Monday, June 08, 2009

THISCLOSE to merino roadkill

THANK YOU VERY MUCH OVERLAND PARK POLICE DEPARTMENT! No, really. Who else would give a ticket to someone in the midst of Friday afternoon rush-hour traffic in a spot where 2 busy highways intersect and there's about 6 exits AND construction has things down to one lane? I understand the whole charging-double-for-construction-zones and making money concept. Believe me. I paid double back before Xmas a few years back for a poorly marked construction speed trap to the city of Olathe.

As you can imagine, it was one of those bumper to bumper, traffic still flying afternoons. I had Jeff's 2nd sock with sharp metal hiya-hiya double point needles in my lap. (Before this story goes any further, let me point out that NO I was NOT knitting at the time. I only knit at stoplights unless it's a really straight long road and deserted, NEVER in rush-hour traffic.) Well, there I am, merging, looking over my shoulder, trying to fit my truck into the flying construction mess. Doing fine. When suddenly, tires are screaching, cars sliding, everyone everywhere is trying not to hit the person in front and not get hit by the person behind. IN A SINGLE LANE OF TRAFFIC. Ever so much fun. Well, apparently my super-mom-super-knitting instincts kicked in. In the 1.5 seconds of time I hit the brakes, swerved around the car in front of me onto the shoulder (did I mention we're also up in the air on one of those overhead curves of the highway so no where to go past the shoulder?) stiff-arm stopped the bag in the front seat (mommy-protecting-kid-style) and THREW MY SOCK OUT THE SUNROOF. Yes. The sunroof.

The very large UPS truck behind me missed my bumper by inches and ended up stopping just behind the car that was ahead of me. If I'd not swerved, I'd have been rear ended at a high speed for sure. I don't remember any of the things happening, just sat there panting, heart beating and noticing that there's a trail of sockyarn going from under the bag that I'd strong-arm-stopped out past my face above me through the sunroof. There was just this TINY bit of yarn left under the bag, thank goodness it had snagged or the damn thing probably would have flown through the air to the highway below and gotten run over by the multitudes on 435 West. I wound it back through and it was actually caught on my back bumper.

I've always been freaked out by stories of knitters falling and impaling themselves on knitting needles. Being a woman that both falls quite often and is usually carrying METAL pointy needles, this must have been knitter survival instincts kicking in. I don't know why I didn't think to throw it to the FLOOR of my truck or something, but hey. I'm alive and equally as important, the 2nd sock avoided becoming merino roadkill as well. One of the dpns is lost in action, but that's a small price to pay.

SO, after going outside to collect my sock, calming my heart back to a more normal pattern, I re-entered traffic and headed on home. WHAT was the cause of the whole sheBANG? Yup. The good old OP Police Department. Cripes almighty. MAN, if you didn't get thrown in jail for assaulting a police officer (where they don't let you KNIT by the way), I'd have sure enjoyed putting my foot up that cop's butt or at least poking him with a hiya-hiya a couple of times. Miraculously no one ended up in a wreck. Just a whole lot of tire screaching and squealing and swerving.

Poor little man-socks. I decided the trauma on both of us meant that they got moved up from stall-knitting and stoplight-knitting status to full completion-mode status. Pair #1 towards Jeff's Xmas present are now complete. Kitchenered the toe last night. *sigh*

And the socks I wasn't supposed to cast on until I'd finished man-socks pair #1? Well, I not only cast them on during the camping trip, but knit a whole sock. Koolaid dyed sockyarn. Fabulous.

The new stall-knitting/stoplight-knitting/baseball-game-sitting-knitting project is to complet the 2nd sock of my crazy hand-dyed sockyarn from the fall 08 Yarn School before I learned moderation in colors is a good thing.... (they're starting to grow on me now) Here's hoping they don't end up tossed out the window as well!

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