I need some opionions NOW please!

OK, I'm having MAJOR knit-craziness hitting me today. PLEASE HELP ME DECIDE what to make in this knitting craze. I have this cool yarn, twisted sisters jazz merino in the colorway lapis (crazy blues) and NEED TO KNIT SOMETHING RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, ok, actually later this afternoon/early evening is the first chance I'll have to knit.

Which should I do? I can hit gauge for either sweater and just can't wait for the download to come through on other sweaters I was thinking of. What do you guys think?

Bad Penny
Picovoli



I think I'm leaning towards picovoli because I think it would be more flattering and probably a faster knit, but I just don't know. I just can't knit any more on a long-sleeved sweater because the sun is shining and it's 60 degrees out and I need some cute spring-time tops! Also, if I go back to the Studio to get a few more balls of yarn I'll probably blow the entire paycheck. I'm in full-tilt CRAZY MODE where I just can't seem to stop jumping around! Someone either needs to slap me upside the head or I need to go run a few miles and settle my ass down. I think this is actually a sign that I am probably in need of serious medication. or chocolate. and beer. chocolate and beer. mmmmmmmmmmmm. one more week, baby.

Looking back, now I realize it wasn't such a great idea to combine two different forms of energy drinks before my workout today. I'm so pumped up and crazy right now I think I'm actually vibrating above the ground by an inch. seriously. Remember the good old days of the old metabolife? crazy, crazy energy pace of life? Yeah, I'm feeling like that but MORE PUMPED UP. I actually FORGOT that I'd sucked down some funky nasty "grape flavored" crap that actually tasted like pepper and grape and not in a good way with an aftertaste of fuel oil before Trainer Man gave me a GOOD energy drink that's healty and full of vitamin B stuff and not the massive chemicals and caffeine that I'd already pumped into this body. Yes, I forgot until after I drank his whole thing. I've burned so many fat cells I think I burned off part of my brain as well. I'm off to run around the block a few dozen times before I pick up the kids from school. If my hands don't give out tonight, I feel like I could knit a whole damn sweater. fingers be flyin'

GREAT checkup!

Well, we had a wonderful visit at the CF clinic yesterday, thanks for all the warm thoughts and prayers for my little guy! His lungs checked out CLEAR as a regular non-cf kid again! WOO HOO! Joey didn't show any pseudomonas on his throat culture (it's still probably still there, but they've almost irradicated it, which was what we were hoping for!), his blood work showed good levels of A, E and K, which he was low on the last two times, his lung functions were new personal highs, and it was just GREAT! Another WOO HOO! We're now done with 2 of the oral antibiotics and are going to stay on the two extra nebulized medicines plus his other regular stuff for the next 4 months to keep things going good. He's got another new way to inhale the albuterol, this time is easier and less time stealing, which is good also! There was one little bomb that kind of unsettled me, but I'm not letting it cloud our good day.

It's so easy as a parent of a child with a chronic disease to get overwhelmed by numbers. Numbers, numbers, numbers. I freaking HATE numbers. They were always telling me the number of something on a culture or a blood work report, but I had no clue what that number MEANT to my boy. I finally got smart and asked for a range of normal healthy child numbers and cf numbers and THEN to be shown where Joey's number fit on that chart. It gives me a much better feel for what's going on and how to judge progress on different problems. It took me SEVEN YEARS to figure out to ask for this kind of information. There should be a book of THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW TO ASK TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW for parents. Through this whole information sharing episode, I found out that apparently, Joey's been in the beginning stages of liver disease since he was an infant. NEVER FREAKING KNEW THAT. WTF? I'm sure someone explained something about it long, long ago, but your mind just shuts off and there's no physical way to process everything when you're faced with a sick child and a whole new overwhelming world. It put a bit of a damper for me on the whole thing, but apparently his liver is not any worse than it was before, it's just fuxxed up. Steadily remaining fuxxed up, which apparently is a good thing. cripes almighty. If I ever got organized enough, I would write the damn book. But, first I imagine there's a buttload of other things I'm supposed to know to ask about that I have no clue about. ANYWAY it was a great checkup, the kid's feeling good, and momma's happy!

To celebrate on our way home and also due to the total embarrassment of me at the clinic where Joey was showing the doctors how THREE of his toes can stick out of the end of his tennis shoes, we stopped at Target for new tennies for the boy. I got him TWO new pair, one for school and one to change into for outdoors. The toeless shoes (not just a hole mind you, a GAPING CHASM at the end of his black shoe where the white shocks just shown right through) are now relegated to lake shoes.

