Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Sappy lovey dovey stuff and a big-ass spider attack

SO, how's life? I'm FINALLY catching up on all you bloggers out there, so here's the not-so-wild and unexciting details of my life (in no particular order whatsoever)...

Loverboy and I are so happy, birds sing, sun shines, mosquitos don't even bite around us. seriously. (deet spray helped a bit too). This weekend he mentioned that he thought the swimming family party was "a bit uncomfortable" (it was FREAKISHLY NOT RIGHT) but he didn't know how to make things better without causing a scene or letting the kids realize something was wrong. I figure as long as he knows the chic's acting psyco, we're ok. I wasn't going to put up with these little "family" situations each time we all had to be together. That's good.

We went to his little cabin on the lake of the Ozarks for the big 4th weekend. It ended up just being my little Joey, Jeff and me. It was A BLAST!!! We haven't spent that much all-the-time time together before and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go or not. (I was still a bit pissy and starting to have those old relationship-phobias surfacing). I am SO glad we went. Basically, we cooked together in the old-time kitchen, he grilled on his manly homemade grill made out of a big ol' metal drum on his self-made patio/deck rock shelf thing he made half-way between the cabin and the lake, we swam, we sea-dooed (or is it sea-did?), we went hiking, sight-seeing, and ate ice-cream in an old fashioned shop in the nearby town. We lit fireworks (yes, I'm the timid one who was making Joey wear yellow safety goggles and stand just inside the door of their old shed while Jeff lit them off), we sat on the dock, we talked, we laughed, we danced to the radio playing outdoors, we had a little snuggle time after Joey went to bed, it was FABULOUS!

The only drawback was I looked down at something that brushed against my toe in the shed Sunday evening. I thought, oh, it's just a big dust ball. but the dustball MOVED and had 8 legs EACH AT LEAST 3" long. YES, it was a good ol' Missouri Ozark Wolf Spider. For those of you non-outdoorsy-people, it looks like a freaking tarantula but with more attitude. This critter was 7 inches across from legs to legs. It was the size of my freaking HAND. I made Jeff take a picture of it and measure it, but he wouldn't kill it as it was "a good spider that hunts small critters and bugs." I had flashbacks to girl scout camp where I woke up with one of those puppies crawling towards my face along the top of my sleeping bag. EEEEEWWWWWWW Let's see if I can re-create the situation for you guys.....In a split-second, I grabbed up my son, leaped at least 4 feet out (no exaggeration, I could've been in the olympics) all while spewing things that would have made an old sailor blush.....(this is the print-able version) "holy crap, mother bugger, got-tammed, son-of-a-witch, fudge! fudge! fudge! fudge! fudge! fudge!" and on and on while Joey was going "uuuuuummmmmmm mommmmmmmmm you can't say those words...uuuummmmmmmm" and Jeff is trying not to wet himself he's laughing so hard. After determining it was "just a harmless little wolf spider" he took Joey down to the dock while I went cursing up the hill to take a shower. Joey wanted to catch the damn thing and keep it in a jar as a pet. yeah, right.

Once I'd calmed down, scrubbed the ickiness off me, drank a few more beers, and Jeff stopped laughing (he still had bursts of laughter "for no reason", "no, I wouldn't laugh at such a serious occasion" and other crap), we returned to the calm of sitting on his rock shelf/deck thing and watching fireworks all over the coves and lake while Joey fell asleep in his little loungechair. It was pretty damn close to heaven on earth (minus the spiders). What else, oh, right before we left, we had a little time to kill while the sheets & towels were drying so we took a walk down the gravel road and Joey's running ahead picking up "cool rocks" for his rock collection. We're not really talking much, Jeff points out the mimosa trees (or something like that) that I think are so pretty and he reaches out and holds my hand. We walk hand in hand with the light breeze, sun shining, birds singing, etc etc etc. I know, I know, it's sappy, but it was so nice.

So, we spend from Friday afternoon through Monday afternoon with each other (and a lot of it with me and not much makeup and my hair naturally drying (NO CURLING IRON, NO CURLERS, NO HAIRSPRAY, who is this woman???? Thank GOD for Allegra and her phenomenal skills at cutting my hair!) and I think "whew-wee, we survived, he'll probably be all tired of that lovey-dovey stuff and need a break." He called this morning just to say "good morning" and to tell me he was thinking of me. AAAAAWWWWWWWW.

It is nice to not smell like bugspray again. Oh, perfumes, how I missed thee...

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