New patterns are online again

New editions of Crochet Me and MagKnits are up and have some new stuff. I am not tempted in the least by the strange pointy cover collar thing on Magknits, but the socks look cool. There's a very cute crocheted felted handbag & headband & felted flower set that are calling my name from crochet me.

I'm gonna have to start writing at night I guess. My mornings are just getting too crammed. I actually worked almost ten TEN TEN TEN hours today all together. Cripes. I worked at work, ran to class with a kid, went home and worked, picked up other kid, worked, fed children, worked and just put them to bed. The work computer in the corner of the bedroom is OFF baby. OFF OFF OFF. Man, I could never be one of those power chics working my life away. BUT this gives me a bit more time to play tomorrow! woo hoo! Amidst some work tomorrow I am scheduling a Body Combat class and a Jazzercise class. Body Combat is taught by my personal trainer lady who was leading the W.O.W. (women on weights) class that just ended. I'm still no closer to my weight loss goal, so figure I'd better start mixing up the exercise stuff. (Actually class ended two weeks ago and I've mostly sat on my ass building up my "knitter's butt") Knitter's Butt is a terrible side effect of too much chocolate, too much tv and too much sitting and knitting. Knitter's Butt isn't quite as scary as Shelf Butt (where you could set a drink on a coaster up there) so apparently the moving of fingers and clicking of needles provides just enough caloric burn that we just get a nice round thing that slowly takes over the hips and thighs as well.

I've still not given up on the whole knitting while treadmilling thing, but I'm still a bit shaken from my last go-round with the whole almost impaling myself on a rosewood size 11 needle episode..... ANYWAY Body Combat..."prepare to defend yourself. This is a choreographed kickboxing class that will push you to the limits..." Doesn't that just sound like me? Wonder if my limits are anything near the actual limits? Jazzercise, here I come. I'd like to get set on a schedule of doing that more often as I was sweating and a bit sore afterwards but was still able to walk (unlike starting many exercise crazes for me in the past).

So, I have survived exactly four days without real chocolate. The sugar free pudding made with lowfat milk somehow just doesn't satisfy the way a good ol' half bag of double stuffed oreos does. I've also tried VERY hard to limit my processed sugars and white flour. I've only been a total biotch for about 2 days, the other 2 days were intermixed with tears and that blank staring at the wall I used to do after drinking all night back in college. You know the stare, the one where you're only about 2 feet from the bathroom door and have a bucket next to your feet just in case. Yeah, that's the blank stare. Are you sure all this vegetables, meat and cheese is really good for me? Maybe my body is just a freak show that needs its 90% carbs and 10% healthy crap. I'm not giving up the diet cokes, though. The only times in my life I've lived without that vice is when I was pregnant or when I had to quit for the boobie bumps (to see if they got worse or better, they stayed the same, so the good stuff came back into my life hallelujah!)

Loverboy update...he's still there and still sweet. He went through a phase of teasing me nonstop for about a week until I snapped at him and nicely called him MotherFuxxer every few sentences. In a loving manner mostly. I think it got the point across. He told me he can take whatever going through sugar withdrawal does to me. He thinks divorce was enough to help prepare him. silly boy.

how great of a day am I having now?

OK, so I cleaned out the sock drawer. I know, I know. I have like 4 pairs of socks and they're all ugly little white anklets. Shame shame shame on a knitter with no socks....ANYWAY there's undies in there too and about a TON of crap from every time I change purses, I dump and go. I found a freaking check for $100 in there from dad paying me back for paying a bill or something a couple of months ago. ONE HUNDRED SMACKERS and I've been doing a bit too much retail therapy lately, so this puppy is coming in handy! woo hoo!

Also found in the messy drawer was a totally completed punched card from the Yarn Shop & More that is valid for $15 store credit. hmmmmmmm $100 and a $15 credit...what shall I do? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm gonna try to be good and only pick up a few needles I'm lacking. NO MORE YARN. I'm thinking I may use the new yarn from my secret pal for one of those big ol' market bags, but I haven't decided yet.

My daughter decided to work on her grizzly bear project at school, so we only had to get creative on the visual aid (buncha bear pics slapped onto a poster board with various scrapbooking crap around it) and write one paragraph. She even wrote a poem.

If you go walking way out there,
beware, beware of the grizzly bear.
The baby cubs like to play,
but momma bear will chase you away.
They eat a lot and have brown and black hair.
Let's all learn about the grizzly bear.

