Don't Date Him Girl!

OK, so where was this website when I was out there?????? OH MY GOD!(said just like Janis on Friends) I know, I know, there are probably some of these cases where women just had an axe to grind, but OH LORDY just think of the things it could have helped with!!!! It's a listing of men who are cheaters and their stories. You can search by city or by name. I could've avoided the whole situation with Kenny Rogers lookalike of answering the phone and saying "yes, this is Christine, can I help you?" and hearing "you could stop dating my husband." BAM! WOW, not a good way to find out your prospective man is a cheater. I could've avoided a few other icky guys that I just had a "feeling" about so good thing I didn't continue on.... There weren't any entries by Kansas ladies the other day, but they just started hitting the radio station tour and so I imagine local cheaters'll be on there soon. I just thought WHAT a great idea. It's like a monster group of girlfriends chatting about their list of boys to avoid.

Don't Date Him Girl

OH OH OH I'm glad I'm dating my honey now! We have a quiet weekend planned. Tonight he's coming over later and we're watching tv and snuggling. Doesn't that sound nice? mmmmmm. LOVE THAT! Tomorrow we may or may not take my kids to some festival or other. Maybe the Ren Fest, maybe Old Missouri Town's Fall Craft Festival, maybe to the Steamboat Arabia museum or maybe just to the park. Our only mission is to go to Jeff's house and light a fire in his newly refinished fireplace.

I'm just about half-way through the big bag for the sale, can't wait to be done knitting this thing. I just can't decide what oh what to knit next. It's so strange, I'm tempted to make a tank top. serioulsy. I know it's fall and it's going to be cold soon. I know I was making scarves in the summer so maybe I'm just all akilter, who knows. I'm going to make myself finish the clapotis next, but I've got a serious case of startitis coming on. maybe it's time to wander around and see what looks good on everyone else's list of projects.

I'm barely surviving having kids at home with me and trying to shuffle them around so I can get some work done. HOW ON EARTH do homeschooling parents do this? I'd impale myself on a metal knitting needle before I'd voluntarily keep my children home with me every day. I love my children, I love them more than life itself, but OH LORD I love the public educational system. I'm a much better mother when I have a few hours of peace and time away from the munchkins. I think they like being around me more when they've had a break from me too. THANK YOU TEACHERS!!!!!

Hug me I gave blood....

OK, so don't hug me just go get stuck & bleed for a cause yourself sometime. Damn pta. They are the BEST at guilting you into donating time money and now blood. I know, I know, I KNOW I'm glad I donate and am a part of our pta at the kids' school. The workers were all commenting on how many new donators we had here and how active the pta is at our school. It is a blessing, but I swear some of those ladies are related to Hitler. Seriously. They can convince you to do ANYTHING and do it with a smile. The pres. lives just up the street and I love her, but MAN they're good. We had teacher conferences today, both teachers still love my children. Isn't it wonderful when kids are young enough to still WANT to go to school? The pta had a LOT of good cookies donated for the blood drive, so I had a wonderful excuse to sit down and eat 6 oreos for breakfast. mmmmmm.

Knitting news, still knitting my little fingers off for the last of the bags ordered at my sale. I'm hoping to get it felted by Sunday and in the mail on Mon. Then what should I make???? I've been working only towards sale stuff for so long I can't imagine what I should do for fun. I think I'll finish my clapotis as I really REALLY am ready to wear it now with the temps falling into fall-like days. I need to check the class schedules at the LYS's to see what I wanna do. Maybe a few socks. Maybe that entrelac bag? who knows.

OK, so blood story..... I get there, conference one done. conference two done. Sign up for a FIRST TIME blood donor. I get the finger prick and am not ultruisitic enough as I'm praying with my entire being to be too anemic to not donate. (the other criteria were having the flu--nope, being under 110 lbs--HAH, and having HIV or something else equally horrible.) I was mid-range on the anemia thing, so off to the big chairs I go. Before I go any further in the story here I want to state that 99% of all the blood center employees are WONDERFUL and I think EVERYONE should donate. I just happened to get the one biotch in the bunch. lucky me. I go sit down. I tell her I'm a first timer, please be nice, and I smile my sweetest frightened smile. no sympathy given here as she's pissed that some other chic got to go on the first break and she wanted her cigarette dammit. I think great. She checks my veins, I say "oh, they sometimes roll a bit, so just wanted you to know..." she says "huh" and goes on yelling to someone on the other side of a screen about how SHE needs a break more than JULIE did....etc. great. I sit there, she tells me that she's going to start with a side vein and then move to the big one I say "no thank you, only one stick and then I'm out of here." I smile again. she says "huh" again....pattern is NOT going my way. I ask if she'd rather check out my right arm. It apparently has a small main vein that should work. She pokes me. She missed a bit, told me it was my fault as I must have been squeezing my fist too tight. I think it's because she was still mouthing off at her boss about her damn break. She wiggles it into the right spot. I only grimace, it's not too bad. After a bit it starts to sting pretty good, I think, OMG is this going to be this way the whole time? Another worker comes to check on me and I ask about the stinging, it's the de-coagulant, no biggie, it only lasts a minute. Ms. BIOTCH comes up and says "I TOLD you that." I said, no, you didn't. and smile sweetly.

It's now a piece of cake, laying there, checking out the blood filling up the bag, thinking I am Ms. Humanitarian....I am woman.....hear me roar, or see me bleed, or whatever. Time goes on. They come to check and ask why I'm not squeezing a ball. I said what? Ms. Biotch again pipes up "I TOLD you to do that." I don't even have a ball to hold onto. I said "no you didn't" she said "yes I did" I say "NO YOU DIDN'T" It was all I could do to not say "nuh uuuuuhhhhhhhh" and stick out my tongue. I think WTF??? You're arguing with me NOW?????? Another lady gives me a ball and asks me to gently squeeze. I'm no longer smiling when the biotch comes to check (all the while arguing with someone about her damn cigarette break) and apparently I'm a bit pale as all the workers keep asking if I'm ok, how am I doing, etc. Even Ms. Biotch calls me "hon" "you ok hon?" I'm NOT your hon, HON. I clench my teeth to keep from letting any stray words fly that would not be appropriate in a school cafeteria surrounded by teachers, fellow parents and their small children. At the end I finally am done, waiting for them to pull the damn needle out and she STOPS to carry on her conversation. I'm done smiling, I'm done with the whole thing. I tell her, "I'm sorry you didn't get your break, but could you PLEASE pull this needle out of my arm before I pull it out myself and bleed all over your station? I'm getting a bit CRAZY here..." Another lady comes and helps me out.

All in all, I felt good about what I did. I'll do it again. BUT next time I'll find the NICE one to stick me.

the brady bunch......the brady bunch......

First, the knitting stuff. Let's see.....AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! I was SO FREAKING STUPID at the sale. Most of the stuff I just sold right off the table. A few I took orders for. no biggie. They're done and out. The ONE BIG MOMMA BAG I had done in a pretty cool painted yarn that I'd gotten CHEAPLY I totally didn't think and went "sure I can make it in that noro yarn, no problemo." WTF was I thinking? I'm almost making this stinking thing for free as I didn't increase the price because my brain was not working that day. cripes. Ah well, it won't kill me.

Remember Godfather's Pizza? I always forget about it when I'm doing the pizza crave. I think pizza hut, little ceasar's and pizza shoppe. Jeff called and told me that the Godfather's just down the street has that good pizza buffet and KIDS EAT FREE ON TUESDAYS. We went and pigged out and had a bucket o' beer last night. I think we spent all of $12. ATE like a big fat momma pig. It was yummy.

On the way home, the kids were quiet in the backseat. Normally this is a sign of trouble brewing, but they were just being artistic. Here's what they each did:

Beth drew the whole brady bunch we are when we are together and Joey drew his momma. Anyone else think I look like an evil mouse overlord?

OK, Joey came to work with me today, so I'm getting SO much work done, hah. I swear, our district has it made. They combine these teacher conference days with school improvement and teacher inservice and end of quarter, etc. days until it's like a freaking extra spring break for the kids. I know it's good for the teachers, but cripes it's hard on us parents. They've got no school for Wed thru Monday. It's getting creative around here. So far Joey's been pretty helpful in that he's found 18 spiders. EIGHTEEN all around my little desk in the dungeon. I'm just thankful my old assistant is no longer here as she had a major fear of spiders. ick ick ick

Johnson County people please go vote

If you're a Johnson County knitter, please take the time to vote for extending the sales tax that goes to the local school districts. It's the only thing on the ballot and it takes a few seconds, doesn't add any extra money out of your pocket, but just extends the current money that would expire in December. Vote early and vote often!

