triangular shape to complete and I was PISSED. After chasing the damn yarn-eating-baby-laying bug to the ceiling where I almost broke my neck standing on the top of the back of the couch and jumping to smoosh the thing, I explained the severity of the problem to loverboy. I didn't explain how much $$ the damn yarn actually cost me, I prefer to think of how cheap the next clappy I make for my mom will be as I'll use the $10.50/skein stuff I found at the Studio. I decide I don't really know if the freeze your yarn for 14 days thing would work for me. First of all, I'm gonna finish this clappy within a few days and WEAR it. I don't want to be wearing moth larvae and I really don't want to be feeding the damn things or letting them get onto my other yarn as well. Second of all, does that really work? Don't moths lay their eggs OUTSIDE where it's COLD? Maybe not freezer level cold, maybe that's what kills them off. Don't really know. SO we cooked some yarn. I don't recommend this, but if you do, make sure it's 100% wool and NO acrylic as that could get ugly. I tested a small amount of yarn in the microwave, cooked it on paper plates and didn't touch it until it was totally cool just to make sure I didn't cause any damage to the fibers. I then cooked each ball of yarn, but didn't want to take all those plastic markers off the project, so I am going to cook the finished clappy after it's off the needles. I sure hope I haven't ruined the yarn, but it doesn't feel any different now. HOPEFULLY any little larvae are shriveled up. The kitchen was smelling a bit odd. Jeff kept saying, but maybe it was a boy moth and you don't have to worry.... I think the boy now knows how crazy I truly am. Ah well. Better he learn now.

YEAH for hurricane Wilma not being the big-ass disaster they said it was going to be! My baby bro and his wife and their two little doggies called in this am about 7am central time. They had just lost power and wanted an update on what the weather channel was saying. They are riding out the storm in a 2nd floor condo built to withstand some level of hurricanes, I don't remember what. They have the metal shutters over the windows and so can't tell what's going on other than strong winds and rain. It sounds like the worst is pretty much over. It sounded like they had two series of storms go through this morning, maybe the different sides of the storm? YEAH I'm glad they're all ok!! I actually felt bad for all those reporters out there trying to make a story....for the last two days it was "look at this house on the beach....it may not be here in a day or two...." Now it's "look at that bush shaking in the wind...." sad sad sad. The big video on cnn.com was click here to see storm damage in action. It was a tree uprooting and falling over. Onto the ground. woooo. Thank goodness for boring news stories! I don't mean to downplay the damage I'm sure has occurred, it just seems sad that the media was acting like Naples, FL would be washed off the face of the earth and then have to stand around talking about what could have happened instead of just saying "we're thankful the devastation didn't come." It sure seems that many reporters are disappointed that they didn't get the big story.

The fun sized chocolate halloween candy got the better of me last night. Finally my defenses were worn down. It's a good thing we only had a half-bag left in the house. woooooooo baby. Excessive chocolate on a detoxed system is not a good thing......tummmy ache........ but oh Lordy it was worth it! Back to eating sticks and twigs and protein protein protein. ugh.

a totally childish cursing rant

OK, so who's bright freaking idea was it for me to give up most forms of sugar, sending me into some freaky-ass mood swings and withdrawl headaches RIGHT BEFORE I go PMS-ing??? Oh, yeah. My bright freaking idea.

Let's just say it's not pretty. nope. not at all. I told Jeff I don't wanna see anyone or do anything for at least the next few hours. We'll get together tomorrow and do all the cute family crap (soccer games, pumpkin patch, giant sleepover) then. He thinks I'm more lovable now that I'm showing a bit more of my moodier self rather than being sweet all the time. WTF? I said "I am sweet, dammit" and only called him a motherfuxxer once with a partially loving voice. I think it's a line he's shoveling but don't give a flying freak. SEE??? my metabolism and sugar levels of the brain are all freaking out here!!! grrrrrrrrrrr

THEN I think, calm down biotch. You just need a treat. (yes I talk to myself, and sometimes I answer too) I know, I'll stop by this other nail place I used to go to for a spa pedicure. It's not the best in the world that I use now, that was on the other side of town and I only had an hour and a half until I had to pick up kids. I settled. motherfuxxer. I enjoyed the vibrating and massaging chair, I enjoyed the hot bubbly water, I enjoyed the massage of the feet and smelly lotion. I did NOT enjoy the cutting flat across with no shaping on the nails. I now have ugly stubby looking toenails. My big toes look like some fat guy who bites his thumbnails and painted red. THEN I did not enjoy the UGLIEST saddest excuse for flowers on BOTH my big toes. Ugly ugly ugly. (I was talking to lovahboy on the cell phone like a good little johnson county yuppie and not paying attention during the end of the pedi.) SO I paid good money to look worse than I went in. nice. Jeff called during my drive home and I was all pouty and his solution was "why did you pay? Go in there and get your money back" LIKE I could do that? right. I went home, wiped the ugly-ass stubby toenails and repainted the damn things. Now they're just sad. and stubby.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I know, I know, people dying in the world, children starving, religious, racial and other forms of persecution....other things to cry over, right? yeah, right. Thinking on that just made me even pissier rather than snap me out of my funk.

I'm ordering pizza, gave my kids POP to drink as a bribe for them to go play nicely and am gonna sit my butt down in front of the tv and knit. and curse. I'm afraid the motherfuxxer word was used a coupla-fourty times today and it's only 4:40pm. It's gonna be a long night.

Fuxxing sugar dt's and fuxxing pms. bad fuxxing combination.

a little bit sore....

OOOOOohhhhhhhh my back and shoulders and arms and legs and tummy and butt are all a bit sore today. Not horribly painfully sore, but got a serious workout sore. I'm thinking that body combat/kickboxing thing kicked my butt. My goal for the weekend is to not be a total slug. I'm gonna go walking and do the normal run around outdoors with the kids thing. I wanna curl up on the couch and go to sleep for oh, about 22 hours. Ah well.

Damn hurricanes. Sure hope Wilma peters out and misses Florida. My baby bro and his new wife are building a new home down in Naples, right smack in the Collier County they're getting ready to evacuate. They just moved down last year, so they've had all kinds of fun.

Damn spammers. I can't remember my password to haloscan commenting thing and their system sends out your password "in a couple of hours" so I can't get my comments more protected until later today. Thanks for the warning Colleen! I should'a called this "Blogging Virgin" instead of Knitting Virgin. cripes.