OK, how freaking cute is that? Oh baby I'm glad that's over. I asked her not to mention anything to her teacher about not starting the 2 week project until the night before, but I'm already busted as the teacher asked the class yesterday and Beth said "mom, you always say to be honest." [ok those of you who just snorted diet coke out your noses, I always SAY to be honest, but I am not always able to accomplish that feat.] I said of course, I didn't want you to LIE, I just didn't want you volunteering any info without need. It looks like we weren't the only derelicks as one other girl was not started either.

Joey's "going to college with mom" tomorrow as there's another Jewish holiday and his after-care program is closed. I am all for my Jewish friends having their fall holidays. Seriously. But the month of October has totally sucked for child care combining the EIGHT days they're closed with the extra days the dang school district has had off for teacher conferences, school improvement days, end of the quarter days... It's a good dang thing I've got some flexibility in my job or I'd be in some serious shit! Poor kid, his version of "going to college with mom" consists of walking into a mostly dead mall to sit in a classroom with me, the only student left, and one professor. Maybe I'll take him wandering around JCCC campus. We can go get a pop or ice cream at the student center or something. Walking an extra 2 miles from the parking lot is always a treat.

I am giving up on half.com as I don't get much action selling books there. I listed about 30 books laying around the house in the "sell" pile yesterday afternoon and I've already sold 5! Not much cashola, but a whole lot easier than trying to sell them on ebay! I'm gonna start ebaying again, but in a while.

I can't put down my clapotis. I'll take pics soon I promise. I am loving it, but ready to have it done and wrapped around me! Jeff said "you're going to have to take a break from knitting so you don't get tired of it" tonight and I didn't even laugh at him. Sweet boy. It's my refuge from the crazy. I have so much freaking yarn and patterns piled up that going through them IS my taking a break! He's working away at my broken free crappy looking cedar chest I got from a garage sale. It's looking very respectable and should be ready to hold yarn by winter!

Jildo's mom has become a real knitter now. She is now sneaking yarn into the house when her hubby is not around. YES baby! She's also told Jill that if something happens to her, she's to get me out to the farm FAST and get all that yarn before her hubby finds it. HAH! I do like that woman! Anyone else wanting to put me on the receiving end of secret yarn stashes, feel free. Knock yourselves out. I'll travel to get it too. Just to help you out, you know. What can I say? I'm a giver.

tidbits

I'm having another boring kind of day. Actually it should be crammed to the hilt as I have laundry to do, work from home (and seriously need to crank out some work), the clutter has invaded again and taken over my life. Normally I can just walk past the tottering piles of crap, but it's making me CRAZY!!! The last few kids that have come over for playdates when we walk through the garage to get inside the house say "man, you guys have a LOT of stuff." and these kids are like FIVE and EIGHT years old, which is pretty damn sad. The garage isn't even the scary part....I was raised by a couple of packrats that were raised by packrats themselves. Not so bad that we save total crap like old newspapers and stuff, but just "you may need this someday......" thinking that helped the grandparents make it through the depression feeding their families of 14 and 11 kids and all that. Well, in this day and age I'm sure I should be better, but I'm gonna throw out some SERIOUS SHXT in the next few days. PLUS, poor Jeff is one of those living simply kind of guys and if we're gonna join our families someday, I've got to get things pared down seriously or the poor boy will run for the hills.

Got a 96 on my midterm, but only a 91 on my project. That's OK with me! A baby! I don't care if it's an A- but it's an A! woo hoo! His comments were basically that I had great ideas and points but didn't seem to develop them too well and I didn't include a bibliography. That's because it was written in about 2 hours (supposed to take 2 months solid work which is why we had no homework other than reading) and the bibliography probably wouldn't look too good written out with "from my the seat of my pants" "off the top of my head" listed. :)

What else? OH well, we totally forgot about Beth's report that's due TOMORROW about the Grizzly bear. I ran by and got a library book and printed off some crap from the internet and we started it LAST night. I'm really trying not to pass my habit of slacking off and then freaking out on homework to the kids, but this one just slipped our minds. cripes. damn bears. I thought we had till Monday, but NOPE. Oh well, guess what we'll be doing tonight?

I'm one row away from the part in Clapotis where I get to start dropping stitches and I'm entirely too excited! I've got a stupid question, so I'm headed for the Yarn Shop in OP. (after working & laundry & cleaning $ AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH screw it, I'm off to the LYS!)

OH, and the Knitty surprises are up. This one cracked me up! It's a sure bet for cheering up a breast cancer survivor out there. I'm afraid to make one myself as since I can't seem to get even a sweater to fit right.....you can image the rest from there.

