Thursday, July 15, 2010

One step closer to a true hillbilly

Silly me. I thought once Mother Nature and I made friends, a weekend at the lake would be relaxing. Guess who pissed off the Tooth Fairy this time? I publicly apologize for telling my step-son to take his tooth that earned him $1 at our house to his mom's house to get his 10 cents over there as well. (The Tooth Fairy is a bit of a tightwad over there.) Apparently this is not approved behavior and I promise to never ever do it again. I crossed the fairy line and I've paid the price.

We've had a few interactions with this bitch fairy before....youngest step-son had his permanent front tooth knocked out of place and up his gumline and we spent most of the 4th of July in an ozarks hospital. It wasn't pretty. My son had his permanent front tooth snapped off into another kid's head during a freak running-about-playing-kickball incident last year. Also not pretty.

The newest incident was yours truly. Still HAVE my permanent front teeth, but they're loose. After dinner at the lake last weekend, I looked up as I pulled the chain from a light on the ceiling fan in the kitchen (20 foot high ceiling). BAM! CRASH! SHATTER SHATTER SHATTER TINKLE TINKLE TINKLE muffled cursing-sobbing-freaking out etc.

Holy crapamoly, they made things better in the 1960's. They made them to LAST. They made glass globes a 1/2 inch thick of HEAVY FREAKING GLASS. In a nutshell, it smashed me in the front teeth, knocked my four front teeth loosy goosy, it shattered after hitting the ground, SO glad it didn't shatter on my face (cause it was 1/2 inch THICK I guess). SO, 6 days later, I've only got ONE loose front tooth and none of them have turned black, so we think they're gonna be fine. They actually feel bruised now and I get a jolt when anything touches them, but it's healing as well as can be hoped. As much as my son thinks it'd be cool for mom to be able to spit through her teeth with her mouth shut, I'm thinking this ended for the best.

I have to say WOO HOO for my mother in law and husband. Husband kept all children at bay, cleaned the mess (more glass bits than you can imagine). Mother in law got me a frozen margarita in those pouches to hold OUTSIDE my mouth as an ice pack and one to put INSIDE my mouth as well. Yup, she rocks.

Why yes, that IS a crap ton of acrylic yarn on my carpet up on that opening photo. And yes, it is mine. And no, not nearly all of my acrylic stash either, that's just the most recent acquisition. Husband came home from a garage sale with bags and bags of yarn for me. I have to say, he did pretty well. Most of it is lion brand and there was very little that was hot pink and fur-like. Some has been donated, some crocheted, the pink hairy stuff was given to my teenaged daughter who proclaimed it was the coolest stuff she'd ever seen. I even gave it to her without shuddering noticably. I can't help it. I'm a true yarn snob with a secret love of crocheted acrylic granny squares. I draw the line at fun fur. It is neither fun, nor fur and gives me the heebie jeebies.

There was some non-hillbilly lake knitting...this beautiful hot orange/red hairy loveliness I dyed up. 50% mohair 50% alpaca. Heavenly hairy just-heavier-than-laceweight-too-light-for-fingering BRIGHT yarn is on its way to becoming Citron. Now it just looks like a blob, but it's got potential.

**Did anyone notice the plastic bag with the Studio's (LYS) flower symbol on it in the photo of acrylic yarn? I saw that first thing and got ALL KINDS of excited, thinking the husband brought me home GOOD YARN, but some heartless knitter out there emptied it of the good stuff and filled it with red heart. That's just cruel.

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