Well, I needed to celebrate too, right? For not only having such a healthy boy, but for being such a healthy momma eating right and exercising and all that. right? RIGHT? Let me tell you, the 2nd book I should write is of life's advice. Right after don't go grocery shopping while PMS-ing and hungry, is Life's Lesson #2... Don't go into the yarn shop when you're feeling exceptionally entitled and PMS-ing and hungry. My excuse was that I need some dk weight yarn to use for the upcoming KnitOff. The knitoff pattern hasn't been posted yet, so I don't know how much yarn to get. We have to make sure to have ENOUGH yarn, right? RIGHT? Well, after finding a very pretty earthy colored hand-painted merino in the right weight in Colinette yarn, got 10 skeins. After the knitoff it could become a lightweight sweater of some sort. At this point, I should have LEFT the Studio. um, well, see, this Twisted Sisters merino somehow started calling to me. Calling loud. Those Twisted Sisters have big mouths. Well, it doesn't make any sense just to buy a couple of skeins, right? RIGHT? Nope. I got 6. Now I realize that the sweater that it gauges up for that's been in my pile of patterns actually will need a couple more, so back to the Studio I go for a few more.

I swatched my ass off last night and got about 2 inches done on the start of Everyday Tweed. I know something's wrong with me, casting on for a WINTER SWEATER when spring's coming around the bend. Now I'm thinking maybe I'll frog it and make it into Wendy Barnard's Essential Stripe without the stripes, but with my mottled, pooling crazy ass twisted sisters blue yarn.

This is how crazy I've been at the end of this bet. KNOWING FULL WELL that I may be frogging the thing, I just HAD to knit anyway. ANYWAY. I couldn't even take the time to spend THINKING about which pattern to do, just HAD.TO.KNIT. cripes.

Pictures of yarn tomorrow, I promise.

Another day, another sock

or almost. Turned heel on sock #2 late last night. I made myself put down the knitting. just.put.down.the.yarn.and.slowly.back.away. I read a book for about half an hour, jittering to be knitting. I'm not sure this is such a healthy substitute for my good old habit of old, you know, EATING obsessively. I guess the idea was to WEAN myself off obsessive eating for no good reason and knit to help that, not to totally become crackhead yarn lady. Ah well. At least our family will have warm feet!

I'm taking Joey back to Children's Mercy for his next monthly checkup this afternoon. He's FINALLY been showing signs of kicking the lung infection and getting more energy the last 2 weeks, so I expect it to be a good appointment. (Joey has cystic fibrosis, a lung and digestive disease and around Christmas-time caught an antibiotic resistant lung infection that hits kids with CF and causes lots of bad stuff and lots of extra medicines and treatments to fight it) I was getting kind of stressy since the current massive medicines and extra treatments crap wasn't quite working, but now it is. I think the difference is the sun is starting to shine. I think the soul is just inspired to feel better on pretty days, what kid wouldn't rather be outside riding his bike than sitting around moping on a couch? I've even been more inspired the last few days and I'm sure it's the change in the weather. Ok, so it's cold as heck outside again today, that's Kansas. The sun IS shining, so that's a start.

Off to pack the bag-o-shit for the cf checkup. One must have crayons, paper, snacks for child, YARN and needles for momma, deoderant (I sweat like a damn pig in there, memories of old stresses just hit me when I walk in the door), low calorie high protein snack for momma in case we get stuck there later than planned, etc. bubble gum (the citrus mint from Orbit makes the BEST bubbles, I can chew two pieces and blow bubbles the size of my HEAD, good entertainment for waiting rooms).

Eight pounds to go on the bet.

And the bet goes on

First, for those of you not interested in the big bet, or as I now call it, "where I lose my freaking mind and part of the big bootie", here is pure knitting content:

On the left is a nice, boring, dark green sock for Jeff. I pretty much knit the whole damn thing this weekend. I also started sock #2 of it. I think it's Louet superwash merino in a dk weight, but the damn yarn bands disappeared. I got it at the Studio last week. I used sz 3 dpns and a knit 3 purl 1 rib and reinforced the heel with some stuff I got there too, kind of a pain in the butt, but we'll see if it helps on the wearing of the things.

Now to the important stuff...
We've extended the deadline of the bet from March 1st to March 4th since that's the last day Jeff'll be here before heading out for a training trip. Basically, I got my "womanly" stuff going on now and he generously decided to give me a few extra days because he barely lived through "the crazies" last month. Normally I can be a titch crabby with pms. Normally. On low calories, heavy exercise and not much patience, I scare the bejeebies out of everyone around me. Motrin and pamprin never really helped me out. What helps me out is chocolate and beer. Since those aren't high on the list of good things to eat on a serious exercise/bet time, I'm one scary biotch right now. :) Everyone's being V-E-R-Y nice to me lately and I think this is why.

