3 days till show time and I've lost all sense and all forms of grammer to boot

I've officially reached the "I don't give a flying FUXX" stage now. I need to get care tags, business cards and the website done, and knit & felt 2 more icord handles, but anything else I wanted to do is now not gonna get did. nope. nohow. noway. Linings for the bags? nope. pretty order forms to take home printed with colored pictures of the bags/scarves they order? nope. I've just got to get organized, pick a project to work on the 8 hours of the show, and just give the FUXX up. period. Jeff told me last night he thinks I'll sell out totally. He even wanted me to take the fugly felted mishap bags I created when trying to find the right method for my felted groove bags. He is a sweet boy and is going to come give me breaks so I can eat and pee and other important things like that during the sale. I figure I've got about 20 items I can sell outright, 3 styles of bags I'll take orders on, one small, one medium and one big (just like the three little bears, huh?) and two styles of scarves to take orders on also. If nothing else, I'm really REALLY ready for Christmas with a buttload of knitted stuff to give out!

OH OH OH little miss Knitting Virgin can do something else knitterly and is very proud of herself! yes I is! Confession time....I could never make a center pull ball of yarn. I have had people show me, I have read the reams of entries on how to do this on the forums, I have read explanations on blogs and heard some weird things about thumbs, fingers, toilet paper tubes, kitchen mixers, and just gave up and always had monster balls rolling all over the damn place. SO, here's MY HIGHLY TECHNICAL VIRGIN VERSION OF MAKING A CENTER PULL BALL....wrap the yarn around your pointer and flip-off finger a bunch of times, at least 30 or so. Take that yarn off your fingers and wad it up with the tail sticking out a bit, keep your thumb on the tail as you wrap around and around and around making sure to keep that thumb sticking into a good-sized hole in the middle the entire time. You end up with a big ball with a little opening or soft-spot. When ready to use, pull out the wad and there you go. easy peasy. Ok, so this is totally retarded, but I was intimidated for MONTHS to even try this and was just so proud of myself when I saw how freaking easy it really was. Maybe there's another newer knitter out there that can try it too. If not, just chuckle and remember your own new knitting days.

How can I have flat hair when I have half of Beauty Brands supplies in my bathroom? I seriously have more than 18 different hair sprays/mousses/other crap to get volume and stop humidity. bullcrap. It's another hat day. I'm thinking I'm ready to go see Allegra the hair magician and tell her to just go crazy. I'm not quite sure if that's safe or not, to encourage her to go drastic, but I'm ready for a change. I think. maybe.

I put four noro skeins' worth of gas in the car yesterday. FOUR! I had to fill up my car THREE times last week. THREE TIMES FOUR IS TWELVE skeins of yarn that could have been added to my stash! dammit! At least prices are falling, just not as fast as they should be, but who said the energy market ever worked for consumers anyway??? Yes I know I'm driving an SUV and guzzling gas and not doing my part for conservation and no, I don't really care. I'm going to start walking the kids to school on Tues & Thurs mornings and mapping out my errands and stop running all over heck and back soon. not now. Now I'm just bitching as I fill up the tank.

OH and it was BOG day at the gym and I was so happy! (BOG=Big Ol Girl) There was chub wigglin as people jogged, chub sweating while we worked machines and chub straining to lift weights. The only cutsie-tootsies were the 2 chics in my group and our trainer. I felt right at home and full of love for the world.

Daughter Dentist update: OH MY GOD I love this dentist! If anyone's looking in the kc area for a pediatric dentist, let me know and I will send you details. Turns out the tooth just needed a bit of shaping and they're going to leave it in as it's not hurting her any longer and they don't want to do any unneccesary work as it's a baby molar. They did do a filling on a cavity while there. NO SHOTS necessary. WTF? They now use AIR and some malliable stuff and a weird light to cook it on and it DOESN'T HURT. no drills. no noises. no pain. I was utterly amazed. Beth was back at school smiling and could even eat right afterwards. I'm gonna talk with my dentist and maybe he can use the same stuff on me. San Antonio, I totally would be off the charts with the blood pressure thing. My dad laughed at my fears and told me he FELL ASLEEP the last time he was in the dentist's chair. I told him he was a freak of nature.

Drama Queen Jr

Well, wish me luck. I am taking my daughter to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. OOOOOOooooooweeeeee I can't wait. I have tried my hardest not to pass on my freakish dentist phobias to my children. We brush, we floss, we swish, we visit and get cleanings (ok they do, I'm still working up my courage for the next one in a month ugh). I would rather listen to a whole room full of kids screeching their fingernails on the chalkboard than hear a dentist's tootbrush whirring. freaks me out beyond belief. I can grit my teeth in a very calm looking way and smile encouragingly to the children while I'm a pool of cold sweat. (some seriously bad experiences with a childhood dentist who did a LOT of unneccessary work with minimal pain killers bad bad bad) ANYWAY, my daughter is a BIT of a dramatic person. I know, that's hard to imagine, but seriously. If the child has a papercut, we must do medicines, band-aids, and every time the finger is moved for the next few days there are those "ooooooohhhhhh" sighs. pitiful. She is also quite a screamer in the doctor's office. Now the pediatric dentist I found is the FREAKING BEST IN THE WORLD. I keep trying to convince him to work on adults, but so far no go. Last time she needed a cavity, she didn't even know he gave her a shot in the gum. It was amazing. Hopefully today will be like that, but I don't know. She has a broken baby molar and it's not loose at all. It's in pretty rough shape, so it has to come out. I've got my fingers crossed that he can pop it out without her feeling it as well. I can hope, can't I?

Took the kids over to the bf's house for grilled cheeseburgers for dinner, then helped him install some new lighting and check out his painted bathroom. Is there anything sexier than a man that can DO STUFF??? He came over after I put the kiddo's to bed and we snuggled and watched tv, a perfectly wonderful evening. He even admired each and every purse and scarf I'd compiled across the pool table instead of just saying "oh yeah, they're all nice" and blowing it off, he made neat comments and had good ideas about things for the future. One of his connections through the water/chemical world sent him some dye samples and we're going to try out some hand-dying of yarn after the big sale is all over and gone. Could be fun!

Remember, at 6pm eastern, 5pm central it's time for.....

Martha Martha Bo-Bartha, banana fanna fo fartha, fee fi mo artha, MARTHA!! I tell you, I'm just all crafty-inspired and wanting to decorate and create and COOK even. scary, I know it.

OK, have any of you done this or am I the only loser around here??? The kids and I were at the grocery store yesterday looking at the snacks aisle (the little debbie ho-ho's and such) when one of the moms of Beth's friends came by with her kids and they asked to have snacks. The mom made a face and I said "oh, honeys, we'll just make our own snacks at home, they're so much better than these." and the other mom agreed and used that too. My kids looked at me like "WTF woman?" and we snuck back and loaded up on the nutty bars and ding-dong/ho ho things when the other mom was gone. The other mom actually DOES make her own snacks and trail mix and cookies and such. so sad. I think I may actually have the kids help me make some cookies this weekend. snickerdoodles.....mmmmmmmm.....chocolate chips mmmmmmmmmmm

my accomplishments of the day

#1 Got to the gym for the women on weights class even though I was having a bad hair and bad attitude and tired morning.

#2 Not only did not fall down when running backwards on the track but was able to SPRINT the straights backwards and was not the poor slow chubby last by a mile one today! woooo hooooo

#3 Followed my resolution that I shouldn't be hating all those damn pretty rich skinny mommas with big hooters. That's not very nice or very healthy of me. So instead, I just really really really really really disliked them strongly. Except for one chicadee who is built like me but without the extra 40 lbs of chub on her lower half. She actually frightened me a bit, doing one-armed and then one-footed pushups and jumping rope like a robot. The first time I looked at her I thought, that could be me in a little while, then she started the pushups and I went "daaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnnnn" and thought, probably not in this lifetime.

That's it. only 3. sad, huh?

Ragweed's in full bloom in the midwest. How're you doin? sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff achOOOO achOOOO achOOOO

Off to work & knit & read blogs. All in all, not a bad day planned.

ALERT ALERT ALERT beep beep be beeep be beep beep
Martha's Back on TV each and every day!!!! It's on TLC (the learning channel) at 6pm eastern time. I was all excited yesterday and set up the vcr and forgot that I'm an idiot, so I recorded some other damn show instead of the first day of my Martha!!! dammit! SO today I've got things fixed. 5pm Central time, here I come!! I do love my Martha.

sung to the tune of "Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine"

Well, it's Sunday morning'
and my tummy's gurglin.
I'm full of burrito bowls,
guacamole, beans and rice.
Even sucked down spicy salsa
I can't stop fartin'.
I had too much Chipotle last night.....

Oh Chipotle, you are a friend of mine.
I love your guac and chips made fresh daily with lime.
Ah those burrito bowls, I scarf each and every bite.
You're my friend,
Your'e the best,
Mi amigo........

OK, so my apologies to Shelley West, I had my share of Sunday mornings bleary eyed and woozy from too many Jose Cuervo's and sang the real song (or whatever words I could remember at the time) many many many times.

So, I had a Chipotle disaster. Before this weekend, I hadn't had it for OVER A MONTH. Yes, my true addiction (third only to yarn and chocolate) was denied to me by a bad tummy experience. I ate lunch on the run from work to class and grabbed a hot dog at a Quick Trip wanna-be kind of gas station. It was a bad idea. think Big Bubba Butt germs or something. I think someone must have coughed on them or not washed their hands or something nasty as I wasn't feeling all that great. I never knew there was a Chipotle right around the corner from Borders, saw one, HAD to eat there, (remember I wasn't able to make it more than 2 days without filling up my salsa jones then) so I ate my regular BIG ASS chicken burrito bowl with guacamole, chips and diet coke. mmmmmm. BUT the bad lunch and spicy dinner combo ended with me barfing for most of the night. Then, just like Pavlov's dogs (remember psychology 101? the dogs drooled when they heard the bell ring from repetition and association or something like that?) well each time I smelled Chipotle, I wanted to hurl. OH MY HOLY HELL. It was horrible. I was greatly saddened. No, I really DON'T have a life that this stuff affects me so deeply. You should know that by now. ANYWAY, for the first time in a month and a half, Chipotle smelled ok. I walked in, tentatively ate a few bites, and it was heaven! I'M BACK BABY!!! (as George Costanza would say)

OH, and knitting my ASS off, cranked out 4, count them ONE TWO THREE FOUR, more bumpy schafer knit scarves. 6 days to go till sale day.

