Sunday, December 11, 2005

Christmas Carols Knitting-Virgin-Style--come on, sing along!

It's beginning to look a lot like stress-mas!
Everywhere you go.
My schemes, they were so grand,
But now I'm crippled in one hand,
Knitting presents for every person that I know...

It's beginning to look a lot like stress-mas!
Yarn buying's made me poor...
Afghans, wrist warmers and hats,
socks, ponchos and stuffed cats,
Why didn't I just buy them from the damn store?

It's beginning to look a lot like stress-mas!
I'm truly in denial!
Oh my aching fingers and back,
I must have been smoking crack,
All these presents getting finished with a smile?

It's beginning to look a lot like stress-mas!
Oh what a bitch!
Gifts may not be done on time,
Let's have another glass of wine!
There's love and STRESS in each and every stitch.
(Maybe I should aim for Xmas 2006!)

Stressed? Me? Naw, I've got total Christmas Dementia. I was actually at the Joann's craft store with a full basket of yarn, cheap yarn, and when I say full, I mean FULL shopping cart FULL of yarn. It was Saturday, December 10th. I somehow thought, hey, just because I haven't finished the 2 afghans I've started and the 6 pair of wrist warmers, put the fringe on the poncho for dd or even started the hat I was thinking of making for bf, why not start THREE more afghans. sure, why not. I was sitting there in line, adding up how much $$ I had to fork out and I swear to Goodness that it was over $100. I don't care how much I love people and want to create hand-made gifts for them, I'm not spending $100 on crap yarn. It's not gonna freaking happen. Then this nice lady ahead of me with TWO skeins of yarn said, "honey, you do realize you've only got 15 days, right?" I said, "oh, of course. Crocheting is much faster than knitting..." I stood there thinking WTF am I doing (I still had to get to the Studio for more artyarn skeins for more wrist warmers). I handed the poor girl at the checkout counter most of the skeins and kept enough for ONE more afghan to start for my son. It's his birthday RIGHT before Xmas, so SURE, why not? I don't need sleep, nope, not me. I can do anything. I'm super knitter/crocheter/plastic canvaser/cross stitcher... I'm also insane.

I think I've figured it out. It's like childbirth. There must be some hormone that comes into our bodies right after Christmas that makes us forget how horrible last Christmas season was. Every freaking year. You'd think I'd learn, huh? Nope. Not me, I was actually printing off patterns for new projects. My heart has been racing for two days now. I thought it was too much caffeine. Then I realized I'm even knitting and crocheting in my dreams.

Everybody now....It's beginning to look a lot like Stress-mas, everywhere you go..... Maybe it's just me. Other women I see in the LYS look totally sane. They seem to be shopping for pleasure. I'm lucky I'm still bathing daily and able to drive. Is anyone else out there going crazy? Or are you being smart and shopping at Target and Old Navy? I really should do that, but I still have 15 days left. Oh, 14. And a big-ass final in my class I'm not ready for. And children to raise. and a job. and a boyfriend. But still, 14 days is a lot of time....

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