IT'S FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYY! woo hoo baby! Gonna sit, gonna knit, gonna go find a pumpkin patch and get stuff we don't need. We got costumes at Target last night, there's a pretty good selection and they're MUCH nicer than the normal kids' costumes we get. We're going to have an "adorable witch" and a Dale Earnhardt Jr. in the family this Halloween. Beth is having issues with the word adorable on the costume bag. It's a cute dress & hat. I told her we'd do black fingernails and stick spiders all over her so she will be quite creepy with a stylish dress, aka anti-adorable. Joey's building himself a racecar out of a big ol' QVC box courtesy of Grandma. (Grandma has a bit of a QVC addiction...she got a hand-signed birthday card from them....just saying...most of our presents this year are coming off the tv.) My mom gave me a hard time about not making the costumes ourselves and I just looked at her. LOOKED at her. She decided when they came out that they were cute as buttons and it was well worth the $15 each. I did that crap two years ago and I'm NOT going through that again. period.

I'm working on convincing my professor that since I'm the only one in class now, we should only do classes on Mon. and Wed. and take off Fri's. So far, no go, but I'm not giving up.

I need to get my clappy ready for wearing!!! dammit!!! Back to work, then to class, then pick up kids, OH and for those following the drama.....Russell is moving out this weekend, he really needed to, so I'm helping with that too. Man, I HATE it when friends split up. I know it's best but it still sucks for them. Then there's the guilt of trying to be friends with both sides, aaaarrrrrggggghhhhh! THEN I'm sitting and knitting my clappy and watching the chiefs tonight. later gators.

planets must be careening all out of line

I swear, the cosmos have to be seriously off. I totally LOVED my body combat class today. I know, it freaked the shxt out of me too. seriously messed up. I LOVED it. It's only on Thursdays, so I'm hooked and it's FREE (well I have to pay the membership at the J center, so technically I've already paid for it). The only times in my life that I've enjoyed exercising were because they came with food and beer. Lots of beer and lots of food. This exercising for the "fun" of it is alien to me. I'm more of a softball playing, beer drinking, sand volleyball when you're drunk on the beach kind of exerciser. I had an almost major accomplishment today. I am one pound away from my first weight loss goal. I know, I know, we women shouldn't rely on numbers....pounds of weight or sizes of clothes and all that. We should be aiming for better fitness and more energy and all that crap. WELL, today when I got on the old fashioned scale in the fancy dressing room (where all the really old ladies hang out instead of at the lockers and benches...though it is nicer, the room comes with fat old ladies hanging around nekkid....ick...and they're never really in any kind of a hurry to cover any of their many many parts up either....ick ick) ANYWAY. Instead of how I used to have to go "chunk, chunk, chunk...clicka clicka clicka clicka clicka clicka (repeat for about 15-18 clickas) TODAY I only went chunk, chunk, chunk, clicka. YEAH BABY! I even went to go pee and came back to see if that put me to the chunk, chunk, chunk only, but no go.

Ok, so this eating healthy and exercising often crap maybe does work. It just sucks. BUT I'm going whole hog at it now, baby. Those damn halloween mini fun-sized candy bars aren't going to derail me now, nope. hopefully not. So the weight loss/get into shape 2nd goal is still a long way away, so I'm off to eat some twigs and nuts and then jazzercise my cares away...

ALSO, OH MY GOD I LOVE LOVE LOVE my clapotis! God Bless Knitty!Check it out so far...I have just started with the dropped stitches and it's too freaking COOL!!! If you see me anywhere this fall and winter, it will be wrapped in the heavenly softness of this thing....once I get it done... All last year I was like "what's the big deal? It's only a freaking scarf....big whoop." NOW I see the light. If you don't have one on the needles, GET GOING! You will thank me for it later.

OK Chiefs fans, Sunday's game has been moved to Friday night (tomorrow) and will be on CBS to avoid the brewing storm in Florida.

New patterns are online again

New editions of Crochet Me and MagKnits are up and have some new stuff. I am not tempted in the least by the strange pointy cover collar thing on Magknits, but the socks look cool. There's a very cute crocheted felted handbag & headband & felted flower set that are calling my name from crochet me.

I'm gonna have to start writing at night I guess. My mornings are just getting too crammed. I actually worked almost ten TEN TEN TEN hours today all together. Cripes. I worked at work, ran to class with a kid, went home and worked, picked up other kid, worked, fed children, worked and just put them to bed. The work computer in the corner of the bedroom is OFF baby. OFF OFF OFF. Man, I could never be one of those power chics working my life away. BUT this gives me a bit more time to play tomorrow! woo hoo! Amidst some work tomorrow I am scheduling a Body Combat class and a Jazzercise class. Body Combat is taught by my personal trainer lady who was leading the W.O.W. (women on weights) class that just ended. I'm still no closer to my weight loss goal, so figure I'd better start mixing up the exercise stuff. (Actually class ended two weeks ago and I've mostly sat on my ass building up my "knitter's butt") Knitter's Butt is a terrible side effect of too much chocolate, too much tv and too much sitting and knitting. Knitter's Butt isn't quite as scary as Shelf Butt (where you could set a drink on a coaster up there) so apparently the moving of fingers and clicking of needles provides just enough caloric burn that we just get a nice round thing that slowly takes over the hips and thighs as well.

I've still not given up on the whole knitting while treadmilling thing, but I'm still a bit shaken from my last go-round with the whole almost impaling myself on a rosewood size 11 needle episode..... ANYWAY Body Combat..."prepare to defend yourself. This is a choreographed kickboxing class that will push you to the limits..." Doesn't that just sound like me? Wonder if my limits are anything near the actual limits? Jazzercise, here I come. I'd like to get set on a schedule of doing that more often as I was sweating and a bit sore afterwards but was still able to walk (unlike starting many exercise crazes for me in the past).

So, I have survived exactly four days without real chocolate. The sugar free pudding made with lowfat milk somehow just doesn't satisfy the way a good ol' half bag of double stuffed oreos does. I've also tried VERY hard to limit my processed sugars and white flour. I've only been a total biotch for about 2 days, the other 2 days were intermixed with tears and that blank staring at the wall I used to do after drinking all night back in college. You know the stare, the one where you're only about 2 feet from the bathroom door and have a bucket next to your feet just in case. Yeah, that's the blank stare. Are you sure all this vegetables, meat and cheese is really good for me? Maybe my body is just a freak show that needs its 90% carbs and 10% healthy crap. I'm not giving up the diet cokes, though. The only times in my life I've lived without that vice is when I was pregnant or when I had to quit for the boobie bumps (to see if they got worse or better, they stayed the same, so the good stuff came back into my life hallelujah!)