Survived big misunderstanding #1, or as I like to refer to it, BM#1 (OK, so I'm a total bathroom humor chic today, can't help it, I'm a dork) with the boyfriend. wooooooooooh boy. Not a big blowup, just both of us feeling cruddy and me being all weepy for a day or two and him not knowing why or what to do. PLUS we were both busy ourselves with work (yes I do occasionally put in a few hours) my class, and soccer schedules from HELL with the kids, playdates, etc. We finally spent a little time together and got everything straightened out. I love this man. He's so freaking gentle and concerned and hot & sexy too. mmmmm mmmmmm boy. PLUS he is fixing up my garage sale freebie cedar chest so I have a good place for my yarn.

I'm off to work, to class, back to work, to read blogs, to knit, to pick up kids......and somehow, I'm thinking a steak burrito bowl or maybe their new chicken salad is calling my name.......

this n that

Thanks for the go daddy recommendation. I'm checking it out and think it'll be perfect and save me time & money! I'm going to try to get organized enough to have it up and running by Monday.

What else? Yesterday I survived the hardest W.O.W. workout (women on weights) yet. We worked our living butts off. I pumped weights, I did the stinking balancing on a ball while lifting weights thing and even the dreaded standing on the half-ball on the ground while lifting weights and trying not to go flying off thing. We took "breaks" to run laps. woooo boy. Then we ran backwards on the straights and jogged the curves. more weights, then JUMP ROPING for 5 minutes then "sprinting" or in my case "sprint ladies, or Christine, just as fast as you can make it, ok?" cripes. Then "sasheying" then more backwards running. Did I mention I am not only out of shape, but unbelievably uncoordinated? My sashey's looked pretty much like a drunk cow but I didn't fall down this time when running backwards. Seriously, if this were a playground, this 36 yr old woman would be the dork chosen last. after the really fat kid picking his nose.

I've survived 4 days of eating mostly healthy. 4 whole days....didn't I start a few weeks before this? well, yes. I even did the sensible "remove temptation from the house" thing. No more double-stuff oreos in the house, no m&m's, no chocolate chip cookies or other goodies. SO, you think this would help, huh? This resulted in a craving so consuming that it ended with late-night tv, a big spoon, jar of peanut butter and half a bag of chocolate chips found in the way back of the fridge. uggggghhhhhh. I felt like one of those Lifetime shows' alcoholic momma's drinking up all the vanilla extract or something. ick. I think I'd better just buy some damn double stuff oreo's and try to behave myself by having TWO or THREE when the craving hits, as the denial and then satisfaction of the big craving can be a bitch.

OK knitting world, I'm almost afraid to ask this with the big show in a week. I know you can't sell items made from free patterns at a craft show. Can you sell items made from a pattern you have purchased? Or do I still need individual permission from the designers? Most of what I have is my own design, but I have a few things I'd like to sell that I bought the original pattern to make and can give credit to them on the items. Any ideas? I know you can't use patterns that specifically say "do not sell" listed on it, but what if it doesn't say anything? Also, how did I freaking miss that the new knitty's up??? OOOOOOhhhhhh I'm going to find a pattern JUST FOR ME after next week that I can start on. Can't wait, gotta go check out the fall issue NOW!

TIP FOR THE DAY..... If you go to Quick Trip or some other convenience store for a soft drink, make sure to pick a lid from the MIDDLE of the stack. Don't get the first one there. Just don't do it. I was behind Big Bubba this morning for the ritual first diet coke of the day. Big Bubba proceeded to start coughing up a lung, wiped his hand on his dirty jeans and then decided while there, why not scratch his butt. THEN Big Bubba accidentally picked up two lids, coughed again, THEN put the other nasty-ass butt-and-cough-germ-covered lid back on the shelf for the next unsuspecting person to come along and get. I did my patriotic duty and threw it and the next few lids touching that one into the trash, then picked my lid from the middle of the damn stack. ICK ICK ICK Don't start your day with Big Bubba Butt germs.

9 days of knitting left....

OH HOLY HELL. I've finally decided there's no freaking way to get ready for this stinking art show. None. What the FUXX was I thinking??? I've decided to display the crap I've got, take orders and if nothing else, I'll have a nice little table to sit at and knit from 11am to 7pm on Sunday the 18th. I'll have a website up soon with pics of my purses and scarves I'm selling so that if someone actually buys something, they can refer to it and send me more moolah for additional stuff. I thought it'd be more professional-like. I decided not to use my actual company name of "Treasure Goddess Creations" on the sign at the art show since it's a Jewish Festival and they probably frown on the whole Goddess thing in the midst of a religious festival promoting the arts and food and history of their traditional beliefs. I think I have something totally uninspired like "Christine's Hand Knit Creations" boooorrrrrinnggggg. Ah well. (see, before I was the Knitting Virgin, I was the Treasure Goddess, designing cross stitch & beading kits and painting needlepoint canvases. creativity just oozes from my pores. It can get a bit stinky sometimes with the sweat of stressing out over cranking out more more more ideas to meet goals that were too high and lofty in the first damn place...good thing I've never changed huh?) My goal for this next week is to get tags made for the inside of the bags, little business cards with the website and care instructions for taking care of my creations, knit a few more samples, OH and get a website up and running. no biggie, huh? I've already got the domain name of www.treasuregoddess.com (actually it's been under construction for about 3 years now) but I've got no where to host it. Anyone got a good cheap company to recommend for hosting a marginally business-like site? cheap? If not I'll go googling.

Here's some info on the Art Festival. There is an admission fee of either $5 or $7 and the center is charging a 20% fee to all the artists to support some artistic charity or other, so if anyone is interested in getting one of my stylish bags or funky scarves, just check out the website once it's up and running next week and let me know and that way you won't have to pay extra $$ for it. It is a fun festival, so if you want to go see lots of artsy-fartsy stuff, hear good music and eat eat eat eat eat and EAT, come by. It's right next to the Sprint complex in Overland Park, KS and you can say howdy to me.

So, last night, my daughter Beth and I are walking across the basement to go upstairs for bed when we see a spider so big it casts a shadow. a big shadow. I tell her to keep an eye on it and I go for a shoe. I shwack the thing, miss it and it freaking DISAPPEARS. In half an instant we're both standing on top of the pool table. regulation size (BIG ASS) pool table. She's freaking out, saying she will "never ever ever ever ever.....ever come back downstairs until that thing is gone!" I say "Oh, honey, that spider is more afraid of us than we are of him." She says "Mom, then why are we both standing on top of the pool table?" smart girl. The dog cornered the spider this morning before breakfast where I was able to schwack it three times with a rolled up magazine. THREE TIMES until it quit moving! It wasn't as big as that freaking HUGE wolf spider at Jeff's lake house shed, but it was the biggest damn spider we've seen in the basement here. ick. I've got goosebumps just remembering it. eeewwwwww.

Goodbye Bob Denver, you always made us smile.

Well, I survived the lake

I am not really a lake girl. I am a girl who occasionally goes to the lake. period. I'm not up for the sweating and tics and mosquitos and smelly water and stuff. I like to drink beer, drive seadoo's, fish a bit (without touching a fish or a minnow of course), relax, watch the kids swim around going crazy and drink beer. If I get a tan out of the deal that's ok too. I had my moments where I was thinking "WHAT THE FUXX WAS I THINKING" bringing Jeff and his two boys and me and my two kids to meet my parents at their lake house THREE HOURS away. It had its moments of pouty kids and grumpy parents, but for the most part we enjoyed life. THE BEST PART was that my daughter, little Elizabeth, wearing all things pink and with cute hair no less (very girly this weekend, must have been to make up for all the little testosterone-to-be floating in the air with all the boys) opened up a can of FISHING WHOOPASS on those boys. We went trolling (in a boat very slow with lines dragging along behind) (Trolling to me was what guys did in the college bars around 1:30am, trolling for the drunkest chics). ANYWAY, I went along to get some knitting done. After enduring all the cracks about how girls are bad luck on fishing expeditions (good ol' dad, sticking up for Beth saying that his mother and sisters were always the best fishermen in his family). WHO catches the fish????? Jeff's boys spouting off about what lures work best, girls can't fish, etc.??? NOPE my baby girl. Grandpa caught 3 little baby fishes not much bigger than the lures, Beth caught FOUR keeper white bass. FOUR baby. bang. bang. bang. bang. Jeff's boys? zilcho. Now, I'm not one to be mouthy and "I told you so..." ok, so I really am. But that day I was sympathetic and listened to the excuses of how their lures were actually bumping along the bottom of the lake or the wrong color or the wrong side of the boat and just nodded sagely. Quietly Beth and I did the girl power hand bump thing. yeah baby. My mom was all excited too but was a bit less politically correct about it. There was some OH YEAH GIRL... Good times.

I also finished two more purses ready for felting. I've FINALLY sent off my secret pal gift, hope she likes it. I LOVED it, but then I'm pretty easy to please. :)

Got to run, OH I also learned this morning that if you sign up for a free pilates class, GO PEE FIRST. You work and work and work those muscles until I almost wet myself. cripes. Loved the class, didn't love the price tag of $10/class. I think I'll just head over to jazzercise or do the free yoga classes at the center I belong to.

a somber post

I've watched too much cnn, or as Jeff's grandpa calls it "the c n and n". That's what it is to me now. It somehow sounds better that way, kind of like an old fashioned grocery store where everyone knows your name and the bag boys carry your bags to the car for you. Soothing. 1950's era patriotic, good citizen, Ward & June Cleaver kind of era.

God bless all those people down there. First of all, kudos to the Mississippi victims pulling together, helping one another, NOT SHOOTING AT RESCUERS. WTF is that? All our hearts go out to those people down south. Devastation can bring out the best in some people and in others the worst. It's horrifying to see. I can't read any more cn&n blog entries from journalists, I can't watch any more tv. I signed up to give blood. I know that doesn't help anyone down there now, but it's something I can do here for the greater good (and I have a HUGE dislike of needles, so that's a biggie for me) and it shows my children that there are things we can do to help people in need. We counted up the change the kids had and sent half to the red cross with some bucks from me as well. We added all the victims in our prayers. We talked about how lucky we are and how people help people. PEOPLE HELP PEOPLE. I left off the whole SOME people shoot at doctors, hospitals, rescue helicopters thing from the bedtime story. cripes.