No hives on my butt, belly or thighs, so I kept on applying (and inhaling, the chubby counter lady said you MUST inhale as you apply to get the grapefruit fat burning lotion working in my brain) today. Things are tingling, but it's probably made with some kind of plop plop fizz fizz alka-seltzer technology to make me think it's working. We'll see. If I suddenly develop thin thighs and less cellulite, I'll be sure to let you all know! (Actually, the day I can try on a normal cut of pants and have them go over the thunder thighs, I will be proclaiming it from a mountaintop. Or maybe the top floor of a mall (we have very few mountain tops around here).

The party is here....or was here...or something like that

SO, GREAT freaking weekend! Friday night I wore a sexy black top with a new bra that actually gives me cleavage and my new jeans and black heeled boots (with no backs of course, I have no normal shoes yet) and looked entirely too good (great hair day to boot) to do nothing, so we went through the preview section of the paper, realized nothing was going on and we were too old & boring to drive downtown where it's hip, so we went to tanners. drank some beers, ate some food, played some pool, flirted a bit and then home to Jeff's house. The dog was boarded for the weekend and kids at sleepovers with their friends, Jeff's boys with their momma, so it was just us. MAN it's quiet when there's not four kids and a dog tromping around. It was heaven.

Saturday was a jumble. Running around doing errands, cleaning the house (or just parts that would show to the party guests), freaking out because no one was coming to my party, picked up Jildo (HOORAY) and basically running around crazytime. On the way to Topeka to get my girlfriend I had turned the music on 93.3 mix music and turned it to the back only. I was chatting on the phone and not paying any attention. My kids love the be-bop crap. no worries, right? All of a sudden I realized Joey's still singing after the song's over. huh. Then I listen and it's "my hump, my hump, my hump.....my lovely lady lumps..." from the Black Eyed Peas. I was like "GOTTA GO--BYE" slammed shut the cell phone and shut down the radio. There's just something inherently wrong about a 5 1/2 year old boy singing about his lovely lady lumps. The rest of the trip we listened to classic rock and old country twang music.

This was our welcome sign at the door, made by Elizabeth. I was all worried as no one was coming to my party. It was Jeff and Jildo and me and the kids for some time, then my brother and his family stopped by for a few minutes, then my cousin (super-Michael the amazing baby-sitting-football-playing cousin) showed up (free beer and free food = Michael's gonna be there). THEN a couple of my friends that just split up from a five year serious relationship oh, about 18 HOURS before the party with the full rollercoaster of emotions, stress, anger, tears, the like, call to say they're coming over. TOGETHER. Hey, is that the makings of a good party or what? (did I mention these were some of my gay friends, not that this should matter, but my poor cousin is this big ol' sweet small town country boy who's a bit sheltered. oh lordy lordy). Of course, there's no one there yet, so it's just a TAD bit of tension, Michael's feeding his face with nachos and as the talk gets more detailed, a few jokes were told and talk got a bit ribald (just a tiny bit) and that poor country cousin of mine was feeding his face so fast it was like a blur. He got up and basically ran for the backdoor. He spent most of the evening outdoors sitting by the raging bonfire with Jeff drinking beers. After some "he said, he said" stuff, one boy went out dancing with friends, and the other stayed with us. As the evening went on, people began trickling in and we had a bona fide par-tay going on. Fire was flaring, moon was bright, kids were running around playing on the swingset and we had a blast!

Sunday entailed sleeping in, (my kids didn't move until after 8:00am, a new record! woo hoo!), knitting on my clapotis (finally) and watching the chiefies WIN WIN WIN, can I get another woo hoo? and best of all, SHOPPING at Dillards, one of my very favorite places to be. Wanna know what stupid thing I bought today? Well, it was either spend all my $$ on a sensible yet cute pair of shoes (I have none) or buy some Shiseido Body Creator. This is expensive grapefruit and caffeine riddled gel crap to slather on your body where you want to lose inches. I know, I know, but it smells good anyway. Self magazine wrote it up a while back and I've been wanting to try it ever since. You're supposed to inhale the grapefruit aroma, which stimulates the brain into buring fat mode, slather the stuff where the grapefruit and caffeine get in there and do their cellulite fighting thing and voila, you're a skinny minnie. Or something like that. Jildo pointed out the fact that the saleslady gushing over this crap was quite rotund, so if it worked so well, why was she so chubby? makes you think, huh? SO I've got me some expensive grapefruit crap. It may take away a dimple or may not. I'll at least smell fruity.

