It's my party and I'll frog if I want to, frog if I want to, froooooggggg if I waaaaant to....You would frog too if it happened to you....

Ah well, another one bites the dust. Try as I could, this sweater just didn't work for me. It looks fabulous as long as I stand in a strange leaning fashion. If I actually WEAR it and sit down or stand normally, the baggly lines at the back just drove me nuts. I either needed to knit a smaller size overall or make some more damn adjustments in the waistline. I have a teeny tiny waist. That's a nice thing, except it helps to accentute the NOT so teeny hips & thighs. Ah well. I just need to REMEMBER that fact and make adjustments on my patterns. Duh. Ah well.

My big quest to finish the first boyfriend sweater is a decision not to cast on for anything else until it gets done. Yeah. Some of you knitters are good with that, it just doesn't work for me. I do now have two sleeves, although one turned out about 2 inches longer than the other, so I need to frog back to the last decrease round and reknit the ends. I'll cast on for the neckline hopefully tonight while watching some tv.



So, of course I wouldn't have cast on for two more projects, no. That would be bad. Yeah, right. After realizing the sleeve error, I figured I'd done enough to earn a cast on for another project. Knitting Pure & Simple's Neckdown V Neck Shaped Cardigan #241 (scroll down to the green one with the tie on the lower left). I'm knitting it up in a purple Cascade 220 heather yarn for my daughter and want to make one for me in a blue also.


I also swatched, didn't get gauge and had to go smaller needles on an acrylic yarn I'd bought on sale for a Wonderful Wallaby hooded sweater for Joey. The gauge at the bigger size was feeling a titch tight, but on the smaller needles and sleeve I started to check gauge, it felt like iron. Plasticky iron. I think I could even hear it squeeench when I rubbed it. I think that may have been yarn snobbery guilt at clothing the rest of the family in natural fibers. I mean, what if he wandered too close to a campfire? He'd melt in a horrible puddle and the rest of the family would stop smouldering as soon as the flame was removed. Yeah. I'm gonna go look at some cascade 220 superwash and try again. I found a very cool Wonderful Wallaby FAQ site and am going to cast on for this probably tonight too if I find the yarn. The whole campfire thing? Over-imagination? Not really. Jeff is a LARGE bonfire making man. We don't do the little start with twigs and dry grasses, slowly adding bigger twigs until a nice, safe fire is going. Nope, there's usually a bit of gasoline and a large "WHOOOOOSHH", then flames to the sky and people for miles around come and gather together whenever we camp out. Yup, my boy's gonna get some good ol' flame resistant natural fiber wool. I'll use the acrylic for an afghan.

Also worked a little on Joey's blue-toed socks. I had one ball of Lorna's Laces in the same colorway I used to make his first pair of socks last year. Wow. Have I really only been making socks for a year? No, my first pair were for Jeff for Valentine's day in 2006, so I guess that's about a year and a half. HOW did I survive drive thru's, red lights, waiting at doctor's offices and the like without my car-sock projects? Anyway, these are turning out less fugly than I thought. He thinks they look good, so I guess that's all that matters. I'm not really sure if the one ball of yarn will last even with adding in blue toes and heels. Yes, I KNOW that dividing up the ball and knitting toe-up would allow me to then stripe blue at the top should I need it, but that would just be too damn easy and make too much sense. Yes, this is probably the same thinking that enables me to make entire sweaters and weave in ends and wear it for a while before deciding I need to frog it. Ah well. That's just one of my quirks. I've learned to live with it and even enjoy the suspense......will I have enough yarn......will I make it? Boy, I need to get more excitement in my life.


Don't you just dig the funky 70's bathroom counter we've got?

Ta Da! Introducing my aunt's Shedir!

Damn I enjoyed knitting this. Ok, as long as "enjoyed" means cursing, grappling without a cable needle, cursing, grappling with a cable needle, cursing, then amazement as the patterns emerged, excitement and then HOLY CRAP I'M ACTUALLY KNITTING THIS THING sets in. Yes, I'd do it again. In a while. Someday. There's a few cables that disappear a stitch off from where they're supposed to, but the crazy anal knitter in me was silenced and I think it's lovely. I really think my aunt will like it. Thank you for all the good "healthy boob" thoughts!

Specs:
Pattern: Shedir
Yarn: Rowan Calmer in pretty dark blue. I used just a bit more than one ball.
Needles: circ and dpns for sz 4 (pattern called for sz 3 and since I knit a bit tight, I just went up one size and *gasp* didn't swatch. It's a HAT and is stretchy. After I got going I measured and it was ok. If I would have had to frog it, I'd have considered it good practice on learning to cable.)

I'm trying VERY VERY hard to finish Jeff's boyfriend sweater. It turns out I wasn't actually running out of yarn. I was getting worried thinking that I'd bought an additional 2 balls and then still wasn't going to make it and a lovely knitter from ravelry saved my butt and sent me a ball she had in the same dye lot and everything. Well, um, I'm just disorganized. I will most likely need that last ball but, well, I found the other 2 balls buried under piles. I'm not what you would call an organized woman. Here's my knitter's version of a home makeover.....

BEFORE:


AFTER:


Yup, I'm a piler. After the piles start growing too large, to do NOW pile.....to do LATER pile.....Filing pile....etc. The piles get moved into a drawer or box and then once in a long while I pull it all out, organize EVERYTHING and PUT EVERYTHING AWAY and then enjoy my beautiful empty counters and drawers and do it all over again. I think it's easier with the yarn solution.

2 balls of fun fur away from being a total redneck

Seriously, it's getting creepy around here. You be the judge. I'm a common law wife of a squirrel grilling (and eating) man. All weekend I drove a truck with a trailer pulled behind full of a kid's race car and a buttload of tools and actually KNOW HOW TO USE MOST OF THEM, have short broken off nails, STILL have some grease and oily crap way under those broken nails, my cuticles are shot to hell and I got to where I didn't even MIND peeing in the porta-potties. At one point I even snorted under my breath when I had to lift another kid's car up onto the trailer since the mom was a pretty blond thing in cute heels and with big hair who couldn't dream of touching a car, let alone PICK IT UP. At one point in the weekend I found I'd even tucked a greasy rag into my back pocket and was walking around like that.