This is just a Kansas Girl post, I can't help it. This state is beeeeeyoutiful now! Driving along the road, there are thousands and thousands of these sunflowers, my very favorite flower! I'm going to make my next sophie bag in sunflower colors, I may even do a bit of needle felting on it, scary, no? Can't you just see a big ol' flower embroidered on the side of the bag and then felted all together? Gotta finish my last bag from the sale orders and then I can relax and knit for fun again!

My kids are all excited about the new Kansas quarters. They're finding them everywhere and hoarding them. I think our family's all getting them in our Christmas presents, but shhhhhh I'm not supposed to say anything. Beth's making these cool origami folded wrappings for them and Joey's polishing the quarters with an old toothbrush and soap (actually it was his new toothbrush, but it became his old one when I found out about it.)

Not much going on around here, working working working and just enjoying the pretty sights by the side of the road. I traumatized no children yesterday, watched my poor poor Chiefs stink up the joint in Denver. Thank you very much. I have a BUTTLOAD of family in Denver who delight in the Broncos/Chiefs rivalry. cripes. It's gonna be a pain in the arse putting up with them now. I still believe and all that crap, it just SUCKS that the game we looked like a small town college team was against Denver. cripes.

yet ANOTHER long-ass post

UNREAL. I am doing a total old lady "time sure flies" thing today. cripes. I blinked and it's almost fall. It is my very favorite time of year...pumpkins, fall leaves, chili, so guess what people, I'll probably be even MORE cheerful. Don't worry, I'm still bitchy even when I'm freakishly peppy and happy. Can't you just imagine how much fun the people around me will have when I get those fun mood swings associated with menopause? bwaa ha ha hhaaaaaaaa!

So the weekend stuff...I am the queen of the roller rink! Jeff and his boys came & crashed the skate party and we all had a blast! I only fell on my butt once, but WOW that floor is hard! I landed on no children, (last time I flattened my daughter and rolled over one of Joey's hands, oops) and Jeff went to the dollar store to stock up on glow in the dark necklaces for all our kids. It was a blast! Sat & Sun were all day long Soap Box racing. Beth drove well, but is just a little too small to compete, so we had fun but didn't do too much damage, we're putting away the car until spring. They had a silent auction where mom & dad ended up with about half the stuff. Beth got the CUTEST denim jacket with a soap box derby car & stuff embroidered all over it and can't wait until cool weather to wear it. Joey got a basket full of legos, walkie talkies, and other boy crap.

Sat. night I went to Jeff's cousin's bday party. I met most of his family and played some Texas Hold Em in a little fun tournament and had a blast. Drank some beers, ate at least 4 pounds of food, laughed and had fun, OH and Jeff broke my toe. MY LOVAHBOY BROKE MY TOE. I even cried a little bit. He was scooting his chair up and ended up setting it down pretty good on my middle toe on the left foot. You know me, the queen of sensible shoes, wearing a pair of black strappy things that had NOTHING between the chair leg and my little toe... He felt so bad and got ice and I said, oh I'm fine and wiped my little eyes (I felt like a dork, crying over a toe). Now I have to wear TENNIS SHOES as the toe is all swollen and black and blue and has an extra bump where a bump should not be and all the strappy shoes go right across that spot of toe. jeez. I taped it to its neighbor toes and am doing fine. You know with all the suffering in the world, you'd think I wouldn't be such a baby, wouldn't you? (but then we all know I'm a titch of a drama queen.)

OK, so my comments thing is on the fritz and I've just gotta comment on those slug bug wars posts! I'm so glad I'm not the only one having fun with this stuff. Teresa, you southern women are just too cute and stylish....doodle bugs, cute cute cute. Beth, you are an amazing mother, teaching your children spanish AND getting them to kiss each other? wow! I think I'll try that with mine, but most likely we'll be back to beating the tar out of each other quickly. Colleen, you're inspiration baby! I'm a great suv-driving fist waving momma too! Amazing how moms can get that arm reaching back to whoop up on a child and not even swerve on the road, HAH! Tam, Cruiser Bruiser, I'm adding that to our repetoire! Camille, you keep smacking up on that boy of yours! It's good for the soul, and I'm sure good for the relationship.

My boyfriend's boys are now into the slug bug thing, but they're saving theirs up. Each boy has a running total of slug bugs they've claimed, one's got around 75 and the other just over a hundred. Jeff said he can now use that against them as when they are being bad, he'll say "I'm going to take 20 of your slug bugs if you don't ...whatever..." and it works! HAH! smart boy.

Jildo, you almost made me wet my pants! Background info for the rest of you...Some time ago I'd had a LONG WEEK of my children making me INSANE. On the way to Topeka to pick up my girlfriend Jill, they had been exceptionally ANNOYING. I'd had enough. I threatened to throw the next child that screamed, yelled or WHINED out the window. It was a quiet last 10 minutes, other than the sound of my youngest boy sniffling. We get Jill, she asks Beth and Joey what's wrong and he really REALLY thought his mom would throw him out the window and leave him by the side of the road and Beth was pretty sure I wouldn't but wasn't entirely sure. nice. It goes down as my best Mommie Dearest moment ever. the shame..... I finally hugged both children, explained their mom loves them and just gets a bit crazy when she hears too much whining and would never ever throw either of them out the window. shame shame shame.

Linda, thanks for sending your link! You were the first person to recognize me out and about, and I swear I felt all famous when we met at the Yarn Shop! I promise to change the pic on my sidebar to update it. Go see Linda's blog and say hello. BTW, she totally dogged on me....something about my not looking anything like my picture as I'm actually quite cute... hah!

Work, work, work. I know I NEED it, LORDY LORDY how I need that paycheck, but STILL...I've got blogs to read, the last ordered purse to knit and a kitchen full of dirty dishes. I've got no time for WORK!

OK, so rereading this post makes me sound like the scariest freaky mom on the block. Seriously, I am not that horrible. mostly.

Slug Bug Wars

I must have been insane. Why oh why don't I think things through before opening my big mouth? Remember playing slug bug? You'd see a volkswagen beetle, yell out "slug bug blue" and punch your little brother in the arm before he could yell out the words and punch you first? Remember if you called a slugbug and hit someone and it wasn't a bug, you got hit twice to make up for it? Good times.

I was driving along with the kids in the car and saw a slug bug and told how we used to do that as kids, and how my little brother Mike was the king of all slug bugs. NOT THINKING VERY CLEARLY, was I? Well, I forgot that back in the late 70's early 80's you only saw one or two vw bugs a day. no big deal. Today in Johnson County, captial of cute vw bugs, we see an average of 24 each and every day, seriously, we started counting. TWENTY FOUR times for kids to hit each other, yell about who saw it first, double hit for retribution and end up in tears and screaming at the top of their lungs. nice move momma. We've had to change the game to hitting the ceiling of the car instead, but there's still a lot of slugging of the brother/sister going on. I'm deciding whether to outlaw the game entirely (which seems very right wing conservative of me, so I really don't wanna do that) or drive them to the vw car lot and let them beat the crap out of each other once and for all.

slug bug green BAM!

Man, is anyone else out there needing to start a support group for addicions to cnn and other news shows? cripes. HANG IN THERE PEOPLE. It's gotta stop sometime. All this craziness even finally inspired me to organize my emergency supplies. We have a bomb shelter in our basement (built mid 50's). It's a solid cement structure, cement floor, walls, ceiling, could withstand the worst of the cold war scare, complete with a WOODEN door with a GLASS doorknob. I don't know why, but that always made me chuckle. Yup, the Russians' bombs were not gonna get through with the little lock clicked on that glass doorknob. Ah well. Anyway, it's our pantry/fruit room thing now and we've huddled down there during a few tornado warnings. I was finally inspired/scared enough by all that's happening in the world to start saving some water bottles, and buy a freaking hand cranked can-opener to put in there along with the first aid kit, etc. I added matches in baggies, a couple of stuffed animals (in baggies), rain ponchos, bug spray, sunscreen and the one extra bottle of Joey's meds he takes with each meal. It wasn't much, but I felt better for doing it. I should have a backpack of emergency stuff in the car as well, and I'm working on that. My biggest fear is something happening when I'm on the other side of town from my children. It's hard not to freak out and wonder what if.... but that makes me crazy again so I try to live for the moment and hug my kids a bit longer and then I feel better.

