Thursday, January 18, 2007

Lose-the-Bootie Camp, Knitter Style

Joey update: THANK GOD no more puking. Sometimes I think childbirth was easier than dealing with a barfing child. He's feeling much better today.

Six weeks from yesterday is my d-day. My bootie camp officially starts tomorrow.

Either way, SIX WEEKS LEFT. After my triumph of breaking the 140 barrier and getting to 138, I've been stuck. stuck stuck stuck. 138-142 every damn day. I need to get to 125 to win the bet. I mostly thought I could do it, but didn't really believe until yesterday. I ran into my old trainer at the gym. He's gone into business for himself and is creating a boot camp with another trainer to run in the spring. I'm going to be his guinney pig (sp?) and get cheap rates and he BELIEVES he REALLY DOES THINK I CAN DO IT!!! I've got to eat, sleep, breathe, work, sweat and drink lakes of water but I CAN DO ANYTHING FOR SIX WEEKS, right?. I've got workout day #1 tomorrow. I'm going to train 3 times a week with him, do cardio 6 times a week, and eat the diet he gives me. I'm going to NOT DRINK ANY BEERS OR MIKES HARD LIMEADES until March 2nd. Holy crap. He did tell me he's not taking away my diet coke. He said he's seen how much his girlfriend lives for hers, so I'm down to one a day. period. I even told him he can have one of my "before" pictures of me on the beach in shorts (quite scary I must say) and can use it for promotion of his boot camp, as long as we get the results we need and I have a totally hot "after" shot and good hair.

In addition to the training workouts, homework workouts and other crap, I can't sit on my butt knitting for hours on end. I just looked at him. I said, "You know, you can take away my beer, my limeades, my chocolate-coated everything. You take away my yarn, I might shrivel up and die, but only after I wrap you in yarn so tight you resemble a big-ass cocoon. Let's find another option, shall we?" SO we decided I may, in fact, sit on my ass and knit but not for more than 30 minutes at a time. Then I have to get up and JUMP ROPE for one set of commercials or 3 minutes. 30 minutes of knitting, commercials of squats, 30 minutes of knitting, commercials of deep knee bends, 30 minutes of knitting, plank yoga position where you alternate stretching out one arm and the opposite leg straight out in front of and behind you while not falling over and shaking mercilessly, 30 minutes of knitting.

I'm also supposed to go to bed and SLEEP and not stay up knitting into the night. I actually was able to turn off my light at 10pm and we went to sleep not too much later. Sex is always a nice way to burn calories, and Jeff is happily helping with that part of the equation.

My trainer called today just to say he was so excited and knows I can do it and to give me a cardio homework assignment to be ready for tomorrow.

He and another trainer are working on planning a boot camp for the spring but also should have some VERY REASONABLE (less than half what the best plan at the gyms I was looking at charge) individual and small group session pricing. They'll do most of the sessions near 135th and Nall in south Overland Park, KS. We could be workout buddies!!! Once the craziness is over, let me know if you want some info on these guys. I love that he takes my very own personal situation and sets things up for ME, not some cookie-cutter of what the standard should be.

OK, my personal fitness tip of the day...
BUY yourself an mp3 player of some sort. Get Meatloaf's Paradise by the Dashboard Lights. (make sure you don't accidentally buy some damn karioke version that SUCKS by mistake) Play it over & over while doing the quickstart on the eliptical machine. If you keep your feet moving to the beat, you get slow, fast, crazy fast, slower, fast, etc. throughout the song, mixing things up and keeping your muscles from getting used to anything. I can't seem to figure out how to do the pre-programmed workouts, plus I've got to have my feet moving to the beat or I fall over.

Get the American Idiot song from Green Day. Play it while cruising on the stair-master. In a 20 minute session you can easily go one mile while pumping to this music. I get the most burn not from just stepping to the music, no, anyone can do that. I do more of a step-bounce, step-bounce, step-bounce, step-bounce thing. If you really get cranking, you add a hip swing and pump your fists, it resembles a weird version of cross-country skiing. If you get going a bit too much, you may or may not make scary noises while the machine actually wobbles back and forth (which seems to scare the skinny minnies on the machines next to me).

Make sure before hitting "shuffle songs" that your children's music selection is NOT on your ipod. There's nothing worse than craking along on the stairmaster, hips swinging, arms pumping, sweat sweating, legs pumping and you hear the screams (I keep mine cranked LOUD while working out) of the hamster dance song from Radio Disney. I about fell off the damn machine.

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