Friday, August 21, 2009

Back to our regularly scheduled program...

No worries people. This won't become one of those BUY MY YARNS PLEASE promotional blogs. Ok, I'm still gonna beg, but MOSTLY it'll be a log of how fiber seems to be the thin yarn of sanity knitting its way through the big bag of crazy that is my life.

So, the last time I rode a shopping cart it ended in disaster. Not normal-embarrassing-my-child stuff here, but eating pavement in front of the grocery store, laying ON MY FACE on the pavement with cans of beans rolling past my head kind of disaster. You'd think I'd have learned, wouldn't you? My last cart wreck occurred due to a combination of my clumsiness, cart weighing less than me (physics), and a big arse divot in the parking lot.

Well, I was leaving the Office Depot the other day on one of the few errands I can run for the office and get into the fresh air. I had a cart full of boxes of paper. Many, many, heavy boxes of paper. Physics...check! I had a slight downhill slant to my truck and the parking lot was full, so I was at the very end of it. Angle of descent....check! I had no children to embarrass. Bad Mother Avoidance....check! What woud you do? Really? I got a running start and WHOOOOOOOOOSH! I made it ALL THE WAY to the truck. I even was doing the leaning out to one side and then the other to STEER the cart. The wind was blowing in my hair...noises were rushing by my ears....including some kid panting and yelling, "Ma'am!...gasp....Ma'am!....gasp....Ma'am....gasp.....MA'AM PLEASE!" As I pulled up next to the passenger side door (still not touching the ground and steering with a serious lean off the side like they do in motorcycle races), quite proud of my cart riding prowess, I see this poor kid. Stumbling up next to me, out of breath and looking at me like a crazy woman. After catching his breath, he said, "My manager said I had to help you out with this paper, Ma'am!" I look back at the door and there's at least FIVE employees watching this scene. Ah cripes. Looks like I need to find a new office depot.

It's a good thing our family's not one of those reality tv shows, isn't it? My kids would just die.

My kids are a big help with the whole yarn business thing. OK, my DAUGHTER is a big help and the three boys are mostly in the way and being threatened that they STAY AWAY FROM THAT YARN WITH YOUR GATORADE/POPSICLE/GUM/STINKY SELVES! They do give good insight on color combo's, often based on pokemon characters. The discussion of just WHAT pokemon critter a certain yarn is or is not is enough to drive a woman to drink. The discussion never ends. For example, Elizabeth thought the following yarns should be "Halloweenie" and "Santa Fe Square" for the Native American jewelry sold there. Beautiful. The boys are still discussing the first one, but have decided the second is Seadra, a water pokemon of many, many skills, each of which was detailed for me. Repeatedly. I think I'll just stick with Lizzie.

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