I used to be one of the pretty moms with big hair and short cute heels that matched my outfit and pedicured toes. Now I'm starting to resemble Goober from Mayberry. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? If anyone sees me with a can of chaw and two balls of fun fur slap the SHIT out of me and sit me down with some koigu, ok? Pretty please?

Anyway, the weekend was FABULOUS! The girl is really becoming quite a driver and it was so much fun. She's such a competitor now that it's much more fun to race. She's such a gentle soul that she has lots of parents and even kids rooting for her. Soap Box Derby racing is such a great family event and the kids really are cheering for each other and helping each other out and still fighting it out for every partial second. SHE ROCKS! 5th place Saturday and 4th place on Sunday.

It was also cold as hell, so the fact that I'm a knitter came in handy. At the last minute, I threw in some wool hats, gloves, scarves and winter coats. THANK GOD FOR WOOL! Even my mom of "oh, I'm not really a fan of wool" was loving the lorna's laces superwash worsted weight ribbed hat I'd thrown in. I was actually toasty in my alpaca hat, wool fingerless gloves (had to be working on the car all day, so no fuzzy fingers allowed), koigu socks and clapotis. My daughter raced in her new crafty-in-a-good-way socks and we were all bundled up and mostly cozy in the 40 degree cold wind blowing day.

We stayed in mom & dad's rv camper and OOOOOOOhhhhhh that's the way to camp. The KOA campground we stayed at had a nice playground, free mini golf and even these fun bikes the kids could run around on. Great weekend even though I only had about 4 hours TOTAL for knitting. It was too damn cold the first day and also Omaha runs a seriously efficient race. At our home track in KC there's a lot of down time, sitting around, KNITTING time. I didn't hardly turn around and Lizzie was racing again. So, only had time for a couple rows on Jeff's sleeves. I did spend in between times de-pilling and picking fuzz off my clapotis. I felt very Elizabeth Zimmermanly as I remembered her writing about spending a pleasant afternoon defuzzing a knitted jacket when she was camping in the cold with her hubby.




Though I missed the great Harlot weekend with my knitting friends, and am still just a teensy tiny bit unbelievably jealous, I was there in spirit as I took along her book KNITTING RULES and re-read it realizing that woman is not only funny but smart. I love her book. Can't wait to hear all about the fun I missed.

A knitting weekend of sorts

Not the FUN ultra knitting weekend the local knitting girls are going to, nope. They're heading off early Sat. to Wichita to see the Harlot, eat, knit, SHOP at the new shop there called Twist, knit, eat and have fun. OOOOOOhhhhh I'm jealous. Ah well.

My weekend will be spent driving the blazer, hauling a big ass trailer with my daughter's soap box derby car in it. We're hitting the road! Omaha, NE here we come! Mom & Dad are taking their rv camper, so we get to camp out in style. MY kind of camping. We've got a 2 day race ahead, with pleasant evenings and afternoons with almost nothing to do but KNIT!

Here's a quick update as I've not finished packing and have a ton of work to do before I leave.

I'm a cabling queen now! I'm just to the part of the shedir where I start decreasing. I've now learned both to cable, and to UNCABLE. Good to know.

I'm done with one sleeve on Jeff's boyfriend sweater, taking it along to hopefully finish up the other one and the neckline so he can wear it in the chilly weather that's setting in around KC.

Finished Jeff's mountain colors barefoot socks and like a doll, he grabbed them up and wore them immediately. It wasn't really cold enough to wear them so he suffered for it, but claimed he loved them and they're the most comfortable socks he's ever had. I'll knit that man socks forever for wearing the bits out of my socks.





I've got to do some fixing up of things around here before winter sets in. The sleeves that were a touch long on my simple knitted bodice have now stretched out to absurd. I'll shorten them.



I also accidentally felted the crap out of my world's coolest tank top made from twisted sisters merino. damn. Now it's going to get cut and made into a vest somehow.


Knitting packing, does anyone else go a titch overboard? I'll have 2 evenings of knitting time plus some during the day on Sat. and Sunday. I've got along Jeff's sweater that needs another sleeve and neckline and tons of ends woven in. I've got 2 balls of sockyarn with a sock in progress on each of them (first sock on both). I've got my aunt's shedir hat in progress along with an extra ball of rowan calmer as it looks like I may need to break into the 2nd ball. I've also stuck in an extra ball of sock yarn JUST IN CASE. Yeah, because any sane knitter would figure of COURSE I'll finish the sweater, the hat, the two socks in progress and their two mates not even cast on and then be sitting around going crazy because I don't have any extra yarn packed. I've also got to entertain two children for that knitting time, so I'm guessing maybe the hat will get done and part of one sock. We'll see. Happy weekend!

Those magical three little words...

No, not "I love you." No, not even "oh well FUXX!" No, that's what I exclaimed after I realized I'd totally missed the three magical little words of WITH SMALLER NEEDLES. As in, "with smaller needles, cast on XXX stitches," then follow lace chart and knit your butt off for half the back of the sweater. damn damn damn. Yes, I have been known to not see those little words until about 3 or 4 inches of the start of a sweater before. Yes, I should probably have LEARNED my damn lesson, but didn't. I didn't realize until after 8 full lace repeats and 12 inches of the back of my silky wool sweater was complete and the pattern said "switch to larger needles." damn damn damn.

Am I the only one that needs all knitting designers and publishers to print those words in really BIG BOLD type and underline it and surround it with asterisks? Even in one of Elizabeth Zimmerman's books, I think it was her Knitting Workshop, she even said NOW PAY ATTENTION and told whatever it was that she wanted to stress. damn. Ah well, I am not a knitter afraid to frog, I've frogged many, many sweaters that weren't working out, or were entirely knitted and finished and didn't work out. But this time I just couldn't do it. I think my standards of anal-knitterly-ness have just gotten a bit less psycho level. I convinced myself that rather than an attractive, slimming waistline that would have been provided had I paid attention to the damn directions isn't really what I wanted. No, I wanted a loose, baggy waistline. Really. I do. I really REALLY do.

damn damn damn

The voices in my head

OK, it's more of ONE voice but she's quite vocal. I'm not Sybil, my voice is mostly harmless. Don't worry. I think it's because for most of my almost 39 years on this earth I've had the unfortunate habit of saying EXACTLY whatever pops into my head whether it's appropriate or not. This has provided more than a couple of interesting situations. I think my voice came about as a result of trying really hard to keep my mouth shut until after I think about what it is I'm about to spout out. I still go around inserting hand-knitted-sock-covered foot in mouth, but ONCE in a while the system works.

