Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Battle of the wasp/hornet/mutant thing

So, first a dungeon update. If I hadn't lived through the history of that place, I would think "oh what a lovely place to be, everyone's so happy and they are letting me be so flexible with my schedule, it's unreal". I'm loving it. It's wierd still, but I'm loving it. AND we had the bathrooms and kitchen cleaned AGAIN today, I know, I know, it's UNBELIEVABLE!!! In the last 2 weeks, our facilities and floors have been cleaned more than they have been in the last 2 years. Is that scary or what????? MAN! How low is that when I get all excited about clean floors? If you could have only seen the nasty stuff growing all over the floor, toilet, AND WALLS of that bathroom, you would be happy for me too. Makes me wanna drink more water just so I can pee more. Ok, that's a bit much even for me.

STILL haven't decided on a knitting project, went through all my knitting books & magazines and decided I only have enough stash yarns for another TANK TOP or SCARF or I do have some Rayon Boucle yarn and a pattern for a biased shawl/wrap thing, but don't have the needles. I do have one more big ol' hank of schaeffer yarn (for my bumpy scarves I've been cranking out) and may have to give up and make one more until payday comes along. I do think I want to try the booga bag after my next trip to the LYS, we'll see.

OH, the highlight of the evening (besides getting booted off our server at work so I am accomplishing NOTHING here at home when I need to be getting extra hours in dammit), was I TRIUMPHED OVER THE BIG BAD SCARY HORNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, this little lady who you should remember is terrified more than life itself of anything resembling a bee, was finally feeling better as the frozen bees wood was dumped back outdoors as soon as the power came back on after our little ice storm. Well, apparently one of the little (no HUGE) M.F.ers somehow made it through. You know how I JOKED that I didn't want any unfrozen bees laying bee baby eggs in my home and laughed laughed laughed since they were all outdoors back frozen again???? I was sitting on the couch swatching up some of the stash yarn I have to see if any of it would work for a cute sweater set I found (it really didn't) and Joey said, Hey Mom, there's a moth inside. I immediately grabbed a paperback and jumped to crush the thing, hey, when my yarn's threatened, I'm like a momma bear protecting her young. Well, it was NOT a moth, no. It was one of the biggest freaking WASPS/HORNET things (don't know the difference, don't want to know) flying and flipping up to the light fixtures down here.

Dad's currently in Scotland (yes I'm a loser single momma who rents the basement apartment from her folks until my kids are both in school and don't need full time child care and I can afford to live in my own home), Mom was upstairs with a migraine and it was down to me and the kids and the dog. The dog ran like a scared rabbit to the kids who I sent back to the nintendo room. I went bobbing and weaving around the damn thing upstairs for a fly swatter, came back down and could NOT find the damn thing. I'm shaking, sweating, cussing under my breath like a drunken sailor, and finally head in to tell the kids, everything's fine, no worries, and other crap so I don't pass my unhealthy obsessive fear on to the kids. I go back upstairs trying to find wasp spray. What kind of a home doesn't have wasp spray readily available in the middle of winter? OK, I know it's some of the most toxic substance know to man and it's not supposed to freeze, but STILL. So, life goes on and I tell the kids just to keep an eye out for anything moving, no big deal. The SCREAMING inside my head is hard to ignore now, but I'm cool on the outside. We sit, we eat, we see the wasp/hornet/mutant thing and the shadow passes across my face. I somehow do not lose consciousness and calmly send the kids back to play nintendo. I use my good ol' womanly instincts and run to the bathroom, get the biggest can of nasty old lady hairspray that I got on sale years ago and just haven't ever thrown out as I keep thinking I may someday need a beehive do for halloween, and after emptying about 1/2 the can onto the thing as it dive bombs me and various pieces of furniture, then it finally drops from the sky where I pummel it into pieces and flush its parts down the toilet. flush again just to be sure.

I have to admit I heard Queen's old song "We are the champions, my friend....." in my head. SWEAR TO GOD. I was all walking with my head held high and my hairspray can stuck to my fingers and I felt good.

Wasps 0
Christine 2

Let's end this thing before anyone else gets hurt. No more frozen bees from the ice storm allowed in my house. I threw the woodbox out in the ice as well once I finally put the hairspray can down. If we lose power again at any point in the future, that damn wood is staying OUTSIDE no matter if it's 4 degrees or what. I will walk my frozen butt out there every hour to get more wood. Two ice storms, two frozen bee incidents, my heart can't take any more.

I'm not going anywhere in this house without hairspray.

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