SIX days to go and SEVEN pounds to lose. No worries. I tried some SERIOUS bargaining, but it's all no go. I'm actually very proud of myself as I've hit all the fitness and weight loss goals I set for myself already. I think looking at this as a lifestyle change and not a big ass diet/short term workout thing really helped. I keep having people ask me what meal will you eat first? What foods did you miss the most? Really, I didn't eat crazy stuff. I still ate normal things for the most part, just healthier versions of them. Chicken breasts, steaks, lean hamburger meat, whole grains, veggies, a few tastes of desserts, etc. I also got to really love my workouts. I'm going to continue with my trainer because I love the feel of my new muscles and trim self. I'll cut back on the psycho cardio workouts to normal walks and jogs, and add in beer and chocolate in small doses, but pretty much I don't mind it.

Now, that being said, this week WILL SUCK!!! I have really been using the knitting to help me when I feel hungry, or frustrated or when I feel like screaming, tearing my hair out of my head and running down the middle of the street butt nekkid. Instead of all that, I pull out the yarn and the needles and knit my ass off. I also have knit the entire cuff from the sz 1 sock that I was working on when I snapped the dpn needle in half. I had 3 needles of a longer set and am using 3 7" long's and 2 5.5" long needles and am ready to turn the heel of that one. No worries on the health front, Trainer-Man has frowned upon most of my lose water-weight fast plans. I'm subsisting on a LOT of protein shakes, a LOT of water, some high-energy packed with vitamin B drinks and a TINY BIT of normal food for the next 6 days along with massive amounts of cardio and some sauna-ing thrown in. Depending on how it goes, I may have an appointment for the backwards holistic gin & tonic thing on Thursday afternoon. (tmi, you really don't want to know.)

More crazy knitting

Well, I promised that with the following picture I would post that it was A) very early in the morning (7:18am) and B) my beautiful daughter had not brushed her hair yet. I think she's lovely anyway. Here is the knit-finished shrug/bolero/cardigan I made for Elizabeth. It still needs ends woven and a closure of some sort attached, which I will finish by this weekend. I LOVE IT! She loves it, which is even better! I'll figure out my crazy notes that I made while creating it and post a pattern if anyone's interested. It was made in one piece from the top down and was really fun to make. I used Koigu Kersti, can't remember how many balls, but a lot of them, maybe 8 or 10? can't remember. Any worsted yarn would work, heck, any yarn would work I guess. :)

Here's what's in progress on the needles right now, the prairie tank back and a pair of sport-weight wool socks for Jeff in a knit 3, purl 1 ribbing on sz 3's. I'm still bummed about snapping my rosewood 1 double point the other day. I may have to quit using rosewood on those little needles, I just love the feel of them so much. Maybe just on the 1's. *sigh*



I'm bored in my knitting right now. I need something to possess my knitter's soul. I'm waiting impatiently for the first shipment of my socks that rock 2007 sock club, it's supposed to mail next week. Also coming up is the Knit-Off, another brain child of the Yarnie of the sock-monkey blog. She's the one who started the sock wars that I had such fun with. Check her blog for details, basically every two weeks, there'll be a pattern and specs posted, the first one to post a finished pic to the page set up will move to the next level, it goes on until there's one mighty knitter left. Should be fun. Entries close on Feb. 25th if you're interested and the first pattern starts on March 3rd. Knit-off Group

I promise some pics of the skinnier me soon. I am basically a lazy person at heart (which is one reason this whole eat right and exercise plan is so damn hard for me) and I have yet to figure out how to use the timer button on my camera. That would entail finding the manual (I'm usually doing good to find the camera itself) or spending other effort in reading stuff online. I'm going to wear skinny capri's I bought long, long ago and a summer sweater and bring along a cardigan because it's FREAKING GORGEOUS WEATHER OUTSIDE NOW!!!!! Can I get a woo hoo for sunshine in the midwest? WOO HOO! We had snow and ice a few days ago and now it's glorious 50 degree weather. I love that about Kansas!

I'll post a sample of a day of eating for me since I've had lots of requests, but it'll have to be later. Feeling exceptionally lazy today.

Moment of glory

NO, I haven't hit the big number to end the bet yet, but I did have an unbelievable time last night. I tried on a skirt I'd bought 3 years ago that still had the tags on it. I'd bought it because it was a suade long straight skirt normally priced $249.99 at Eddie Bauer on their clearance rack for $9.99. It was 3 sizes too small and wouldn't go up past the monster thighs. I bought it "just because". It was a classic style and I actually thought maybe someday my daughter would like it.

I've noticed that the thighs of thunder are now a teensy bit SMALLER!!! Never in my life have my butt or thighs gone down no matter how much weight I've yo-yo-ed on & off. I've always lost in the upper body, but nothing below the waist. I guess everything has its breaking point and I'm winning the battle of the bootie!!! I tried on the skirt, it gently skimmed over me and it freaking FITS! And looks good! For the next hour (it was almost midnight but I was so pumped I couldn't sleep) I tried on every stinking piece of clothing in my closet and my drawers that I'd thought I'd never wear again. EVERY PIECE OF CLOTHING I OWN EITHER FITS OR IS TOO BIG. Unbe-freaking-lievable.

