Sunday, January 16, 2005

Modified New Years Resolutions

I know, it's not even February yet, but the resolutions needed a bit of work if they were going to make it to spring.

I've gone from:
*Exercising on a regular basis (3 times per week min)
*Eating more healthy food and less junk
*Taking extra time with appearance no matter if I'm just going to the dungeon, (wear makeup and nice clothes)
*Being more patient with the kids and myself
*Begin a savings program to save for a down payment on a home and a real vacation
*Enjoy life's little moments

*Trying not to resemble a slug
*Eating vegetables & fruits (along with the bad stuff)
*Sitting still & quiet for 5 min's each day
*the Saving thing
*Enjoy life

The slug thing gives a little more lee-way. I haven't actually exercised more than once in this new year. I'm drinking this freaky stuff called Pom that's supposed to be chock full of antioxidants and other good stuff. It's all juice, but has an aquired taste. I figure if I eat enough good stuff, maybe I'll be too full to eat all the crap I normally inhale. I did pass up the donuts my aunt brought today and did not eat the fries that my kids didn't finish from our McD's treat this afternoon, so that's not so bad.

Why is it so hard to not eat when you're not hungry? or is it just me? I'm not an emotional eater, I don't eat when I get stressed, I just eat all the time. I thought I'd try to not eat today if I wasn't hungry. It was almost enough to drive me insane tonight. I did ok during the day, was able to walk by stuff, or pick up another project or go do something else, but tonight it was all I could do not to bring a bag of cookies or popcorn or candy with me to bed. Why? I thought it was just a habit, but it's like this consuming madness of me wanting to eat and I'm NOT HUNGRY. WTF? I am a very strong woman. I can do a lot of things and have lived through a lot of crap in my lifetime. But it takes more willpower than I possess to quit eating all the damn time. I'm going to bed. I am going to make it through one day at a time. Cripes, I sound like an AA commercial. It's a good thing I've got generally good metabolism still, even though my ASS and thighs forgot that and started packing on the fat. ONE more WTF for the road. WHY is it when OTHER women get fat, their chests get bigger???? I gain 40 or 50 lbs and I'm still a half-cup from filling my A cup bras. I lose 20 lbs and I LOSE weight in my chest and a little all over. WTF????? That's not right. If I get chubby, SOME of it should go to give me cleavage! dammit.

Ok, off to bed, I'm cussing more than I'm talking now and tired and hungry and feeling slug-like.

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