Thursday, May 12, 2011

Snakes & Chickens in the suburbs

Any of you with averse reactions to snakes should click away now. I'll have happy yarny things drying and will have those photos soon. :)

We had a bit of excitement yesterday.

THIS 6 foot long thing

Tried to eat THESE

Until Outdoorsman did his usual amazing snake wrangling and then THIS CHILD disposed of the offending snake.

Outdoorsman was on a phone call with a client (he's a salesman by day, super-outdoorsman by the rest of the time) when he heard a mighty squawking coming from the "chicken coop" aka under the back porch. He sees this BIG ARSE black snake coming out from there. While STILL ON THE PHONE he goes out, picks up two logs from the wood pile and pins the snake. After hanging up from the sales call, he goes out and while it's hissing and rattling its tail and coiled and royally PISSED OFF, he manages to grab the thing by the back of the head. This snake is 5-6 feet long, coils part of itself around his arm until Outdoorsman does his traditional snake wrangling--aka stands there and whips the snake in a big circle above his head like a lasso...whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop and then lets it fly. It usually is dizzy and confused enough that it slithers off in a new direction. This one didn't get to slither off, but got its head removed.

I KNOW black snakes aren't poisonous and I KNOW they're good for your garden as they eat bugs and rodents and such. But they also eat SMALL CHICKENS which still happen to live in our suburban back yard. This big momma also has been laying hundreds of eggs and Jeff's been pulling out quite a few baby snakes from the creek at the end of our yard as our kids and all the neighborhood kids spend a LOT of time in those waters.

I come home from running errands and missed all the excitement. Before going into the house, I walk back in my espadrille wedge heeled shoes and was getting ready to open the door to see what had my chickies all freaking out and THERE WAS THE SNAKE STILL SLITHERING IN A PILE!!! Jeff thought the kids would want to see it, and left it there till after school. Apparently snakes are like chickens and still boogie around for a while without their heads. ICK ICK ICK. Let's just say I set a world record for high wedge heels up uneven turf and let out a mighty HOLY CRAP MOTHER FUXXER...... stream of cursing that would've made olympic history should it have been a sport.

My daughter who can't possibly be related to me (even though she does look pretty damn identical to me at that age) thought it was VERY COOL and even protested having to put on gloves to carry it out of the yard after school. Who the hell IS she?

Let's end this post on something happy. Something yarny. Something that doesn't try to eat my chickens or move independently of its head.

AAAHHHHHhhhhhhh that's better. Deep Teals worsted weight wool yarn hand dyed by moi. Isn't that better?

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