Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Smooth move, grace

It's amazing I'm even able to feed myself without causing a ruckus some days. I head to the gym this morning, hit the stairmaster, hit the eliptical, take notes on my own little perfected eliptical workout routine, sweat my ass off, feeling good. I head to the dry sauna room (the wet ones just make me feel like I'm inside a giant's sweat socks and gross me out). NO ONE's in there. I LOVE that! I lie down and take up an entire length of one wall's cedar shelf seat thing. Crank up my tunes in the old i-pod. I've been having that song from David Allen Coe called You Never Even Called Me By My Name in my head lately, so I figured I'd just play the damn thing and get it over with.

I'm laying there, peek around, still alone in the room, start sweating, relaxing, close my eyes and rest. You know how sometimes you can be humming along with the music without really realizing it? you know? You also know how when you're singing loud with the radio, I mean REALLY BELTING it out there but the music's blaring too, so you kind of sound good? Yeah. You know when you're singing lound, REALLY BELTING IT and you're wearing an ipod so no one else hears the music and your voice isn't covered up at all it sounds like shit? really REALLY loud shit? you know?

Yup, I can't help myself. This song is twangy. really really twangy. When it gets to the talking part about how his friend "wrote the perfect country & western song" and does the last verse....
Well, I was drunk the day my mom got out of prison
And I went to pick her up in the rain
But before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got runned over by a damned old train.....

So I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
You don't have to call me darlin, darlin.
You never even called me by my name.......

Oh sweet Jezebel. I belted, I twanged, I even did jazz hands at the end with a little OOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh ending of my own added in for good measure. Then the music stopped. And I heard a cough. and two laughs. nice. Two guys in there are rolling on the floor laughing their asses off. very nice. They said they both loved the song, so didn't want to interrupt me since I was having such a good time. One even said he liked the jazz hands. I about crawled out of that little 180 degree room with a face that wasn't red from the heat baby. I truly am the coolest thing around. JAZZ HANDS for cripes sakes. JAZZ HANDS.

On that healthy note, I figured I'd start yet another blog where I can ramble on the weight loss/getting healthy crap a bit more detailed. How I Lost 30 Pounds should hopefully end up getting most of the knowledge I've gained through this whole process. I will add links and good info soon, here's just the start so far.

On the knitting front, I went and met Chery from Chery Knits aka the sock knitter fashionista for a quick look around the Studio and then lunch. She swears she can win me over to the idea of 2 socks at once on 2 circ needles. I like the idea of it, but haven't quite gotten there yet. I did pick out some yarn to try it out and have finally ordered some knitpicks needles, so we'll see how that whole thing goes. Her socks are really spectacular and she just CRANKS them out. I had a blast and she just cracks me up and is inspiring to boot. Thanks Chery!

I frogged the worlds least tempting Tempting sweater last night. One of the not-so-nice things about being the Knitting Virgin, is that I do things because I just don't know better. I've hopefully learned that when something isn't looking or feeling quite right that it's a sign that something probably wasn't right instead of finishing the entire damn sweater before I start to question anything. A few years back, I made one of the heaviest sweaters you can imagine. Just think of a really long tube (I made it longer just 'cause) of ribbed cotton. heavy, mercerized, worsted weight cotton. heavy. cotton. ribbed for no one's pleasure. It's sat patiently waiting to become something else for about 2 years now in a plastic bag in the bottom of the "bad ideas and butt ugly results" drawer. It's now on its way to becoming a cute top-down summer top from Amy Singer's new book No Sheep For You. It's already much happier. It's a springy yellow, so I should look like a daffodil in it. can't wait.

And for you truly sadistic people out there, I do have a bikini shot. I am NOT posting this one yet. I am butt white and the angle of the camera just didn't do my new self justice. I've actually got to go have a real "after" shot done next month, so I'll have a fake tan sprayed on first and work a little more on the legs and get a new suit. I promise to post the link if you promise not to scream. Don't worry, I won't just stick my half-nekkid self here for all to see, I'll at least have a warning and a click to see the before & after shots thing set up.

Now, you know you want to, go ahead and belt it out with me....
So I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
You don't have to call me darlin, darlin.
You never even called me
Well I wonder why you don't call me
Why don't you ever call me by my name?

JAZZ HANDS......... ooooooooooohhhhhhhh yeah

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