This weekend looks to be pretty fun. We're going to a glow-in-the-dark roller skating school party from 4-6pm this afternoon. Jeff is bringing his boys and crashing our party so I'll get to see my hottie on wheels. :) I'm going to the dollar store to get $1 glow sticks and bracelets and the like as they're $5 each at the rink. Saturday and Sunday we're soap box racing with TEAM ELIZABETH as she has named us. Joey's head crew chief (in charge of keeping the wheels spinning while the car's up on blocks between running down the hill). Sat. night I'm going with my honey to his cousin's surprise 30th bday and will meet most of the rest of his family. Apparently there's quite a bit of gossip and scuttlebutt going around about me. Should be fun. It's a cocktail party and Texas Hold 'Em tournament. We're not supposed to bring gifts, just money. Taking money from relatives while getting tipsy, my kinda party!

The world religion class is going pretty well. It doesn't have a lot of homework, just graded discussions and two big group projects and midterm and final. I really like this professor and am learning a lot about world history (which I always thought was pretty boring and didn't affect me personally) and have realized I actually like it. I've got 2 weeks remaining before midterm and the first project is due and I've done almost NO studying or work on the project, so I'm good to go. Little Miss Last Minute strikes again. I've started, but that's about it.

STAY SAFE down there people! Especially you, Miss San Antonio!

this n that

Pieces of my mind today. I'm feeling a bit discombobulated.

#1-->Dog party was a great success. I didn't get pictures taken, there was too much chocolate cupcake getting onto everything in sight. Dog was happy, all six kids behaved themselves mostly and we quickly retired to the back yard where they all ran around like crazy short people. Good times. Miles loved his new blue squeaky soft mouse and is still licking and chomping his new beef bone thing. My daughter was wanting to have banners, decorations, party hats and gift bags. We settled on bone-shaped placemats made from construction paper and KC Chiefs cupcakes. Miles the dog is a chiefs fan.

#2-->If you drive a car with flames painted along the sides, it is a federal mandate that your car must at least be within 5 miles of the speed limit. If you go less than 10 miles under the limit, I have been granted the authority to take you aside, beat you silly and duct tape over the flames. What's the deal with flames anyway? My daughter has them on the side of her soap box derby car, but she's EIGHT.

#3-->If you walk in high heels to look sexy, you'd better damn well learn how. I'm going to start making up business cards and teach a class on how to walk in heels. I don't wanna see any more tentative dainty little steps with wobbling ankles and I don't wanna see any more clod-hopping shaggy from scooby doo flopping feet. Walk as if those heels are an extension of your beautiful legs and walk firm. or go buy more flip flops and forget about it. I saw an 84 year old woman (she told me how old she was, I didn't ask) at the post office the other day and she was STUNNING in her style, carry and the way she just floated along in her heels. Watch a southern woman. I think they're born with heels on. It looks natural and beautiful when done right.

#4-->I'm tired of freaking hot humid weather. cripes. When is that beautiful fall stuff going to get here? I'm ready (ok, not really as none of my jeans are able to be zipped up yet, so unless I want to spend the winter wearing my capri's and having cold shins I'd better get exercising as I've vowed NOT to buy any bigger jeans.)

#5-->I got talked into donating knitting lessons to our school's auction. I donated two sets of lessons with gift cert's to a local yarn shop. I'm a bit intimidated, but my daughter is now working on her 2nd official knitted project and she seems to have picked up from me ok, so what the heck. Hopefully my enthusiasm and love of all things fiber will help this not become the blind leading the blind. I think I can teach anyone to make a scarf now. We'll see.

#6-->damn hurricanes

#7-->damn politicians

#8-->Jon Stewart, I do love that man. He had me chuckling right along last night. My dog looked up at me like I was crazy. My poor poor little boyfriend...if things progress along and we end up living together, he'll have to get used to watching the daily show each night in bed. Poor little violet man. (He voted republican *gasp* because he believed all that "don't change horses midstream" b.s. but seems to be relatively open minded, but is a bit intimidated by the liberal slant I can get going on.)

#9-->I'm hungry and want pizza. I can't afford pizza right now as payday is LONG LONG away and the good ol' art fair moolah is a few weeks away as well. thin crust hamburger pizza.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Damn work keeps getting in my way of getting things DONE!

First of all, I've got too much work to do at work, dammit. Ah well, I shouldn't complain, I have flexibility and have enough to do that I'll never get bored.

I think I must have been smoking crack lately or inhaled too much dye from the fibers I've been knitting up. Seriously. I totally DO NOT REMEMBER telling my children they could have a birthday party for our dog. I do remember saying "yeah yeah later sometime...." or something to that effect. Apparently we're having a dog party tomorrow afternoon. The dog's birthday is in June. We've never had a dog birthday party before, so for some reason it makes sense to the two munchkins living in my house that we need to celebrate the June birth of our dog in September. sure. We're having SIX children (counting my own two) for cupcakes and dog treats on the early release day. damn early release days. The only sane thing I did was make sure the children are only at my house for ONE HOUR. PERIOD. The kids are making dog bone shaped placemats and I'm getting the cupcakes and doggie treats and the midol and pamprin. (yup, pms-ing momma, 6 children, cupcakes, candles and a wild dog. Good combination, huh?) I'm also going to the liquor store as momma's out of beer and I'm thinking one or four would be well deserved later that evening.

I have found PURE STRANDED HEAVEN and it's PRETTY DAMN AFFORDABLE! Where was this when I was forking out the big bucks $38+ a skein for my clapotis (that's still on the needles thank you very much)???? I was at the Studio shop off the plaza and found this BEAUTIFUL FREAKING MERINO YARN that feels like buttah to knit with. AND it's only $10.50/skein with 215 yards. TEN FREAKING DOLLARS A SKEIN. I need to go back with more moolah later. Malabrigo Yarn from Uruguay. This stuff is kettle dyed pure merino wool and the color is called black forest gold and I'm telling you I had more fun knitting this up last night. oooooooooh la la. My laundry is all dumped on the couch as I couldn't stop knitting to fold it and put away. Kids had to pick out clothes from the pile and shake them out to go to school all wrinkly because momma was too busy. poor babies. If I ever finish my clapotis, I'm buying more of this stuff! I'm using the 2 skeins I got to make a sophie bag for each of the preschool teachers that set me up with my Jeff as "thank you for giving me a man" presents. I shouldn't be telling you people about my find, as I really REALLY want to buy it all for myself, but it's just too soft & lovely and AFFORDABLE to not share, plus by the time I can afford to buy more yarn, it will probably be gone.

Have I said how much I love the Studio? OH MY GOD! If you need a certain color of yarn, you call them and they go click click click on their computer and tell you the dye lots and quantities they have in stock currently. I was running around trying to find the noro I need to make the final purse on order from the show and they just were snappy and have it ready for me! LOVE them. Plus the wall of feltable wool, oh oh oh.

Ha! Poor Vicki, I felt bad for you, that Knit Wits is a bit hard to find, I'm not sure of the quickest way to get there. I take I-35 to 151st street exit. The exit doesn't actually say 151st street, it has some strange highway number on it, but it's the exit for the Great Plains Mall. The mall is on the west side of I35 and knit wits is on the east side, off of Ridgeview Road and 151st street. It's buried in the mini mall between Taco Via and the place you go to get your drivers license renewed. I actually get lost in my own neighborhood as well as other parts of the city. I call it "taking the scenic route." It used to drive my ex-husband absolutely INSANE. My kids like it because we always see new sights in the car when going places.

I've decided I'm in trouble when I get older. They're going to put me away in a home thinking I've got dementia. How will I be able to convince the powers that be that I've ALWAYS been like this? I'll just have to not piss off all my friends as I go through life so they can stick up for me when I'm old and nutty. I can honestly say life's never been boring.