Loverboy update...he's still there and still sweet. He went through a phase of teasing me nonstop for about a week until I snapped at him and nicely called him MotherFuxxer every few sentences. In a loving manner mostly. I think it got the point across. He told me he can take whatever going through sugar withdrawal does to me. He thinks divorce was enough to help prepare him. silly boy.

how great of a day am I having now?

OK, so I cleaned out the sock drawer. I know, I know. I have like 4 pairs of socks and they're all ugly little white anklets. Shame shame shame on a knitter with no socks....ANYWAY there's undies in there too and about a TON of crap from every time I change purses, I dump and go. I found a freaking check for $100 in there from dad paying me back for paying a bill or something a couple of months ago. ONE HUNDRED SMACKERS and I've been doing a bit too much retail therapy lately, so this puppy is coming in handy! woo hoo!

Also found in the messy drawer was a totally completed punched card from the Yarn Shop & More that is valid for $15 store credit. hmmmmmmm $100 and a $15 credit...what shall I do? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm gonna try to be good and only pick up a few needles I'm lacking. NO MORE YARN. I'm thinking I may use the new yarn from my secret pal for one of those big ol' market bags, but I haven't decided yet.

My daughter decided to work on her grizzly bear project at school, so we only had to get creative on the visual aid (buncha bear pics slapped onto a poster board with various scrapbooking crap around it) and write one paragraph. She even wrote a poem.

If you go walking way out there,
beware, beware of the grizzly bear.
The baby cubs like to play,
but momma bear will chase you away.
They eat a lot and have brown and black hair.
Let's all learn about the grizzly bear.

OK, how freaking cute is that? Oh baby I'm glad that's over. I asked her not to mention anything to her teacher about not starting the 2 week project until the night before, but I'm already busted as the teacher asked the class yesterday and Beth said "mom, you always say to be honest." [ok those of you who just snorted diet coke out your noses, I always SAY to be honest, but I am not always able to accomplish that feat.] I said of course, I didn't want you to LIE, I just didn't want you volunteering any info without need. It looks like we weren't the only derelicks as one other girl was not started either.

Joey's "going to college with mom" tomorrow as there's another Jewish holiday and his after-care program is closed. I am all for my Jewish friends having their fall holidays. Seriously. But the month of October has totally sucked for child care combining the EIGHT days they're closed with the extra days the dang school district has had off for teacher conferences, school improvement days, end of the quarter days... It's a good dang thing I've got some flexibility in my job or I'd be in some serious shit! Poor kid, his version of "going to college with mom" consists of walking into a mostly dead mall to sit in a classroom with me, the only student left, and one professor. Maybe I'll take him wandering around JCCC campus. We can go get a pop or ice cream at the student center or something. Walking an extra 2 miles from the parking lot is always a treat.

I am giving up on half.com as I don't get much action selling books there. I listed about 30 books laying around the house in the "sell" pile yesterday afternoon and I've already sold 5! Not much cashola, but a whole lot easier than trying to sell them on ebay! I'm gonna start ebaying again, but in a while.

I can't put down my clapotis. I'll take pics soon I promise. I am loving it, but ready to have it done and wrapped around me! Jeff said "you're going to have to take a break from knitting so you don't get tired of it" tonight and I didn't even laugh at him. Sweet boy. It's my refuge from the crazy. I have so much freaking yarn and patterns piled up that going through them IS my taking a break! He's working away at my broken free crappy looking cedar chest I got from a garage sale. It's looking very respectable and should be ready to hold yarn by winter!

Jildo's mom has become a real knitter now. She is now sneaking yarn into the house when her hubby is not around. YES baby! She's also told Jill that if something happens to her, she's to get me out to the farm FAST and get all that yarn before her hubby finds it. HAH! I do like that woman! Anyone else wanting to put me on the receiving end of secret yarn stashes, feel free. Knock yourselves out. I'll travel to get it too. Just to help you out, you know. What can I say? I'm a giver.

tidbits

I'm having another boring kind of day. Actually it should be crammed to the hilt as I have laundry to do, work from home (and seriously need to crank out some work), the clutter has invaded again and taken over my life. Normally I can just walk past the tottering piles of crap, but it's making me CRAZY!!! The last few kids that have come over for playdates when we walk through the garage to get inside the house say "man, you guys have a LOT of stuff." and these kids are like FIVE and EIGHT years old, which is pretty damn sad. The garage isn't even the scary part....I was raised by a couple of packrats that were raised by packrats themselves. Not so bad that we save total crap like old newspapers and stuff, but just "you may need this someday......" thinking that helped the grandparents make it through the depression feeding their families of 14 and 11 kids and all that. Well, in this day and age I'm sure I should be better, but I'm gonna throw out some SERIOUS SHXT in the next few days. PLUS, poor Jeff is one of those living simply kind of guys and if we're gonna join our families someday, I've got to get things pared down seriously or the poor boy will run for the hills.

Got a 96 on my midterm, but only a 91 on my project. That's OK with me! A baby! I don't care if it's an A- but it's an A! woo hoo! His comments were basically that I had great ideas and points but didn't seem to develop them too well and I didn't include a bibliography. That's because it was written in about 2 hours (supposed to take 2 months solid work which is why we had no homework other than reading) and the bibliography probably wouldn't look too good written out with "from my the seat of my pants" "off the top of my head" listed. :)

What else? OH well, we totally forgot about Beth's report that's due TOMORROW about the Grizzly bear. I ran by and got a library book and printed off some crap from the internet and we started it LAST night. I'm really trying not to pass my habit of slacking off and then freaking out on homework to the kids, but this one just slipped our minds. cripes. damn bears. I thought we had till Monday, but NOPE. Oh well, guess what we'll be doing tonight?

I'm one row away from the part in Clapotis where I get to start dropping stitches and I'm entirely too excited! I've got a stupid question, so I'm headed for the Yarn Shop in OP. (after working & laundry & cleaning $ AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH screw it, I'm off to the LYS!)

OH, and the Knitty surprises are up. This one cracked me up! It's a sure bet for cheering up a breast cancer survivor out there. I'm afraid to make one myself as since I can't seem to get even a sweater to fit right.....you can image the rest from there.

No hives on my butt, belly or thighs, so I kept on applying (and inhaling, the chubby counter lady said you MUST inhale as you apply to get the grapefruit fat burning lotion working in my brain) today. Things are tingling, but it's probably made with some kind of plop plop fizz fizz alka-seltzer technology to make me think it's working. We'll see. If I suddenly develop thin thighs and less cellulite, I'll be sure to let you all know! (Actually, the day I can try on a normal cut of pants and have them go over the thunder thighs, I will be proclaiming it from a mountaintop. Or maybe the top floor of a mall (we have very few mountain tops around here).