Anyway, my little voices have been quite active the last few days. Riding along in a carpool to the zoo with some other moms on our way to a field trip the woman driving asked if I knew how to get there. I said, "well, I always take I-435" and she said, "Oh, I don't believe in highways." I said, "Oh, I understand not wanting to drive on highways." She said, "no, I don't BELIEVE in highways." I couldn't even knit. I sat there with frozen hands and my mouth shut tight. Inside my head was a screaming, "but it's RIGHT OVER THERE! Can't you see it? The thing with all those cars and trucks driving on it? It's not the tooth fairy, IT'S A REAL ROAD MADE OF TAR AND EVERYTHING!" I just smiled, said "huh, you don't say" and picked up the sock needles.

Today I was in a mood that I just couldn't sit still and work any longer. I had to get out and knit somewhere. I took myself to a pizza shop in downtown OP. After eating a piece of pizza as advertised "as big as your face" I sat and lounged and read another chapter of EZ's Knitting Workshop, just enjoying the heck out of myself. As I walked out on the sidewalk towards my truck and saw an OP police car with lights a-flashing. I noticed the side of the car had "PARKING ENFORCEMENT" printed on its side. The siren started to sound. The voice in my head said "well Lawd-a-Mighty, it must be a parking enforcement emergency." (Apparently the voice in my head speaks like a southern belle when my belly's stuffed to bursting). Chuckling to myself, I begin to walk towards Yarn Shop & More to see if I can get another couple of skeins of a cascade 220 yarn I'd bought a while back. Then I realize the damn siren is for MY TRUCK! Apparently the sign that said 15 MINUTE PARKING and was directly in front of my windshield somehow didn't get noticed. The police-looking man (are Parking Enforcement Officers even cops?) came up and explained I'd been in a 15 minute zone for over 45 minutes. I said "WHAT? I didn't see anything about a 15 minute zone!" but it didn't matter. I passed the time waiting for him to complete his damn paperwork by working most of a slip stitch heel flap. The officer walked up and whistled, remarking on what good eyes I must have to work with such little thin dark yarn. I smiled politely. Then he said, "yeah, you'd have thought that would've helped you see that big parking sign, huh?" and handed me the $40 ticket. The voice suddenly turned from southern belle to white trash momma on the tv show cops. I think my brain even invented some new curse words today. I sat there for a while calming down and finishing up my heel flap. The officer finally came back and knocked on my window, asking when I was planning on vacating the 15 minute spot. I explained sweetly that I needed to finish "just one more row" and I'd be right on my way. Voice? She was saying "BITE ME Smartass, I'll leave when I damn well feel like I've knitted up $40 worth of heel flap." I like my voice.

Shedir update...Now I'm thinking maybe it would have been smarter to start my first cabling project with a project with maybe ONE cable that went straight up and down. Ah well. Why make life easier? I'd rather do something with 42 cables. Ok, so it's not quite that many but it damn well seems like it. I've given up (for now) on the whole cabling without a needle thing. Maybe someday in the future. I'm working with a little cable needle and can now see actual cabling action happening. Though the rate of knitting may mean that my aunt's hair all falls out and grows back in again before it's done, it'll get done somehow.

In another fit of startitis, I cast on for Tilia, the cover sweater in Elsebeth Lavold's Designer's Choice Book Eight in some golden silky wool from the stash. I'm about 7 repeats of the front done and am really liking the look of it.

And those voices in my head? Well, after my trying time with the parking enforcement officer and not finding any of the dye lot of cascade 220 at the yarn shop, I listened to the voice and drove myself out to Knit Wit's in Olathe. HOLY CRAPAMIGHTY it's like the sock yarn center of the universe now. Seriously. Claudia Handpaint, Crafty in a Good Way, Lucy Neatby semi-solids and her cool hand-painted colorways, Shi Bui, Schaefer Anne, Regia, Lorna's Laces, Mountain Colors, four other kinds I'm totally mind-blanking here but they were COOL. Holy crap. It's not my fault if the voices said BUY SOCK YARN!! YOU NEED MORE SOCK YARN!!! right? And I'm not totally single-white-female-ing Jo if I happen to buy the exact yarn she got for her birthday if I'm using a different pattern and I use it for a gift, right? It's the voice's fault, not mine! Now aren't we all glad my voices just say "buy sock yarn" and not "kill kill kill" like other voices?

Now, honey, you know momma doesn't approve of cursing, right? Well, go ahead and KICK HIS ASS!!!

Quote for the day. My daughter Elizabeth raced her soap box derby car (the kind you build and ride down the hill inside, not the little wooden toy ones) on both Saturday and Sunday. This is the best sport EVER and builds family unity, friendship, self-confidence and is the best example of good sportsmanship I've ever been a part of. These kids look out for each other, shake each other's hands (without anyone telling them to) and really root for each other. Except for one obnoxious boy from out of town. The boy made one of Beth's friends cry on Sat's race and after racing MY little girl, messed with her too. Uh huh. He was mouthy, obnoxious and rude the whole way from climbing up out of their cars to the ride up the hill. You race each opponent two times to determine a heat win. Each child runs down each lane with 2 of their wheels and 2 of their opponant's wheels. Then they switch wheels and switch lanes and do it again. The one with the best overall differential (which is timed down to a .000 level of a second) wins and they go on into the bracket. My girl got out of the back of the van that transports the racers back to the top of the hill in tears. I really REALLY wanted to get in the face of this obnoxious boy, but refrained. The other 2 racers riding back to the top of the hill were older kids from the higher division. One of them was a sweet high school girl who said she told Beth not to worry about anything that boy said, but that he brags and is mouthy to everyone. There's not a lot of girls that race. I took Beth aside, we talked just a little bit and I explained that he probably wins a lot on the 2nd time down because he upsets the other drivers and the best way to get back at him? KICK HIS ASS! She giggled, then did kick his butt enough to win the overall time and went on to race great that day and finished up 4th place! She had a blast.