Good luck to the national guard and police and rescue workers and citizens just trying to help. I just can't deal with all this third world country crap in our own land. It truly makes you thankful for what you have.

I'm going to pack for the lake trip this weekend. I'm going to hug my babies and love my man and enjoy my parents and knit and eat and fish and hide from reality in the backhills of Missouri. I will probably still watch the damn cn&n too, but not so much. I had to force myself to turn the tv off when I realized I was watching the same little lady with a blindfold on floating by on an airmattress followed by the same looters bashing in a store window every 4 minutes on a repeating cycle. That much repetition of bad images can black out the sunshine in your soul. Watch a little, thank whatever God you pray to for the good things in your life and to help those in need and turn off the damn tv and go sit in the sunshine for a while.

Later in the morning:
OK, so I went back to the cn&n this morning and listened to an interview with New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin and was very inspired. It sounds like he's a good man working his butt off to save lives and help those that need it. He was blatantly honest, may or may not be in hot trouble with his political peers, but POWER TO THAT MAN. He said what needed to be said and I'd vote for the man if I was able. Heck I'd vote a couple-of times for that man. Seriously, it's amazing how many people ARE working together down there. Lets hope getting the troops involved will help get people safe, fresh water, food and comfort. The actual interview is on the cnn homepage, I can't link directly to it, but here's the transcript. If you have the chance, listen to the actual interview as the emotion and frustration and hope and fear all come through so powerfully that it really is an experience. The end of the transcript doesn't show the choked up voices of the two men talking. I feel it is a positive message overall. They're just still trying to save lives.

To the politicians, don't look for blame, don't look for fame. Stop the press conferences and bs and just get these people some help.

I'm off to hug my babies and start stockpiling water. I know it goes bad after a while, I know a natural disaster would most likely wipe out the little plastic bottles anyway, but it makes me feel better. I don't even want to think about the fact that most of my son's medication would not be available. Can you imagine not just healthy people in need down there but those needing medication to live? oh. I've got to stop. I'm going to go hug someone and since I'm still down in this damn dungeon office with just me & bossman, it's about time to leave and find someone I can hug. now. you. go hug someone too. now. but not your bossman either. that's just wrong.

Editor's rant:
This was totally not meant to be a liberal political post blaming the administration. There's no way to blame anyone for something this huge. I'm just saying let's get what these people need NOW and not worry about the political ramifications until everyone's safe. You people that emailed me nasty sentiments GET OVER YOURSELVES, spend that time sending money to the red cross or PRAYING for someone instead of worrying about some opinionated chic in Kansas for God's sake. Plus, you don't get invited to my lake house. na na na naaaaaa naaaaaaa. See, I can be petty and immature too. For the love of all that is holy, I've only had the post up here for a couple of hours. What, do you people sit around googling for anti-whatever-you-believe-is-sacred sentiments here and have a little evil emailing empire going or what? PRAY for someone and help someone and BE NICE. YOU don't go hug someone. Everyone NORMAL and NICE, go hug someone.

cripes

Lest we forget this is a KNITTING blog...

Editor's note: I totally forgot the BEST part of the knitting package! I got Knitticisms, that FUNNY book filled with cool retro pics and little sayings and such!!! I had it in my purse immediately after opening the package, so it didn't make it into the picture, thanks secret pal!

Happy Dance! Secret Pal goodies arrived and I mean this chic knows her stuff! I LOVE IT!! I even love the bag and card! (My photo is not the best, so you'll have to look closely it's covered in butterflies and the card is now my daughter's property!) Let's see, COOL sheep tape measure (I'm ALWAYS freaking looking for a tape and hate to roll those old sewing tapes up!) Lotion that smells yummy, rose salve for healing all those little yarn/paper cut things I get on my fingers (LOVE LOVE LOVE that stuff), 3 skeins of very cool German washable sock yarn and THREE patterns including one for knitting two toe up socks at the SAME TIME (so maybe my feet will EACH have a sock this way--my lonely sockie still has no mate created), and my very favorite part is the cool little notepad with the C! It looks so early 1960's retro chic. THANK YOU!!! I love that my secret pal sends yarn AND patterns! I can just sit and knit!

Here's proof that I've actually been knitting my little fingers to the bone:
first pic is completed items in the last week and a half and the 2nd pic is what's on needles right now. BTW, kraft mac & cheese boxes make VERY good drying forms for small felted purses. It's my box of choice. Click the baby pics to see bigger pics.



Still loving my religion class through JCCC. I may just get myself graduated by December! Nothing like a 37 year old graduate, huh? By the time I get my teaching certificate, I'll be a 39 year old looking for a job. cripes.

A blue-hair flipped me the bird yesterday afternoon. An older lady with actual blue hair stuck flipped me off. WTF? I am the champion of old people. Old people love me. I'm an old soul in an almost-middle-aged body. Driving along, minding my own business, windows down, air conditioning on, music up, singing along to meatloaf "will you love me?.....will you love me forever, do you need me? will you never leave me? will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? will you take me away? will you make me your wife? I GOTTA KNOW RIGHT NOW.....BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER DO YOU LOVE ME????? WILL YOU LOVE ME FOREVERRRRRRRR" [OK I apologize, I had to get that out of my system. now may you all be cursed by having that song in YOUR heads all damn day!] ANYWAY, there's some road construction up ahead, lanes merge, I slow to let Grandma Moses in ahead of me as any nice young person would do. She won't go. She slows down. I slow down. You know the story. I finally stop and wave her in. She FLIPS ME OFF. and mouths something to boot. nice one granny. I turn up the music, go off singing my song. "I'll never break my promise or forget my vow....but God only knows what I can do right now, I'm praying for the end of time....it's all that I can do ooooo ooooooo...praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you......" It was long ago and it was far away and it was so much better than it is today......EVERYBODY SING!!!!

I'm sure I probably missed a few words there, but I've got a serious case of lyricosis. My old boyfriend from college was a total perfectionist and I used to drive him insane. I remember one time Jildo and I were driving to KC with Deaner (his fraternity nickname) and we were in rare form. He was pissy at me for some reason or other (he was ALWAYS pissy with me) and I'd told Jill how much it pissed him off when I got words wrong on songs so when the song "Big Ol Jet Airliner..." came on the radio, we both belted out "Big ol jet had a light on....." like nothing was wrong. I think I almost wet my pants that day trying not to laugh. I've never seen a man get so red that he turned purple before. Ah Jildo, those were the good ol' days! We haven't pissed anyone off or caused any fights in years. 7 foot tall O.U. Basketball stars, army and navy rotc guys, tke's vs. well everyone, man when did we get old and boring?

Also, Miss San Antonio, I almost snorted a cheerio out of my nose this morning when I saw you were Bill Clinton on the quiz. That's the most appropriate thing I've head yet this am miss Violet!

a good waste of time

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

owww

shin splints suck. How can jog/walking HALF A MILE give you shin splints? OH, yeah, being LAZY for the last few months would do that.

I've been reading all my bloggeroo's out there, but haven't had time to comment, so you are all going to get those week-long synopsis comments from me.

OH my secret pal struck again and I mean this chic sent some GOOD STUFF!!! Pics and details tomorrow I promise. My kids were even jumping around going nuts and Beth ran off with the COOLEST card with little flowers cut & sewn all over it. I think we're going to frame it and put it in her bedroom as it goes with the funky flower girl power theme she's got started in there. THANKS SECRET PAL!!! I FINALLY got my package ready to go to my pal, good thing she seems to be a patient woman.

OK, I'm a total KC fan. I love the chiefs, I love the royals. Yes, the poor boys in blue. Actually, the multi-millionaire boys in blue. BUT David Letterman did have a funny zing the other night. He was congratulating the Hawaiian baseball team that won the little league world series and he said they beat the KC Royals. hah. sorry guys. Ok, so it was funnier when he said it, but it actually made me snort a piece of popcorn half-way out my nose. ick.

How wrong is it that I thought of all those women down south in Katrina-land not only losing their homes, pictures and possessions but their STASHES too? During times of great stress, my knitting brings me a kind of meditative peace to help deal with big issues. Maybe we should do a "send some stash south" campaign or something once people get rebuilding? We'd probably have to change the name, though, or a buncha druggies would be getting all excited about the wrong kind of "stash."

OK, man update. You gotta fall for a guy who can fix stuff. seriously. I went garage sale-ing with the kids Sat. and found a FREE cedar chest that had a few cracks and a broken top and was painted hideously OLD LADY PINK. But it was FREE and it was CEDAR and I thought.....mmmmmmm......potential yarn home...... and dumped it at my bf's house for him to let me know if it was save-able or not. I told him I'd do the refinishing if he'd tell me if he could fix the wood parts or not. He's ALREADY taken it apart, cleaned it and started replacing the wood and stipping the icky paint. I likee my man.

W.O.W. women on weights class started today

ooooofffff. Does that sum it up? WOW is right. I have this membership to the J center, so I thought I'd get my lazy butt moving again. Tues and Thurs mornings. ooooooffff oooooooffff ooooooooofffffffffffffff

SO, did you know those cute giant bouncy balls in gyms are implements of Satan? Did ya? You just THINK they're cute because they're powder blue and purple and soothing green. APPARENTLY you have to have a bit of balance and grace to do this shXt. SO, I'm actually doing good. I get there and make a little friend, lets call her Darcie. Darcie and I make it through the leg machines, the chest machines and all the rest of the free weights. We are working out with some SERIOUS weight lifting rich mommas with nothing better to do than make their butts even tighter and boobs lift even higher. I was trying REALLY hard not to hate them, but COME ON PEOPLE!!!!! Boobs should not be that perky that early in the morning. Actually, NOTHING should be perky that early in the morning. Darcie was cute and fun, but I didn't hold it against her as she also had a touch of sarcasm.

