Just go ahead and sign me up for the old folks' home now!

OH HOLY DOG CRAP ON A STICK!!!!!!!!!!! So, first of all, for those that don't already know me and love me (or know me and tolerate me) I must state that I can be a titch on the dingy side occasionally. I also have some strange cosmic power where strange things happen to me or to those around me. Not always good, not always bad, just strange and funky. Life is seldom boring around me. I'm always worried that my children will have me committed as insane when I get old. I've always been borderline nutty so they'd have a lifetime of examples of why mom shouldn't be out on her own.... here's another one for the books.

So, wanna hear about my morning??? Remember I have a court date set for 8:30am on the 7th day of December. (yes, we ALL know NOW that today's the 5th of Dec. but work with me.) I must have read that ticket 14 times to make sure it was tomorrow (I have a history of things not working right so I was a bit gunshy). I looked at my calendar to verify Monday was the 7th (anyone got this one figured out yet?....NOVEMBER had a Monday the 7th...December's Monday is the 5th... yup hadn't flipped the calendar to December yet.) Ok, that would be bad enough, to show up on the wrong day, wouldn't it? Nope I don't do things that simply. I once had a music professor (when I wanted to be a professional flautist aka flute player) who always told me to stop worrying about making mistakes. She told me that if I was going to mess up, make it a monster mess up with every part of my heart and soul. That kind of stuck with me through life, so I just blame her.

I get both kids up and running, drop them at school at 5 till 8am, right on time. My wet hair is frozen as I didn't have time to dry it and I gotta get to the other end of town, find a parking place and get to court by 8:30. Look out, low fuel light comes on. dammit. OK, no problemo, go to gas station. Look in purse to make sure I've got a check to pay for the ticket if they don't let me out of it, NOPE last one was used up, none ordered yet. OK, no problemo, hit the atm at the gas station. Gas station's atm is having "communication problems" DAMN. No problemo, go to the little drive-thru atm across the street. Did I mention this is at State Line Rd and 103rd where you cannot get across traffic??? Find a nice man who lets me across the street. Got the cash, can NOT get across traffic for TWO lights, say FUXX IT and go to Wornall's entrance an entire block out of the way. My honey calls me and apparently I just flew by him on the highway and didn't even see him. Good luck kicks in and I get past FOUR cops (city AND state troopers) doing speed traps. (some luck here as I didn't think it would help me get out of a ticket by getting ANOTHER one on top of it, huh?). I make it to Santa Fe and am going down the road, I just might make it, and the TRAIN light starts flashing...the bars aren't down yet, we can make it we can make it, but OOOOOOHHHHHHHH the car ahead stops early just to be safe. We must be safe, must'nt we? OH, I sit there for THREE minutes (it seemed like an eternity) and then safety sam ahead of me WAITS just to be sure the train is really gone after the bars go up....OH MY GOD GET OUT OF MY WAY PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Finally I get to the courthouse and have 2 minutes to spare, find a parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT (which never ever happens), run through the building, find the traffic court after taking 2 wrong turns...sit and wait. and wait. and wait. I'm rolling my ball of yarn, talk to another lady who ASKED at the courthouse door whether she could bring in knitting needles and was told no (mine are just always in my bag, so I had mine). and waited some more. 8:50am the judge comes in and I notice everyone else has a LOT of files and lawyers and such. There's no police in the courtroom and the cases are all about people with DUI's and HITTING people with their cars and such, no just trying to get out of speeding tickets. I pull out my ticket, slip out to find a cop outside the room and ask WTF? It appears there is ANOTHER freaking courthouse in Olathe. Yup, I'm at the wrong one and it's now almost 9am. cripes. He gives me directions (complicated and I'm already frazzled).

I book it out of there, follow most of the directions, can't find the damn courthouse. How hard is it to find a little building with a bunch of flags in a little town anyway??? If the cop would've said "right down the street from the Great Plains Mall" I'd have been there instantly. Nope, he said "old highway 56 and Harrison" great. That helps. not. Drove around until I found three Olathe cops sitting talking between their cars and they showed me where the courthouse was. Municipal court. great. I get there at 9:05am. I ask the clerk if I'm in the right place, tell her I'm late, she tells me to go on in and they'll get to me. So, again, I'm sitting, winding my ball of yarn, watching this nice judge talk to people about why they didn't do their house arrest, how they can't pay their debt today, but next week..... and on and on and on. No policemen in the courtroom here either I notice. I think "hmmmmm" not again, I whisper to the D.A. sitting up there looking bored. He said this is the municipal court, and it is the only courtroom, but today was "failure to pay" day or something like that. I tell him the mini version of my morning from hell and he asks to see the ticket. He said "your court date is set for Wednesday." I go "OHHHHHHH" (said like Grace from Will & Grace from the gut and with much pain). He said, "you know you can just pay outside today." and I'm like "not now I can't, with all this effort invested, I wanted to see if there was any way to pay a lesser fee." and he said then I have to come back and see me on Wednesday. dammit.

SO I go to work. Remember the work stress? Well, it's much less now thank you very much! This job that I was dreading and hating and trying to get out of last year and now am trying to hold onto with every fiber of my being because it's PERFECT for me and flexible and all that but I wasn't sure if I'd be employed after Dec. 31??? Remember that??? well NOW I find out I'm still going to be employed after Dec. 31 (can I get a WOO HOO??? WOO HOO!) AAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDD I'm getting a Christmas bonus (not supposed to be very big, but it'll be something) AAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD the raise I was supposed to get on Aug 6th is now kicking in (also small, but again it's more $$ in the pocket and actually more than the raise I got last year when we were still a "normal" company) AAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD I'm getting an extra check for the backdated time that should cover the speeding ticket plus a tiny bit!

So, I really should save my time and go over and pay, right? nope. not gonna do it. Wednesday morning I'm gonna get to the right courthouse this time and sit & knit until they call my name. :) Wish me luck! (again)

My hair stayed frozen until just a few minutes ago. Thank God for Allegra the magnicent and a hair cut I can leave the house without doing ANYTHING to! I need a drink. It's got to be beer-thirty somewhere...no, that doesn't sound good, but margarita-thirty, mmmmmmm. that's what I'm talking about!