The party is here....or was here...or something like that

SO, GREAT freaking weekend! Friday night I wore a sexy black top with a new bra that actually gives me cleavage and my new jeans and black heeled boots (with no backs of course, I have no normal shoes yet) and looked entirely too good (great hair day to boot) to do nothing, so we went through the preview section of the paper, realized nothing was going on and we were too old & boring to drive downtown where it's hip, so we went to tanners. drank some beers, ate some food, played some pool, flirted a bit and then home to Jeff's house. The dog was boarded for the weekend and kids at sleepovers with their friends, Jeff's boys with their momma, so it was just us. MAN it's quiet when there's not four kids and a dog tromping around. It was heaven.

Saturday was a jumble. Running around doing errands, cleaning the house (or just parts that would show to the party guests), freaking out because no one was coming to my party, picked up Jildo (HOORAY) and basically running around crazytime. On the way to Topeka to get my girlfriend I had turned the music on 93.3 mix music and turned it to the back only. I was chatting on the phone and not paying any attention. My kids love the be-bop crap. no worries, right? All of a sudden I realized Joey's still singing after the song's over. huh. Then I listen and it's "my hump, my hump, my hump.....my lovely lady lumps..." from the Black Eyed Peas. I was like "GOTTA GO--BYE" slammed shut the cell phone and shut down the radio. There's just something inherently wrong about a 5 1/2 year old boy singing about his lovely lady lumps. The rest of the trip we listened to classic rock and old country twang music.

This was our welcome sign at the door, made by Elizabeth. I was all worried as no one was coming to my party. It was Jeff and Jildo and me and the kids for some time, then my brother and his family stopped by for a few minutes, then my cousin (super-Michael the amazing baby-sitting-football-playing cousin) showed up (free beer and free food = Michael's gonna be there). THEN a couple of my friends that just split up from a five year serious relationship oh, about 18 HOURS before the party with the full rollercoaster of emotions, stress, anger, tears, the like, call to say they're coming over. TOGETHER. Hey, is that the makings of a good party or what? (did I mention these were some of my gay friends, not that this should matter, but my poor cousin is this big ol' sweet small town country boy who's a bit sheltered. oh lordy lordy). Of course, there's no one there yet, so it's just a TAD bit of tension, Michael's feeding his face with nachos and as the talk gets more detailed, a few jokes were told and talk got a bit ribald (just a tiny bit) and that poor country cousin of mine was feeding his face so fast it was like a blur. He got up and basically ran for the backdoor. He spent most of the evening outdoors sitting by the raging bonfire with Jeff drinking beers. After some "he said, he said" stuff, one boy went out dancing with friends, and the other stayed with us. As the evening went on, people began trickling in and we had a bona fide par-tay going on. Fire was flaring, moon was bright, kids were running around playing on the swingset and we had a blast!

Sunday entailed sleeping in, (my kids didn't move until after 8:00am, a new record! woo hoo!), knitting on my clapotis (finally) and watching the chiefies WIN WIN WIN, can I get another woo hoo? and best of all, SHOPPING at Dillards, one of my very favorite places to be. Wanna know what stupid thing I bought today? Well, it was either spend all my $$ on a sensible yet cute pair of shoes (I have none) or buy some Shiseido Body Creator. This is expensive grapefruit and caffeine riddled gel crap to slather on your body where you want to lose inches. I know, I know, but it smells good anyway. Self magazine wrote it up a while back and I've been wanting to try it ever since. You're supposed to inhale the grapefruit aroma, which stimulates the brain into buring fat mode, slather the stuff where the grapefruit and caffeine get in there and do their cellulite fighting thing and voila, you're a skinny minnie. Or something like that. Jildo pointed out the fact that the saleslady gushing over this crap was quite rotund, so if it worked so well, why was she so chubby? makes you think, huh? SO I've got me some expensive grapefruit crap. It may take away a dimple or may not. I'll at least smell fruity.

I'm off to knit a bit as my clapotis is gonna be finished in time to snuggle my shoulders when the cold comes.

Editor's note: Two hours after the first application of expensive grapefruit smelly lotion my butt & gut are still tingling. Either something's working there or I'm having a serious allergic reaction.

serious yarn p0rn baby

OH MY GOD BECKY......LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HER STASH!!!!!! I like big yarn and I cannot lie....you other mothers can't deny...... little in the middle but she got much stash......little in the middle but she got much stash.....baby got yarn.....

Ok, so I'm no Sir Mix Alot, but I got some serious stuff in the mail yesterday! Check it out....

Did I lie? OH OH OH I was psyched! I've got a seriously lovely secret pal THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Cute and funny card with witches (what bitches don't love witches?)...everything wrapped in orange and black...FOUR big ol' skeins of Araucania Nature Wool from Chile in this gorgeous shades of teal with subtle shading from light to dark....it is destined to become a wrap or maybe a shrug or sweater or something cool....a BOOK (I really am addicted to knitting books) wrap Style, TWO, count 'em TWO skeins of Knit Picks Alpaca Cloud (100% baby alpaca) in Sand and Iris (gorgeous and SO SO SO SO soft!) AND a pattern to make THREE beautiful lace scarves called Elizabeth I. I've already got the sand on size 5's starting out...I'm getting gutsy in my almost middle age, going for LACE...this is the first try... cross your fingers for me. What else, OH yeah the cutest purse EVER, see? It was crammed with Do Jiggies (cool little dohickeys you can use on cards or just stick on stuff) I got leaves, stars, flowers and WITCHES!, three sets of glittery body tatoos (2 claimed by the kids, I'm wearing the other one on Halloween!) as well as a sturdy needle sizer/gauge ruler. ALSO these cute little floating candles that look like candy corns! I'm going to use them Sat. night!

See, does she rock or what? I was having a crappy day yesterday, and it just brightened me all up. I totally took the pictures last night at 11pm in the bathroom as that's the only room I could get enough light to take the pic. I wasn't going to wait as I had to have that baby alpaca on needles immediately.

Weekend should be interesting. Jildo's coming to town Sat. night! woo hoo! My party will be pretty damn small as everyone's camping, lake-ing or breaking up (not pretty that one). I should have a nice small group and we can hang and talk and eat and DRINK! I really REALLY need a few beers this weekend and a nice relaxed few days.