I'm not trying to ramble on and on about all this, but it was a moving experience. I laughed, I cried, I pranced about. Jeff tried to be excited but was lost after about the 4th outfit. I almost called my cousin and woke her ass up so I could get some girlfriend enthusiasm, but she has two small children and a husband who probably wouldn't appreciate the call at 1am. Ah well. I'm still dancing around.

I figured out why this is such a big deal for me. I've never completed ANYTHING my entire life. I did have two children, but let me tell you, 12 hours into the first labor, if there was a way to make it stop and keep her in there, I'd have done that in a heartbeat. I have a way of coming up with a really good excuse (queen of rationalization here) or another "alternative" that lets me get out of following anything through to the end in my life. I really want to see this exercise/weight loss thing through. I think that's why I love knitting so. I get such a feeling of accomplishment in starting a project, making it through the many steps and then COMPLETING it. Each piece is a little happy-happy joy-joy dance for me.

Still knitting away on my lacy top, ordered another ball of purple yarn for the roses for the roses tank, almost done with my daughter's cardigan with ruffled edges, and started a pair of socks for Jeff with some dk weight dark green wool I got from the Studio the other day on sz 3's. I snapped one of my damn sz 1 cute little double-point needles in half the other night. Snapped it like a twig. Actually, a twig would've been thicker, so snapped it like a dpn would be more descriptive. damn. Rosewood too. damn. Ah well. I took that as a sign from above that Jeff is not destined to have sz 1 socks knit for him. I've had bad, bad things happen each time I've started one for him. Size 1's are no problem for my socks, just his cause the troubles. Maybe when he's in one of those obnoxious BOY moods I knit a bit tighter than I should and then SNAP! Life goes on.

Beauty/Health tip of the day

Working along at the gym, straining to lift those barbells up again and again...pumping serious iron, watching myself in the mirror to make sure I get just the right angle of the arm. Suddenly I notice something not quite right. OH MY HOLY HELL I shaved my right armpit twice and the left one not at all. nice. This wouldn't be too horrible, except I've got that milky white skin and hadn't shaved the ol'd pits for a few days since it's cold outside and I've been wearing sleeves lately. (I never said I wasn't lazy). Poor Trainer-Man. I'm half-sasquatch and half-normal. And did I mention that I actually grunt a little while I lift? damn I'm sexy.

Tip of the day....turn on the bathroom light when you take your shower in the morning no matter how hard it is to open your eyes. The world will thank you.

Ran out of yarn after 2 roses for the detail on the purple roses tank top. Still in the throes of crazy knitting, keeps me from snacking at night. Pulled out some yarn from the stash for the Prairie Tank top from an old issue of Interweave Knits that I tried and frogged about a year ago. I've got about 8 inches of the back done. It's got this cool lace thing going on and I'm enjoying it (mostly). My hands are so dry and cracked and nasty lately that it depresses me to work with nice silk or wool yarn because my fingers keep catching parts of it. Pulled out the hard unfeeling cotton. Seems to be working ok. Here's a pic of the project, I'm doing it in an off-white, ecru kind of color. I figure it'll be a hot-mommacita top to show off the new body.

Also worked another inch on a pair of socks for Jeff, but the sock knitting just isn't speaking to me. I think it's because I'm waiting for the Socks that Rock club first package to come to me. It's supposed to ship the last week of February. I think it'll be perfect timing for me as that's prime crazy-drop-the-last-few-pounds any way they'll get off me time. I'm doing the normal eating good and exercising and lifting weights thing up until about 7 days left. Then I'm going unhealthy, insane and whatever works. I'm gonna need some good sock yarn. I see a lot of xlax, fruit juice and sweating in my future. Trainer-Man keeps telling me I won't need "the crazies" as he calls it, but we'll see. Let's all hope he's right. 134. Nine pounds on the bet from hell. That's totally do-able, right? RIGHT? From today it's officially two weeks left.

By the way, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! I got a cute card from my folks, lots of hugs and kisses from the kids and we grilled steak dinners for Jeff and me. Jeff got me a nice watch that I really love. I got him a gift certificate for a cowboy hat at the local western shop and some workboot socks. (I gave him socks last year, my first pair I'd ever knit, so I had to continue the socks tradition.)