I'm off to knit a bit as my clapotis is gonna be finished in time to snuggle my shoulders when the cold comes.

Editor's note: Two hours after the first application of expensive grapefruit smelly lotion my butt & gut are still tingling. Either something's working there or I'm having a serious allergic reaction.

serious yarn p0rn baby

OH MY GOD BECKY......LOOK AT THE SIZE OF HER STASH!!!!!! I like big yarn and I cannot lie....you other mothers can't deny...... little in the middle but she got much stash......little in the middle but she got much stash.....baby got yarn.....

Ok, so I'm no Sir Mix Alot, but I got some serious stuff in the mail yesterday! Check it out....

Did I lie? OH OH OH I was psyched! I've got a seriously lovely secret pal THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! Cute and funny card with witches (what bitches don't love witches?)...everything wrapped in orange and black...FOUR big ol' skeins of Araucania Nature Wool from Chile in this gorgeous shades of teal with subtle shading from light to dark....it is destined to become a wrap or maybe a shrug or sweater or something cool....a BOOK (I really am addicted to knitting books) wrap Style, TWO, count 'em TWO skeins of Knit Picks Alpaca Cloud (100% baby alpaca) in Sand and Iris (gorgeous and SO SO SO SO soft!) AND a pattern to make THREE beautiful lace scarves called Elizabeth I. I've already got the sand on size 5's starting out...I'm getting gutsy in my almost middle age, going for LACE...this is the first try... cross your fingers for me. What else, OH yeah the cutest purse EVER, see? It was crammed with Do Jiggies (cool little dohickeys you can use on cards or just stick on stuff) I got leaves, stars, flowers and WITCHES!, three sets of glittery body tatoos (2 claimed by the kids, I'm wearing the other one on Halloween!) as well as a sturdy needle sizer/gauge ruler. ALSO these cute little floating candles that look like candy corns! I'm going to use them Sat. night!

See, does she rock or what? I was having a crappy day yesterday, and it just brightened me all up. I totally took the pictures last night at 11pm in the bathroom as that's the only room I could get enough light to take the pic. I wasn't going to wait as I had to have that baby alpaca on needles immediately.

Weekend should be interesting. Jildo's coming to town Sat. night! woo hoo! My party will be pretty damn small as everyone's camping, lake-ing or breaking up (not pretty that one). I should have a nice small group and we can hang and talk and eat and DRINK! I really REALLY need a few beers this weekend and a nice relaxed few days.

Tonight I have no children and no dog. Jeff & I aren't sure what to do (well, we know WHAT to do we just don't know what to do BEFORE we do what we do...) you know, movie? dinner? head out to a bar? shopping? (ok that was my suggestion). Should be quite peaceful! Kids are both at sleepovers and dog's going to the kennel for the weekend.

I got nothing

I'm bored. I'm stressed at work. I'm blah blah blaaaaaahhhhhhh.

I'm gonna read everyone else and see what's happeneing in the world.

I did pretty well on the midterm and project yesterday, should get my grade tomorrow and see.

blaaaaahhhhhhhhh

I survived Jazzercise

SO, I go. I sweat. I work it. I think I may like it, but I'm not sure yet. Jazzercise gets started. I'm doing my thang, stepping, hopping, stretching, bebopping, feeling good. I realize there's no mirrors (what a great concept! I don't think I'd be shaking it or doing those pelvic thrusts if I could see what I looked like). Ten minutes in I think "piece of cake, where's the burn in this?" Twenty minutes in I'm feeling it. Thirty minutes in I'm thinking "how long is this freaking class anyway?" The class lasted right at an hour, we danced, we used weights and I really got a workout. I was worried as I'd had two bad experiences in the past. There was the early 90's getting stepped on and then smashed below two clumsy fat chicks. Not pretty. I had one bad aerobic experience also. We all know that when I'm feeling chubby, the last thing I want to see is some cute bubbly blond bimbo bouncing around in my face. All those aerobics queens were also the cheerleaders back in school, which led to pissing me off further. I was a band geek. Always have been, always will be. I don't mind you peppy chics, you just kind of piss me off when I've split a denim skirt or am trying to survive a day without chocolate and you're talking about how you forgot to eat again. I am so nice 99% of the time, but that 1% when I'm not, it's a scary bitchy thing. Instructor, though cute and bubbly and blond, was not intimidating and actually got me to smile through the class. Thanks Teresa! I have to admit, some of those funkier dance moves I wasn't able to do. I've got no rhythm unless I've got a drink or four in me. Otherwise it's just white girl who can't ever seem to get it right and is one step behind (I still can't do the damn electric slide that plays at every freaking wedding I go to. I'm the master of the chicken dance, but always turned the wrong way at the .....it's electric....)

