Friday, April 15, 2005

True tales of preschool drama

First the knitting bit. My Felted Groove 2 is about the butt-ugliest thing I've seen. I'm NOT too pleased with the variageted yarn I am using, but want to test out my pattern changes & felt it and so I should have it ready for the washing machine tonight. Cross your fingers... I had a pic, but my laptop decided to not behave itself, so no pics today.

Each child at my son's preschool gets a "me week" where parents, grandparents, siblings, dogs, etc. come to be shown off. The child gets a big boost of "YEAH YOU" kind of thing, very good for self esteem, etc, very difficult for parents to come up with enough crap for a week. On Thursday, my dad (Grandpa Joe) went and read a book called Diary of a Worm and handed out gummy worms for everyone to eat. Then he stayed for lunch. At lunch, there's three tables of 5 yr olds and two teachers, so the guest gets his/her own table to sit at on the little bitty chair with the rest of the kiddos. [My dad is a gentle soul, and blushes at the thought of any impropriety. (Don't really know how he's survived me all these years). He couldn't even tell me this story, mom had to tell me with dad sitting there blushing last night...] Well, at the little lunch table conversations go wild. Imagine 8 little 5 yr olds and one grownup. My dad's works in pharmaceudical research, and one of the little girls at the table said "I wanna be a scientist when I grow up"...another little girl said "I wanna get big boobs"...the next said "I have boobs, see?" and pulled up her little shirt to show her friends and my dad. In seconds, all the little kids (boys and girls) are showing their little boobs to each other and the discussion of do boys have boobs? started. Dad's dying now, trying his best to change the subject. He gets everyone to put their shirts back down and steers the conversation to cartoons. He relaxes a moment, then one little boy said "my mom has REALLY BIG BOOBS" and another girl said "my mom has REALLY REALLY BIG BOOBS" all the little kids are using hand gestures to show just how big their mommas are and Dad said he was afraid the teachers were going to think he was a perverted old man, so he's freaking out. I guess Dad about lost it when Joey (my boy) said "my mom's boobs are not very big" and used his hands right up against his shirt to show. Dad said his mind went blank and all he could think of was sports. sports. sports. no boobs. sports. Finally he got them talking about t-ball, soccer, and the like.

I was ROLLING on the ground at this point of the story, my mom had tears running down her face from laughing so hard and my dad was STILL blushing so bad his bald head was red too. I asked what the teachers said about all this and he said they never heard any of it, he finished lunch, thanked the teachers and ran for his truck in a cold sweat.

Funny thing is, a few of those mommas have had some help from plastic surgery, so the kids weren't far off in their estimations. Poor Grandpa Joe.

Vicki, for some reason my slow computer won't load your page today, and I wanted to say I've had that bare naked lady's song in my head ALL NIGHT and ALL DAY, but it's a good thing.....If I had a million dollars...if I had a million fave part of the song is "I'd buy you some art.....a Picasso or a Garfunkel". Now realizing I only know maybe two lines of the whole song, repeat those two lines for 3 to 9 hours, and you'll be in my head too! GOOD TUNES!

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