ANYWAY, back to the balls of hell. The first exercise wasn't too bad. I had one foot on the floor, one knee and one hand on the ball and did rows (like bending over and starting your lawnmower but pulling a weight). Not too shabby. A little wobblin, got the job done. We went on to other stuff and back to the balls with situp things on them. Also a touch of wobbling, but I'm getting cocky. I've mastered the bouncy balls. I am queen of weights. THEN cute weight training blondie shows me how to lean my belly on the ball, stabilize it with my toes on the ground, put my hands behind my head and do reverse situps (relax the belly over the ball, then lift up backwards) and I FALL OFF THE FREAKING BALL. onto the floor. seriously. I try again, my feet slide out, body rolls forward and this time I was quick enough to catch myself with my hands before literally kissing the floor. huh. Blondie came running over and "oooh, this happens once in a while, don't worry...use the stabilizer ball" This is the ball they use for the old ladies. It has things sticking out of it. It looks like a giant udder of a cow with teats all over one side. I get back on the big boy, grab ahold of the udders with a hand to stabilize myself and repeat the performance of almost hitting the ground. APPARENTLY the udder/teat looking things are to go ON THE GROUND and it helps you balance. Lets just say I was glad when that crap was over. Darcie and I ended up jogging/walking about a half mile before we both decided enough of that crap for one day.

Last night I was a knitting felting factory. I finished three more little bags that I'd needed a handle for, or to sew in ends, or just to felt. I was deeply disappointed in one big bag, but the others are turning out pretty cute. I'll take a pic once everything's out and drying. I couldn't figure out why it was taking so long for some of my noro bags to felt and I realized I have a button for AUTOMATIC TEMPERATURE CONTROL, hence totally keeping the water from getting too hot. jeez. I think I wasted at least half a pond's natural environment sending water through that damn machine all evening.

OH, I am SO BUYING THIS SHIRT!!! Friends don't let friends knit UGLY from you knit what? Nice one ladies! OK, all together now, "U G L Y, You ain't got no alibi, you ugly, yeah yeah you ugly!" Just say no to ugly. Coming from a chic who has YET to actually WEAR a sweater-type item she's knit so beggars can't be choosers, but ah well. I've knit my share of furry ugly things too.

Holy crap, there's PEOPLE out there!

OK, so we bloggers are comfy. Sitting at home or work (for those of you with no moral fiber whatsoever *smirk*) just typing away, saying whatever comes into our heads without really interacting with the world outside. When BAM walking along, spending budgeted grocery money on yarn, you run SMACK into someone that RECOGNIZES you! I was at the Yarn Shop & More on Sat. with both kids in tow. On the way out, I had this cute little chicadee come up and ask if I were Christine? I'm thinking "oh crap, who's husband did I flirt with now?" but no! It was a BLOGGER from Florida, up visiting a friend in KC!!! It was the coolest thing EVER. My first blog-sighting. I'm telling you, this made my whole weekend. I was all giddy and goofy and such! I would've hugged the girl, but couldn't as I was a bit stinky and funky haired and icky. (Went out to the casino with my best friend Jildo the night before, got up too early with the kids and Jeff and made pancakes for breakfast, went garage-sale-ing with kids and had only a few minutes to get to the LYS before they closed and before I had to drop off Beth for a sleep-over, so NO SHOWER and I was all sweaty from KC humidity ON TOP of the left-over casino stank smell from the night before. I did at least brush my teeth, so I wasn't a total pirhanna.)

ANYWAY, Tampa blogger, you need to email me your blog link so I can catch up on what you're knitting down south! I know you told me, but if you have EVER read this blog, you'll know I'm not the more organized person in the world. Consider yourself virtually hugged, lady!

OK, one saving grace was that my kids were being pretty good in the shop. I may have stank, but at least we weren't having "a mommy melt-down moment". You know those moments, where you have no patience left, it doesn't matter that it's in public, you are down to the kiddo's level, threatening them with all kinds of horrible fates or being a royal biotch or something embarrasing like that when you run into someone you know. Not that I've ever done that, nope.

SO, now that I'm feeling all famous and such, back to regular updates on the life and times of the Knitting Virgin....Friday night I got to go catch up with my best friend in the world, Jildo. I love you babe. Jeff and his brother-in-law were doing "dad duty" and the kids and I stayed over Friday night and woke up to Jeff cooking pancakes. Then he went his way with the boys and I went my way with the redheads.

Sat. night Beth went to a sleepover with a friend, so Joey and I had our own sleepover. I was still all happy and loopy and somehow agreed to take the kid to Chuck E Cheese's. I FREAKING HATE THAT PLACE. It's like like a kiddy crack rave for munchkins. I thought, oh, we'll just run to the local one off Metcalf. Yeah. First, half of the machines were broken. Then, Mr. and Mrs. Grabby-Hands were making sure no other children played the games their little kids were getting ready to play. Not like Joey was cutting anyone off here, no. We'd wait until a kid got done, stick our tokens in and rack up the worthless tickets. NO, these parents were holding places with their FEET while their kids played OTHER GAMES. The man actually pulled my child out of the way so his kid could walk over from another game. I about smacked him. Then I saw his wife looked like a white George Foreman AFTER he quit fighting and got all big but still looks really tough and thought better of it. We got out of there in under an hour, my personal record. Joey had fun, collected his crap to add to the other worthless plastic crap "treasures" and was all happy.

We go home, watch the chiefs play on tv. Jeff took his boys to the game and I knew they had seats right in the end-zone, so I knew to look for them. TONY FREAKING GONZALES hopped up and handed the touchdown football to Jeff's older boy. SWEAR TO GOD. Right there, handed it to the blond spiky headed kid. TOO COOL. We've all watched the replay of the tape now at least 10 times, HOW COOL IS THAT?????

I knitted and knitted and knitted and knitted in a bit of a frenzy all weekend. I even did a PROVISIONAL CAST-ON, impressed? Basically you crochet a chain and pick up stitches from it and then weave the thing together when you're done. I was so impressing myself. I woke up Sunday morning, knitting away and knitted myself a migraine. great. No more knitting for me. Imitrix pills are my friends!! I laid around like a dead thing and Jeff came to visit and took all the kids downstairs and let them run around for a while to give me a break. I felt better towards evening and we went and ate grilled steak and mashed potatoes with his folks and his sister's family. It was a beautiful night, kids playing kickball and baseball and we sat in the screened-in porch with the ceiling fan running and just being all peaceful. All in all, a great weekend was had by all.

Working in the rain....just working in the rain

Now, who wouldn't want to be in a damp basement office during this non-ending rain every day weather? huh? I have quite the little roly-poly graveyard going on behind my desk and there's a whole family reunion of crickets somewhere around the corner just chirping their hearts out. Actually I'm sitting here finishing my breakfast of champions aka diet coke and chocolate zingers. mmmmmm. OK, see my women on weights class and jazzercise is all set to start NEXT WEEK, so this week momma's enjoying the finer things in life. Plus I'm pms-ing and chocolate craving BIGTIME. The only saving grace was the little quick shop thing was out of the bonus extra large zinger pack.

OH, my baby bro (the cutie who just got married and lives in Naples, FL) sent an email around to let us working people know their office is closed for the hurricane today. He said he's had more PAID hurricane days in the last year than he ever had as snow days as a kid in KS. Must be rough. Thanks for rubbing it in bro.

rain, rain, go away.... Getting tired of the wet stuff. It's not like it just RAINS all the time, that would be ok. I kinda like rainy days once in a while. I hate the drizzle, keep everything soaked and moldy and wet crap. We ended up with the strangest mushrooms growing in the backyard along with the regular toad-stool looking things. These things started out as small balls with surface that looked like brains. creepy. They grew within HOURS and by the end of the day were the size of small baseballs. Just big ol' balls. Miles the dog kept sniffing at them, so I kicked them up and threw them into the creek and they were really dense and heavy. Last night my doggie was just laying around and kind of wobbled drunkenly around towards the water dish. I took him outdoors and saw there were a few bite marks on one of the now softball sized mushroom balls I had missed. My dog was totally stoned on shrooms. poor thing. I got rid of the rest of the balls and the dog slept VERY WELL last night. He's acting normally today, so hopefully no more stoned doggie.

Lion Brand's coming out with 100% wool that's feltable. When's it hitting the stores? I wonder if it'll be cheaper than cascade??? Time will tell. It seems to come in some nice colors. Could be cool.

Miss San Antonio, there's a big knit/crochet event in your hometown! Knit-Out Crochet Too is at the San Antonio Central Library on Sat. Sept 17th from 9am-2pm teaching anyone that wants to learn either craft for free. You should take your little liberal friend over and check it out!

Anyone have sinus problems out there? Check out this stuff! My little Joey is now doing inhaled antibiotics through this cool Sinu-neb nebulizer. It's a bit of a pain as it is 3x a day and it smells icky, but he's a trooper. It's ALREADY made a difference and he sounds less "chuckie-like" (chuckie from rugrats, not the psycho murdering doll critter) after only 2 days. Only thing is that it adds to the crap he's already got to put up with, meds taken daily (26 pills, 3 liquids, 1 nose spray and 2 vitamins), 2 shaking treatments, 3 sinu-neb breathing treatments, sinus flushes and 1 lung breathing treatment. I swear I thought I'd never get out of the house today, hence the curlers and makeup application at the office. I guess I'll just have to get up EARLIER from here out. cripes. At least the little monsters didn't wake me until 6:15 today. If I would've got my lazy butt out of bed THEN I'd have been doing great. I think I stumbled out at 6:45 and tried to feed Beth the pills Joey takes with all his meals. They both went "MOOOOOO-OOOOOM" and rolled their eyes. I'm dangerous early in the am. The doping the child all damn day plan takes time, but each of the meds really seems to be working and everyone on the cf team is careful to make sure they all work together. We're hoping to scale back on a few of the sinus meds if the new inhaled antibiotics work. He really is a healthy happy little guy, there's just a lot of chemicals in the kid.

Beth told me she's now in charge of getting the cereal each morning to help and Joey wants to set the table. Sounds sweet, doesn't it? It's not so much that they want to help, but that the last few mornings I've given the wrong cereal to the wrong kids in the *gasp* wrong bowls. Can't just hand the bowls to the other kids, nope. Apparently the RED plastic bowl is for Joey, the cheerio eater and the PURPLE plastic bowl is for Beth, the fruit loop eater. Sometimes they decide to switch cereals, but never the bowls. I think they do it just to f*ck with me when I'm tired. Ah well. Cereal is now taken care of. The less I have to do early in the am the better. Yesterday I gave myself a curling-iron hickie. slipped and dropped the curling iron and got a nice little red mark on the ol throat. sweet. I was not brought into this world to be a morning person. I was born at 3pm and my momma was told by her doctor to drink a glass of beer each evening when she breastfed me to help her "let down". Late afternoons and drinking beer. It's ingrained in my soul. aka not my fault.

my honey

SO, Jasper's is now our official restaurant of love.... I love that place! Of couse, the food was to die for, yummy yummy yummy. We did the special $25/person dinner thing and it was SO GOOD. Part of the $$ goes to feed the hungry right here in the US and Canada and the dinner would normally cost you upwards of $50/person. It's still going on tonight, so if you're in the KC area, get yourself there. I ate for about an hour and a half straight. The dessert was this amazing peach fluffy pastry with custard thingy and it was SO GOOD. Jeff is not a sweets eater (how does that happen?) and so he picked a few peaches out of one of the desserts and I ate the entire thing AND have the other one in the fridge for later today. mmmmmmmmm. We had the sweetest waiter in the world, this guy, Anthony, was all smiles and I mean GOOD service! We drank wine, we ate salmnon, chicken, sausages, amazing veggie salads with some marinade that ALMOST made me want to cook sometime, desserts, and this cool after-dinner lemon cello drink that they make in the back. I'm sure I'm spelling it wrong, but it was yummy.