No knitting news, other than to say my secret pal sent me an email saying my goodies are on their way! WOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO! I'll have pics of yarn p0rn soon! mmmm mmmm mmmm fibery soft goodness......

I'm having a small get-together at my house Sat. night. For a while it looked like it'd just be me, Jildo, Jeff and my gay friends Mark & Russell. Jeff was cool, but just a bit uncomfortable. He asked what time my brother was going to stop by at least 4 times. I finally asked why? He was worried about carrying on conversation with a couple of women and a man who loves barbies. Not overtly homophobic, and a pretty accepting kind of a guy, but still that not quite sure how to sit so as not to give off any vibes around the gays. HAH! I was explaining gaydar to him the other day and I think I freaked him out. Poor little conservative boy of mine.

I took my daughter's girl scout troop to the roller rink today for a skate party. OH I love skate parties. There's still about 4 moms that skate around with or without their girls, I love it, but I know my days are numbered. Beth still thinks its cool to hang with mom occasionally. We did the YMCA......stay at the YMCAAAAAA... I'm sure it will be the "mooo-ooom don't embarass me" and rolling eyes soon, so I'm gonna enjoy this while I can. My feet hurt tonight like a mother bugger, I think I pulled muscles in them, is that possible? cripes!

No knitting accomplished today, but I did complete the project due tomorrow. I've just got to cram a butt-load of crap into my head for the midterm and I'm there baby. Man I'll be glad when tomorrow's over. Seriously, if you're the only student left in a class and still attending and shit, shouldn't I just get the damn A or B without all this stress????? cripes.

I got another letter in my mailbox for "dear neighbor" about the end of the world coming with the hurricanes and now major earthquakes. You know the basics, repent repent repent your sinning ways for the day is at hand... You know, those people may be crazy, but they're sure getting a lot of natural disasters to use for evidence. Between the hurricanes, earthquakes and now the avian flu, it's enough to make you worry. Sure, our government will be right on top of that avian flu thing, no worries. sure. Let's all pray for healthy birds. It scares the living daylights out of me. All I can say is I'd better not lose a bunch of weight, get all hottie and then get sick from bird flu. That would really piss me off.

stupid quiz time, can't help it, I love these things

Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional. You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Your Mood Ring is Light Purple

Clever Witty Sharp

Mood Ring Generator

Your Fortune Is

An optimist is a girl who regards a bulge as a curve.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

sale at the Studio and other shxt I apologize for offending people in advance

How cool is this? Matthew's Birthday Sale at the Studio on Nov. 6 & 7th from 10am-6pm. Bring in a hand knit or purchased child sized hat or mittens for donation to the Children's Place in Brookside and the Studio will give you 25% off ALL IN-STOCK MERCHANDISE! No, I don't need anything, YES I'm going anyway! I've got my eye on some serious yarn and maybe even a bit of needlepoint stuff to boot.

The Studio also has a big barrell for donations for hurricane victims! Go through your stash and pick out something you know you're never going to use and give it so some of the crafters who lost their supplies. You KNOW all of us were thinking "OMG how would I get my kids and MY YARN out???" You know you were. They are accepting all kinds of craft stuff...cross stitch, beading, needlepoint, yarn, needles, you name it, they need it.

I'm off to jazzercise today. Should be interesting.