Thank you all for your good thoughts this last week. It's been a doozy. I sure went through the stages of grieving. I'm not good at that. We're all mostly healthy and mostly unbroken now. Jeff's back to work and though he's moving slowly, we somehow got all the kids moved around in our Weasley house (many split levels and rooms everywhere). Jeff finished the remodel of the half-attic room, his oldest boy is moved in there. Elizabeth now has her own room and it rocks. The two younger boys are sharing a room, but with how me moved the furniture it seems bigger than before. I had no idea we have so much freaking furniture!

I've also been doing a LOT of knitting to help my sanity. I've had lots of worries and we had some additional crap hanging over our heads with this accident that was adding stress to everything. All of that seems to have worked itself out to the best. I knit one and a half socks in Mountain Colors Barefoot and this time used sz 2 dpns, which seems to fit so they will actually get to be Jeff's. I also got cracking on the boyfriend sweater, have almost one sleeve and am waiting on a knitter from ravelry (I LOVE KNITTERS AND OH HOW I LOVE RAVELRY!!!) who is sending me a ball of the yarn in the exact dye lot I need since I'm again running short on yarn. Damn cotton yarn. He's getting his next sweater in wool as God intended. And I was in a state of general anxiousness that only was made better by casting on with more sock yarn. I cast on some Crafty in a Good Way sock yarn in the Evening colorway that will end up either for me or my daughter. I have to make Joey some more socks before I give another pair to Elizabeth, so I may be casting on more soon. These are being knit up with my new Hiya-Hiya sz 1.5's that I'm LOVING!!! We ordered them from Twist the new shop in Wichita, KS. These needles ROCK! They're aluminum but HOLLOW and light as heck and they rock. MisKnits here in KC now has them also, go check them out!




I also picked up 2 balls of Rowan Calmer yarn for my aunt, the Knitress. My aunt, the one in California who KNITS has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Damn. She had a biopsy, a lumpectomy and then they had to go back for more and a 2nd lumpectomy. She's now walking around with a hole in her boob that they're purposely keeping open and then letting heal? I don't get the whole explanation just know that she's seeing a team of doctors and has great spirits. I asked what I can do for her and she said to ask my knitting friends to all think "heal, hole, HEAL!" thoughts for her. So let's all send the Knitress happy healing boob thoughts, ok? I figured a pretty blue shedir hat would be a nice gift. The fact that it's full of freaking cables and I've never actually MADE a cable before doesn't scare me in the least. Ok, at least not very much. How hard could it be?

no pics today

Well, another wild and wacky week has gone by here at Christine's house. Holy crap. I'm just drained. Sitting Tuesday night at our little coffee shop knitting night with just three of us knitters there I get a phone call from Jeff (my boyfriend). He's been in a wreck in the Ozarks. I ask "are you ok, baby?" "no, I don't think so." ugh. In a nutshell, he was going around one of those lovely hard turns on ozark roads with no shoulders and his tire slipped off the edge of the road, throwing him into a spin. In a nutshell, he went spinning down the sharp ditch and hit a tree, totaling his company car. And almost totaling himself.

He has a broken collarbone from where the seat belt was going across holding him in his seat. He's in some pain and moving slow, but he's alive and I'm so very, very thankful.

I'm also thankful for the good friendship of knitters. Holy crap. I'm trying to figure out how to get my kids looked after, get packed up and get myself the 2 1/2 hours down the road to pick him up from the hospital. The Jo's (Johanna and Joanna) swing into action. They offer to come watch the kids until my folks can get there. Then later I hear from Jeff again and his boss is going to drive him home so I don't need to go. I'm walking about in a daze. I call the girls, letting them know they don't have to come over now. They bring me food, sit and knit with me and keep me calm until Jeff came home. It's amazing how much knitting and companionship can help bring you back to the level where you can deal with whatever comes your way.

The day after the wreck we drove down to the OZ to get everything out of the car at the salvage yard. I am SO FREAKING STURDY and just perfectly calm in a crisis. ROCK SOLID in a crisis. Afterwards, I freak the hell out. I made it through the whole unloading thing, he had a LOT of crap in the car with his sales tools and demo stuff. I wish I'd have brought my camera, but I'm actually glad I didn't. After we got back into the truck, I just was in shock. I know these new cars just crumple up. I know that. But the tree's shape (a damn big tree too) was left in the car about 2 feet in front of the driver's area. The ENGINE crumpled up and was GONE in this big circle shape that was bigger than the entire driver's seat area and dash. 2 feet.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't cry. I just sat there. I had to wait about 15 minutes before I could even drive again. For the rest of the day on Wednesday I just could hardly talk at all. I just went through the motions. I was able to pump myself up enough that when we went to pick up my kids from my folks' house (dad had picked them up from school for me) I was able to talk about their days at school and put them to bed.

Then yesterday I was mad. Mad at everyone and everything. It wasn't pretty. I finally had a big ol' "come-apart" as Jeff refers to my little mini breakdowns I have routinely. He was patient, kind, loving and listening without saying much (I think the boy has finally learned that it's usually best to keep his mouth shut when I'm ranting and raving). Today I think I'm mostly back to usual.

I needed to cast on something though. That always helps. I'm using up the leftover crafty in a good way sockyarn from my daughter's teal pair to make some better than booties socks. Today I'm back knitting and just thankful that we're all here and we're all mostly healthy. Thank God for small miracles.

So, besides bathing in flea and tick shampoo all week, what've I been up to?

It's taking me a while to get back into the whole swing of school, homework and chasing kids around. My kids can each have ONE activity plus scouts. I don't know how those uber-parents do it. I go insane with running around just one night a week. Elizabeth's singing in the KC children's choir again and Joey's playing soccer. I do a little running with Jeff's two boys as they're over scheduled beyond belief (not our idea). One good idea was putting my son on Jeff's son's soccer team, so we're cutting down on a little craziness by that combination. I used to make excuses for missing deadlines and forms and payments and all that crap. Now I just say, "I'm extremely disorganized but I mean well" and smile sweetly. So far, so good. I think I'm caught up for today anyway.

I finished Elizabeth's socks! She loves them. I'm very happy and love them too. I sure wish I had more of this colorway! It's from Andrea's Crafty in a Good Way sockyarn. Have I told you lately how much I love this yarn? OH it's pretty, feels good to knit with AND feels good to wear! Specs: sz 1 dpns, co 64, knit for 1 inch in 1X1 rib, knit cuff and top of foot in 3X1 rib, slip stitch heel flap, decrease down to 28 stitches, kitchener together, sigh lovingly, weave in ends, sigh again. purty.