OH, Teresa and Sydney, I can't make it to the big party at Jazzercise, dammit! We're soap box racing all dang day Saturday AND Sunday. damn damn damn. OH, I mean yeah yeah yeah (and there was much rejoicing....Monty Python still lives). It is a great family bonding thing, but it just takes a LOT of time and sore muscles. Can I get in on the deals offered if I can't go to that day? Will you find out for me? I really REALLY need to get my chubby butt over there and moving, I'm just not sure how to schedule it into the days.

Hooray for Tuesday!! woo hoo

OK, so the sun is shining, it's beautiful outdoors and I get to work from home today!!! woooooooooooo boy life is good. I've got to go to the LYS to pick up more Noro to make one last bag that was ordered from the art show, and did I say I don't get any of my $$ until UP TO A MONTH????? Hopefully I can expect it in about 2 weeks, but I'm not holding my breath. They have to tally stuff, take out the comission, etc. and THEN I get my moulah. Ah well. My mom was all excited and thinking, why don't you do more of these shows??? Well, because I think that venue is pretty much the only one where people will spend that kind of money on crafted items. Most craft shows are visited by other crafters looking for new ideas and will only buy one of your things in order to take it apart and make it for themselves. So, until 2 years from now, I'm off the show market. I think I will do a small website with some of my extra stuff for sale as there's some interest with the other moms that've been seeing me knit everywhere I go.

Went to the good ol' weights class this am. I was so impressed with myself using that weird looking thing where you support your body with your forearms and then kind of hang there and pick your legs up and down. I felt like a true body builder, I was goddess of the weight room. Then I saw Grandma Moses hop up there. Grandma I swear looked as wide as she did tall (cute, just very round) and was pulling her chubby little legs (complete with knee-high hosiery rolled down to her ankles no less) up just like I did. Well crap. That just ruined my superwoman feeling pretty damn fast.

This morning I swung by the girl scout shop to get Beth's junior gs uniform. I am all excited, she's moderately interested. I wasn't thinking clearly as I was leaving and didn't go the same way I got there. No biggie, right? Whenever I'm in an unfamiliar place in KC, I just go forward as long as I can and then eventually I'll get to I435 which does a loop around the city. Then I get a business call (guess you actually have to WORK when you work on your home office days) and don't really pay attention to where I'm driving. Let's just say I ended up in bumblemuck MO, otherwise known as Raytown. I am not good with Raytown. I get totally turned around and finally found blue ridge road or something windy and followed it in basically the direction I wanted to go until I found a street I recognized. Good thing gas prices are down and it was a pretty little drive.

On 435 headed to KS from MO there is a MAJOR speed trap going on, pretty much from Holmes Rd to State Line. I tried to do the nice thing and flash my lights to warn drivers and realized I don't know how to flash my lights. nice. I have one of those blazers where the running lights are always on and the lights come on for you when it's dark. I'm basically worthless in a car I've decided.

Finished the icord handle for one of the half-way done bags I sold and got it into the mail, so I deserve a little rest. :) I'm gonna eat my taco bell and watch a little tv before jumping back on the old work computer. Isn't taco bell kinda like the white trash cousin of Chipotle? Damn now I want some guacamole and chips from Chipotle....good thing there's not one too close. Maybe after the yarn shop....

ok this is taking yarn too far

From Not Martha's blog, have you seen this???? EDIBLE yarn. The mind hurts just thinking about it. Remember the nose warmers on Knitty a few issues back? Remember the longer version of nose warmers and what some women were knitting for their men? eeeeeeewwwwwwww. sorry. I'm not knitting anything and then eating it, especially if its been warming something that probably didn't need warming in the first place. I would probably just eat the damn jelly yarn to begin with.

Editor's Note:
OK, so I'm totally retarded and must have been suffering from too much wine, not enough sleep and the rest. It's NOT edible, it's that jelly yarn like the shoes kids used to wear. dork. sorry people! I guess you could just knit with ropes of licorice if you really wanted to.

Long weekend summary post

OK, so I survived the big art show. I apologize for all the drama. Who am I kidding? I can't do ANYTHING without drama! Thank you guys for all the encouragement and such, I was a bit pissy lately I must admit! I'm sitting here with a glass of wine, kids in bed, chiefs beating the raiders (so far) and all is calm, all is bright. No round yon virgin's around here, but one happy knitting virgin. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO THOSE DAMN SALES ALL THE TIME?????? Here's a strange mix of stuff about today in no particular order... First of all, after paying for booth and commission and cost of yarn, I cleared about $382. That takes NOTHING into account for my time, that's just for what I got less what I paid to get it. I learned a few things, mainly that I need more little items like felted flower pins, OH LORDY I could've sold a million of those things....Just because it's POURING and LIGHTNING and THUNDERING and cold enough that I wear a BLACK long-sleeved shirt doesn't mean it won't get up to low 90's and sunshiney. woooooooo boy that was a humid day. It was one of those sweated-so-much-had-to-take-the-bra-off-while-driving-home kind of days. (I have a bad habit of losing more damn bras that way...being a half-A cup means we wear those things for shape and not much else) We did have big tents which was a blessing, but WOW I think I sweated off 8 pounds at least.

What else? Oh, 8 hours is entirely too long for me to be nice. I need to either do shorter shows or go and cuss at someone half-way through the day. It was freaking exhausting smiling that much. I traded the lady next door one of the felted groove purses for a gorgeous necklace & earrings set, but otherwise didn't spend any of my money except for diet coke!

HONEY boy Jeff was a gem today. He went and helped me set up, got me my morning diet coke, helped charm the little old rich ladies, and then went off wandering. He came back with a skein of hand-dyed yarn from a lady in Overland Park before he left for the afternoon. It was beautiful and should be neat to knit up. She was the only other fiber artist there, she had some different hand spun, hand dyed yarn and some shawls as well. WHAT A GUY! Do you just love him? I do I do I do!

All in all, I sold all my small felted bags, sold all my med felted bags including two that weren't even done (I have to make handles for one and finish felting the other), sold all but one of my big bags (good thing as I said I'd donate it to my kids' elementary school auction) and have orders to fill for 2 more big bags and sold 2 felted groove bags and traded the one felted groove. I sold two flowery scarves and ZERO of the big bumpy wool winter scarves, duh, it was freaking HOT and HUMID and I've got all these winter scarves sitting there. dumbass.

I personally fed a family of mosquitos today. I have at least 28 itchy bumps on my legs between my knees and ankles (capri pants).

WEEKEND UPDATE:
Friday afternoon--> Another Knitting Virgin Sighting!! Jami recognized me while I'm wearing big sweatshirt, sweatpants, no makeup and a ball cap. Scary, huh? Go see her amazing beads, I'm hooked already!! Thanks for saying hi! I loved meeting you and petting the softest cashmerino (was that what it was?) at Knit Wits! I am realizing I am always being recognized when I either look like crap or stink AND look like crap. I used to think it was just a fluke, then I realized I normally go out in public looking like a homeless person. (the first two times I met Jeff accidentally, I looked like total shiX on a stick). I do actually bathe daily, I just often leave the house and have my day and THEN get prettied up for an afternoon or evening encounter. I know, I know, but you gotta remember I'm barely able to freaking DRIVE in the morning, let alone arm myself with curling irons and such. ANYWAY, go see Jami and her gorgeous beads!!

Friday night--> thank you to Miss Amanda for babysitting even though she was wiped out from allergies. The kids had a blast and I got to go hang and drink a bit with the other elementary parents for the "grade" parties. We started at the kindergarten party but there were too many new parents (aka the tank top crowd, damn skinny minnie mommas and fresh faced idealistic new parents) so we boogied to the third grade party where there was some serious drinking and carousing going on. Jeff and I had a great time, full moon, pretty night, pink drinks, big bonfires, good times. Thanks Miss A!!!

Sat--> knit knit knit stress stress stress shuffle kids to parties and soccer games and finally say FUXX IT ALL and sit outside on the front step while the kids played in the driveway and ran around in the front yard until dark. Jeffie came over and we had a nice little domestic evening of playing triple yatzee and then a bit more stress and knitting before bed.

back to Sunday. OH, I also saw the Kumbaya lady today at the art sale! She was walking up and down carrying BAGS of stuff she'd bought, but she was not drawn to the knitting wonders of my table, alas.