Last night I went down to SW Blvd and I-35 (the north exit of SW Blvd--that totally screwed me up, having TWO exits for the same road. cripes) to the Rime Center (buddhist temple) for some interfaith council talk with Houston Smith and a local minister. It was "suggested" by my professor (class of one) that it would help my grade "significantly" for me to attend. In my head I thought "jeez, it'd be easier just to sleep with the guy for an A" but I'm a good girl and love my man and would never ever do that. (I only went out with one professor in my wild past and we did nothing sexual, chill people!) I was thinking OH LORD more self-rightous Christian people...but tried to keep an open mind and a shut mouth. It was freaking COOL! This old guy is 86, has a hard time talking, can't hardly hear and reads lips and was barely able to sit upright on his barstool through the talk. He spoke slowly and deliberately and though was difficult for him, he was seriously charismic. I mean he was intelligent, witty and funny and much like someone who seems to represent what "Christianity" should mean. I was so impressed with the guy that I bought his book. I was thinking the other day, when did being a "Christian" stop meaning a person who believed in Christ and tried to live in his example and became almost a dirty word? Around here being a "Christian" has come to mean "Militant Anti-Choice, Gay-Hating, Political PowerMongering Closed Minded and if you don't agree with us you're going to hell people" (and God forbid you're a Christian from Kansas, OH MAN that sounds even worse, doesn't it?) I'm still trying to raise my children in the golden rule and "God is love" stuff. In the idea that being a Christian is different that what is portrayed around us. Jeez, ok, enough with the religious banter, this chic gets too heeby jeeby over the whole issue. Damn world religions college class. If you're looking for a book that talks about the hijacking of the faith by the politicians and also gets on the extreme liberals for forwarding their own ajendas and tries to point out some simple clear solutions in a light, intelligent manner, read it. the Soul of Christianity, restoring the great tradition I'm telling you, even Jon Stewart would love this guy.

I'm such the total suburban momma. Walking from the truck to the rime center last night, I thought, oh, what a cute little trendy neighborhood...I would love to live so close to everything in the city..... Then speed walking up the hill back in the dark, I was thinking I was total mug-bait. Some little old lady opened her gate and stepped out onto the sidewalk ahead of me and I almost wet my pants. I'm such a wimp.

SO, what would any good little Catholic girl do on her way home from a religious discussion? Go visit her divorced lovahboy. sure! Jeff was supposed to have his kids all evening, but after a "discussion" with the ex-wife, was able to come to a compromise and get the kids' school project completed (building a model of the MO state capitol for one boy and food cut into basic shapes for the other) he called and said he had dropped them off and wanted to see me. SO, called Dad, kids were asleep, I dropped by. I think some of my favorite times with Jeff are just sitting on the couch, snuggling and talking about our days. Do you remember when you were first dating your love? When you don't see each other for 5 days and it seems like an eternity? awwwwwwwwww. too sweet. Oh we all know I'm a tramp, so the evening ended nicely too.

WHO is this lady???? religion and dripping romance? ick. I'm off to dance around and sweat my big ol butt off. I apologize, I've had no chocolate for 6 days now and it makes me loopy. I'm trying not to eat fried food and empty carbs, and that has just upset the whole planet alignment/freaky karma system around me. I need chocolate and margaritas. Don't worry Jildo, when you come to town we're going to eat, drink and be merry! Chicken Fingers, chips from Chili's with ranch dressing, margaritas and m&m's are all on the menu!

Later gators, or as Beth would say "see you soon baboon" and Joey would say "same place monkey face". Ahh, raising them right.

monday monday.......

WOW, after that big ol' post this one's gonna seem pretty darn boring. boring boring boring. We did absolutely NOTHING this weekend and it was wonderful! My honey took his boys and one of his single dad friends and his kids to the lake house, so I had no distractions. The kids and I just hung around the house. We did laundry, started an allowance program ($2/kid/week) and decorated for Halloween. We also played outside in the backyard for almost every waking hour. In case you were wondering, I am the queen of both kickball and two-square still. I worked on my project & studied for my midterm that's coming up this WEDNESDAY and got quite a bit done, but am still about where I should have been LAST MONTH. Ah well, I've got 2 days.... no worries. yeah, right.

Class notes...this has gotten a bit weird. It is a class on history of world religion I had to take to get my undergrad degree completed (yes, I'm a 36 yr old college student) It's held at the Mission Mall instead of on campus at JCCC. Normally those classes are a bit smaller, just because no one wants to drive over there. It started around 5 or 6 people. Then it dropped down to about 4. A few weeks ago it started dribbling to 2 or 3 of us, but there was always at least this other guy named Joe. Well, for the last 3 classes, it's just been ME. period. ONE person in this class. The prof still gets up and lectures, but now it's a bitch because instead of a group of people fielding his questions, it's just ME. It's a bit hard to fake it when you're all that's there. No one's officially dropped yet, there are still 5 enrolled, so he won't go for the "email me the test at home and I'll email it back" thing. Nope, he's going to give me the education I paid for. I said I'd much rather save us all some time, take a B for effort (I'm not greedy) and let's call it a semester. nope, he wasn't buying it. dammit. It's still really really weird.