More evidence of crazed knitting

Progress on the roses top. I MADE IT through the top without running out of yarn! Can I get a woo hoo? WOO FREAKING HOO BABY! I still have to make an i-cord second shoulder strap and then need to make the roses to go along the top edge. I figure if I run out of yarn now, it's no big deal. I can always have a little different dye lot of purple there and I won't care. I felt like such the daredevil knitting this, kept thinking maybe I should cut out one series of repeats....maybe just a few rows....and the daredevil knitter soul inside me said NO! GO GO GO Knit until you can't knit any more! Very Seinfeld-ish. Remember the episode with Kramer and the test drive on the new car? He and the salesman wouldn't stop for gas, they just pushed that car farther and farther past the E on the gauge, even holding hands like Thelma & Louise.... Yup, that was me and my yarn. Who needs a real life when I have excitement like this?

Health tips of the day...
* Don't concentrate on the big number of the total weight you want to lose, or total inches or total whatever. It will make you insane. Think baby steps. Think "I'm gonna try to be good to myself today and make good decisions." That's it. Just make one goal a day and work up from there. If I didn't have my crazy ass bet going on, I'd try to focus less on the scale and more on what I can do each day. Yesterday my goal was go go more than 2 miles on the treadmill. That was all I concentrated on, thinking positive and all that crap. I did it. I made it to 2.5 miles. I would have done a happy dance, but my butt and thighs were too damn tired. I did a mental happy dance. "yeah me! yeah me! yeah me!" "happy, happy, joy, joy" etc.

* OK, this tip is for those of us pear shaped girls. You ladies with no butt need not worry about this one. I finally got up the guts to tell Trainer-Man why I really hate the treadmill. I hate it because my butt has an extra bounce. You pears know what I'm talking about, right? There's the initial bounce with each foot hitting the treadmill. That's expected. Your whole body is bouncing from foot to foot, side to side. No biggie. Well, um, there's this "extra" bounce I get. It's like a rebound bounce. A massive, BIG extra bounce. Step, bounce, step, bounce, step, bounce, step, bounce, etc. Well, that's fine when you're just at a nice, quick walk, no worries. When I start jogging on the thing, it gets to be some SERIOUS booming. stepBOUNCEstepBOUNCEstepBOUNCEstepBOUNCE. It hurts my butt! Seriously, I feel like someone was punching on my damn butt and upper thighs when I get off. I explained it like this....You know how on Bay Watch they used slow motion to show the bouncing of those big chests as they ran across the sand? How would that look on high speed? They'd be knocking their damn boobs to bits. That's what happens with my butt. After he finished his coughing spasm (which sounded an awful lot like a lot of laughing coughs), Trainer-Man said that the extra bounce is actually helping me get more of a workout. My body is having to work extra hard to compensate for the bounce. "It's a good thing." So, sister-pears, get out there and BOUNCE baby! I've often wondered....they make sports bras to help the bounce up there, but why not sports-butt-bras? Yeah, that wouldn't be pretty, would it?

Actual KNITTING content, holy crap-a-moly

The camera was found. Here's proof of just how ugly a knitting addiction can become....I think I'll wear the sweater anyway because it's the only thing that got me over the serious late-night eating urges last week. The obsessive really REALLY fast knitting, the more the craving, the faster the needles. I was CRANKING baby. Scary thing is that I still have 3 times the amount of yarn needed for this in the stash. It just won't die. I thought maybe a shawl, but since it's worsted weight cotton, it'd be one heavy-ass shawl to wear around.

I tried to convince my daughter that she really looked cute in it and should wear it, but no go. "It's like, um, totally, um, not really my style." *sigh* Looks like it's me and the sweater now.

What do you think about Beth's modeling of the almost-completed cardi-bo-shrug? I think it's a keeper. If I ever figure out how to post a pdf downloadable file, I'll put up the pattern official-like for whomever wants to try it. If not, I'll just stick the details in a long, rambling post.

Words of wisdom from Trainer-Man: "If you really, really hate something, it's probably good for you." Damn. Back to the treadmill I went today. I really REALLY hate the treadmill. I run when I'm being chased, I run when there's a big sale ahead of me and other women closing in on the yarn, I run when I hear "CHOCOLATE", but I just don't run for fun. Fun it is not. Runner's high my ass. Apparently it isn't considered cardio for Trainer-Man unless you cycle through levels one by one from moderate hard-breathing and sweat pumping to heart-bursting and your mind has gone from watching the tv and actually reading the word captions at the bottom to watching the numbers move on the timer and when you hit :45 seconds your mind is screaming FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY MOVE MOVE MOVE FASTER DAMMIT or something like that, thinking it'll all be over soon. Just let me get back to level 5...that's it, MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!! That's cardio for me. It bites. It works, though, I am really seeing results, so I'm a believer, I'm just a grumpy one who's knitting her ass off.