I figure this post will last long enough to count for Monday too, so have a nice Monday everyone!!! Big owners are out of the country for a month, I ended up with a sick day on Friday so I missed any last minute stresses coming my way down in the dungeon at work, so I hope to enjoy myself and get some backed up work done in peace and quiet. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Less than 12 hours to go...

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
that is all.

strange encounter in Johnson County

OK, so maybe I do attract a strange cosmic thing. who the heck knows. I just know that sometimes weird things happen around me. I am driving home after dropping kids at school, enjoying the quiet pretty neighborhoods, cool weather, sun shining down, taking a few back roads to see different scenes. I come upon an estate sale sign. I think "hmmmm" why not? I get up, stand in line as there's about 15 min's left before they open. As I stand there, people keep walking up and dropping a key, a quarter, a squished can, etc. on the sidewalk and walk away. I think they're rude, don't really figure things out, until this nice looking man explains the "marker system" to me. Apparently, instead of standing in line when it's cold or rainy or you're bored or whatever, you drop a marker to hold your place in line and you can walk around or wait in your car. I was a big leaf. very exciting. Well, about 10 min's till opening, all the people come up and take their places, and the place goes NUTS. It goes from 5 of us to 50+ people in about 2 minutes.

Conversations start & stop and I'm always the people watcher, so I enjoyed this lady up ahead of me who reminded me of my wild Aunt Dot. (I wrote about her long ago, she's the "Knitress", a retired high school math teacher with a loud voice, strong opinions and a head of wonderful curly hair who lives in CA and is on a mission to knit something for everyone she's related to--big ass Catholic family no less). I love Aunt Dot. Well, this lady in line is just cracking people up with little anecdotes and opinions. Then a few more people joined in, and suddenly it was like we were this bunch of old friends. EXCEPT for 2 disgruntled old men, they took offense at a comment from wild lady repeating a Jon Stewart quote from the Daily Show last night. Apparently, I was in line with 18 of the 24 liberals in the entire state of Kansas, a few republicans dissatisfied with the general situation, and 2 of the approximately 3 million George W. lovers our state is known for. OH MY HOLY HELL. I mean, this place went NUTS. I kept my damn mouth SHUT (very wisely I might add) and just chuckled quietly when things were too funny to help it. I mean, it was like two ladies were doing stand-up comedy and FAST and FUNNY and SMART, the crowd was laughing its asses off, and the two old men were getting mouthier and mouthier and louder and I swear the one right in front of me (RIGHT IN FREAKING FRONT OF ME as he was the crushed can) starts making fists with his hands as he explains the main lady and all the rest of us who may agree with her about not being happy about GW's handling of Iraq or Katrina or terrorist threats, etc....... are just "all watching the wrong news shows and reading the wrong newspapers" and starts getting ready to TAKE A SWING at this lady. Of course, did I say I was IN THE FREAKING MIDDLE OF THEM???? I decide to get the hell out of the way, stand aside and this other lady (who had previously been totally quiet just chuckling like me) starts singing KUMBAYA.....MY LORD......KUMBAYA.....and waving her hands in the air like she just didn't care right between the two. The place burst into laughter and I almost wet myself. I've never seen anything like it. Every time the old men started up again, it was SOMEONE'S CRYING LORD.....KUMBAYA......OH LORD, KUMBAYA....I just can't even explain it. It was surreal. Quiet little Johnson County Suburbia in the middle of Bible Belt Church=State Anti-Evolution Attorney-General-abusing-his-political-power-for-personal-beliefs Kansas. too freaking funny. And after all that, the sale sucked, but the wait in line was priceless. It's nice to occasionally see there are not only liberals here in Kansas, but also those violets who I'm growing to be quite fond of. (Not entirely red on all issues, not entirely blue on all issues, but OPEN MINDED--phrase came from Miss San Antonio, my very favorite Violet!)

Russell and Mark have both apparently lost TONS of weight by going to the gym and working out and sweating. While happy for them, I'm a bit pissy for myself. I went to the closet to pull out a pair of jeans (as it's now nice and chilly fall weather) and I can't wear ANY of my damn jeans and still be able to breathe. THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!! Though I said I wouldn't buy bigger clothes, I'm cold and want some pants. I'm off to Dillards after class today to find me some jeans, dammit.

SHOPPING UPDATE--> Dillard's has their 75% off sale going, and there's actually a lot of GOOD STUFF still there! I don't know if they've not advertised, or just unloaded a lot of crap, but it was GREAT! Jeff had his boys last night and asked me and my munchkins to meet him for dinner in the food court of Oak Park Mall. mmmmmm. A veritable cornucopia of grease and fortune cookies. I ate orange chicken and thought of you, Jildo! Jeff ate things at the mexican place, sonic, chinese AND the steak sandwich place. AND he's thin. It really pisses me off. After we all eat, we walk the mall hand in hand while our FOUR children all together actually behave themselves, walk pretty much normally, don't break anything and with only one close call of almost wiping out a toddler but missing by mere inches, were well behaved chitlins. THEN the man of my dreams says, "why don't we head into Dillards to shop as they have the big sale going on?" OH MY GOD, no, he's really not gay. I swear. I LOVE this man! Of course, we only shopped for about 15 minutes (all a straight man can handle I think), but still! He picked up the tab on my purchase of 6 shirts (all for $1.99 or $2.49/ea) for the kids and offered to watch the kids at the play/climbing place while I shopped for myself. I said I'd hit the mall with more time and less children, but aaaaaawwwwwwwww.

Also as we were mall-walking I saw that Jones store has its Clinique bonus buy going on, so I'm going to run out to Metcalf Mall before my class.

TWO DAYS LEFT TO PUT TOGETHER MY ART SHOW CRAP and I've just about got it ready. Wish me luck!

3 days till show time and I've lost all sense and all forms of grammer to boot

I've officially reached the "I don't give a flying FUXX" stage now. I need to get care tags, business cards and the website done, and knit & felt 2 more icord handles, but anything else I wanted to do is now not gonna get did. nope. nohow. noway. Linings for the bags? nope. pretty order forms to take home printed with colored pictures of the bags/scarves they order? nope. I've just got to get organized, pick a project to work on the 8 hours of the show, and just give the FUXX up. period. Jeff told me last night he thinks I'll sell out totally. He even wanted me to take the fugly felted mishap bags I created when trying to find the right method for my felted groove bags. He is a sweet boy and is going to come give me breaks so I can eat and pee and other important things like that during the sale. I figure I've got about 20 items I can sell outright, 3 styles of bags I'll take orders on, one small, one medium and one big (just like the three little bears, huh?) and two styles of scarves to take orders on also. If nothing else, I'm really REALLY ready for Christmas with a buttload of knitted stuff to give out!

OH OH OH little miss Knitting Virgin can do something else knitterly and is very proud of herself! yes I is! Confession time....I could never make a center pull ball of yarn. I have had people show me, I have read the reams of entries on how to do this on the forums, I have read explanations on blogs and heard some weird things about thumbs, fingers, toilet paper tubes, kitchen mixers, and just gave up and always had monster balls rolling all over the damn place. SO, here's MY HIGHLY TECHNICAL VIRGIN VERSION OF MAKING A CENTER PULL BALL....wrap the yarn around your pointer and flip-off finger a bunch of times, at least 30 or so. Take that yarn off your fingers and wad it up with the tail sticking out a bit, keep your thumb on the tail as you wrap around and around and around making sure to keep that thumb sticking into a good-sized hole in the middle the entire time. You end up with a big ball with a little opening or soft-spot. When ready to use, pull out the wad and there you go. easy peasy. Ok, so this is totally retarded, but I was intimidated for MONTHS to even try this and was just so proud of myself when I saw how freaking easy it really was. Maybe there's another newer knitter out there that can try it too. If not, just chuckle and remember your own new knitting days.

How can I have flat hair when I have half of Beauty Brands supplies in my bathroom? I seriously have more than 18 different hair sprays/mousses/other crap to get volume and stop humidity. bullcrap. It's another hat day. I'm thinking I'm ready to go see Allegra the hair magician and tell her to just go crazy. I'm not quite sure if that's safe or not, to encourage her to go drastic, but I'm ready for a change. I think. maybe.