I did go Buddha-ing this weekend and it was pretty cool. The Rime Center was a pretty neat place. I get easily uncomfortable around anyone a bit too religious or a little too artsy fartsy or God Forbid extremely conservative so I expected it to be a bust. I'm going to start going more often. I LOVED it! The whole zen meditation thing was so calming. I think I'd have to keep my own little version of religion I've taken from here & there (it resembles the Catholicism I grew up with but is a titch more liberal) but this could seriously work into it as well. The Lama and his wife are lovely and intelligent people and I am going to start going for meditation lessons in a couple of weeks. (anyone as seriously hyperactive as I am can benefit from learning to be still for a few minutes a day)

That's it, no more bad dreams (whew) and other than some freaky "the sky is falling...the sky is falling" retro religious organization leaving letters in our mailbox that the world is ending (hurricanes, floods, earthqukes, famines, etc) and I need to repent to save my mortal soul, things are pretty normal around here. The letter did make me wonder, did they drop those off at everyone's house, or were they just very concerned for my soul in particular?

I also got the big ol' knitted bag from the last order almost completed, I'm still on the never-ending shoulder strap. Remind me NEVER to make flat straps again. I hate them, I am an i-cord girl.

OH, look out world, I'm going jazzercising!!! I'm gonna go sweat and try not to trip any fat chics at Jazzercise! (A very bad experience with two fat ladies in leotards and my clumsiness at a step aerobics class from the early 90's still has me a bit leery of anything choreographed, but those jazzercise chics look too small to do too much damage if they land on me.)

warning, a long-ass political rant follows...

OK, so first of all, I'm feeling much better and less self-involved. I'm wearing my new pair of jeans with the 1% spandex and am LOVING them. These natural fit things from Eddie Bauer are the most comfortable denim I've ever worn in my life AND they're even slimming. ok, ok, enough commercialism here. OH, wait, Dillard's is having its Clinique bonus time right now. My best friend Jildo said they're even MY COLORS, so even though I never wear any of the crap in those damn "free bonus" bags, my addiction continues and I must have it. Every woman must live through these sore trials of the splitting denim, I guess it's part of our destiny. OK, not every woman, you skinny rich biotches with your private chefs and plastic boobies don't have to do it, but us regular women do. dammit. My alter ego "shallow girl" strikes again.

Knitting news, I'm going to start using the navy sock yarn I got from my secret pal last month. I think I'm going to use the two at a time toe-up pattern she sent also. I'm wearing my "sensible shoes" today and they just don't work with the little white anklets (I only own 4 pair of socks and they're not too whoopy). Look out world, I'm turning into a sock chic....

First, all apologies to my little violet friends, and my red friends, and my blue friends, I've just got to unload a bit of political emotional crap here......
SO, wanna hear my dream I had last night? I only remember a bit of it, but it was a doozy. I SWEAR TO GOD I'm not exaggerating here. I dreamed G.W. got re-re-elected. They had a secret election and I missed it. In the dream there was ONE other rebel liberal Kansan and she missed it too. We were all upset because we didn't get our voices heard, but then we decided the two liberal votes in the sea of right wing ultra Conservativeland aka KANSAS wouldn't really matter anyway. I also remember I was screwed because I had forgotten to put hair spray into my emergency backpack (that I really have created just in case). Hairspray was determined to be too unChristian and women were forced to have flat hair as anything else would "encite the unclean thoughts in the male population". It was terrible. My children were crying and I was having to go into hiding in our bomb shelter (our house was built in the time of the good ol' Cold War and has a cement shelter complete with wooden door and old time glass doorknob in the basement). We had to try to learn to pretend to be good little right wingers and fit in and I was going to organize an underground to try to escape from the state boundaries. G.W. was sending all the good Kansas women to become baby factories to crank out more "loyal Americans". They had some weird chemical artificial thing that'd make you pregnant and the babies would immediately turn into little soldiers. I woke up all in a sweat and freaking out.

WOOOOOOH boy. Where did that all come from? Psychoanalyze anyone? I know the hairspray thing came from talking with Jildo late last night about my "shallow girl" hair issues. The hair enciting the male population thing had to come from my religion class, we've been studying Islam and the ways different groups interpret their sacred text and the role of women in areas of the world. The secret vote thing, well, who thinks the man is being up front and honest about ANYTHING anymore? seriously? wow. The baby factory thing? ewwwww. Who knows where that one came from? I'm thinking that's too close to stem cell research, so we're probably safe for a few years yet.