Tonight I have no children and no dog. Jeff & I aren't sure what to do (well, we know WHAT to do we just don't know what to do BEFORE we do what we do...) you know, movie? dinner? head out to a bar? shopping? (ok that was my suggestion). Should be quite peaceful! Kids are both at sleepovers and dog's going to the kennel for the weekend.

I got nothing

I'm bored. I'm stressed at work. I'm blah blah blaaaaaahhhhhhh.

I'm gonna read everyone else and see what's happeneing in the world.

I did pretty well on the midterm and project yesterday, should get my grade tomorrow and see.

blaaaaahhhhhhhhh

I survived Jazzercise

SO, I go. I sweat. I work it. I think I may like it, but I'm not sure yet. Jazzercise gets started. I'm doing my thang, stepping, hopping, stretching, bebopping, feeling good. I realize there's no mirrors (what a great concept! I don't think I'd be shaking it or doing those pelvic thrusts if I could see what I looked like). Ten minutes in I think "piece of cake, where's the burn in this?" Twenty minutes in I'm feeling it. Thirty minutes in I'm thinking "how long is this freaking class anyway?" The class lasted right at an hour, we danced, we used weights and I really got a workout. I was worried as I'd had two bad experiences in the past. There was the early 90's getting stepped on and then smashed below two clumsy fat chicks. Not pretty. I had one bad aerobic experience also. We all know that when I'm feeling chubby, the last thing I want to see is some cute bubbly blond bimbo bouncing around in my face. All those aerobics queens were also the cheerleaders back in school, which led to pissing me off further. I was a band geek. Always have been, always will be. I don't mind you peppy chics, you just kind of piss me off when I've split a denim skirt or am trying to survive a day without chocolate and you're talking about how you forgot to eat again. I am so nice 99% of the time, but that 1% when I'm not, it's a scary bitchy thing. Instructor, though cute and bubbly and blond, was not intimidating and actually got me to smile through the class. Thanks Teresa! I have to admit, some of those funkier dance moves I wasn't able to do. I've got no rhythm unless I've got a drink or four in me. Otherwise it's just white girl who can't ever seem to get it right and is one step behind (I still can't do the damn electric slide that plays at every freaking wedding I go to. I'm the master of the chicken dance, but always turned the wrong way at the .....it's electric....)

No knitting news, other than to say my secret pal sent me an email saying my goodies are on their way! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO! I'll have pics of yarn p0rn soon! mmmm mmmm mmmm fibery soft goodness......

I'm having a small get-together at my house Sat. night. For a while it looked like it'd just be me, Jildo, Jeff and my gay friends Mark & Russell. Jeff was cool, but just a bit uncomfortable. He asked what time my brother was going to stop by at least 4 times. I finally asked why? He was worried about carrying on conversation with a couple of women and a man who loves barbies. Not overtly homophobic, and a pretty accepting kind of a guy, but still that not quite sure how to sit so as not to give off any vibes around the gays. HAH! I was explaining gaydar to him the other day and I think I freaked him out. Poor little conservative boy of mine.

I took my daughter's girl scout troop to the roller rink today for a skate party. OH I love skate parties. There's still about 4 moms that skate around with or without their girls, I love it, but I know my days are numbered. Beth still thinks its cool to hang with mom occasionally. We did the YMCA......stay at the YMCAAAAAA... I'm sure it will be the "mooo-ooom don't embarass me" and rolling eyes soon, so I'm gonna enjoy this while I can. My feet hurt tonight like a mother bugger, I think I pulled muscles in them, is that possible? cripes!

No knitting accomplished today, but I did complete the project due tomorrow. I've just got to cram a butt-load of crap into my head for the midterm and I'm there baby. Man I'll be glad when tomorrow's over. Seriously, if you're the only student left in a class and still attending and shit, shouldn't I just get the damn A or B without all this stress????? cripes.

I got another letter in my mailbox for "dear neighbor" about the end of the world coming with the hurricanes and now major earthquakes. You know the basics, repent repent repent your sinning ways for the day is at hand... You know, those people may be crazy, but they're sure getting a lot of natural disasters to use for evidence. Between the hurricanes, earthquakes and now the avian flu, it's enough to make you worry. Sure, our government will be right on top of that avian flu thing, no worries. sure. Let's all pray for healthy birds. It scares the living daylights out of me. All I can say is I'd better not lose a bunch of weight, get all hottie and then get sick from bird flu. That would really piss me off.

stupid quiz time, can't help it, I love these things

Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional. You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Your Mood Ring is Light Purple

Clever Witty Sharp

Mood Ring Generator

Your Fortune Is

An optimist is a girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

sale at the Studio and other shxt I apologize for offending people in advance

How cool is this? Matthew's Birthday Sale at the Studio on Nov. 6 & 7th from 10am-6pm. Bring in a hand knit or purchased child sized hat or mittens for donation to the Children's Place in Brookside and the Studio will give you 25% off ALL IN-STOCK MERCHANDISE! No, I don't need anything, YES I'm going anyway! I've got my eye on some serious yarn and maybe even a bit of needlepoint stuff to boot.

The Studio also has a big barrell for donations for hurricane victims! Go through your stash and pick out something you know you're never going to use and give it so some of the crafters who lost their supplies. You KNOW all of us were thinking "OMG how would I get my kids and MY YARN out???" You know you were. They are accepting all kinds of craft stuff...cross stitch, beading, needlepoint, yarn, needles, you name it, they need it.

I'm off to jazzercise today. Should be interesting.

Last night I went down to SW Blvd and I-35 (the north exit of SW Blvd--that totally screwed me up, having TWO exits for the same road. cripes) to the Rime Center (buddhist temple) for some interfaith council talk with Houston Smith and a local minister. It was "suggested" by my professor (class of one) that it would help my grade "significantly" for me to attend. In my head I thought "jeez, it'd be easier just to sleep with the guy for an A" but I'm a good girl and love my man and would never ever do that. (I only went out with one professor in my wild past and we did nothing sexual, chill people!) I was thinking OH LORD more self-rightous Christian people...but tried to keep an open mind and a shut mouth. It was freaking COOL! This old guy is 86, has a hard time talking, can't hardly hear and reads lips and was barely able to sit upright on his barstool through the talk. He spoke slowly and deliberately and though was difficult for him, he was seriously charismic. I mean he was intelligent, witty and funny and much like someone who seems to represent what "Christianity" should mean. I was so impressed with the guy that I bought his book. I was thinking the other day, when did being a "Christian" stop meaning a person who believed in Christ and tried to live in his example and became almost a dirty word? Around here being a "Christian" has come to mean "Militant Anti-Choice, Gay-Hating, Political PowerMongering Closed Minded and if you don't agree with us you're going to hell people" (and God forbid you're a Christian from Kansas, OH MAN that sounds even worse, doesn't it?) I'm still trying to raise my children in the golden rule and "God is love" stuff. In the idea that being a Christian is different that what is portrayed around us. Jeez, ok, enough with the religious banter, this chic gets too heeby jeeby over the whole issue. Damn world religions college class. If you're looking for a book that talks about the hijacking of the faith by the politicians and also gets on the extreme liberals for forwarding their own ajendas and tries to point out some simple clear solutions in a light, intelligent manner, read it. the Soul of Christianity, restoring the great tradition I'm telling you, even Jon Stewart would love this guy.