NOW my honey and I have come to the conclusion that we are meant to be together. forever. All together now, AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW. I keep getting asked "where did you find him?" Well, you have to have a crappy-ass first marriage, horrible divorce, a little fun while sowing your wild oats again, and more crap to put up with. Throw in a psycho Kenny Rogers look-alike married guy, a few stalkers and lose all hope of ever falling in love. Then, make friends with two pushy older ladies that have your best interests at heart. Then open your eyes and your man will magically appear.

I wouldn't trade my life and those experiences for anything. They've made me who I am. They also make me appreciate when good things happen in life. I want to thank my good friends, family and my honey for being a part of my life. (You bloggers are included in the good friends here so thanks!) Seriously, life is good.

SO, back to the "together forever" thing, startled you, huh? Yup. I'm NOT going to jump into any new marriage thing, but it looks like we're talking about moving in together and making a big ass brady bunch of a family. Maybe this summer, we'll see. After a bit of time goes by and we make sure of things, we'll maybe do the M-thing. But quietly. with a big-ass party afterwards.

HOPEFULLY we won't all stress out and kill each other bringing his kids and my kids to my folks' lake house for Labor Day weekend. My folks don't have a normal lake house. We used to have a normal lake house. This is their home they're going to retire to, so it has all the nice stuff in it. Nice, breakable stuff. Lots of it. I'm thinking we'd better spend a LOT of time in the lake, on the docks and on the boats.

JILDO'S COMING TO TOWN!!! My very best friend is coming to town this weekend and I can't wait to see her! WOO HOO lady! Those makeup and perfume counters at Dillard's should be smokin' soon! OH, Lancombe is having their free gift now. Let me know if anyone hears when Clinique has their next free gift. I need more eye makeup remover. I'm still TOTALLY loving my bare escentuals mineral crap. LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

I also LOVE my religion class, who'd of thunk it??? The professor is this COOL, funny, interesting guy and after the 2nd chapter of the textbook it no longer makes you want to stick pencils in your eyes. NO BUSY WORK WHATSOEVER!! Can I get a woo hoo? WOO HOO! We just have to be ready to discuss stuff, do a mid term and final and two projects where you go to a religion different than yours and attend 3 services or functions and report on it. I'm going BUDDAH baby. There's a cool temple down on SW Boulevard I've heard of and am going to check it out. The class is through JCCC but is taught at a MALL. Next to Dillards. OK, so it's the Mission Mall, which is pretty lame, but STILL in a mall 3 times a week. Heaven must be something like this.

Gotta quit typing as my little fingers are shriveling up. Plus I'm hungry and the peach fluffy dessert is calling my name for breakfast. Hey, there's fruit in there, so it works.

Another hot date

SO, tonight's the night we head back to Jasper's for their DiRona Week special dinner. Should be yummy and I'll give details tomorrow. My honey has the romantic "table 10" reserved and we're doing the get-all-dressed-up thing as well. Last time it was so cute. Jeff was actually kind of nervous at first like a real date. Turns out the mood, the food, the conversation, THE WINE all got him to realize he's in love with me and the next day was when he told me the first time. That restaurant has a special place in my heart because of that. (And their tirimisu is to DIE FOR which doesn't hurt either.)

What else is going on around here? OH LORDY LORDY LORDY how did I have two HAPPY FREAKING MORNING CHILDREN??????? Everything was going well the first couple of days of school last week. I'd get up at 7am, wake both kids and they'd struggle out of bed, put on clothes, go to the bathroom, brush teeth, etc. while I took a shower. We'd head out and they'd eat breakfast while I got ready, we packed up and got to school right on time. Then Monday dawned a bit BEFORE dawn. 6am. Both of them wide freaking awake. LOUD awake. Not ignorable awake. I stumbled around, growled all morning, tried my best not to fall back asleep after everyone was dressed and ready. Tuesday am. 5:30. YES FIVE FREAKING THIRTY am. I was NOT a happy momma. A bit of threatening was done. I stayed in bed amidst fighting about who dropped whose shirt on the ground, who squirted whose toothpaste on the wrong toothbrush and other lovely topics. You know how depressing it is to realize the eye makeup remover isn't faulty, your skin under your eyes is black because it's DYING from lack of sleep???? wow. A nap is in the plans for this afternoon before my date with my honey. You KNOW you're too tired when your hard pressed wood desk with the trim stapled and scotch taped together is looking quite comfy.

I've got my tote bag packed for my class. New spiral notebook, pen, book, KNITTING. Gotta have that. I don't think I'll get away with knitting in class, but I should be able to get a bit done before we start. It's amazing how much you can get done on those mindless knit knit knit for a million rounds in the middle of the felted purses if you do it while waiting in traffic, waiting in line to pick up kids, etc.

They PAY you to get botox????

SO, anyone in the kc area wanting botox? I was listening to the latest quintiles ad and they want people with moderate to severe frown lines between their eyes or on their forehead to receive a botox-like treatment AND they pay you $900. I don't think I'm up for it, but thought I'd pass word along. I've done a few medical studies for Quintiles and they seem pretty on the level. So far I've just done the give some blood, get paid $50 or $100, I'm a bit leery of them sticking anything into me or drugging me. Now, if they were offering a boob job, I'd be CLAWING AT THE DOOR TO GET IN. You all let me know if you hear of any boob job volunteers needed. I'd bump up my little half-A's for B's or C's in the name of science in a HEARTBEAT BABY!!

So, the lovahboy is letting me help decorate his house bit by bit. Woo hoo! He only moved into this house about a month before he and I started dating (so no other ho's have been "shake it, shake it, shake-it like a polaroid picture"-ing there before me. I like being the first ho in his home. ANYWAY, the boy has almost nothing. He bought himself a big red couch for the living room and stuck it against one wall and that was it in the whole room. WEEEELLLLLLL, when he asked if I'd like to help, I was all HECK YEAH! Now he's only spent $300 and has a COOL rug in squares of muted natural greens & browns and earthy tones and a black leather giant ottoman-looking coffee table. I also rearranged the furniture and now he has a cozy area for sitting & reading the paper or talking with guests with a couch, a cool table he'd made long ago for an end table, two comfy chairs and a behind the couch table from my basement. It turns out we have very similar taste and he was all happy and everything. awwwww. He wanted everything in it to be something I liked and would enjoy for years to come. It seems we may be quite serious. STILL no ring, no worries, but some talk of futures that is not scaring me. love it love it love it.

Knit Knit Knit Knit......Knit knit knit knit.... that's me trying to crank out more felted bags. I had a nightmare the other night that the circ needles were all breaking in half and there were no more to be had. I was trying to make my own, but they kept melting.

What else? OH YEAH. I stood in line for 55 minutes to buy a $55 dollar book for the good ol' religion class. It really REALLY doesn't look very interesting, but maybe it will surprise me. My honey likes to learn about different religions, so he's all excited and wants to read my chapters with me. Maybe he'll want to do the homework for me? Good thing was I stuck in the last book in the Little House series, The First Four Years in my purse before I left to read while waiting in line to pick up kids after school. I read 98 pages while waiting in line at the bookstore. I may have gone NUTS otherwise. Then, because parking at good ol' JCCC is SO FREAKING wonderful, I walked LONG ways in the drizzle and couldn't find my car. cripes. I just kept walking and walking and clicking my little alarm until I found it. smmmmoooooth baby.

Major Accomplishments of the day

#1--> I'm an official College Girl again. Ok, not so much "girl" as College Old Lady! woo hoo. Now don't get all excited, I had to have a religion class to complete the old undergrad degree. I'm all for learnin' about relgion, but Exploring World Relgion just doesn't get my blood flowing. I'm hoping to not fall asleep or run from the room screaming when all the countries, gods, etc. run together in my head.

#2--> Both children dressed, fed, teeth brushed, backpacks on delivered to school ON TIME. (I know moms do this every stinking day without thinking of it, but for me it's always been an accomplishment.)

#3--> Ate Taco Bell IN THE CAR while wearing a WHITE shirt and getting NO stains whatsoever on myself. Yup. First time ever. Two tacos with sauce, bean burrito no onions. If you saw some crazy lady chomping while driving down I-435 steering with her knee while wearing napkins tucked into her tank top and covering her pantlegs, that would have been me. I still can't eat spaghetti while wearing white, but that's a project for another day.

#4--> Sewed in ends on two more little purses for the big sale (Jewish Community Center in KC at 117th and Nall right next to the Sprint Mega-Complex from 11am-7pm on Sunday, Sept. 18th). STILL way freaking BEHIND, but only moderately stressed. moderately. When I get to Sept. 1st, I may become a freak of nature with crippled little hands stuck to circ needles moaning "merino.....I need more kettle died merino...." But for now I'm copacetic.

#5--> Not screaming when old Kenny Rogers called to check in. The man got a new cell phone, so new number and I answered it without thinking. CRIPES.

On a side note, my daughter's starting the Little House on the Prairie series. I'm LOVING that. I'm a bit of a Little House junkie. I am not ashamed to admit that. I even got Joey interested from watching the miniseries on tv last summer. Now at bedtime, I read Little House in the Big Woods to Joey and his sister's moving onto the Little House on the Prairie. I couldn't help myself. Had to re-read the whole dang series yet again. It's been a few years. I am in the midst of Farmer Boy and am amazed at how often knitting and spinning come up in the daily lives of these people. Almanzo's family raised merino sheep, so she would card, spin, weave, knit, create clothes, felt material for waterproof/windproof coats, hats, gloves etc. She gathered berries to dye the yarn in big kettles out on bonfires. Laura, Mary and her sisters were constantly knitting as well. It was like you found out a special treat about an old friend.