I put four noro skeins' worth of gas in the car yesterday. FOUR! I had to fill up my car THREE times last week. THREE TIMES FOUR IS TWELVE skeins of yarn that could have been added to my stash! dammit! At least prices are falling, just not as fast as they should be, but who said the energy market ever worked for consumers anyway??? Yes I know I'm driving an SUV and guzzling gas and not doing my part for conservation and no, I don't really care. I'm going to start walking the kids to school on Tues & Thurs mornings and mapping out my errands and stop running all over heck and back soon. not now. Now I'm just bitching as I fill up the tank.

OH and it was BOG day at the gym and I was so happy! (BOG=Big Ol Girl) There was chub wigglin as people jogged, chub sweating while we worked machines and chub straining to lift weights. The only cutsie-tootsies were the 2 chics in my group and our trainer. I felt right at home and full of love for the world.

Daughter Dentist update: OH MY GOD I love this dentist! If anyone's looking in the kc area for a pediatric dentist, let me know and I will send you details. Turns out the tooth just needed a bit of shaping and they're going to leave it in as it's not hurting her any longer and they don't want to do any unneccesary work as it's a baby molar. They did do a filling on a cavity while there. NO SHOTS necessary. WTF? They now use AIR and some malliable stuff and a weird light to cook it on and it DOESN'T HURT. no drills. no noises. no pain. I was utterly amazed. Beth was back at school smiling and could even eat right afterwards. I'm gonna talk with my dentist and maybe he can use the same stuff on me. San Antonio, I totally would be off the charts with the blood pressure thing. My dad laughed at my fears and told me he FELL ASLEEP the last time he was in the dentist's chair. I told him he was a freak of nature.

Drama Queen Jr

Well, wish me luck. I am taking my daughter to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. OOOOOOooooooweeeeee I can't wait. I have tried my hardest not to pass on my freakish dentist phobias to my children. We brush, we floss, we swish, we visit and get cleanings (ok they do, I'm still working up my courage for the next one in a month ugh). I would rather listen to a whole room full of kids screeching their fingernails on the chalkboard than hear a dentist's tootbrush whirring. freaks me out beyond belief. I can grit my teeth in a very calm looking way and smile encouragingly to the children while I'm a pool of cold sweat. (some seriously bad experiences with a childhood dentist who did a LOT of unneccessary work with minimal pain killers bad bad bad) ANYWAY, my daughter is a BIT of a dramatic person. I know, that's hard to imagine, but seriously. If the child has a papercut, we must do medicines, band-aids, and every time the finger is moved for the next few days there are those "ooooooohhhhhh" sighs. pitiful. She is also quite a screamer in the doctor's office. Now the pediatric dentist I found is the FREAKING BEST IN THE WORLD. I keep trying to convince him to work on adults, but so far no go. Last time she needed a cavity, she didn't even know he gave her a shot in the gum. It was amazing. Hopefully today will be like that, but I don't know. She has a broken baby molar and it's not loose at all. It's in pretty rough shape, so it has to come out. I've got my fingers crossed that he can pop it out without her feeling it as well. I can hope, can't I?

Took the kids over to the bf's house for grilled cheeseburgers for dinner, then helped him install some new lighting and check out his painted bathroom. Is there anything sexier than a man that can DO STUFF??? He came over after I put the kiddo's to bed and we snuggled and watched tv, a perfectly wonderful evening. He even admired each and every purse and scarf I'd compiled across the pool table instead of just saying "oh yeah, they're all nice" and blowing it off, he made neat comments and had good ideas about things for the future. One of his connections through the water/chemical world sent him some dye samples and we're going to try out some hand-dying of yarn after the big sale is all over and gone. Could be fun!

Remember, at 6pm eastern, 5pm central it's time for.....

Martha Martha Bo-Bartha, banana fanna fo fartha, fee fi mo artha, MARTHA!! I tell you, I'm just all crafty-inspired and wanting to decorate and create and COOK even. scary, I know it.

OK, have any of you done this or am I the only loser around here??? The kids and I were at the grocery store yesterday looking at the snacks aisle (the little debbie ho-ho's and such) when one of the moms of Beth's friends came by with her kids and they asked to have snacks. The mom made a face and I said "oh, honeys, we'll just make our own snacks at home, they're so much better than these." and the other mom agreed and used that too. My kids looked at me like "WTF woman?" and we snuck back and loaded up on the nutty bars and ding-dong/ho ho things when the other mom was gone. The other mom actually DOES make her own snacks and trail mix and cookies and such. so sad. I think I may actually have the kids help me make some cookies this weekend. snickerdoodles.....mmmmmmmm.....chocolate chips mmmmmmmmmmm

my accomplishments of the day

#1 Got to the gym for the women on weights class even though I was having a bad hair and bad attitude and tired morning.

#2 Not only did not fall down when running backwards on the track but was able to SPRINT the straights backwards and was not the poor slow chubby last by a mile one today! woooo hooooo

#3 Followed my resolution that I shouldn't be hating all those damn pretty rich skinny mommas with big hooters. That's not very nice or very healthy of me. So instead, I just really really really really really disliked them strongly. Except for one chicadee who is built like me but without the extra 40 lbs of chub on her lower half. She actually frightened me a bit, doing one-armed and then one-footed pushups and jumping rope like a robot. The first time I looked at her I thought, that could be me in a little while, then she started the pushups and I went "daaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnnnn" and thought, probably not in this lifetime.

That's it. only 3. sad, huh?

Ragweed's in full bloom in the midwest. How're you doin? sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff achOOOO achOOOO achOOOO

Off to work & knit & read blogs. All in all, not a bad day planned.

ALERT ALERT ALERT beep beep be beeep be beep beep
Martha's Back on TV each and every day!!!! It's on TLC (the learning channel) at 6pm eastern time. I was all excited yesterday and set up the vcr and forgot that I'm an idiot, so I recorded some other damn show instead of the first day of my Martha!!! dammit! SO today I've got things fixed. 5pm Central time, here I come!! I do love my Martha.

sung to the tune of "Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine"

Well, it's Sunday morning'
and my tummy's gurglin.
I'm full of burrito bowls,
guacamole, beans and rice.
Even sucked down spicy salsa
I can't stop fartin'.
I had too much Chipotle last night.....

Oh Chipotle, you are a friend of mine.
I love your guac and chips made fresh daily with lime.
Ah those burrito bowls, I scarf each and every bite.
You're my friend,
Your'e the best,
Mi amigo........

OK, so my apologies to Shelley West, I had my share of Sunday mornings bleary eyed and woozy from too many Jose Cuervo's and sang the real song (or whatever words I could remember at the time) many many many times.

So, I had a Chipotle disaster. Before this weekend, I hadn't had it for OVER A MONTH. Yes, my true addiction (third only to yarn and chocolate) was denied to me by a bad tummy experience. I ate lunch on the run from work to class and grabbed a hot dog at a Quick Trip wanna-be kind of gas station. It was a bad idea. think Big Bubba Butt germs or something. I think someone must have coughed on them or not washed their hands or something nasty as I wasn't feeling all that great. I never knew there was a Chipotle right around the corner from Borders, saw one, HAD to eat there, (remember I wasn't able to make it more than 2 days without filling up my salsa jones then) so I ate my regular BIG ASS chicken burrito bowl with guacamole, chips and diet coke. mmmmmm. BUT the bad lunch and spicy dinner combo ended with me barfing for most of the night. Then, just like Pavlov's dogs (remember psychology 101? the dogs drooled when they heard the bell ring from repetition and association or something like that?) well each time I smelled Chipotle, I wanted to hurl. OH MY HOLY HELL. It was horrible. I was greatly saddened. No, I really DON'T have a life that this stuff affects me so deeply. You should know that by now. ANYWAY, for the first time in a month and a half, Chipotle smelled ok. I walked in, tentatively ate a few bites, and it was heaven! I'M BACK BABY!!! (as George Costanza would say)

OH, and knitting my ASS off, cranked out 4, count them ONE TWO THREE FOUR, more bumpy schafer knit scarves. 6 days to go till sale day.

Survived big misunderstanding #1, or as I like to refer to it, BM#1 (OK, so I'm a total bathroom humor chic today, can't help it, I'm a dork) with the boyfriend. wooooooooooh boy. Not a big blowup, just both of us feeling cruddy and me being all weepy for a day or two and him not knowing why or what to do. PLUS we were both busy ourselves with work (yes I do occasionally put in a few hours) my class, and soccer schedules from HELL with the kids, playdates, etc. We finally spent a little time together and got everything straightened out. I love this man. He's so freaking gentle and concerned and hot & sexy too. mmmmm mmmmmm boy. PLUS he is fixing up my garage sale freebie cedar chest so I have a good place for my yarn.