I also cast on and frogged an almost completed mitten. I'm so very proud of myself for STOPPING before finishing the entire freaking item and then frogging as is my usual method. I do love this Mountain Colors Mountain Goat yarn, but have no freaking idea what to do with it. My first venture was to make Jeff socks. They were beautiful, but felted in his boots and then further with each additional wearing. I ended up lightly felting them all over on purpose (since mostly just the feet were felting which was looking funky) and now they're very thick and warm super socks for one of the kids to wear out in their snow boots. I've tried the mitten, but I'm just not a fan of mittens. You'd think I'd have realized that before BUYING a pattern and then knitting one, huh? I really wanted something to make with this yarn besides a scarf. Maybe a hat? It's soft and lovely looking but making me crazy. I've got one skein of dark brown (bark brown colorway) and one of black. I guess it's back into the stash for this stuff.


I also cast on and am turning the heel on a pair of Mountain Colors Bearfoot socks for Jeff. The last ones that were supposed to be for him turned out too small and are mine. (and I love them so) I'm using sz 2 needles on these and they seem to be working up larger. I'll wait till I get the first one done and have him try them out to see.



Can you tell we had a LONG weekend with all the kids? Due to the calendar working out with our weekend with the boys last weekend, and then we get them for Labor Day and then again next weekend, this jar may just be filling up soon. It's a dollar per infraction.

For the squeamish among you, please click away now...
TICK UPDATE:
Thanks to my dear friend Susie, I realized maybe I should take a closer look at the little critters I got myself into last weekend. I had a few bumps that weren't quite like regular bug bites. I did some searching on the internet, and let me tell you, I found many ways of AVOIDING the seed ticks, many many things I'd rather not know about them, for instance, they mate, then burrow into your skin, then lay 3000-6000 babies. EACH momma seed tick is possible of laying THOUSANDS of babies. I wasn't able to determine if they lay them in your skin or not, I'm thinking they drop out and lay them nearby like on your bed or leave them to crawl around on the "host" aka "ME" or something equally as lovely. They also carry both lyme disease and rocky mountain spotted fever. After talking with three different nurse lines and getting three different stories I called our vet. He suggested I buy some flea and tick shampoo for big dogs and wash my whole body in it a few times in the week, soak in almost scalding hot tubs and to not worry too much about the whole thing. yeah. ok. I also did my own version of hack surgery and got rid of the bumps with tweezers and cursing. I pulled one little critter out of a bump on my neck. nice, huh? And let me tell you, I smelled LOVELY for the whole week. I guess part of the magic of the shampoo is it leaves you smelling so chemically horrid that critters die just by breathing the fumes of me. I think I'm over most of the freakout now. I also learned that should anyone find themselves in my position of seeing the critters crawling over ones legs, you should use the sticky side of tape to remove them. I figured a sharp rock and newspaper, fingernails and a shower helped, but didn't do the trick. Next time I'm bringing duct tape to the great outdoors.

We've sent in our bid to the realtor. The place really does have potential, but there's a buttload of work that'll be done before I go hiking off anywhere.

Finally, a much better image to close with. A circle of friends. Tuesday night knitters. We'll sure miss you Gwen!

The Tale of What Killed Country Christine

Yeah. Well, I've pretty much given up on thinking I'll be this living-off-the-land uber woman in 11 years when the boyfriend and I retire to the country after sending our kids off to college. I've been given a more realistic view of the country life. We're planning on scrimping and saving and buying between 60-120 acres that hopefully has a house on it that we can fix up and then when the kids head off to college we'll sell our KC house and head to the country. Jeff will run cattle (I learned it was "run cattle" and not "raise lots of cows") and I'll have a large garden and still work part-time with my consulting job since I telecomute. I'm not much of an outdoorsy kind of a woman, as many of you will remember my fun had with spiders, floods, glasses disappearing into lakes and whatnot. I like my airconditioning. I like my hairspray. But I'm trying. Let's just say my vision has changed from one of a partially environmentally kind human to a mind frame of screw it, I'm gonna chemically bomb the fuxx out of my little area. Why was it that on Green Acres, the little city socialite never had to deal with rats and poop and bugs? Ok, more on that later. First the knitting content.

I've now decided that whole idea of natural dying fibre is also not for me. I reknit the freakishly big hat into one of normal size. Only problem with this lovely soft heavenly pretty naturally dyed alpaca is that as I knit I got these little blue lines across my pointer and pinkie fingers where the yarn was wrapped. No problem, I've had that with many yarns. Only problem is that both palms are blue. Dark blue. All ten fingertips are dark blue. Even my lap where I would rest the hat in progress has blue stains on my thighs. Am I going to sport blue ears and forehead every time I wear this freaking thing? I'm sure there's something I can do like soak in vinegar or other, but seriously. BLUE EARS and FOREHEAD? I am not a smurf. So image #1 of Country-Christine using plants and flowers and lichens and things to dye her fibre while birds sing and butterflies flutter is shot to hell. Fuxx that. I'm hearing those paste food colorings calling my name.

We took an all day trip to the country out south of KC not too far from Iola, KS this last weekend. Jeff's had his eye on this 160 acre farm across the road from his best friend's land, and he wanted me to really SEE the land, walk through the house, etc. We also looked at over 20 farms/land parcels that day. I was being quite the good sport. I had packed extra water and snacks in a cooler bag (you never know when you get to actually find a gas station out there) and had my sock knitting along, I was navigating all these tiny country roads on the map, I wasn't even hardly wearing makeup I was so freaking natural. We went hiking around a few pretty spots that Jeff had found. I really fell in love with this little farm owned by a horse-whisperer guy, but the house was a tiny little concrete box with only 2 bedrooms and not much hope of expanding unless you dozed it and built a new one. We just can't afford to do that. Jeff can do almost anything to existing houses, so we are trying to find an old farmhouse "with potential." I got a few scrapes and a few stickers in my socks and tennies. No problemo. I was COUNTRY CHRISTINE that day. I could handle it.