I may actually have the roses top that was about 2 inches along and sitting in the drawer up until 2 days ago finished up any day now. I'm afraid this is another one of those "not gonna like it" things that I just can't stop myself from cranking along. Don't get me wrong, I love the top, I just did the pattern as is with these little eyelet holes all over the thing, and I don't think I like that part of it. I'd already gone about 2 inches into it and couldn't see frogging it out. Then, after knitting through crazy eating urges for an evening it was magically about 6 inches long and I couldn't damn well frog it then, so now I'm STILL knitting the thing, down to one and a half tiny balls of yarn left that probably won't be enough, still knitting my ass off. You think I'd stop and calculate how many inches each ball previously got me, wouldn't you? or FROG IT and start over without the damn eyelet holes. nope. not crazy-ass knitter-addict-woman. That would make sense.

Off to drink a protein shake. You know what's really scary? To REWARD myself for being so good and pumping my weights and running on the damn treadmill I got myself a treat. The treat was a strawberry & lime & vanilla soy protein shake (instead of the cruddy mocholate one I make at home). I was actually all happy and loving it until I realized, WTF is wrong with you woman???? How messed up is your world that a tasty treat is now something that gagged you a month ago? Do you see what healthy living can do to you?

Joey update: My son went in for another checkup on Jan 29th and they did more throat cultures and blood work and chest xrays and pft's (pulmonary function tests) and the works. Joey is 7 years old and has cystic fibrosis, a genetic lung and digestive disease and cultured an antibiotic-resistant bug called pseudomonas on Dec. 28th. Until then, he'd been the healthiest little cf kid in KC. You wouldn't have ever known anything was wrong with the kid. They put him on two oral antibiotics and two nebulized medications, one a super-antibiotic created to fight this infection. Normally the first time a cf kid cultures this and they hit it with all the big meds along with extra breathing therapy, it cultures very low the next month or doesn't even register. Joey just wasn't kicking it on his own. His xrays and pft's and oxygen levels looked good, but his right lung wasn't moving the air the way it should be. The infection's still there. It's much less, which is good, but the poor kid is just so tired all the time. No, not all the time, he's fine for about 3 or 4 hours, running around like a regular obnoxious little boy and then just drops and has no energy and moves like a slug, rests a bit, then back to obnoxious boy. The teachers and nurse at his school are SO AMAZING! He goes to the nurse's office to rest a bit and then either goes back to class or they call me to pick him up to take him home early when he just doesn't look quite right. Another nebulized breathing medicine and 1 more oral one added in are hopefully going to kick this thing. He's still not quite acting his usual self, so we'll see. He goes back for another checkup in another week. His cf team is being very aggressive, which I love. Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts. He really is an amazing kid.

The felting jeans

I found the driver cd for the camera, loaded it onto the computer, took more pictures of my frantic crazy must-not-eat knitting projects and then somehow we've lost the freaking camera. gone. Somewhere in the house.

I have decided that the cotton rainbow-ish green gables sweater really is the ugliest sweater on the face of the earth. I had my daughter Elizabeth try it on, just in case, and she said "oh, um, mom, this top part is cool, but, um, yeah, I'll just wait for that other sweater you're finishing up for me." Sweet little thing. I said, "It's a little bit ugly, huh?" and she said "OH GOSH YES mom, I didn't think you'd noticed." Ten years old and fashionista herself, but with a kind heart. The funny thing is I knew it was ugly as I was knitting it, but I just didn't care. I HAD to finish it. Nothing like a healthy obsession, is there? Ah well.

I pulled out my roses tank top again and am knitting on the edge on this one. I used substitute yarn, didn't buy enough the first time because I calculated wrong, went back and all but ONE MEASLY SKEIN was gone. nice. I'm going to be really down to the wire on this one. I may have to frog it, but I'm gonna knit to the last possible bit including frogging the swatch if I need to. Wish me luck.

Crazy-ass weight bet update... I tried to reason with Jeff, ok, only after trying to subliminally convince him that our d-day was March 31st instead of March 1st and he then figured it out. damn. I told him I am NOT going to mow the freaking lawn and will take whatever means necessary. He's all enjoying the hot little cute me so far and is really a sweatheart, so supportive along the way. That's great, but we have a really crappy lawnmower and he's kind of King-Of-the-Hill crazy about his lawn maintenance. There's more steps to getting the damn thing taken care of than you can imagine. Through all this eating healthy and taking vitamins and supplements and drinking 80+ ounces of water daily, my hair has gone on a growth spurt. It's just hit what you would call "long". He loves it. I told him if I get down to 4 pounds, I'm shaving my head. It's just hair, I'd be a cute hottie with a bald head. No worries. We bartered and he finally said he'd give me one pound. 126. I said, oh, but I have such thick hair, I'd swear it weighs 2 pounds at least. We'll see as time gets closer how much he wants to push it. I think if I'm holding the scissors in a threatening manner I may get my way. I did finally make a move in the right direction and am back on track. 138. That's only 12 pounds in three weeks. Maybe I should just do the damn thing the right way so I don't have to take any crap later.