I'm off to work, to class, back to work, to read blogs, to knit, to pick up kids......and somehow, I'm thinking a steak burrito bowl or maybe their new chicken salad is calling my name.......

this n that

Thanks for the go daddy recommendation. I'm checking it out and think it'll be perfect and save me time & money! I'm going to try to get organized enough to have it up and running by Monday.

What else? Yesterday I survived the hardest W.O.W. workout (women on weights) yet. We worked our living butts off. I pumped weights, I did the stinking balancing on a ball while lifting weights thing and even the dreaded standing on the half-ball on the ground while lifting weights and trying not to go flying off thing. We took "breaks" to run laps. woooo boy. Then we ran backwards on the straights and jogged the curves. more weights, then JUMP ROPING for 5 minutes then "sprinting" or in my case "sprint ladies, or Christine, just as fast as you can make it, ok?" cripes. Then "sasheying" then more backwards running. Did I mention I am not only out of shape, but unbelievably uncoordinated? My sashey's looked pretty much like a drunk cow but I didn't fall down this time when running backwards. Seriously, if this were a playground, this 36 yr old woman would be the dork chosen last. after the really fat kid picking his nose.

I've survived 4 days of eating mostly healthy. 4 whole days....didn't I start a few weeks before this? well, yes. I even did the sensible "remove temptation from the house" thing. No more double-stuff oreos in the house, no m&m's, no chocolate chip cookies or other goodies. SO, you think this would help, huh? This resulted in a craving so consuming that it ended with late-night tv, a big spoon, jar of peanut butter and half a bag of chocolate chips found in the way back of the fridge. uggggghhhhhh. I felt like one of those Lifetime shows' alcoholic momma's drinking up all the vanilla extract or something. ick. I think I'd better just buy some damn double stuff oreo's and try to behave myself by having TWO or THREE when the craving hits, as the denial and then satisfaction of the big craving can be a bitch.

OK knitting world, I'm almost afraid to ask this with the big show in a week. I know you can't sell items made from free patterns at a craft show. Can you sell items made from a pattern you have purchased? Or do I still need individual permission from the designers? Most of what I have is my own design, but I have a few things I'd like to sell that I bought the original pattern to make and can give credit to them on the items. Any ideas? I know you can't use patterns that specifically say "do not sell" listed on it, but what if it doesn't say anything? Also, how did I freaking miss that the new knitty's up??? OOOOOOhhhhhh I'm going to find a pattern JUST FOR ME after next week that I can start on. Can't wait, gotta go check out the fall issue NOW!

TIP FOR THE DAY..... If you go to Quick Trip or some other convenience store for a soft drink, make sure to pick a lid from the MIDDLE of the stack. Don't get the first one there. Just don't do it. I was behind Big Bubba this morning for the ritual first diet coke of the day. Big Bubba proceeded to start coughing up a lung, wiped his hand on his dirty jeans and then decided while there, why not scratch his butt. THEN Big Bubba accidentally picked up two lids, coughed again, THEN put the other nasty-ass butt-and-cough-germ-covered lid back on the shelf for the next unsuspecting person to come along and get. I did my patriotic duty and threw it and the next few lids touching that one into the trash, then picked my lid from the middle of the damn stack. ICK ICK ICK Don't start your day with Big Bubba Butt germs.

9 days of knitting left....

OH HOLY HELL. I've finally decided there's no freaking way to get ready for this stinking art show. None. What the FUXX was I thinking??? I've decided to display the crap I've got, take orders and if nothing else, I'll have a nice little table to sit at and knit from 11am to 7pm on Sunday the 18th. I'll have a website up soon with pics of my purses and scarves I'm selling so that if someone actually buys something, they can refer to it and send me more moolah for additional stuff. I thought it'd be more professional-like. I decided not to use my actual company name of "Treasure Goddess Creations" on the sign at the art show since it's a Jewish Festival and they probably frown on the whole Goddess thing in the midst of a religious festival promoting the arts and food and history of their traditional beliefs. I think I have something totally uninspired like "Christine's Hand Knit Creations" boooorrrrrinnggggg. Ah well. (see, before I was the Knitting Virgin, I was the Treasure Goddess, designing cross stitch & beading kits and painting needlepoint canvases. creativity just oozes from my pores. It can get a bit stinky sometimes with the sweat of stressing out over cranking out more more more ideas to meet goals that were too high and lofty in the first damn place...good thing I've never changed huh?) My goal for this next week is to get tags made for the inside of the bags, little business cards with the website and care instructions for taking care of my creations, knit a few more samples, OH and get a website up and running. no biggie, huh? I've already got the domain name of www.treasuregoddess.com (actually it's been under construction for about 3 years now) but I've got no where to host it. Anyone got a good cheap company to recommend for hosting a marginally business-like site? cheap? If not I'll go googling.

Here's some info on the Art Festival. There is an admission fee of either $5 or $7 and the center is charging a 20% fee to all the artists to support some artistic charity or other, so if anyone is interested in getting one of my stylish bags or funky scarves, just check out the website once it's up and running next week and let me know and that way you won't have to pay extra $$ for it. It is a fun festival, so if you want to go see lots of artsy-fartsy stuff, hear good music and eat eat eat eat eat and EAT, come by. It's right next to the Sprint complex in Overland Park, KS and you can say howdy to me.

So, last night, my daughter Beth and I are walking across the basement to go upstairs for bed when we see a spider so big it casts a shadow. a big shadow. I tell her to keep an eye on it and I go for a shoe. I shwack the thing, miss it and it freaking DISAPPEARS. In half an instant we're both standing on top of the pool table. regulation size (BIG ASS) pool table. She's freaking out, saying she will "never ever ever ever ever.....ever come back downstairs until that thing is gone!" I say "Oh, honey, that spider is more afraid of us than we are of him." She says "Mom, then why are we both standing on top of the pool table?" smart girl. The dog cornered the spider this morning before breakfast where I was able to schwack it three times with a rolled up magazine. THREE TIMES until it quit moving! It wasn't as big as that freaking HUGE wolf spider at Jeff's lake house shed, but it was the biggest damn spider we've seen in the basement here. ick. I've got goosebumps just remembering it. eeewwwwww.

Goodbye Bob Denver, you always made us smile.

Well, I survived the lake

I am not really a lake girl. I am a girl who occasionally goes to the lake. period. I'm not up for the sweating and tics and mosquitos and smelly water and stuff. I like to drink beer, drive seadoo's, fish a bit (without touching a fish or a minnow of course), relax, watch the kids swim around going crazy and drink beer. If I get a tan out of the deal that's ok too. I had my moments where I was thinking "WHAT THE FUXX WAS I THINKING" bringing Jeff and his two boys and me and my two kids to meet my parents at their lake house THREE HOURS away. It had its moments of pouty kids and grumpy parents, but for the most part we enjoyed life. THE BEST PART was that my daughter, little Elizabeth, wearing all things pink and with cute hair no less (very girly this weekend, must have been to make up for all the little testosterone-to-be floating in the air with all the boys) opened up a can of FISHING WHOOPASS on those boys. We went trolling (in a boat very slow with lines dragging along behind) (Trolling to me was what guys did in the college bars around 1:30am, trolling for the drunkest chics). ANYWAY, I went along to get some knitting done. After enduring all the cracks about how girls are bad luck on fishing expeditions (good ol' dad, sticking up for Beth saying that his mother and sisters were always the best fishermen in his family). WHO catches the fish????? Jeff's boys spouting off about what lures work best, girls can't fish, etc.??? NOPE my baby girl. Grandpa caught 3 little baby fishes not much bigger than the lures, Beth caught FOUR keeper white bass. FOUR baby. bang. bang. bang. bang. Jeff's boys? zilcho. Now, I'm not one to be mouthy and "I told you so..." ok, so I really am. But that day I was sympathetic and listened to the excuses of how their lures were actually bumping along the bottom of the lake or the wrong color or the wrong side of the boat and just nodded sagely. Quietly Beth and I did the girl power hand bump thing. yeah baby. My mom was all excited too but was a bit less politically correct about it. There was some OH YEAH GIRL... Good times.

