Tuesday, May 03, 2005

How's the weather? Why, it's raining men!

All right, enough actual knitting posts. We want some SMUT, right? The possessed Knitting Virgin, blogger with 2 entries per day, has been a bit distracted by her new interest and has been seriously lax in typing away...

OK, so my absent mojo is apparently back in overdrive. There are men just falling from the sky in southern Johnson County. Yummy sweet boy Jeff is calling about once or twice a day to say hi, very sweet, and is so very VERY yummy. More details on him later.

Guess who called me yesterday afternoon? Yes, it was dealershipman, that cute guy I was flirting with THREE WEEKS ago. SO now that I'm getting to know my yummy boy, I'm not so interested in dealershipman, but I turned the poor guy down 12 months ago when he asked me out last time, so I thought I'd better be gentle. I mean, I'm just getting started in this dating again thing. So we chatted a little bit, it turns out he's actually still dating another lady, but is getting ready to break up...so I had the perfect out. I said, you know, I'm just not wanting to get into anything complicated right now. I said since he is the one in charge of my truck when I bring it in for oil changes anyway, so he should know he'll see me every couple of months at least. He seemed very happy, am I smooth or what?

THEN late last week I get a major pickup from one of the divorced dads at my daughter's elementary school skating party. I'm telling you, I may not be a hottie or graceful on land, but get me in those old-time roller skates and I'm a man magnet. woo hoo, it must be the way I almost knock children over and wobble my arms in the air. Big butted momma wobbling around on wheels, sounds irrisistible, doesn't it? I harmlessly flirted a bit, told him I was just starting to date someone, but to keep me in mind. I also ran into the wall in the bathroom (no witnesses other than my embarrased children). Remember those skating parties, WHY do they make the bumpy SLICK floors always slant downhill???? Basically it sounded like this, "bumpa bumpa bumpa bumpa OH CRAP! bumpa bumpa bumpa WHAM owwwwwww DAMMIT!"

SO, where was all this when I was wanting a date all last month? Ah well, I have been rewarded for my patience (ok, so I wasn't patient I just didn't give a crap any longer.)

BACK to yummyboyland. Ok, that needs another name, it gives me an image of Michael Jackson and his Neverland, ick. YUMMY JEFF, oh Lordy Lordy Lordy. Well, we have talked each evening or day since I met him. I am normally NOT a phone person. I barely EVER talk on the phone even to my dearest friends longer than a few minutes. I just don't do it. I'm enjoying learning about this guy. I had a million things going on this last weekend, so he asked me out for dinner Sunday night. We went to J. Alexanders for steak and wine and it was WONDERFUL! It was weird being on an "actual date" instead of just meeting somewhere casually. It was nice though. We ended up back at his house, sitting on the couch listening to music and talking. I gotta say, this man sets my blood afire. Last time, the big kiss started with the hand in the hair at the back of my neck. This time I got the TWO HANDED combo kiss as the start to our evening...the one hand in my hair at the back of my neck and the other hand cradling my face along the jaw line pulling me into him......OH LORD, how do you resist that????

The other day we met for about an hour at a Panera's and I was knitting as I was waiting for him to show up. He said not to put it away as he thought it was sexy. So we sat & chatted & drank our drinks (green tea for me, BLACK coffee for him--none of that fat-free double latte crap, no, just the manly plain old coffee) and I knitted on the tempting sweater and he put my feet in his lap and massaged them while we talked. HEAVEN is actually here on earth, apparently. Since this is the SAME sweater with the easy 2X2 rib that I had to frog the ENTIRE thing back when we were having one of our first long phone conversations, you would have thought I learned my lesson, wouldn't you???? Nope. Apparently I am not able to knit ANYTHING harder than straight knit on circs as I realized last night that somehow I flipped the ribbed tube I'd knitted inside out and now have the first loose threads from joining the 2nd ball on the outside and the 3rd ball join threads on the inside. There's also a lovely twisted stitch only about 6" down from where I'm now at. I think it's fixable, I'm leaving the damn twisted stitch and its little hole it created and will put it in the back or under an arm or something.

My new theory on men...You used to be able to tell how a man was in bed by the way he danced. Since I'm a few years past the old college days of bar-hopping, that info just isn't as helpful to us women of today. Now that I'm in my late 30's, I need to find a new way to go hmmmmmm. So, I think that the way men drive should be an indicator of how they are in bed.

So far here's my ideas....
Those guys driving the pimped-up hotrods that rev at the stoplight and then go screaming off only to slam on the brakes for the next light--I'm guessing all talk and no walk, wham-bam, thank you ma'am and done before the lady gets her engine revved.

The careful drivers, those men that keep 2 hands on the wheel, drive right under the speed limit, follow all the rules--I'm guessing the careful and dutiful husband-type, sex on Wed. and Sat. nights, not bad in bed, but very predictable.

Jeff drives with one hand on the wheel, wide range of music in the mp3 player, and takes the scenic route wherever he goes just to see different sites. Makes me think, hmmmmmm scenic routes are good. We'll see.

The theory makes sense, though, doesn't it?

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