I'm such the total suburban momma. Walking from the truck to the rime center last night, I thought, oh, what a cute little trendy neighborhood...I would love to live so close to everything in the city..... Then speed walking up the hill back in the dark, I was thinking I was total mug-bait. Some little old lady opened her gate and stepped out onto the sidewalk ahead of me and I almost wet my pants. I'm such a wimp.

SO, what would any good little Catholic girl do on her way home from a religious discussion? Go visit her divorced lovahboy. sure! Jeff was supposed to have his kids all evening, but after a "discussion" with the ex-wife, was able to come to a compromise and get the kids' school project completed (building a model of the MO state capitol for one boy and food cut into basic shapes for the other) he called and said he had dropped them off and wanted to see me. SO, called Dad, kids were asleep, I dropped by. I think some of my favorite times with Jeff are just sitting on the couch, snuggling and talking about our days. Do you remember when you were first dating your love? When you don't see each other for 5 days and it seems like an eternity? awwwwwwwwww. too sweet. Oh we all know I'm a tramp, so the evening ended nicely too.

WHO is this lady???? religion and dripping romance? ick. I'm off to dance around and sweat my big ol butt off. I apologize, I've had no chocolate for 6 days now and it makes me loopy. I'm trying not to eat fried food and empty carbs, and that has just upset the whole planet alignment/freaky karma system around me. I need chocolate and margaritas. Don't worry Jildo, when you come to town we're going to eat, drink and be merry! Chicken Fingers, chips from Chili's with ranch dressing, margaritas and m&m's are all on the menu!

Later gators, or as Beth would say "see you soon baboon" and Joey would say "same place monkey face". Ahh, raising them right.

monday monday.......

WOW, after that big ol' post this one's gonna seem pretty darn boring. boring boring boring. We did absolutely NOTHING this weekend and it was wonderful! My honey took his boys and one of his single dad friends and his kids to the lake house, so I had no distractions. The kids and I just hung around the house. We did laundry, started an allowance program ($2/kid/week) and decorated for Halloween. We also played outside in the backyard for almost every waking hour. In case you were wondering, I am the queen of both kickball and two-square still. I worked on my project & studied for my midterm that's coming up this WEDNESDAY and got quite a bit done, but am still about where I should have been LAST MONTH. Ah well, I've got 2 days.... no worries. yeah, right.

Class notes...this has gotten a bit weird. It is a class on history of world religion I had to take to get my undergrad degree completed (yes, I'm a 36 yr old college student) It's held at the Mission Mall instead of on campus at JCCC. Normally those classes are a bit smaller, just because no one wants to drive over there. It started around 5 or 6 people. Then it dropped down to about 4. A few weeks ago it started dribbling to 2 or 3 of us, but there was always at least this other guy named Joe. Well, for the last 3 classes, it's just been ME. period. ONE person in this class. The prof still gets up and lectures, but now it's a bitch because instead of a group of people fielding his questions, it's just ME. It's a bit hard to fake it when you're all that's there. No one's officially dropped yet, there are still 5 enrolled, so he won't go for the "email me the test at home and I'll email it back" thing. Nope, he's going to give me the education I paid for. I said I'd much rather save us all some time, take a B for effort (I'm not greedy) and let's call it a semester. nope, he wasn't buying it. dammit. It's still really really weird.

I did go Buddha-ing this weekend and it was pretty cool. The Rime Center was a pretty neat place. I get easily uncomfortable around anyone a bit too religious or a little too artsy fartsy or God Forbid extremely conservative so I expected it to be a bust. I'm going to start going more often. I LOVED it! The whole zen meditation thing was so calming. I think I'd have to keep my own little version of religion I've taken from here & there (it resembles the Catholicism I grew up with but is a titch more liberal) but this could seriously work into it as well. The Lama and his wife are lovely and intelligent people and I am going to start going for meditation lessons in a couple of weeks. (anyone as seriously hyperactive as I am can benefit from learning to be still for a few minutes a day)

That's it, no more bad dreams (whew) and other than some freaky "the sky is falling...the sky is falling" retro religious organization leaving letters in our mailbox that the world is ending (hurricanes, floods, earthqukes, famines, etc) and I need to repent to save my mortal soul, things are pretty normal around here. The letter did make me wonder, did they drop those off at everyone's house, or were they just very concerned for my soul in particular?

I also got the big ol' knitted bag from the last order almost completed, I'm still on the never-ending shoulder strap. Remind me NEVER to make flat straps again. I hate them, I am an i-cord girl.

OH, look out world, I'm going jazzercising!!! I'm gonna go sweat and try not to trip any fat chics at Jazzercise! (A very bad experience with two fat ladies in leotards and my clumsiness at a step aerobics class from the early 90's still has me a bit leery of anything choreographed, but those jazzercise chics look too small to do too much damage if they land on me.)

warning, a long-ass political rant follows...

OK, so first of all, I'm feeling much better and less self-involved. I'm wearing my new pair of jeans with the 1% spandex and am LOVING them. These natural fit things from Eddie Bauer are the most comfortable denim I've ever worn in my life AND they're even slimming. ok, ok, enough commercialism here. OH, wait, Dillard's is having its Clinique bonus time right now. My best friend Jildo said they're even MY COLORS, so even though I never wear any of the crap in those damn "free bonus" bags, my addiction continues and I must have it. Every woman must live through these sore trials of the splitting denim, I guess it's part of our destiny. OK, not every woman, you skinny rich biotches with your private chefs and plastic boobies don't have to do it, but us regular women do. dammit. My alter ego "shallow girl" strikes again.

Knitting news, I'm going to start using the navy sock yarn I got from my secret pal last month. I think I'm going to use the two at a time toe-up pattern she sent also. I'm wearing my "sensible shoes" today and they just don't work with the little white anklets (I only own 4 pair of socks and they're not too whoopy). Look out world, I'm turning into a sock chic....