I also finished two more purses ready for felting. I've FINALLY sent off my secret pal gift, hope she likes it. I LOVED it, but then I'm pretty easy to please. :)

Got to run, OH I also learned this morning that if you sign up for a free pilates class, GO PEE FIRST. You work and work and work those muscles until I almost wet myself. cripes. Loved the class, didn't love the price tag of $10/class. I think I'll just head over to jazzercise or do the free yoga classes at the center I belong to.

a somber post

I've watched too much cnn, or as Jeff's grandpa calls it "the c n and n". That's what it is to me now. It somehow sounds better that way, kind of like an old fashioned grocery store where everyone knows your name and the bag boys carry your bags to the car for you. Soothing. 1950's era patriotic, good citizen, Ward & June Cleaver kind of era.

God bless all those people down there. First of all, kudos to the Mississippi victims pulling together, helping one another, NOT SHOOTING AT RESCUERS. WTF is that? All our hearts go out to those people down south. Devastation can bring out the best in some people and in others the worst. It's horrifying to see. I can't read any more cn&n blog entries from journalists, I can't watch any more tv. I signed up to give blood. I know that doesn't help anyone down there now, but it's something I can do here for the greater good (and I have a HUGE dislike of needles, so that's a biggie for me) and it shows my children that there are things we can do to help people in need. We counted up the change the kids had and sent half to the red cross with some bucks from me as well. We added all the victims in our prayers. We talked about how lucky we are and how people help people. PEOPLE HELP PEOPLE. I left off the whole SOME people shoot at doctors, hospitals, rescue helicopters thing from the bedtime story. cripes.

Good luck to the national guard and police and rescue workers and citizens just trying to help. I just can't deal with all this third world country crap in our own land. It truly makes you thankful for what you have.

I'm going to pack for the lake trip this weekend. I'm going to hug my babies and love my man and enjoy my parents and knit and eat and fish and hide from reality in the backhills of Missouri. I will probably still watch the damn cn&n too, but not so much. I had to force myself to turn the tv off when I realized I was watching the same little lady with a blindfold on floating by on an airmattress followed by the same looters bashing in a store window every 4 minutes on a repeating cycle. That much repetition of bad images can black out the sunshine in your soul. Watch a little, thank whatever God you pray to for the good things in your life and to help those in need and turn off the damn tv and go sit in the sunshine for a while.

Later in the morning:
OK, so I went back to the cn&n this morning and listened to an interview with New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and was very inspired. It sounds like he's a good man working his butt off to save lives and help those that need it. He was blatantly honest, may or may not be in hot trouble with his political peers, but POWER TO THAT MAN. He said what needed to be said and I'd vote for the man if I was able. Heck I'd vote a couple-of times for that man. Seriously, it's amazing how many people ARE working together down there. Lets hope getting the troops involved will help get people safe, fresh water, food and comfort. The actual interview is on the cnn homepage, I can't link directly to it, but here's the transcript. If you have the chance, listen to the actual interview as the emotion and frustration and hope and fear all come through so powerfully that it really is an experience. The end of the transcript doesn't show the choked up voices of the two men talking. I feel it is a positive message overall. They're just still trying to save lives.

To the politicians, don't look for blame, don't look for fame. Stop the press conferences and bs and just get these people some help.

I'm off to hug my babies and start stockpiling water. I know it goes bad after a while, I know a natural disaster would most likely wipe out the little plastic bottles anyway, but it makes me feel better. I don't even want to think about the fact that most of my son's medication would not be available. Can you imagine not just healthy people in need down there but those needing medication to live? oh. I've got to stop. I'm going to go hug someone and since I'm still down in this damn dungeon office with just me & bossman, it's about time to leave and find someone I can hug. now. you. go hug someone too. now. but not your bossman either. that's just wrong.

Editor's rant:
This was totally not meant to be a liberal political post blaming the administration. There's no way to blame anyone for something this huge. I'm just saying let's get what these people need NOW and not worry about the political ramifications until everyone's safe. You people that emailed me nasty sentiments GET OVER YOURSELVES, spend that time sending money to the red cross or PRAYING for someone instead of worrying about some opinionated chic in Kansas for God's sake. Plus, you don't get invited to my lake house. na na na naaaaaa naaaaaaa. See, I can be petty and immature too. For the love of all that is holy, I've only had the post up here for a couple of hours. What, do you people sit around googling for anti-whatever-you-believe-is-sacred sentiments here and have a little evil emailing empire going or what? PRAY for someone and help someone and BE NICE. YOU don't go hug someone. Everyone NORMAL and NICE, go hug someone.

cripes

Lest we forget this is a KNITTING blog...

Editor's note: I totally forgot the BEST part of the knitting package! I got Knitticisms, that FUNNY book filled with cool retro pics and little sayings and such!!! I had it in my purse immediately after opening the package, so it didn't make it into the picture, thanks secret pal!

Happy Dance! Secret Pal goodies arrived and I mean this chic knows her stuff! I LOVE IT!! I even love the bag and card! (My photo is not the best, so you'll have to look closely it's covered in butterflies and the card is now my daughter's property!) Let's see, COOL sheep tape measure (I'm ALWAYS freaking looking for a tape and hate to roll those old sewing tapes up!) Lotion that smells yummy, rose salve for healing all those little yarn/paper cut things I get on my fingers (LOVE LOVE LOVE that stuff), 3 skeins of very cool German washable sock yarn and THREE patterns including one for knitting two toe up socks at the SAME TIME (so maybe my feet will EACH have a sock this way--my lonely sockie still has no mate created), and my very favorite part is the cool little notepad with the C! It looks so early 1960's retro chic. THANK YOU!!! I love that my secret pal sends yarn AND patterns! I can just sit and knit!

Here's proof that I've actually been knitting my little fingers to the bone:
first pic is completed items in the last week and a half and the 2nd pic is what's on needles right now. BTW, kraft mac & cheese boxes make VERY good drying forms for small felted purses. It's my box of choice. Click the baby pics to see bigger pics.



Still loving my religion class through JCCC. I may just get myself graduated by December! Nothing like a 37 year old graduate, huh? By the time I get my teaching certificate, I'll be a 39 year old looking for a job. cripes.

A blue-hair flipped me the bird yesterday afternoon. An older lady with actual blue hair stuck flipped me off. WTF? I am the champion of old people. Old people love me. I'm an old soul in an almost-middle-aged body. Driving along, minding my own business, windows down, air conditioning on, music up, singing along to meatloaf "will you love me?.....will you love me forever, do you need me? will you never leave me? will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? will you take me away? will you make me your wife? I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW.....BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER DO YOU LOVE ME????? WILL YOU LOVE ME FOREVERRRRRRRR" [OK I apologize, I had to get that out of my system. now may you all be cursed by having that song in YOUR heads all damn day!] ANYWAY, there's some road construction up ahead, lanes merge, I slow to let Grandma Moses in ahead of me as any nice young person would do. She won't go. She slows down. I slow down. You know the story. I finally stop and wave her in. She FLIPS ME OFF. and mouths something to boot. nice one granny. I turn up the music, go off singing my song. "I'll never break my promise or forget my vow....but God only knows what I can do right now, I'm praying for the end of time....it's all that I can do ooooo ooooooo...praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you......" It was long ago and it was far away and it was so much better than it is today......EVERYBODY SING!!!!

I'm sure I probably missed a few words there, but I've got a serious case of lyricosis. My old boyfriend from college was a total perfectionist and I used to drive him insane. I remember one time Jildo and I were driving to KC with Deaner (his fraternity nickname) and we were in rare form. He was pissy at me for some reason or other (he was ALWAYS pissy with me) and I'd told Jill how much it pissed him off when I got words wrong on songs so when the song "Big Ol Jet Airliner..." came on the radio, we both belted out "Big ol jet had a light on....." like nothing was wrong. I think I almost wet my pants that day trying not to laugh. I've never seen a man get so red that he turned purple before. Ah Jildo, those were the good ol' days! We haven't pissed anyone off or caused any fights in years. 7 foot tall O.U. Basketball stars, army and navy rotc guys, tke's vs. well everyone, man when did we get old and boring?

Also, Miss San Antonio, I almost snorted a cheerio out of my nose this morning when I saw you were Bill Clinton on the quiz. That's the most appropriate thing I've head yet this am miss Violet!