Friday, August 19, 2005

Holy Beer Bellies Batman!

Sung to the tune of Spiderman...

Comb-Over Man, Comb-Over Man...
Doing whatever Comb-Over can...
Winking, leering, flirting hard,
Annoying chics is his reward.
Look out! Here comes Comb-Over Man!

SO, Comb-Over Man gets in my way not once but THREE TIMES this morning. I'm all happy, driving to work, dropped off the kids, singing along to the Violent Femmes and drinking my green tea. One with the universe. Somehow the invisible magnetic panels in the sides of my truck must have been re-activated as FOUR people try to merge into me. FOUR. I drive a RED BLAZER that takes up a significant amount of room. WHY WHY WHY don't people see me? cripes. The closest one was Comb-Over Man driving a white crappy car. I actually had to suck in my breath while squishing between a suburban and Comb-over and honking and cursing. Suburban lady went half-way onto the shoulder and I made it through with a nice wave to her and a different wave to Comb-Over Man.

Heart slows, more green tea, more Violent Femmes, driving always calms me. I cruise along, get off at my exit behind COMB-OVER MAN!!!! WTF??? Ah well. He pulls out quickly to merge, SLAMS on the brakes, I quickly stop and look behind me holding my breath. This idiot goes & stops, goes & stops again. I finally get smart and wait way behind him. There's only ONE spot to stop for diet coke/gas between the exit and my work as it's in an industrial park. I go around Comb-Over and head into the gas station/coffee shop for the morning caffiene goodness of my first diet coke of the day. I'm calm, I'm zen-like. I even get a powerball ticket. Comb-Over comes in, sleezily looks me up and down and WINKS at me. WINKS.

Yeah. I smile my sweetest smile ever and turn to leave. Images of whooping up on his ass in my mind, but my hands do not beat the slimy man. no. I'm a good girl.

On a non-supervillan note, Joey's first day of kindergarten was yesterday. It went smooth as silk. No crying momma and no crying kid. Woo hoo! He had a BLAST! Got to go to the library and check out two books. Don't you just LOVE when your kids are all excited about getting up for school? Beth's been going since Tuesday and just met her new teacher (the other one quit right before school and they had to do a fast-hire). She's this young energetic thing that just graduated from Kansas State. Beth LOVES her and can't wait to start studying spelling words. I know in a few years I'll have to re-read this to convince myself that my kids LIKE school, but for now it's sweet!

I realized I went around ALL DAY yesterday, to the Kingergarten parents' tea and to a yarn store and a few other places with one black earring and one white one on. Smooooooooth. Not too bad, except they are both BIG and quite noticable. I found the white one on the floor next to the jewelry box when I took them out at the end of the day. nice.

ON A KNITTING note... Oh holy fibers, yesterday I went to the Studio. I had exactly 18 minutes allowed to shop. I'd heard they had some of the Schaefer Esperanza I used for my felted groove bags. What kind of damage could I do in 18 minutes? Super Shopper was I. They have a wall of heaven. Kettle died merino, noro out the wazoo, my needlepointin', cross-stitchin', crochetin', knittin' crafting heart was just singing. I swear. I dropped some cash fast, ONLY for making bags for the sale next month, and I'm going to do some SERIOUS stash enhancement at the big 25% sale this winter. Oh Lordy, Lordy it's a good thing I don't live any closer.

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