Well, about 4 farms later we came to the one that Jeff has wanted all along. Everything else we see gets compared to this place, the one across the street from his friend's land. It really does make sense and after hiking through it and one tiny burst of tears and frustration and kicking of a barn timber which made a lot of crappy stuff fall down on my head, I looked at the place with clearer eyes. I saw some potential. There is a beautifully light and cool room upstairs that would make one hell of a craft/knitting/sewing/office room for me. My own little area. That could work. I was using my "potential seeing" eyes and looked past the holes in the ceiling, the RAT POOP, the broken windows and open back door that showed how vagrants and animals had been using the place as a home and toilet for the last 50+ years. I could still see it. Maybe. He promised to take the place down to the studs and the beautiful old wood frames around doors and windows and rebuild it. And put in air conditioning. I could see it. This man of mine really can build anything. Then we hiked back and saw the barn a second time. It really was in good shape, one of those monster old time barns that stand forever. I did like it. Then we hiked back into the back and went through horrendous tall weeds that kept stinging my legs. We hiked back to the remnants of a fenced in old garden. I could see it. I brushed a freaking BIG ASS spider that was about half the size of my hand OFF MY FUXXING LEG and didn't freak out. I was COUNTRY CHRISTINE, remember? I can handle it all. Before this day I often thought of how you can rotate pastures, add plants that repel certain bugs and do things naturally to live with the land. yeah. That thought is over.

We get back to the car, and my legs are still stinging from the grass we walked through. I look down as we're driving to his friends' girlfriend's house and let me just say now THANK GOD there was a house nearby with people we knew. I see these little tiny spots all over my legs. Hundreds of them. Hundreds and hundreds. They looked like tiny spots of mud or blood or freckles. I tried to brush them off, but they wouldn't brush off. I looked closer and THEY WERE MOVING. I start a mild freak out. I look closer and THEY HAVE LEGS and THEY'RE MOVING and they're MY LEGS ARE STINGING. I'm now in what most people would consider full freak out mode. I'm yelling, "THEY'VE GOT LEGS AND THEY'RE EATING ME!" Jeff is trying to reason with me, the poor boy. He's explaining that it's just dirt. I just need to "calm down and relax". I believe my response was something like "RELAX THIS MOTHERFUXXER!" There were an awful lot of F words dropped. Fuxx this, FUXX that, FUXX the FUXXING COUNTRY, repeat. We finally get the approximately 1/2 mile up the road, I jump out of the car and grab the only thing I can find, newspapers and a rock. I'm gouging at my skin and trying to scrape them off. They're not coming off. Jeff comes around the car, I've totally freaked him out by now, I'm shaking and looking for a sharp implement to gouge them off with, I see some metal scythe thing and Jeff jumps in my way and tells me to just take a shower. I run into the house, strip my clothes off on the way and end up in the shower scrubbing myself silly and sobbing like you wouldn't believe. I must have been in there a long time because Jeff came in and asked if I was ok, was I ever coming out. I thought I got them all off, I scrubbed myself almost raw. I'd cried myself out. I came out, dressed myself, apologized for almost running down the people there. I went outside, ready to finish looking at farms. I was ok.

Jeff was treating me like you'd treat a person just let out of an insane asylum. He was speaking slowly and gently. He didn't crack one joke all day about the freakout. I must have been in shock. I couldn't smile or harldy speak. I just walked very slowly. I was doing better, sat in the back seat behind Jeff, his friend Travis in the other front seat. Then I looked down at my poor red shins and (being a redhead with lots of freckles) saw only freckles. I sighed. Then a freckle moved. well FUXX. I was too emotionally shattered to freak out. I scraped the tick and smooshed it. Then another freckle moved. yeah. For the next 3 hours as I rode around that damn countryside I played "kill the freckle". Mostly my freckles stayed put. I just sat there looking and sticking my feet up in the air in strange positions much like a cat cleaning his butt, I'm sure. Then, feeling more like myself, I smacked the shit out of Jeff's headrest each time I killed one. Later that day it was explained to me that those are called "seed ticks." There is also some spray you can use once you mow down the weeds and grass around your homestead area and it will kill the little buggers. Oh, I'm spraying. I'm spraying the FUXX out of whatever country estate we end up with. I almost took a picture of my legs, I wish I would have. I can't explain how many many spots I had on my legs when I first looked down. Of course, once I saw the spots were moving, it was all I could do not to jump out of the damn car.

I figure that boy better damn well marry me before I take on the country life. He's got 11 years. That should be time enough, huh? Here's a few shots of the "before" household. The last one shows the frog that lives in the 3 foot deep pond in the cellar building just behind the house. The house has a basement that's got a solid foundation and is a titch musty but no water in it. Country Christine is dead. City Christine that will try to tolerate the country but is bringing LOTS and LOTS of chemicals is still hanging on by a thread.




When we got home and picked up the kids from mom & dad's I had to laugh. Here's what's on the bottom of our fridge courtesy of all 4 kids. And people thought kids were getting less creative because of all the tv and video games.

Come on, sing along! "It's the most, wonderful tiiiiiiiiime of the year."

First day of school official picture. I love looking back at these, it makes me wonder. WHO are these grown up kids that look like me? I think I'll always think of them as little buggers toddling around the house. *sigh*

You know, if I had any friends, I'd have had one heck of a morning cocktail party. Ah well. Ok, I DO have friends, just most of them have jobs, have no kids or are not the heavily-drinking-in-the-morning types. *sigh* Life goes on. I did too much ravelry-ing yesterday and have to get some serious work done now in my VERY QUIET office here at home. I am loving that. I'll be very glad to see the kids again, I highly enjoy my children, I just am really enjoying my quiet time again.


The really strange part of this picture? Is that I have a freakishly large head. Seriously. Whenever you try on those cowboy hats or fitted baseball hats I barely fit into the biggest sizes. Can you imagine how big this would be on a normal person? I know, I know TAKE IT OFF THE NEEDLES AND TRY IT ON. Yeah, been there, done that. For me, I figured it would just be easier to keep knitting and if it doesn't fit I'll rekit it. No biggie. This is from the Dax alpaca that's vegetable dyed and all natural and such. SLICKEST freaking yarn on the planet. I NEVER lose stitches off my needles. never. Until now. Whenever I'd even try to half stretch it out to try it on just a little, stitches were just jumping off my damn needles. I'd fix one, turn arond, and the little bastard had jumped off again and taken his neighbor with him. I finally put down the dpns and got out an itsy bitsy cord from the old denise interchangeables and did it that way.

