Friday, September 07, 2007

The voices in my head

OK, it's more of ONE voice but she's quite vocal. I'm not Sybil, my voice is mostly harmless. Don't worry. I think it's because for most of my almost 39 years on this earth I've had the unfortunate habit of saying EXACTLY whatever pops into my head whether it's appropriate or not. This has provided more than a couple of interesting situations. I think my voice came about as a result of trying really hard to keep my mouth shut until after I think about what it is I'm about to spout out. I still go around inserting hand-knitted-sock-covered foot in mouth, but ONCE in a while the system works.

Anyway, my little voices have been quite active the last few days. Riding along in a carpool to the zoo with some other moms on our way to a field trip the woman driving asked if I knew how to get there. I said, "well, I always take I-435" and she said, "Oh, I don't believe in highways." I said, "Oh, I understand not wanting to drive on highways." She said, "no, I don't BELIEVE in highways." I couldn't even knit. I sat there with frozen hands and my mouth shut tight. Inside my head was a screaming, "but it's RIGHT OVER THERE! Can't you see it? The thing with all those cars and trucks driving on it? It's not the tooth fairy, IT'S A REAL ROAD MADE OF TAR AND EVERYTHING!" I just smiled, said "huh, you don't say" and picked up the sock needles.

Today I was in a mood that I just couldn't sit still and work any longer. I had to get out and knit somewhere. I took myself to a pizza shop in downtown OP. After eating a piece of pizza as advertised "as big as your face" I sat and lounged and read another chapter of EZ's Knitting Workshop, just enjoying the heck out of myself. As I walked out on the sidewalk towards my truck and saw an OP police car with lights a-flashing. I noticed the side of the car had "PARKING ENFORCEMENT" printed on its side. The siren started to sound. The voice in my head said "well Lawd-a-Mighty, it must be a parking enforcement emergency." (Apparently the voice in my head speaks like a southern belle when my belly's stuffed to bursting). Chuckling to myself, I begin to walk towards Yarn Shop & More to see if I can get another couple of skeins of a cascade 220 yarn I'd bought a while back. Then I realize the damn siren is for MY TRUCK! Apparently the sign that said 15 MINUTE PARKING and was directly in front of my windshield somehow didn't get noticed. The police-looking man (are Parking Enforcement Officers even cops?) came up and explained I'd been in a 15 minute zone for over 45 minutes. I said "WHAT? I didn't see anything about a 15 minute zone!" but it didn't matter. I passed the time waiting for him to complete his damn paperwork by working most of a slip stitch heel flap. The officer walked up and whistled, remarking on what good eyes I must have to work with such little thin dark yarn. I smiled politely. Then he said, "yeah, you'd have thought that would've helped you see that big parking sign, huh?" and handed me the $40 ticket. The voice suddenly turned from southern belle to white trash momma on the tv show cops. I think my brain even invented some new curse words today. I sat there for a while calming down and finishing up my heel flap. The officer finally came back and knocked on my window, asking when I was planning on vacating the 15 minute spot. I explained sweetly that I needed to finish "just one more row" and I'd be right on my way. Voice? She was saying "BITE ME Smartass, I'll leave when I damn well feel like I've knitted up $40 worth of heel flap." I like my voice.

Shedir update...Now I'm thinking maybe it would have been smarter to start my first cabling project with a project with maybe ONE cable that went straight up and down. Ah well. Why make life easier? I'd rather do something with 42 cables. Ok, so it's not quite that many but it damn well seems like it. I've given up (for now) on the whole cabling without a needle thing. Maybe someday in the future. I'm working with a little cable needle and can now see actual cabling action happening. Though the rate of knitting may mean that my aunt's hair all falls out and grows back in again before it's done, it'll get done somehow.

In another fit of startitis, I cast on for Tilia, the cover sweater in Elsebeth Lavold's Designer's Choice Book Eight in some golden silky wool from the stash. I'm about 7 repeats of the front done and am really liking the look of it.

And those voices in my head? Well, after my trying time with the parking enforcement officer and not finding any of the dye lot of cascade 220 at the yarn shop, I listened to the voice and drove myself out to Knit Wit's in Olathe. HOLY CRAPAMIGHTY it's like the sock yarn center of the universe now. Seriously. Claudia Handpaint, Crafty in a Good Way, Lucy Neatby semi-solids and her cool hand-painted colorways, Shi Bui, Schaefer Anne, Regia, Lorna's Laces, Mountain Colors, four other kinds I'm totally mind-blanking here but they were COOL. Holy crap. It's not my fault if the voices said BUY SOCK YARN!! YOU NEED MORE SOCK YARN!!! right? And I'm not totally single-white-female-ing Jo if I happen to buy the exact yarn she got for her birthday if I'm using a different pattern and I use it for a gift, right? It's the voice's fault, not mine! Now aren't we all glad my voices just say "buy sock yarn" and not "kill kill kill" like other voices?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...