Saturday, August 26, 2006

An accomplishment filled day.

Well, yesterday was just a day where I got things DONE.

#1. Finished tunisian crocheted bikini top & bottoms, decided it was assinine to MAKE your own bikini when you don't have one of those model bodies that look GOOD in a few pieces of string and have searched for YEARS for a suit to wear to mask and mold my body just so. I'm wearing it ANYWAY, because it is my #27 (or was it #29?) list of things I want to do before I die. (still don't have the list done, just working on numbers here and there.) It is a very cute suit and I highly recommend the pattern, it's just going to have to be donated to one of my skinny minny Asian girlfriends when the trip is over.

#2. Found a swimsuit that FITS me and LOOKS GOOD and I DIDN'T SHED ONE TEAR while trying on suits. This is a major accomplishment for me, so just humor me here. I have the most terrible time finding suits for my body and of course have those trauma issues almost every woman has at swimsuit shopping time, so normally it's a LONG ASS day of going from store to store, and the day usually ends with no suits purchased and much chocolate consumed. I have the one trusty tanky-kinda-top that covers the belly and bottoms that barely cover the butt as long as I don't move too quickly or lean to one side. I have had that trusty suit from Target for at least 4 years now. I've shopped at least 2 times a year since buying that suit and have yet to find one. I went to Target AGAIN and realized they only have the suit parts with the XXL tops and XS bottoms, um, not quite what I was looking for. No suits left in any store since everyone's stocking fall items.

Then I went to one of those specialty swimsuit shops in Town Center (not the normal swimsuit shops with surfer barbie dolls working in them since that just adds to the humiliation and generally pisses me off. I went to the old-lady-cruise and young-rich-2nd-wife kind of store.) I went to the counter, swallowed my pride and said "Please help me. I've got no boobs, a big butt and thunder thighs and I'm going to Maui in ONE WEEK and will be taking pictures we'll be looking at for a lifetime. PLEASE HELP ME." I then went to the dressing room, tried on over 40 suits she brought me (swear to God, I counted 42) and then FOUND ONE that WORKED and LOOKS GOOD!!! AND a cute cover up/sarong thing that goes with the suit without being too matchy. THEN she pulled out a cute cover-up/dress that makes me look CURVY and THIN!!! It was about the only thing in the store NOT on sale, at $75 for a terry-cloth-kinda material short dress. But it MADE ME LOOK SKINNY!!! Do I even have to type that I bought it? I cannot see spending $75 on a freaking coverup, but I think I'd eat catfood and toast for a month if I had to, or at least not buy any more yarn for a month, to make the sacrifice. IT MADE ME LOOK SKINNY DAMMIT!!!

#3. Finished CLEO, but no pictures taken yet.

#4. Decided to knit something for SOMEONE ELSE since I've been Madame Selfishista the last few months. I've got about half a prayer shawl done and am enjoying thinking positive healing thoughts while I'm knitting away.

#5. Washed my sizzle sweater and it's laying out drying. Decided it's going to Maui as the "dinner out" outfit. All weaved-in ends stayed woven in, mattress seamed sides stayed together, I'm quite pleased with myself.

#6. Got ahold of someone at the foundation sending us on this trip in SIX DAYS and conveyed my teensy weensy bit of stress in not having any documentation or paperwork what-so-ever in a pleasant, friendly manner. We're supposed to have things UPS-ed out on Monday, for us to receive on Tuesday, then we leave on FRIDAY morning, but still the company supposed to pick us up & take us to the airport is, um, NOT BOOKED YET, but apparently this is not stressful to anyone at the foundation, so it must just be me. I even told the lady very nicely, "you know, if I could just get our paperwork, I promise to never call again!"

#7. Did not ram my blazer through the back end of the lady driving the car ahead of me, 8 miles UNDER the speed limit, when I had to get back home to pick up the kids from school and she kept just slowing down WAYYYYYY before the streetlights JUST IN CASE they might turn yellow or red, which THEY DID because we were going so FREAKING SLOW even before she slowed down MORE and there was one lane due to road construction. Did I mention she had TWO Phill Kline for Attorney General bumper stickers on the back end of her car? DID I????? MAN that was hard for me.

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