Yes, I'm a dork. Yup, too far gone to save.

Holy Beer Bellies Batman!

Sung to the tune of Spiderman...

Comb-Over Man, Comb-Over Man...
Doing whatever Comb-Over can...
Winking, leering, flirting hard,
Annoying chics is his reward.
Look out! Here comes Comb-Over Man!
SO, Comb-Over Man gets in my way not once but THREE TIMES this morning. I'm all happy, driving to work, dropped off the kids, singing along to the Violent Femmes and drinking my green tea. One with the universe. Somehow the invisible magnetic panels in the sides of my truck must have been re-activated as FOUR people try to merge into me. FOUR. I drive a RED BLAZER that takes up a significant amount of room. WHY WHY WHY don't people see me? cripes. The closest one was Comb-Over Man driving a white crappy car. I actually had to suck in my breath while squishing between a suburban and Comb-over and honking and cursing. Suburban lady went half-way onto the shoulder and I made it through with a nice wave to her and a different wave to Comb-Over Man.

Heart slows, more green tea, more Violent Femmes, driving always calms me. I cruise along, get off at my exit behind COMB-OVER MAN!!!! WTF??? Ah well. He pulls out quickly to merge, SLAMS on the brakes, I quickly stop and look behind me holding my breath. This idiot goes & stops, goes & stops again. I finally get smart and wait way behind him. There's only ONE spot to stop for diet coke/gas between the exit and my work as it's in an industrial park. I go around Comb-Over and head into the gas station/coffee shop for the morning caffiene goodness of my first diet coke of the day. I'm calm, I'm zen-like. I even get a powerball ticket. Comb-Over comes in, sleezily looks me up and down and WINKS at me. WINKS.

Yeah. I smile my sweetest smile ever and turn to leave. Images of whooping up on his ass in my mind, but my hands do not beat the slimy man. no. I'm a good girl.

On a non-supervillan note, Joey's first day of kindergarten was yesterday. It went smooth as silk. No crying momma and no crying kid. Woo hoo! He had a BLAST! Got to go to the library and check out two books. Don't you just LOVE when your kids are all excited about getting up for school? Beth's been going since Tuesday and just met her new teacher (the other one quit right before school and they had to do a fast-hire). She's this young energetic thing that just graduated from Kansas State. Beth LOVES her and can't wait to start studying spelling words. I know in a few years I'll have to re-read this to convince myself that my kids LIKE school, but for now it's sweet!

I realized I went around ALL DAY yesterday, to the Kingergarten parents' tea and to a yarn store and a few other places with one black earring and one white one on. Smooooooooth. Not too bad, except they are both BIG and quite noticable. I found the white one on the floor next to the jewelry box when I took them out at the end of the day. nice.

ON A KNITTING note... Oh holy fibers, yesterday I went to the Studio. I had exactly 18 minutes allowed to shop. I'd heard they had some of the Schaefer Esperanza I used for my felted groove bags. What kind of damage could I do in 18 minutes? Super Shopper was I. They have a wall of heaven. Kettle died merino, noro out the wazoo, my needlepointin', cross-stitchin', crochetin', knittin' crafting heart was just singing. I swear. I dropped some cash fast, ONLY for making bags for the sale next month, and I'm going to do some SERIOUS stash enhancement at the big 25% sale this winter. Oh Lordy, Lordy it's a good thing I don't live any closer.

Like a woman possessed

I swear before I write this that I am NOT pregnant. NOPE. Not the least. I take my little pill daily like a good girl as I've done MORE than my share bringing two red-headed munchkins into this world. That said, I swear I was nesting last night. You momma's remember nesting, right??? Oh, about 2 months to go before baby gets here and you go absolutely INSANE with the getting the house ready? I think after I started painting the baby's room (remember my kids' dad was NOT into actually helping or being excited about the pregnancy or anything) wearing a mask and standing on ladders and doing all the things you are NOT supposed to do while preggers, I went outside and started cutting the tufts of grass (we lived in NM in a mud puddle/old bean field east of the mountains) with a scissors. My ex would not cut the grass and it was pissing me off, so I went out, pulled weeds, and snipped our entire yard with my office scissors. (Not very much grass, not quite as crazy as it sounds, ok it still sounds crazy). Jeff's sister is nesting and keeps heading out to Nebraska Furniture Mart buying lots of furniture and carpet. Jeff's ex-wife bought a new house each time she was nesting, so I'm thinking snipping grass with scissors isn't too crazy now, is it?

ANYWAY, For those of you newer readers, I moved back in with the folks a ways back to be able to afford to LIVE and not work 3 jobs. My folks have a ranch house with an apartment downstairs with kitchen, bath, laundry, living areas, etc. They leave each weekend for the lake and are quite busy during the week, so we really only see each other a few minutes each day. It's not the ideal situation, but it allows me to be able to drop my kids off when school starts and pick them up when it's over rather than 13 hours of daycare/school like I was doing. BUT it's still living at home, ick. SO, I kept living in denial of "it's just for a short time..." so I was pretty much living out of boxes. Boxes and piles of crap in the kitchen, boxes and piles of crap in the living room, pantry (my old china hutch stored in my laundry room), boxes and piles of crap EVERYWHERE. Last night, I was like a woman possessed. I retook the house. I threw out 4 big yellow trash bags, (how DO I get that much CRAP in my house anyway? I know I'm only 2 steps from an Oprah special and NOT the good kind) washed washed washed cleaned cleaned cleaned.

I actually COOKED in my own kitchen downstairs last night. Ok, cooking by MY standards. We used the good ol' stoneware cookie sheet to make the WORLD'S BEST crinkly french fries (frozen) and ate that with applesauce, corn dogs and green beans. mmm mmm good. Any wonder why momma's a bit chubby??? anyone??? The kids loved it, I loved it, and I organized EVERYTHING. I now have all my kitchen utensils in ONE spot, stoneware in a cabinet, pitchers of lemonade in the fridge and found some cute little tupperware mold thingy's from when I was a little child. Beth and I are going to make little jello molds to go with dinner tonight. They're the kind with replacable ends that have stars, hearts, etc. on the bottom you can switch out. I now have a pantry with FOOD in it, a long CLEAN CLEAR counter with my appliances and extra working room and a clean stove, fridge and organized drawers and cabinets. It's actually quite frightening. I may even use the ol George Foreman grill for chicken breasts tonight. I made Beth and I strawberry/banana smoothies this am to go with breakfast, I was Martha Freaking Stewart, baby! SSSSHhhhhhh I even washed my apron, but haven't gone that nuts yet. Come on, why don't more people use aprons anymore? They're ever so stylish!

OH, RIGHT, KNITTING blog! I went shopping for my secret pal! So many pretty yarns! I've realized I really NEED to shop at both our KS stores. The Yarn Shop has its Fall Class Schedule up now. Anyone want to do the Moebius cast on? or the Entrelac Bag class? Fingerless gloves? fun fun fun! Also, they carry different stuff than Knit Wits in Olathe. Knit Wit's is the place to go for Debbie Bliss yarn and just GREAT sale stuff. I haven't even been into the Plaza shop yet, I'm afraid I'll just spend more more more than I can afford even now! Maybe for my bday I'll take myself to the Studio.

My honey's coming over to see me tonight after I get the kids to bed. yeah! It's hard with his kids, my kids, school, soccer, Beth's starting piano lessons soon... It makes you more appreciative of the time together. Did I tell you he's letting me decorate his living room? So far all I've done is rearrange the furniture and do a walk-through of his house and brought other stuff in and switched it like that show on HGN or Discovery or something. Only thing is the poor boy doesn't have much stuff, so it's a work in progress. I got to see the two ladies (Joey's preschool teachers from last year) that set us up yesterday. They were setting up for the new year and they saw my smile and were happy as could be. They said their finders fee was getting invited to anything big that happens in our futures.

I got nothin...

SO, nothing happening around here. boring boring boring. Kids are starting school, honey's busy with his kids, work work work, knit knit knit (nothing fun, just scarves and purses for the sale) boring boring boring.

I'll leave you with a few of my favorite StoryPeople stories:

someone asked them to be quiet, so it's just a matter of time before all hell breaks loose

I'll bet even an angel's butt itches if he has to do too much sitting on hard places.

I like this place best by moonlight, she told me. During the day, it just looks like dirt.

They're like pets who shed clothes instead of hair, she said, & they talk back & want a lot of stuff. But at least they don't pee on the carpet anymore, she added.

That's it folks, have a good one, hope to be a bit more inspirational tomorrow. I'm starting YET ANOTHER freaking LET'S GET HEALTHY AND EAT BETTER AND EXERCISE crap thing. Probably why I'm so NON-inspired today. You know what's sad? I was doing great yesterday. Eating veggies, fruits, meats and fiber. yummy. I totall spaced and remembered 2 inches down into a Dairy Queen reese's peanut butter cup and chocolate ice cream blizzard. TOTALLY forgot until then. Well, I'm not gonna waste it THEN, so the whole damn thing got eaten. Ah well. Selective memory. Not such a bad thing.

Quiet weekend? HAH

First of all, I forgot my TOP pet peeve...Invisible antipersperant/deoderants that are neither INVISIBLE nor do they stop you from sweating and stinking. UGH. ruined black tank tops anyone? cripes.

I do really love my big boobed skinny friends, I just get pissy and tired of being flat & bottom heavy. Ah well. Life goes on. MAYBE I can get off my butt and get moving and can inspire hate and jealousy in other women too! wouldn't that be great?

SO, how was your weekend? Nice, calm, walking in the beautiful weather? Not so much here. We were busy busy busy. Friday night WAS quiet. I completed two bags ready for the washing machine felting, pics hopefully tomorrow. Very cute. Nice and calm.

Saturday was SOAP BOX DERBY day at the Kansas Speedway. Only problem was, the access road we were using wasn't so speedy. Normally the soap box track in KC runs about 35 miles an hour. Those kids FLY down the hill in their little fiberglass and wooden cars. We were MAYBE pushing 5 miles an hour at the speedway. AND mother nature decided to dump some much needed rain on us as well. A few delays and time hiding under our GOOD new tarp ez-up thing with walls and some quick losses meant we got to pack up and head out before the final dumping of rain hit, causing the race to be completed on Sunday. We get home, momma's grumpy, Beth's grumpy, Joey's grumpy, we're just one bundle of happy energy. woo hoo.