No worries, I'm superwoman. Superbowl parties don't even phase me. NO beer, no mike's hard limeades (I've actually had to ban them from the house as I have no willpower when those things are involved. I think they are actually nectar from the malt-liquor fairies.), no chocolate chip cookies, no cakes, no chips, no dips, just plain old healthy veggies and chicken chili made by me so there was only healthy stuff inside.

Another fun thing? You know how I am now wearing my skinny jeans? Well, I am. I am loving that. I last wore them on Halloween as part of my costume because they were everloving tight. They are now my comfy jeans. I put them into the wash yesterday and pulled out the felting jeans. Everyone that felts should have some felting jeans. I've got 2 pair. These are jeans that provide good friction in the wash for felting. They are not skinny jeans. These are jeans you have given up all hope of ever wearing again. I was feeling a bit cocky (being superwoman and all) and thought wtf? Why not try them on? I WAS WEARING A PAIR OF SIZE 8 JEANS AND STILL BREATHING!!! They were a relaxed style so looser in the hips and butt, but I was WEARING them. OK, now, to let you know how long it's been since these jeans have been on the body, let me tell you they are ACID WASHED and TAPERED ANKLES from the freaking 1980's. PRE CHILDREN jeans people. Single Digit Jeans. I'm still not actually to that size as when I sat it was a bit tight on the tummy, but I'm proud of me anyway.

I felt like that character Bette Midler played, you remember? The one who was kidnapped and then she lost 30 pounds by doing pushups on her bed frame and lifting paint cans? The life changing moment when she and her captor were trying on formal gowns and such? It's also a kick that the only way I make it through my cardio workouts is to listen to her "Miss Otis Regrets" song over and over.

For those of you absolutely tired as hell of my details of the diet & workout & bet I apologize. I'll try very hard to get more knitterly but right now that's pretty much where my mind is. I've got to stay in "bring it on baby" attack mode to get through this challenge. I really want to get healthier before I turn 40 and this is the only way that's worked for me.

I learned something yesterday. (totally non-knitting post)

I had a good workout yesterday with my trainer. He's such a positive young thing, not yet broken by life. It's refreshing. He and his girlfriend are cute as bugs and not in an annoyingly cute way (I'm easily annoyed by cute, so this is impressive.) We were talking (ok HE was talking and I was alternately grunting, panting and gasping along in the conversation) about how the things you learn when working to make your body stronger also helps make your mind, soul and spirit stronger too. It's absolutely true. I had a very tough workout and did some things that are considered "intermediate" level instead of good old novice level. I was a serious weight pumping, core balancing woman. I amazed myself. It was incredible. I learned that I really can do whatever I put my mind and heart into and it empowered me. I almost roared and flexed at the end I was so pumped up.

(I also learned from a muscle-bound man at the gym that if I put a tablespoon of peanut butter into the chocolate protein shake, it's much more palatable. I've already sucked down half of my first one this morning and haven't even gritted my teeth once.)

The final thing I learned was last night during some rare quiet alone time. I've had about a week of funky depressed crazy emotions. I never realized how hard it must be for people living with depression on a daily basis. It hurt. Physically hurt. Mentally hurt. Spiritually hurt. I was amazed that it hurts your body to be upset as well. No real reason, just the entire world came crashing down upon me with all those details. Nothing big, just a million little things that all needed more attention than I had to give and I just ended up curled in a ball. Got up in the morning, cheerful for the kids, sent them to school, got through work and working out, cried, yelled, cried some more. Jeff was traveling and bless his heart, once he realized it wasn't just pms, he started calling three or four times a day just to tell me he loved me and no matter what, we'd be there for each other. I also re-read a lot of comments here on the blog and that helped more than I can say. I'm about 75% back.

Through all this I learned that I really AM strong. Not the strong like when you're a mother of a three year old and a 3 month old little baby and have $42 in the checking account and you're separated and starting a nasty divorce. "You'll be fine, you're strong." Not the strong like when your baby is diagnosed with a life-threatening disease. "Good thing you're his mom, you're strong." Whatever seemed to happen to me in life I always heard it, "We're not worried, you're strong." Those kind of strongs are the fake-it strongs. You get up in the morning, you make it through the day, you smile. a lot. But when no one's looking you curl up in a ball under a blanket and watch re-runs of the Walton's until you have to get up and smile some more at people. strong. You just get by.

That's not living. I don't know how people deal with that all the time. I've been so lucky in my life that I've only had little bouts of these hit me. This time was different. I finally realized that what other people have always said was right. I am strong. I can choose to get up in the morning, enjoy the sun shining on the cold-ass snow outside my window, look at the birds flying to the birdfeeder in the backyard, take a few moments in the day to say thank you for all that I have. I can quit bouncing around like a pinball in life, I can deal with a few things each day and the rest can just screw themselves or bounce around without me. I am strong.

