Thursday, January 20, 2011

Thank God for 4 wheel drive, GPS's and mohair!

KC had another snowstorm hit yesterday afternoon. No biggie, right? It was a beautiful snow, falling straight down with the sun still slightly shining. I headed out for my drive home, which usually takes me 5 minutes with traffic. I sat in a long line of cars waiting to get out of the business park. I sat there. Patiently. Sat. Sat for about 20 minutes, then decided that since the highways were at a full stop and 90% of those ahead of me were surely trying to get onto those very highways I'd do the smart thing. I'd turn around and try the other way out of the compound. I edged forward, went over a small curb and headed the other way. A few trucks followed. No biggie.

Made it out of the office park and turned onto a main road that had a titch of a hill on it. Let's just say it took me another 40 minutes to make it half-way up that hill and ALMOST to the first turn-off into this strange little neighborhood full of hills & windy roads and almost no outlest. ALMOST. As in 3 lanes were blocked with various wrecks, stalled cars and cars spun out and stuck. There was ONE LANE left. The far right lane. That I was in. I just needed ONE MORE CAR to move forward a bit so I could turn off and wind my way past the crazies and make forward motion. Did I say that 30 of those 40 minutes were sitting at a dead SIT while the car ahead of me had 3 carlengths open ahead of her? BLOCKING my way off that road and out of the craziness? And that I was a bit low on gas? And that there was NO EMERGENCY KNITTING in the vehicle with me?

I very nicely got out of my truck, walked up to the car and tapped on her window. I asked her, nicely, if she'd mind moving up just a bit so I could get around her, PLEASE? She said no and rolled up her window. I stood there a minute. I knocked again and she sat there holding her steering wheel and not looking at me. I knocked louder. I began knocking and not stopping. Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knocking. and smiling. I'm a nice person, damnit. Finally she cracked the window and stated that she NEEDED that room to be able to get a running start at the rest of the hill. Of course by this time the REST OF THE WORLD was getting around us and blocking her running area from getting around the other wrecked & spun out cars, but I was blocked from that line by a van sitting sideways spinning its wheels.

I looked down to pull off my shoe (to beat it on her window in pure frustration and a titch of road rage) but alas. I was wearing my comfy wooly slipper shoes and a fluffy mohair sweater. The sweater's pattern name is SERENITY for cripes sake. Sweet mother mohair! I patted the mohair. It actually calmed me instantly. I realized I am a Knitter. I am a Spinner. I CREATE things. I wrangle mere fiber into string and that string into garments. I am all powerful. I am WEARING MOHAIR. I may or may not have roared.

I calmly walked back to my truck. I pushed the button to pull in my side mirrors. I revved up the engine. I went up over the curb, between the fire hydrant and the rather large wooden fence. I drove along the snow buried sidewalk and waved with ALL FIVE FINGERS (see how nice I am?) at the woman who was making me insane. I smiled. I drove up that hill on the sidewalk with maybe 4 inches of clearance between the truck and the fence. That sidewalk area was mounded with snow cleared from the last snowstorm we had, so my truck had some serious 4WD work getting up and around without flattening the fence. I turned onto the road, used my GPS and made it through the strange little neighborhood with ONE OUTLET and was on my happy way home. At least 4 other trucks followed suit. Although I'm pretty sure the one behind me only used one finger when waving at our friend.

The world is a safer place because I knit. I truly believe there would be less road rage if more people wore mohair. Happy goats, happy drivers.

PS, the destash is still going on. A bunch of yarn is on its way to new homes, but there's still a bit left. Click TreasureGoddess Destash to see if there's anything left that wants to come live in your stash!

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