First, all apologies to my little violet friends, and my red friends, and my blue friends, I've just got to unload a bit of political emotional crap here......
SO, wanna hear my dream I had last night? I only remember a bit of it, but it was a doozy. I SWEAR TO GOD I'm not exaggerating here. I dreamed G.W. got re-re-elected. They had a secret election and I missed it. In the dream there was ONE other rebel liberal Kansan and she missed it too. We were all upset because we didn't get our voices heard, but then we decided the two liberal votes in the sea of right wing ultra Conservativeland aka KANSAS wouldn't really matter anyway. I also remember I was screwed because I had forgotten to put hair spray into my emergency backpack (that I really have created just in case). Hairspray was determined to be too unChristian and women were forced to have flat hair as anything else would "encite the unclean thoughts in the male population". It was terrible. My children were crying and I was having to go into hiding in our bomb shelter (our house was built in the time of the good ol' Cold War and has a cement shelter complete with wooden door and old time glass doorknob in the basement). We had to try to learn to pretend to be good little right wingers and fit in and I was going to organize an underground to try to escape from the state boundaries. G.W. was sending all the good Kansas women to become baby factories to crank out more "loyal Americans". They had some weird chemical artificial thing that'd make you pregnant and the babies would immediately turn into little soldiers. I woke up all in a sweat and freaking out.

WOOOOOOH boy. Where did that all come from? Psychoanalyze anyone? I know the hairspray thing came from talking with Jildo late last night about my "shallow girl" hair issues. The hair enciting the male population thing had to come from my religion class, we've been studying Islam and the ways different groups interpret their sacred text and the role of women in areas of the world. The secret vote thing, well, who thinks the man is being up front and honest about ANYTHING anymore? seriously? wow. The baby factory thing? ewwwww. Who knows where that one came from? I'm thinking that's too close to stem cell research, so we're probably safe for a few years yet.

THEN I get to reading the KCStar. The Iraq update part of the front section states that the Bush Administration is spending $7 billion a month to "wage the war on terror". SEVEN FUXXING BILLION DOLLARS EACH AND EVERY FREAKING MONTH. Do you know how many hungry people that could feed? How big is our national debt getting? Does this scare the HOLY CRAP out of anyone else????? Of course, the article is three tiny paragraphs and buried in the back of the section. Seven billion dollars a month. I must say I was not too encouraged by GW's big speech the other night, rationalizing things, defending why we must continue "the war against terror." What happens when the other countries that are loaning us money to keep alive decide, nah, we'd like our money back? superpower no more. I was encouraged by good ol' John McCain adding part of the bill that to get more $$ for his war, GW will have to accept some restrictions on how detainees and prisoners are treated. Tab for wars could top $350 billion. I do like John McCain. I know, I know, a crazy liberal woman shouldn't but I like and respect that man. Are we SURE we couldn't get a ticket with Hillary Clinton and John McCain? I'd vote for that in a heartbeat!

I did enjoy the picture comparing Harriet Miers (supreme court nominee aka cronyism) to the Church Lady that went along with an article from Wall Street Journal's Peggy Noonan. I couldn't find the pic online, so here's my own version. Whattaya think?

THEN I also read about another 6 marines killed from roadside bombs in Iraq today on the cnn website. Enough already. I am an American, I am proud of our country, I support our troops, but I'm getting fed up and tired of spending money we don't have, lives we can't afford to lose on something that sure seems to be a political and financial motive. After all this, my quote of the day is going back to Mark Twain..."It is easier to stay out than to get out."

I've got to quit reading the paper, I swear the things I learn get me all in a tizzy. So who knew Senator Sam Brownback (from KS) is going to run for Pres in 2008? He's "positioning himself to be the candidate of the party's religious conservative wing." OH dog crap on a stick! We just THOUGHT we were in conservative-land. Just wait until that badboy election gets going. Can you imagine the publicity this state will get in the future??? You know, I really REALLY love Kansas, I love the history, I love the scenery, the sunflowers, the rolling hills, the flint hills, the plains, the fact that my great grandparents etched out a living tilling the soil and surviving fires, hail storms and tornadoes. I think I will become a fundamentalist Kansan. Not the fundamentalist we see EVERYSTINKINGWHERE now, no, the Kansan who loved the pioneer spirit, the midwest ideal of neighbor helping neighbor, the fighting for relgious and other diversities Kansan. I will ignore the Fred Phelps, the moral majority, the evolutionary movement and all the rest. I'm going to be like my Grandpa. He lived his 95 years doing good where he could, not judging others and accepting people of all races, relgions, and backgrounds. He taught me that though people may be different, we are all important and have the same rights and deserve respect from others. He also chopped the heads off rattlesnakes with a hoe as he was plowing his fields before the days of the tractor. I'll just stick with the "treat everyone as you would be treated" thing.

Enough heavy stuff, I'm back to shallow girl status. Gotta get to the buddhist temple this weekend to do the project due this Wed for the history of world relgion class I'm taking. It was supposed to take 4 weeks to do. yup, I shine at the last minute under pressure. Later gators. Shallow girl/mouthy liberal chic signing off.

Wouldn't you have cried too? That's not shorts.

Denim troubles....

Well, I have a lovely picture of my traumatic incident last night. I was getting ready to go to Jeff's house. We were going shopping for shoes. For me. His suggestion. I am the queen of inappropriate footwear. He normally loves my silly flippy shoes, but died when I said the only pair of shoes I have with a back on them is my snowboots. I also have one pair of tennies, but can only wear them with workout stuff, I just can't bring myself to wear tennies with jeans and a nice sweater or button down. I just can't do it. SO I get ready, put on a denim skirt that was a bit snug, did the duck walk to stretch things out, got it to the point I could breathe, and bent over to pick up a dropped curler. RRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP! Yes, I split the freaking skirt right up the front. See, it had a nice little 2" slit built into the front. Now it has a nice little 12 inch RIP up the front. I have pictures of this saved for when I'm craving a bag of oreos. I would post it here, but MY PHOTOBUCKET PICTURES are all gone....

What did I do? Well, I thought ok. I can put on a pair of jeans. Not a good idea. Not ONE pair of jeans can be zipped. I only have one sad pair of denim capri's that are pretty much walking themselves to death. that and sweatpants. SO, stupid me, I tell Jeff what happens when he asks why I seem sad. I've still got tears in my eyes, it was VERY traumatic. It was a very loud rip. After he laughed at me and joked about noticing a different force of nature with its own gravity pull, he soon realized I was NOT in a mood to be teased and behaved himself.