This is the softest, most luscious yarn I've ever knit with. If it didn't cost $9.95 per skein I'd knit myself a body bag out of it. Or maybe a blanket I could wrap up in. For now, all I can afford is a hat. One hat. Hopefully soon to be a hat that fits my head.

Ta Da!

Lake Knitting at its finest. Completed the Jaywalkers, LOVE them. LOVE LOVE LOVE them. I almost wore them around the cabin, but it was over 100 degrees and humidity was so bad you could actually SEE the water in the air. I thought I'd better save the try on pics for home in air conditioning! You know, a less anal than me woman would maybe want to frog them back and do some work on splicing the yarn or alternating with leftover yarn from the first sock to fix that huge brown funky stripe. It might really drive an anal woman crazy. Yeah. It's totally making me nuts. Good thing I'm too lazy to do that crap. I've now decided I LIKE the big ass brown stripe because it makes it distinctive. I do. I really, really do.

We all (mostly) survived the big Branson trip and Lake blowout with Jeff's family. Mostly. My neck and right butt-cheek and Jeff's brother's cracked ribs would all say otherwise. Ah well. I forgot I was a not-very-in-shape Thirty FREAKING NINE YEAR OLD and not 20 years old. Drank like a fish, went tubing with Jeff, Mr. Daredevil Himself, driving the sea-doo. I don't know if I hurt worse from the massive wipeouts I took or when Jeff's brother in law was wiping out and I was hanging on for dear life on the back end of the seadoo as watcher. Let's just say at one point, Matt was flying and tumbling on top of the water just like you see those super motor boats do when they burst into bits, I was flying the other way OFF the sea doo and slamming into the water and Jeff and the Seadoo were rolling upside down below the water. Not IN the water, the entire seadoo was BELOW the water. yeah. At least the children and various family members were out of harm's way. Then the buttock? Well, after a few more beers and my high level of normal clumsiness, I hopped lightly out of a boat onto the wet wood of the dock and the next thing I know I'm lying flat on my back. People from the OTHER SIDE OF THE LAKE motored over to see if I was alive. It was so bad that I couldn't even get up for about 20 minutes. Yeah. 39 years old. nice. I now have a bruise over the entire right butt cheek that resembles a map of California. It's black and purple and bigger than my entire hand. (I'm wearing the old swimsuit in the pic so I wouldn't stain my new suit all up with lake water. The chic sitting next to me is Jeff's sister. We really had a great weekend! A true end of summer lake blowout!)

Ah well, at least I finished up my socks and we all had a great time. really. I also finished my daughter's first sock and am almost ready to turn the heel of her teal sock also. Here's some various lake pictures:



Jeff's such a sweet man (when he isn't driving me insane and making me want to impale him with my dpns) that he often brings me little things he sees that made him think of me during his days. Sometimes it's a sunflower, sometimes a cool glass sun catcher with an artsy/modern look, sometimes it's this.


Not the flowers, those came from my little garden. The wicker turkey. It was sitting on our kitchen island when he left early on Monday morning and I came down the stairs to say goodbye. I looked at it, went back to bed. When we got home from this big weekend trip I asked him, "um, honey? What's with the wicker turkey?" He smiled proudly and said, "I just saw it and thought of you." He hugged me tightly and kissed me on the head and walked away. I must have had a look on my face that was saying "a wicker TURKEY reminds you of ME? WTF?" because he came up and said he just thought I'd like it. You know, now I really do. I'm thinking it would look bettter with balls of orange, red and brown yarn in it.

I'm off to work and knit on a left butt-cheek leaning angle. Wish me luck.

Every stinking freaking pound is back ... Yarn and Food diet begins

nice. WHY did I make the end of the big lose 30 lbs bet happen in EARLY MARCH? There was snow on the ground for heaven's sake. Oh, no, we don't want to be skinny and hot in the SUMMER when you could actually SHOW IT OFF now, do we? cripes almighty. Well, after waffling back and forth with an extra 15 lbs of chub, my body got tired of the bs and decided to go back to where it's happiest. I hopped on the scale yesterday just to verify I was only 15 over. I can live with 15. That's a nice number. However, all the great new clothes were screaming tight lately so I thought I'd better check. 30 lbs. Back where I started. Well, not exactly. I've still got the hint of my cool ab muscle lines. They now disappear into belly flop, but they're still almost visible at the top. Also the arms aren't flabby yet. I think pretty much it's all in the belly, butt and thighs. Woooooo it's gonna be fun.
No trainer man, too poor right now with school starting. Gotta do it the old fashioned way. dammit. I did swim some laps at the pool yesterday, I don't swim very well, so I mostly did my own version of the back stroke, but I was feeling good and tired. I also thought, what's a girl to do when she's not feeling good about herself right before a week of going out with the family to the lake and water park? Yup, go swimsuit shopping. Why the hell not?

Forget that whole "getting healthy to live longer" bullshit. Last time I was motivated by money, this time, no money is being offered, so I've got to reward myself with the next best thing, YARN! For every 5 lbs I lose, I'm gonna buy me some yarn. Just sock yarn. Just enough for one pair per 5 lbs. After I lose 25, I get to buy myself enough for a sweater. I think I want some to make the Cozy V-neck Pullover from Fitted Knits. I may EVEN get the recommended yarn, Cascade Pastaza. I really want to make that sweater, maybe this will be the shot in the ass to get going.

I did order myself a sensible and cute tankini from Land's End, thanks Teri! But, since it won't get here in time for this trip I went off to the fancy schmancy swimsuit shop. I figured if those women can't get me into something that's flattering, no one can. Well, I learned that while those ladies in their mid-50's to 70's and still looking quite trim and awfully wrinkle-free do not have a sense of humor. None whatsoever. I am wandering around, get the whole "can I help you" with attitude that you get in a small boutique kind of place. You had better damn well let them help you, because they're NOT going away and will hound you until you either try on the suits they pick out or run away screaming. So, I say, "sure, I've got no boobs and big thighs and need to look good. What've you got for me?" I chuckled, thinking I was being quite humorous. She didn't chuckle. She got a gleam in her eye and disappeared. I wandered around picking out stuff to try on. She retuned with BIG BOOBS in a suit and TAPE. Did you know they have waterproof tape you can use to make yourself a new shape? REALLY REALLY sticky tape? Can you imagine where you're supposed to be taping when the suits are not all that big? HOLY CRAP.