Thank you for all the encouragement on my silly little bet. I do know that muscle weighs more than fat and that it's the size of your body and how it works and how it feels that matters rather than what a scale says. I know it, but I'm also quite stubborn. I'm not mowing the freaking grass. Not. Gonna. Happen. I also learned that I can sweat out 4.5 pounds in 20 minutes in the sauna. (temporary weight loss doesn't bother me. I'll just hop on the scale, have someone take my picture for proof and then drink some damn water after I win the bet.) I'm going to continue on my workout and eating program not just for the bet, but because I'm loving how I'm feeling. Heck, I even poo-ed three times in three days, a personal record of healthfulness. (Hey, TMI is a way of life here at the Knitting Virgin. If you're reading, you're likely to run into the not-pretty parts of life. sorry) Yesterday I didn't even mind putting on my swimsuit and going into the pool & sauna & hottub in public. I can't remember when I've not been embarrased. I'm not a hottie by any means, but I look better, walk taller and FEEL MORE ENERGY than I have since way, way back in time, long before children came into the picture.

Sorry for the long ramble, I just had to get it out of me and in print. It feels like things are completed once they're written down. Less scary and easier to deal with. Thanks for being there for me. I love reading along with all your lives and the comments from my blogging friends mean so much to me. You guys are the best.

1freaking41 pounds. 5 pounds the WRONG WAY *sigh*

Yes, wrong direction moving am I. (spoken like Yoda, we've been watching WAY TOO MUCH STAR WARS around here lately) You know, the fact that I started this bet in a galaxy far, far away in a time long, long ago doesn't really matter to me. I'm so a last-possible-minute kind of a girl, it's pathetic. Even though I had FOUR MONTHS to lose the weight, we all know I wasn't getting serious until the very end. Now I'm freaking out because I have the SHORTEST FREAKING MONTH as my last month. D-Day is March 1st. 28 days remain, oh crap, 27 days remain. Ah well. I'm actually seeing results now. I am wearing my skinny jeans today as I write this and I didn't even have to do the duck walk to get them zipped. I actually have about AN INCH room between the thighs and the denim material. I almost didn't want to take them off before going to bed because I was afraid it was a dream, I could wake up to my old thighs.

For the next 27 days, I'm gonna be a 6 times a day protein eating, running, sweating, weight pumping, knitting motherfuxxer! The knitting has REALLY helped me avoid my late night snacking. Seriously. I know I used to eat and knit before, but something has changed. I won't eat or drink anything but water while I knit now. It's a new rule I made that wasn't so hard to stick to. I have KNIT MY ASS OFF for the last week and found my little disk for the camera to load onto this computer, so pics should be coming soon.

I finished my socks that rock socks, finished one sleeve of Beth's bolero/shrug/cardigan thing, KNIT AN ENTIRE SWEATER FOR MYSELF the green gables done in that funky rainbow-ish hand-painted cotton I got last spring and it's quite possibly the ugliest, funkiest, strangest combinations of pooling and colors you've ever seen. It's so ugly I think I may like it. I was determined to NOT spend more money on yarn to get me through this crazy not-eating time so I'm trying to find stuff in the stash to use. I still have one and a half skeins of the stuff. There is some SERIOUS ugly cotton yarn in the stash still. What else, oh, I worked some more on a pair of socks for Jeff out of the barefoot sockyarn I got at Knit Wit's big Dec. 26th sale also.

The poor boy has been on my last nerve lately, so his socks haven't gotten much work done on them. It's not his fault, I've been a bundle of nerves, jitters, sugar-crazed denial and OH got an EXTRA WEEK of PMS half-period fun. I always heard when you lost serious weight and exercised fanatically you got LESS of that crap. OHHHH boy I've been fun. I actually burst into tears and threw this wooden heart frame against the wall because this little damn cross-stitched thing I'd made was moved onto the ground from Jeff's shelves full of crap shelves of nostalgic memories in the manly family room the other day. Mommy Dearest anyone? Holy crap. I think my body is changing at the cellular level from 98% sugar and diet coke to water and whatever the hell's supposed to be in there. It's truly scary.

141-125=16 Sixteen pounds in four weeks. No worries. right? RIGHT? sure. Got to go suck down another protein shake. You know, just because they call it "Chocolate Malt" and color it brown don't make it chocolate. I don't care how much the muscle laden guy and chic are smiling as they drink it. I call them "mocholate malts" remember Monica cooking mocholate crap on Friends?

Sorry for the whole tmi and overly fitness related posts lately, but that's my world. Friends don't let friends mow the lawn. Got to win the damn bet. I'll never live it down otherwise. I do love my man, but DAYAM he's a pain in the ass if I lose a bet.