We went to Oak Park and mall walked. We started at good ol' Eddie Bauer. I found out they no longer carry the one style that always fit me. (tiny waist big ass ass & thighs) I almost cried again. Good night, I'm shallow...ANYWAY they have this great fit called "natural fit" and I got two pairs of the stretch version in a size I have never had to buy before. Jeff was so contrite he'd paid for them while I was still shopping around. Then we hit every shoe store in the mall, found one pair at Dillards I liked that were sensible without looking too manly and got them too. How can I not love this man when he buys me shoes????? and jeans???? too sweet.

Back to Jeff's house (dad very nicely offered to babysit for me) and we built a fire and snuggled and had a nice evening.

SEE, you people just thought I was joking when I said I made denim scream....didn't you? I just duckwalked this poor skirt to death.

Now the issue is socks. I have almost no socks since I only wear silly shoes. SO, I think it's about time I got a mate made for my one little sockie. I think I can do this now! I found a lot of cute sock yarn at the local shops, so maybe I'll be sporting a new look this fall inbetween my flippy days.

New plan...keep working out, start jogging again (ugh) hit Jazzercise (yeah!) and eat less chocolate and sugar and bread and all things good. eat more crap like veggies and meat and cheese dammit. Try not to kill anyone while denying myself all the good things in life. (I'm not very nice without my chocolate and empty calories and carbs). Where's a good old bottle of the old metabolife when you need it???? Why oh Why did I throw my last bottle away? Just a few people were dropping dead, but damn I was skinny......crap eating better and exercising more just sucks. sucks. sucks!!

OK, YEAH Photobucket seems to be on its way back!! I WILL backup my photos this weekend one way or another.

October 5th is National Walk Your Child to School Day

Well, we remembered that as we drove the gas guzzling suv up to the school past throngs of families walking along the street. whoooops. Ah well. My kids figured no biggie. We were actually lucky to be at school before the bell rang today. One of those "I don't care if both shoes are different so long as there's one on each foot!" kind of mornings.

I even took a lovely picture of the felted crocheted flowers I pulled out of the washing machine this am. Freaking Photobucket is not working, all my pics are gone....they'd better just be having a glitch....crap. Of course I had no backups, that would mean I was an organized woman. crap crap crap!

Maybe I'll have pics again later, sure hope so. If not, I'll have to spend a LOT of time going through the old hard drive of the computer or taking a buttload of pictures. I'm sure it's just a temporary glitch...pretty sure...ok just hoping.

Guess what my son said in the grocery store tonight?

OK, so we're walking through the grocery store. Kids are behaving astonishingly well, no fussing, no whining, no fighting. I should've known something would happen. I get a sudden craving for some of those Mike's Hard Limeades. We turn and walk down the cold beer aisle (we're shopping on the Missouri side of state line). There are quite a few women in the beer and wine aisles. We walk through, my five and a half year old son Joey looks up at the coolers and said "Beer, part of this daily complete balanced breakfast." The other women look at me like I'm Satan Mother running a crack house daycare center. I couldn't help it, I lost it. I laughed so hard I even snorted. (and not in a ladylike fashion) I asked Joey where the HECK did you get that? and he just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, enjoying the attention from all the shoppers. Beth did the roll her eyes thing and said "whatEVER Joey". There's no hope for us.

I was not being a good little knitter, I couldn't help it. Knitting round after round for over 75 rounds of a big ol purse just isn't much fun. SO I started pulling all the tiny little balls of leftover noro and such and crocheted a bunch of little flowers to felt and make into pins. THAT would have been great in a sale. Ah well. I'll just make a bunch and get them ready to adorn my daughter's and my jean jackets, purses, and have around in case I decide to do another big ol' sale someday. SO ANYWAY, use up a bunch of different noro little bits in similar color schemes and they are SO FREAKING cute! I'll felt them up and let you know how they turn out. I used the lion's brand website's crocheted flowers pattern. I can't seem to find it now on the website, if you want it, let me know in the comments or email me and I'll send the details to you. It goes very fast.

I'm off to have some of my complete balanced daily breakfast right now. Those kids are nuts.

Picture time....picture time....la la la la la la la la Picture Time!

I always forget this is supposed to be a KNITTING blog, so here's proof that I do occasionally pick up some sticks and yarn....(click small dark pic for larger version of dark pic). Honey boy took the pic at the beginning of my Art Fair and he's not so good with the digital camera yet.

Weekend was WONDERFUL!!! I got my check from the art show, I got my paycheck, I wrote a buttload of bills and still had a few $$ left to spend! woo hoo! Don't worry, I'm sure living-paycheck-to-paycheck-Girl will appear again in about a week and a half!

Friday night sleepover with one of my daughter's friends resulted in about 4 hours sleep for all of us. urgh. The next time I start thinking of hosting one of those evenings, someone smack me upside the head. hard. They were good kids, just wouldn't GO TO SLEEP and they kept me up as well until after 1:30. not a biggie, but then they were up at SIX O'FREAKING CLOCK IN THE MORNING, and they were LOUD....

Sat. evening I went to a serious mansion in south KC with the honey for his Kindergarten parents social for the Barstow parents (rich private school, not that there's anything wrong with that...). OH MY HOLY HELL that place was a monument to what you do when you have entirely too much money to spend. Pretty cool folks hosting the party too. The ex-wife of bf and her bf were there too, but we were pleasant. Jeff was a bit uncomfortable, but all in all we had a great time. We mostly did the hang in the lower level and she hung in the upper level and switch every so often thing.

Sunday Jeff went to the chiefs game (WHY is it so hard to be a kc fan???? Royals, urgh Chiefs--you'd better stop pissing me off....starting out balls to the wall and ending like a bunch of double A college kids.....CRIPES). I took the kids to the Old Missouri Town and I'm telling you we had a blast! There was an online coupon, so it was only FIVE dollars for all three of us (carload is normally only $7). Everything there was low priced, volunteers were friendly and we had a BLAST! I kept meaning to take a pic of someone spinning or dying yarns, (cauldrons cooking over fires and women stirring with big wooden spoons--very cool) but we were too busy watching everything! Here's some highlights of my kids. Joey made his own cowboy rope by cranking this handle tool thing, Beth and Joey made ragdolls ("just like Charlotte on Little House, huh mom?"), we did the hay maze, cake walks, tried tunisian crochet, and found this cool peg knitting thing that I used to use as a kid for Beth. You have a bunch of wooden pegs you loop yarn over and hook over and it's like a giant finger knitting thing that's long and you can make gorgeous scarves from. I'll put pics on and am all excited as I totally forgot about making these way back in girl scouts or something... Good times were had by all!