Sunday dawns EARLY (ok, we were actually up before dawn). Dad takes Beth out to the Speedway track and leaves at 6:30am. ugh. Of course, little Joey decides to WAKE UP that early so no slipping back to bed for an extra half hour of sleep. Ah well. We head out around 8am. THIRTEEN HOURS later, we get home with these trophies... (Joey's is a pic of the morning after which looks much better than last night)...

Nutshell version, we have the BEST volunteers and parents group in the nation, I swear!! These people completed the first race, got a second race in and even started a third single-elimination race. We were basically racing the sunset (which won) to get these kids and their cars loaded onto the trailers and up the hill so they could go down in the almost dark and get the race completed. It could have been bedlam, but it was organized and unbelievable. Did I say those cars were HEAVY???? Beth's car weighs about 140 lbs. ugh ugh ugh. ANYWAY the last 3 times down the hill the trucks drove down behind them on the side to shine their lights onto the track and the kids were driving in the utter darkness. With two times left down the hill, I had Joey sitting with another little brother of a racer on a picnic table near the announcers' booth. I was afraid he'd get run over by one of the trucks while I was loading Beth's car. I'd sit by him until she came down, tell him to stay put and run onto the track to RUN carrying this car with another parent off the track and onto a trailer. WELL, I got Beth's car on, her put into the truck to go back up and one of the announcers brings me this screaming child with BLOOD running down his face and a goose-egg growing on his forehead. yup. Apparently the other boy was showing Joey how to stand on the bench of the table, put your hands up on the top and flip yourself off onto the parkinglot ground. Joey did it once, but the 2nd time landed on his face. It's pitch black outside, Dad's at the top of the hill and doesn't know what's going on, Beth's still getting ready to race two more times and there's NO ICE left in anyone's cooler as it's been one long-ass day. A mom finds me some cold water in her cooler (everyone's all packed up and ready to go as soon as the race is done) and I rip off my sweatshirt, dunk it into the water and hold that onto his head. We got into the truck to go home at 9:30pm, pitch black outside. Long day. Joey's eyes were dialating ok and he knew who he was, so it looked like no concussion, just a goose-egg. He's better today.

Meanwhile, Beth is doing GREAT and ends up with her very first TROPHY for 8th place. OH I wish you could have seen her face. It was glowing through the dark! SUCH JOY and she made some really nice friends too. We have one more race in September back at our old track and it's nice that Beth and Joey have got friends they will see again and Beth's confidence level is nice and high too!

drama drama drama

Thank goodness today isn't the first day of school. cripes.

Things that piss me off

When I lose ten pounds, it comes from my chest. When I gain ten pounds, it goes to my thighs and hips.

superficial obnoxious mothers of a few of my kids' classmates

dealing with insurance companies

skinny people

pretty skinny people

pretty skinny people with big boobs

RICH pretty skinny people with big boobs

people who drive unbelievably fast cars unbelievably SLOW in front of me

bullies

close-minded people of both persuasions, conservative and liberal

W

people who park their expensive cars/cadillac/lexus suv's diagonally in parking lots. This makes it VERY hard for me to keep my keys in my pocket. I've never actually keyed someone's car before. Not only am I a good hearted, law abiding person, but the sound of metal scraping metal gives me the heebie jeebies. I just think on it once in a while.

I'm all pampered now

OK, so thank you to Miss Teresa for the Pampered Chef party last night! I realized I have some seriously cool stuff from PC parties in the past, but they're all still in the damn boxes. Actually, they were in their boxes under my bed. Chillzone serving thing with deviled egg side--box. Stoneware Rectangular stone--box. Stoneware Medium Bar pan--box. Stoneware Mini Loaf pan--box. Little metal handle thing to set stonewares on--no box, just under the bed. Then while cleaning out the closet last week, I found little boxes everywhere, a garlic press (only because I got it free, I don't think in my entire life I will have an opportunity to press a garlic clove), Medium Scoop (for making all those cookies on the stoneware cookie pan still in its box, and a pastry blender. Why in holy heckland would I have a pastry blender? I have actually USED my avocado knife/peeler thingy (twice) and I use my apple slicer/corer thing at least once a week. SO, did I do the smart thing and think, no, I don't need any more stuff? NOPE. I got more cool stuff. Good thing I only had 2 mike's hard limeades or I'd have done some serious shopping! bwaaa haa ha haaaaaaaa

I did take everything out of the boxes and am thinking I'll take them to Jeff's house so I'll have an excuse to make stuff there. He gets all amazed and is so stinking appreciative when I cook for him. The sad thing? My level of cooking involves cans, microwaves and stove-tops or the VERY EASY BETTY CROCKER version of cookbooks. I made manwitch sloppy joes with corn on the cob and green beans served on his paper plates and the man thought I'd hung the moon. Seriously, pastry blender? You never know.

I've GOT to get exercising again, I think I am going to try to find a way to get out to their Jazzercise place to help motivate me to reduce the size of my caboose. I'm thinking Tues and Thurs or something. I am quite uncoordinated, so it could be a challenge. My last try of Jazzercise resulted with me hiding in the back row behind the really fat lady because I was all out of breath and then I couldn't see around her to figure out what the instructor was doing. This was back in the day of the full-body leotard and there was a LOT of jumping around, so let me tell you, the view was not good.

If Kansas City is one of the US's fattest cities, why am I constantly surrounded by these damn size 4 chics? Cripes.

OK, so tonight it's going to be spaghetti with a cool bread thing from a COOKBOOK. I'm going to use my stoneware cookie sheet and put chopped tomatoes, roasted peppers (from a jar NOT roasted by me people...how DO you even roast a pepper???) and sprinkled mazzerella cheese on french bread with basalmic vinegar and FRESH basil or some other leafy thing. It's getting a bit wild here, I know. Don't worry, the spaghetti sauce comes from a jar and I'm just adding stewed tomatoes to make it look good.

YES my children live on meals built from frozen stuff microwaved. YES I know that's not the best possible plan and NO I don't want my kids growing up to be freakazoids in the kitchen so I'm working on it. Jeez. Plus I've got pretty stuff to use in the kitchen now, so lookout world, check the smoke detectors batteries, we're ready to roll.

Well crap. I just got the email from the pampered chef lady and since I left early last night, didn't hear that if you spend JUST $50, you get a free cookbook. Well I'm only $8 short, so now I gotta get more stuff. MORE MORE MORE. I'm thinking I need a couple more of these. Coolest thing ever invented. For $3.75, you can open your own damn twist-off bottles without making your man do it for you, it has a big-ass magnet on back to hang on the fridge AND it does pop top can things too. OK, so a kitchen towel held in your hand can do the same thing, but you don't look as stylish doing it.

Anyone in need of a new garlic press still in the box, let me know and I'll send it your way. This poor little thing needs a home in a real kitchen. I'm afraid in my house it's destined to end up in the playdough box.

It's a good thing I'm not paranoid or anything...

Well Christine, how's your day at work? Well, let's sum it up like this....whisper whisper whisper, closing doors, whisper whisper whisper. great. Although, they did buy another box of envelopes, so I guess I'm still employed for a bit longer. I will say this FINALLY inspired me to get off my big ol' butt and get ready for school this fall. I'm almost a bit excited about being a college chicadee again.

Confession time, am I really the only one????? My daughter's used-up school supplies from LAST MAY that she brought home from school in a big brown bag are STILL under her bed. I found them the other day and instead of going through them or even putting them away, I kicked the bag back under the bed. I LOVE school supplies! How much fun is it to have a new box of crayons? We did some serious coloring last night and momma had her own box too. HEY they're 25 cents a box at Target. I sprung for a few bucks worth. I love me some new crayons. Yes, my children think I'm a dork too.

I still am LOVING my guy. so happy. so strange for me. happy happy happy.

Kids are good, so excited about the new year it's nuts. We have the big ice cream social aka catching-up-on-gossip outing next Monday, Beth starts school Tues and those big Kindergarteners start on Thursday. I'm taking Joey to that movie the Fantastic Four on one of the days he's waiting as a treat. I wanted to see the penguin movie, but he's more into blowing up cars, superheros and the like.

I realized I have exactly one month before my art show knitting sale. I'm freaking a bit. GOT to get more yarn!!! I actually cranked out a few more bags from my stash, since I'm POOR again and six days left till payday. MAN I hate being poor, but damn I'm good at finding change around the house, things I bought (always keep the receipt and tags on until you use stuff) to return and took a load of outgrown kids' clothes to the resale shop. OH OH OH my 2nd one-skein wonder done with that butterflies & bullfrogs yarn for $14.50 turned out SO FREAKING COOL AND CUTE!!! I'll get pics up tomorrow to show off mine and my daughter's. CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!

You know, I'll take whispers and flexibility any day. GAWD help me if I have to go back to the corporate world. I think I'd melt like a wicked witch and be really REALLY crabby. not nice. I'm getting my ARSE in motion and getting serious about getting my teaching degree now. serious.

Monday Monday Monday

First of all, NO ONE ever calls me (but my honey and kids' teachers when the kids have barfed or something) and the ONE day I leave my cell in the bottom of my purse I get SIX messages yesterday. I apologize to everyone for ignoring you!

I had the BEST weekend! Not much was accomplished, but we had a blast! Friday night was a good time. Jeff's 20 year reunion was Sat night but he didn't want to get all dressed up and pay $75/couple PLUS cash bar to hang out with everyone, so he was talked into hosting a get-together for his old friends Friday night. We had a blast. I only knew 2 people there, but got in my "makin' some friends" party mode and really enjoyed myself. A bit too much. I was moving slow Sat. morning, but not too much damage. It's kind of scary to realize that though you're old and haven't been a party girl for a while, your body can still handle a wild night once in a while. NOTE-->GREEN TEA the morning after is very soothing to the tummy, the head and the soul. I read about mixing it with hot chili powder and a few other things for the ultimate hangover cure, but that would've made me hurl. Green tea. It's a good thing.