Let's just say I really pissed her off because I wasn't going for the whole plastic surgery in a bag and boobs in a top thing. I did try on the top just to see what it'd look like and to appease the woman, but it HURT. Boobs shouldn't hurt. I wasn't EVEN gonna think about taping up my ass to go to the lake of the ozarks. Not. Gonna. Happen.

I escaped with a bright teal 2-piece that the sales lady kept sighing over. "Of course, it looks DARLING on you honey, but you really should consider the little helpers I suggested." The suit totally matches my jaywalkers socks. I refrained from pulling them out to show her, thinking that would send her right over the edge. Then the other two ladies (also with no facial movements which is quite creepy when they're in a pack like that) came over and exclaimed how much they LOVE that suit, because it's "so sassy!" I took the bag and ran like hell. The last time total strangers were telling me how "sassy" I looked I was buying orange and green glasses. I've got a baaaaaaaaad feeling about this.

We're off to the OZ and Branson with all four kids, sock yarn, sunscreen, and mike's hard limeades!

That whole "I've got the pattern memorized, don't need it anymore" bites me in the butt again.

You'd think I'd learned by now, huh? I can't even begin to list the patterns I THINK I have memorized. I'm just not that with-it. As soon as I do something goes very wrong.

Yes, my multi-directional scarf began taking on a whole new direction. It's not supposed to be making a left turn there, nope. It's supposed to be rectangular. Frogged and started over, and am READING the damn pattern as I go this time. Pattern: Zigzag Modular Scarf by Iris Schreier. Yarn: leftover sockyarn! I'm going to use up my extra bits and think this should be a neat pattern. I'm using fingering weight, mostly koigu, mediumweight Socks that Rock, lorna's laces sock yarn, opal, crafty in a good way and whatever else I pull out of the bag o' ends. I'm using size 7 circs as stated for the pattern even though the pattern's written for medium weight variagated (worsted?) it's looking pretty damn good. Here's the 2nd try:


Startitis anyone? I'm growing rather amazed at just how much yarn I have just SITTING there. Good yarn, often expensive yarn. Just sitting. I've been ravelry-ing my ass off and coming up with good ideas to use up a bit of the stash. Started the linen lace-back tank top from No Sheep For You and also the Very Berry T Shirt from Magknits for Elizabeth using some cotton/wood blend I got from the new MisKnits store.



I'm also counting down the days until school starts again, can I get a WOOO HOOOOO? Oh man. I may have to make myself a pitcher of mimosas and celebrate.

We're heading out for Branson, MO with the whole Brady Bunch crew. Jeff's two plus my two plus us all crammed into a Ford Taurus ("he's touching me! She's touching me!" repeat.) yes, Thank God for ipods. I plan on plugging mine in and not unplugging them until I'm at least 3 feet away from the nearest short person. I do like children, really I do. Just not all four all together in vacation-crazy mode. Then after Branson for a couple of days we're headed to Jeff's lake house (quite small but rustic and quite nice) for a family fest with our Brady bunch, Jeff's folks and his sister and her hubby and two kids. Yeah. I know, don't you wanna be there too? Did I tell you the only air conditioner is one that plugs into ONE window and sometimes doesn't really cool anything? I'm thinking of rigging up a floaty system where I can knit IN the lake. I'm not sure I have sturdy enough yarn that wouldn't be all stained or smelly or ruined by some splashing. What's that? Knit with crap yarn since I'll be in tube-top-wearin' white trash heaven? Hey, even white trash momma's can knit a little koigu, right? I think I'll pull out some mountain colors barefoot again. That's pretty tough stuff.

Sales Tax Free Weekend!!

Hey all you Missouri people or people near Missouri! If you have children, or want to buy computer stuff, now is the time! There's no state sales taxes for the state of MO (and I think NM too) from Aug 3-5th for school supplies, clothing and certain computer items. We're heading to the MO side of KC to do the dreaded wildly exciting free-for-all that is shopping for school supplies in Walmart. Let the flying elbows and white trash momma fighting begin. Let's get ready to RUUUUUMMMMMMMMMBBBBBBBLLLLLE! The only good thing is that I've raised mostly-whine free children. There's nothing more fun than hearing a grown woman arguing with her 6 year old child. "no, I want thaaaaaaaaaaaaat one, not thaaaaaaaaat one Mommy!"

Went out to the KC airport last night around 9:30 to pick up my folks from their Alaskan 2 week vacation. Nice to be retired, huh? I'm sitting there in a waiting chair, knitting along on the 2nd jaywalker sock. Minding my own business. This guy keeps looking at me. LOOKING at me. I make eye contact and smile in a dismissive kind of way. More looking. Then he walks by about 3 times and out of the corner of my eye I see he TAKES MY PICTURE on his cell phone. I see THREE flashes in a row. creepy? yes. very much so, thank you. I'm choosing to think it's because he's a fan of knitting and wants to email the pic of this lovely sock I'm working on to another knitting friend. I'm choosing not to think that he's a total psycho and I'm now going to be added to his wall shrine of airport knitters he's building at home like a freaky episode of csi. nice.

Seriously, what do you do when someone takes your picture but you didn't give them permission to do so? If I were a celebrity I could throw something at them or have my bodyguards stomp on their camera/phone. Ah well, since I'm such the local celebrity this has happened ONCE I should probably get the hell over it. It was just freaky.

Then I am waiting with my folks about half and hour later and this woman comes up and taps me on the shoulder, asking if I may have lost my cell phone? cripes almightly. I got up and the phone fell out of my damn pocket and was still sitting on the chair. People are so freaking nice. I swear, I turn into Edith Bunker most of the time. Once in a while I have an epiphany and see the world clear and concisely, but 99% of the time I'm a happy, singing off key dingbat.

added later this same morning...No freaking way. I just started reading my bloglines list and found that the Yarn Harlot created a word for this, kinnearing. (secretly taking photos of people with your cell phones.) How freaky is that? I just saw her post after I wrote about what happened to me last night. weird. Or maybe everyone's already taking secret pictures of people all the time and I'm just now figuring this out? Yeah. That'd be about my speed. nice one, Edith, you've been Kinneared.