Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Friends don't let friends knit drunk, on a boat, in total darkness, while decreasing a toe, but apparently new husbands do

OK, so maybe not drunk, but seriously tipsy after two and a half strong pina coladas made with REAL coconut and lots of rum, yum! Yeah, I knit an ENTIRE toe of one sock in the dark while drinking and rocking on the boat in the dark. DARK dark. Only stars above dark. Impressed Jeff's aunt and uncle (the captain of the boat and his wife, also a captain) and impressed the hell out of myself as well. Until the next morning. Holy hell, I've never seen a more fugly piece of knitting in my LIFE! Entire two inches had to get ripped back out. But sitting on the boat watching the sunrise? Knitting on wollmeise? It doesn't get any better than that. I brought 2 skeins of wollmeise along for sock knitting and the best EVER knitting project bag from Carmen, aka Girley Purls. Oh and I was totally singing "Give me Two Pina for each hand..." the entire honeymoon. I know it. Yeah, I'm still singing that song.

The first night, before much limbo-ing and pina coladaing. I was actually carried under a LOW limbo pole by a large Bahama Man and I've got to say, that was something you don't see every day. Jeff's cousin has that pic on her camera, so I'll post it later.

My survivor-man, after throwing rocks up at the coconuts and gathering them as they fell. The man spent almost three hours beating these on sharp rocks until he got two of them peeled down to the final layer. We're going to use a drill to get to the coconut milk. I've heard the varieties out on that island either tasted like heaven or like stinky feet. Let's hope these are the angelic ones.

The sock that had two knitted toes. See what a little pina colada will get you?

A little deck walking. Can you believe the colors of the water?

OK, you KNOW he totally licked that thing, don't you? Claws and all. Jeff caught at least 4 crabs and almost pulled this giant crawfish out while we were snorkeling. He really IS Nature Boy. After a mild come-apart while snorkeling, I realized I truly am Nature-Over-There-Me-WAAAAAAYYYYYY-Over-Here Girl. My kind of snorkeling is where you float along, and say "Oh, how lovely, way down there, at least 50 feet away from me, is a beautiful creature. How about that?" THIS kind of snorkeling is more of the HOLY SHIT THESE THINGS ARE ALL TOUCHING ME!!!!! MAKE THEM STOP TOUCHING ME!!! Seriously, we were IN the fish. Beautiful fish, colorful fish but IN the freaking fish. INCHES from the damn reefs. I had the same freaking out feeling as when I was being eaten by the thousands of itty bitty ticks in the country last spring. Damn nature.

This starfish was left behind on a low tide, so apparently dead. It came home with us. It was also the color of my other pair of wollmeise socks that were completed on the honeymoon, therefore they will be called my Starfish Honeymoon Socks. It is now brown, still big and VERY smelly and will probably take 20 years to fully dry out.

These were knit while looking at this kind of a scene the ENTIRE week.

Are you tired of this long post and pictures yet? It's almost over, I promise. Stay with me, you HAVE to hear about the fishing! One morning we were anchored outside of a cut, where the Atlantic Ocean comes into the Sea of Abaco. I guess this means good fishing. Not being much of a fisherwoman, I figured I'd sit and knit and watch Jeff do his stuff like a good little wife. WELL, the man proceeded to set up some complicated crap on this super fishing pole, rigging up lures and smelly fish parts and the like. Then told me that after he got it all set up just so, I could HOLD THE POLE until something happened, where he, being the fisherman you see, would come and take the pole away. So I could be like a hook on a dock. Yeah, that'd be fun. After telling him just where and how he could put that fancy pole I walked up to the front of the boat.

I picked up this spool of fishing line that looked like a big spool of thread. It had two hooks on the ends and a sinker. I cut up some hotdog bits, dropped them into the water and BAM, BAM BAM BAM BAM! Every time it hit the water I was pulling out fish. Serious fish. Poor Jeff, his fancy pole and lures and funky floaty system didn't catch one damn thing. I caught over 18 fish. EIGHTEEN FISH! His uncle about wet himself laughing about it. Jeff would get to the other end of the boat, sit down with his pole and BAM I'd catch another one. Hell, I was even catching TWO AT A TIME! hotdog and hooks on a string, baby. High tech fishing. Jeff did catch a barracuda while we were sailing, but it dropped off before I could get a picture.

Jeff finally gave up the pole and figured I was catching dinner that night. After checking the book to see which ones were good for eating, we saw I was catching things called saucer eyed porgies, and grunts. About 6 different kinds of grunts. These things were beautiful, yellows and blues, stripes, polka dots, gorgeous. Oh, and why are they called grunts? They grunt like pigs while they're out of the water. I'm even holding Jeff's pole AND pulling fish out of the water at one point. Damn, that was fun.

Best. Trip. Ever.

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