Friday, April 13, 2007

Goodbye Millie!

First of all I must state that I am totally an animal lover. I do love animals. I love this one. But sweet mother of moses, has it really only been 6 days since this pooping and chewing machine with bedroom eyes joined our family? I had my doubts that this farmdog could handle life in the city. Ok, the suburbs. I was not a happy camper that Jeff just brought her home without thinking of the consequences. After a moderate freakout session, and being loved by this beautiful creature, I resolved to try. very hard. very very hard. Holy shit, is our house even still standing? It must be being held up by stilts.

She's about 6 months old or so the vet said. She's got her shots, de-wormed, de-earmited, bathed and de-ticked, thank God it was too cold for fleas. She won't go to the bathroom OUTSIDE. No, she saves it all up for INSIDE. I even tried taking some carpet remnants OUTSIDE for her thinking maybe her rear end likes the feel of the carpet. nope. SO, 6 days times at least 2 poos a day and pees. She also chews and eats. A lot. Not always food things. She HAS chew toys, rawhide bones, you name it, she's got it. Oh, she chews those too, just also things like a box of matches that were on a high shelf (I swear she must have FLOWN THROUGH THE FREAKING AIR to get them down), easter baskets (thank GOD I'd already gotten the candy out of them), furniture, shoes, a new disc for my computer (left on top of my dresser in my bedroom and the door got left open for 5 freaking mintues all day and then I heard the CRUNCH), walls, carpet, toys, an entire box of doggie treats AND MOST OF THE BOX apparently not on a high enough shelf since the dog can fly, plastic bottles, you get the point. OH, the best one was Jeff's little extra hard-drive that you plug in to the computer. I'm not sure when she snuck that off the desk but I found her just getting started, so it may be saved.

What's that? Why didn't we keep her OUTDOORS more? Well, she also pushes through fences, can fit under them in spaces you swear a baby rabbit couldn't fit through. We staked down the entire fence. Then she just dug through them and used her teeth to pull them out until she could again be free. Rebar stakes through the fence just made her decide to climb over the fence. She can't jump over yet, she climbs and then just about hangs herself on her collar which gives me a total heart attack. She doesn't run to run away, she just wants to roam around and then comes back and sits patiently on the other side of the fence wagging her tail like "dude, wasn't that cool?" and can't figure out how to get back IN to the yard. We live near a slightly busy road and it gives me more heart attacks and neighbors have pulled her out of the street, called me saying "oh, we have Millie in our back yard." Then we go to pick her up and huh, she's not in their back yard EITHER but trotting down the street happy as a lark. She gets out within MINUTES. I mean you can sit there with her and watch her and then poof she's gone. Jeff finally realized we can't teach her to be a city dog, it's just not gonna happen. Not. Gonna. Happen.

We did find a guy down the road from Jeff's friend in the country near where she was dumped who said he'd take her as a farm dog. Thank Heaven. Now I'm just waiting for him to come and pick her up. The decision's made. Now I just have to clean up the poo until he gets here. I can't leave her in the back yard because then she'd be GONE when he came and he's not coming by again, this is a one chance only kind of a thing. Jeff said to leave her in the garage until then, but then she chews up the kids' bikes and boots and I'm afraid she'd get into some kind of chemicals stuff. I've got her mostly barricaded in ONE ROOM and Miles is hanging out with her so she seems happy.

My kitchen floor is covered with big ass muddy pawprints, my basement playroom smells like warmed up death and candles and febreeze and our house looks like a shambles. I'm going to be cleaning until the end of time to get this place back to looking like a home and not a giant chewtoy/toilet. Most of the toilet business was in our basement playroom so I'll be doing some carpet shampooing and a lot of cloroxing and airing out.

She really is the sweetest thing, when she's not chewing or pooping or climbing over fences. I feel like such a horrible person, but at least she has a home with LAND LAND LAND to run on and enjoy and there's kids there too. I just think on my skills list the whole "dog rescuer" box is not checked. Goodbye Millie.

I have knit almost NOTHING due to basically running around after this damned dog. I'm gonna clean and then knit. Knit like the wind.

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