Jeff's boys are in Canada with their mom and their big family summer vacation, so he just hung around with me and my munchkins all weekend. We went out to Cabella's and wandered around looking at the animals and big boy toys. Do guys ever grow up? NOPE. Their toys just cost more. Jeff did well, only bought a new fishing tackle box. I've been to the Bass Pro Shop in Springfield, MO, but this was UNREAL. They have all kinds of animals, the requisite deer, elk and other critters men like to shoot. They also had a jungle safari room with LIONS, ZEBRAS, ELEPHANTS, WILDEBEASTS, and tons of other massive animals all set up in little vingettes. It was really cool. The place ALMOST made me think about going camping again. There's some seriously cool stuff there. almost. not till it gets COOLER outdoors and not so many bugs. I think I could handle camping in the fall. maybe. we'll see.

Jeff fell asleep on the couch Sat. night at about 7pm after dinner(we'd been up till 4:30am the night before) and I sat and dozed and knitted in the rocking recliner nearby. My kids played like ANGELS and had a "sleepover" in Beth's room with she in the top bunk and Joey in her lower bunkbed. Jeff woke up and we snuggled on the couch watching a little tv, then to bed. mmmmmmm. Nice domestic evening. It just feels right and that's so nice. It's funny how sometimes you have to go through a lot of CRAP and heartache to recognize and appreciate someone very good for you.

More domesticity, Sunday we went over to Jeff's house, kids played outside in the sprinkler and we got them washing our trucks and I helped Jeff make and can salsa. We all went out and hosed down the trucks, the ice cream van came down the street and we had a very nostalgic afternoon sucking on frozen ninja turtle with bubblegum eyeballs on sticks and bomb pops. Anyone else notice how FREAKING CREEPY ice-cream men are now? ick.

Sunday night we went to a dinner party thrown by Phuong, with make-your-own spring rolls and AMAZING food. MMMMmmmm. Jeff ate octupus, shrimp and beef along with the asian veggies and noodles. I did the beef thing and even ate a couple of shrimpies. Beth even ate a ton of noodles along with canteloupe and tried the Asian fruit medly. Joey ate peanut butter ritz bits and pringles, par for the course. Jeff did the hang-out-with-the-boys-outdoors thing and seemed to have a good time. I got to hold a little 6 month old cutie Taylor all night since she was fussy and I have the magic touch. GOD I LOVE BABIES until they move. Then the magic's gone. Seriously, I'd have followed along in my grandma's footsteps and cranked out the tons o' babies if they STAYED babies. I also love kittens but cats not so much.

Back to work. Is it a bad sign when your company runs out of envelopes and doesn't want to order more as they may not BE HERE to use them? Jeez. I signed up for 2 classes this fall at good ol' Johnson County Community College aka harvard-on-the-hill. I do like that campus. Now I'll be a real college girl again. Ok, an OLD college girl but still. Drinking beer and skipping class just doesn't work as well when you're over 35, guess I'll have to STUDY and GO TO CLASS this time. cripes.

OH holy heck I laughed on this one. Thanks Sara for the link...

Barbie and Ken in crochet hell OH Ken's workout outfit, grrrrrrrrrr sexy. Mebbie I'll make one up for Jeff....

Also, are you people keeping up with You Knit What? You really need to. OK, so I have the "Why?" toe socklett things here on my list of must-makes and I've been keeping my eyes out for a pair of shoes to show them off. shhhh it's my dirty little secret.

1am....sleep is HIGHLY over-rated.

Still working on the one-skein wonder. Hope to have it done in time to wear to Jeff's party.

OK, so you want the ditsy story from the wedding? I have a reputation for being a titch scatterbrained occasionally. once in a while. I attribute it to the fact that I have SO MUCH information in my brain and I'm moving at such a fast pace in life that a few details get shoved out of there. I have to leave my keys in the same place every stinking time I enter the house, or we're stranded at home for days on end. seriously. I've already lost the spare set so we're really screwed if I lose these. ANYWAY, my folks have given up trying to change me and mom came and asked me for the wedding outfits and shoes for Elizabeth and me and Joey's shoes (he was wearing a tux they'd pick up on the way to Salina, KS for my bro's wedding) so they could take the stuff with them and I wouldn't forget anything. At the time, I thought HOW RUDE but sent the clothing on with them as they left a day early. Friday morning dawns. I get up, get everything ready. I'm so freaking organized I even pack some of those canvas fold-up chairs for the family reunion we're attending on Sunday. I get all our nice clothes in a hanging bag so nothing gets wrinkled. I'd even IRONED dammit. The only clothing in our bags were swimsuits and cruddy shorts & tshirts for playing at the farm on Sunday and hanging out at the hotel. I had the cooler, the ice, the beer, a little crate of food for the kids and me at the hotel so we wouldn't have to eat fast food all weekend, I was SET baby.

Until we're about 2 hours down the road on our 3 hour trip and I realize CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP the hanging bag is STILL hanging back at the house. I seriously consider turning the damn truck around, but we have just about 30 minutes after our arrival time that we have to meet at the church for the rehearsal and dinner. Yup, I got NOTHING. I cruise into town, hit Target, they have NOTHING for me but I find an outfit for each kid. They change in the backseat, I drop my shorts in the parking lot changing into a pair of capri's as Joe-Bob, Butch and Bubba come around the corner and whistle. nice. I'm sweating like a freaking pig and am quite the hottie of the parking lot I'm sure. I remember I'd stuck a white halter/tank half-way nice top in my bag, grab it and put it on. We get to the church RIGHT on time, I send the kids in for their practice as jr. groomsman and jr. bridesmaid and head to the bathroom to put on makeup. As I fluff the hair, primp and think DAMN I'm good, no one would ever know I got put together in 3 minutes and think, OH, I need some lipstick. Yup, dropped it right down the front of my WHITE shirt. I've not worn lipstick for a month, don't really know why I needed it in the 100+ degree weather, but cripes. I ended up walking around all night with my purse held in the middle of my belly covering a 5 inch long red streak.

Joey had a GREAT checkup at the CF clinic at Children's Mercy today. I was happy with his care for the first time in over a year. We've gotten a bit of the run-around lately and I've been reduced to tears more times than I care to mention. Today we saw the CF Doctor himself, the practical nurse who's his coordinator, the pulmonology lab team, the nutritionist and a few nurses to boot. They had TALKED about his situations and were UP TO DATE on his medicines and sinus infections. His CF doctor even had some plans for working WITH the ENT surgeon and I was just blown away. It was like the good ol' days of actually CARING for the patient and being PROACTIVE instead of "well when he gets sicker....." I'm telling you it was the BEST. He has lost some weight, so we're trying to pack on the calories and the weight, but his lungs are clear as a bell and everything's good but his sinuses. We go see the ENT doctor that I love in 2 weeks as well. YEAH for the little guy!

Anyone out there remember Calvin & Hobbs? I used to LOVE this strip as it would cause me to laugh so hard that milk (or more likely beer) would come out of my nose. I now realize I have a boy that greatly resembles this little cartoon kid. Spiky haired, drags around a stuffed cheetah (that was actually a leopard from build-a-bear but he decided it was named "Cheetah") and his little shorts come down almost to his ankles just like Calvin.

Have you seen this???? Automatic Knitting Counter

I had some fun with the link below. Anyone else notice it says I'm scatterbrained and high energy? too funny. I put in Jeff's date and it said he's protective of those he loves, fiercely loyal and family oriented. huh.

Your Birthdate: November 12

Being born on the 12th day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, sometimes "couldn't care less" attitude. You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist. You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about. You are affectionate and loving - but very sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Wednesday already???

Cripes, I'm getting old fast. I swear time flies by before I know it. 2005? August? WEDNESDAY??? It's a good thing I've already got the grumpy old lady's soul inside this almost-middle-aged body. Old age? BRING IT ON BABY I'm ready.

My major accomplishment for the week was cleaning out the tiny drawer in my bedside table and one small junk drawer in the bedroom. Somehow these two SMALL dimensions yielded enough crap to fill an entire yellow trash bag. I went back to trying to reclaim my closets and realized I have more clothes than a woman could POSSIBLY wear in a year. Plus they all suck. OK I have a few nice pieces, but the rest is crap. crap crap crap. I started more yellow trash bags for donations, ebay and trash. I went into Joey's room and realized the child has 47 t-shirts. FOURTY-SEVEN T-SHIRTS. I think he wears about 7 of them. This resulted in more piles of crap, more yellow trash bags and now my nice little "hey let's organize a tiny area of space to make my living area more peaceful" has resulted in my bedroom (my oasis from the clutter of life) now resembles the drop-off spot at the local Goodwill. nice.

OH, I knit my fingers to the bone before the wedding and EVEN made a gauge and everything and the one-skein wonder turned out beautifully, but fit my daughter not me. I think I was measuring the wrong part of my shoulders so now I went out and bought MORE yarn and am working on one for mommacita. I'm planning on wearing it (this one WILL fit me dammit) this Friday night. Jeff's having his 20 year high school reunion this weekend but isn't going. BUT his friends talked him into having a party on Friday night at his house for all of their old gang to get together. I got a babysitter lined up (my cousin--the BEST) for the whole night, so I can get a bit tipsy and not worry about getting a ride home. I want to wear the one-skein wonder over a black tank top I think. DAMMIT it's hard to decide what to wear to look better than the old girlfriends but not look like I'm TRYING to look better than them. Petty? yes. Shallow? yes. Do I care? NO.

Last rant for the day...does anyone else HATE IT when your kids start NOTICING things like YELLOW lights and RED lights and SPEED LIMITS??? I'm a totally safe mother, don't get your knickers in a knot here people, but OCCASIONALLY I may be a titch over the official speed limit. Yesterday we had to get Beth to the dr's by 9am as I thought the walk-in period went till 9:30, called just to make sure, and it was 8:50 and we were about 12 minutes away. She had tummy problems that I wanted to make sure wasn't an appendix (she just has to be like her momma and go poo more often so MORE veggies and such). ANYWAY, momma was hitting the speed pretty hard and went through a yellow/red/orange light on the way (looking to make sure no one was starting early through the intersection, don't worry) and I had the damn speed police in the backseat. Beth: "MOOOOO-OOOOMMMMMMM, that speed limit sign said 35, and you are going more than that." Joey: "MOOOOOOO-OOOOOMMMMMMM, my teachers say you're supposed to slow down for yellow lights." cripes.

Actually the last time I was pulled over for 45 in a 35, my HELPFUL children were pointing out to the police officer that mom was going faster down the hill before he saw us. When he asked if I knew why I was pulled over, the kids said "MOM was going number 50 and the sign said 35!" The cop actually laughed as I rolled my eyes and very nicely gave a warning.