Monday, October 23, 2006

Damn Old Ladies!

OK, I have a serious weakness (BESIDES beer, mikes hard limeades, hand-dyed yarn and all things chocolate). A big ol whoppin weakness. Old ladies. Old ladies armed with acrylic yarn are my absolute worst fear. I can't go into a church bazaar without LOSING MY SOUL. I buy more crap that I don't use and don't need and don't even really like only because of the damn old ladies. They're so SWEET and so YARNY I just can't take it! I end up with at least 4 of those damn crocheted topped towels at every freaking sale. I have nothing against the crocheted topped towel, it's a wonderful creation. I just have got to draw the line somewhere. I am a total sucker for little old ladies who are so proud of those wal-mart kitchen towels cut in two and topped with matching yarn. I not only end up buying more of these than a woman could possibly use in a lifetime, I also am versed in the whole button debate. The button debate? Yes, the button debate. Much like the way some knitters are yarn snobs and look down on the craft yarn knitters (hey, I buy it ALL baby), the crocheted button closure crocheted towel topper ladies look down on those who just sew a button on. SEW A BUTTON ON? the shame, the scandal. Those that are truly the cream-of-the-towel-topping-crop start with a little plastic ring and then do some kind of magic where it produces a YARN button. Eminently superior to the standard plastic button. Go ahead, I dare you. At your next craft fair, ASK one of the ladies about the button. Lets see how many of those damn things you end up buying!

Why the rant? I was saved, glory hallelujah! I stopped by this roadside pumpkin patch JUST TO TAKE A PICTURE of the creative pumpkins sign made out of PUMPKINS. Too cute! And then I figured I'd better get a big ol' pumpkin so the honey can make his traditional scary creepy creation. I was just about out of there, when the little ladies started arriving. One after another, their little old husbands unloading their cars. Toilet tissue covers shaped like snowmen, those bags you hang in your pantry to save the little plastic baggies from the grocery store, afghans galore, magnets, the works. Then I saw it, a WHOLE CAR FULL OF THOSE DAMN KITCHEN TOWELS!!! This sweet little lady who I swear was over 90 kept trying to help me pick up the pumpkin weighing at least 35 lbs while telling me about her kitchen towels. Don't freak people, I didn't make grandma moses carry the pumpkin. She told me I could even come in EARLY and shop BEFORE the general public since I was so sweet. NOOOOOooooooooooooo! I pretty much threw the money at her, gave her a "bless you too!" (pumpkins & craft fair was for the poor or something) and ran like a little girl with the pumpkin on my shoulder. I think I may have even burned a titch of rubber leaving the parking lot.

A little too much drama you think? Let's just say I was able to wrap ALL my dishes and glasses and cookware in crochet-topped kitchen towels in our last move. No paper towels or crumpled up newspaper was needed. Hell, I could've wrapped the children in them too. Someday I think I'll make a halloween costume out of them, but for now, the whole collection is just too scary even for that.

OK, back to the knitting news. I wore my lovely skb sweater to a cousin's kid's wedding this weekend and just loved it. We ALL went, the whole brady bunch with Jeff's kids and mine. Everyone pretty much behaved themselves and got along. Scary, I know. I did spend about half the 3 hr roadtrip with a cd player blasting in my headphones, but all in all it was a good time. And, um, that really wasn't MY DAUGHTER that slid into and knocked over one of the big columns on the dance floor and almost beaned the bride which would've given her a massive concussion if one of my cousins hadn't reacted quickly and saved the day. The fact that she had a massive scrape and bruise on her shin and a big long sliding mark on the back of her skirt are just coincidences. really. (you know you think it would've been one of the wild boys there, wouldn't you?, cripes!)

I also finished Jeff's mountain colors socks and think I will make Joey some smaller ones with the left-over yarn. I still have to kirchener one toe together and weave in a few ends, but they're ever so yummy for boring brown socks.

And can I get a WOO HOO for the Chiefs pulling the game out of their ass? WOO HOOOOOO! WAY TO GO!! After we finished watching the game, Jeff took the kids out in the front to play some football of their own. I wimped out as it was chilly and decided I'd rather sit inside the garage where it was warm and watch.

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