THEN I get to reading the KCStar. The Iraq update part of the front section states that the Bush Administration is spending $7 billion a month to "wage the war on terror". SEVEN FUXXING BILLION DOLLARS EACH AND EVERY FREAKING MONTH. Do you know how many hungry people that could feed? How big is our national debt getting? Does this scare the HOLY CRAP out of anyone else????? Of course, the article is three tiny paragraphs and buried in the back of the section. Seven billion dollars a month. I must say I was not too encouraged by GW's big speech the other night, rationalizing things, defending why we must continue "the war against terror." What happens when the other countries that are loaning us money to keep alive decide, nah, we'd like our money back? superpower no more. I was encouraged by good ol' John McCain adding part of the bill that to get more $$ for his war, GW will have to accept some restrictions on how detainees and prisoners are treated. Tab for wars could top $350 billion. I do like John McCain. I know, I know, a crazy liberal woman shouldn't but I like and respect that man. Are we SURE we couldn't get a ticket with Hillary Clinton and John McCain? I'd vote for that in a heartbeat!

I did enjoy the picture comparing Harriet Miers (supreme court nominee aka cronyism) to the Church Lady that went along with an article from Wall Street Journal's Peggy Noonan. I couldn't find the pic online, so here's my own version. Whattaya think?

THEN I also read about another 6 marines killed from roadside bombs in Iraq today on the cnn website. Enough already. I am an American, I am proud of our country, I support our troops, but I'm getting fed up and tired of spending money we don't have, lives we can't afford to lose on something that sure seems to be a political and financial motive. After all this, my quote of the day is going back to Mark Twain..."It is easier to stay out than to get out."

I've got to quit reading the paper, I swear the things I learn get me all in a tizzy. So who knew Senator Sam Brownback (from KS) is going to run for Pres in 2008? He's "positioning himself to be the candidate of the party's religious conservative wing." OH dog crap on a stick! We just THOUGHT we were in conservative-land. Just wait until that badboy election gets going. Can you imagine the publicity this state will get in the future??? You know, I really REALLY love Kansas, I love the history, I love the scenery, the sunflowers, the rolling hills, the flint hills, the plains, the fact that my great grandparents etched out a living tilling the soil and surviving fires, hail storms and tornadoes. I think I will become a fundamentalist Kansan. Not the fundamentalist we see EVERYSTINKINGWHERE now, no, the Kansan who loved the pioneer spirit, the midwest ideal of neighbor helping neighbor, the fighting for relgious and other diversities Kansan. I will ignore the Fred Phelps, the moral majority, the evolutionary movement and all the rest. I'm going to be like my Grandpa. He lived his 95 years doing good where he could, not judging others and accepting people of all races, relgions, and backgrounds. He taught me that though people may be different, we are all important and have the same rights and deserve respect from others. He also chopped the heads off rattlesnakes with a hoe as he was plowing his fields before the days of the tractor. I'll just stick with the "treat everyone as you would be treated" thing.

Enough heavy stuff, I'm back to shallow girl status. Gotta get to the buddhist temple this weekend to do the project due this Wed for the history of world relgion class I'm taking. It was supposed to take 4 weeks to do. yup, I shine at the last minute under pressure. Later gators. Shallow girl/mouthy liberal chic signing off.

Wouldn't you have cried too? That's not shorts.

Denim troubles....

Well, I have a lovely picture of my traumatic incident last night. I was getting ready to go to Jeff's house. We were going shopping for shoes. For me. His suggestion. I am the queen of inappropriate footwear. He normally loves my silly flippy shoes, but died when I said the only pair of shoes I have with a back on them is my snowboots. I also have one pair of tennies, but can only wear them with workout stuff, I just can't bring myself to wear tennies with jeans and a nice sweater or button down. I just can't do it. SO I get ready, put on a denim skirt that was a bit snug, did the duck walk to stretch things out, got it to the point I could breathe, and bent over to pick up a dropped curler. RRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPP! Yes, I split the freaking skirt right up the front. See, it had a nice little 2" slit built into the front. Now it has a nice little 12 inch RIP up the front. I have pictures of this saved for when I'm craving a bag of oreos. I would post it here, but MY PHOTOBUCKET PICTURES are all gone....

What did I do? Well, I thought ok. I can put on a pair of jeans. Not a good idea. Not ONE pair of jeans can be zipped. I only have one sad pair of denim capri's that are pretty much walking themselves to death. that and sweatpants. SO, stupid me, I tell Jeff what happens when he asks why I seem sad. I've still got tears in my eyes, it was VERY traumatic. It was a very loud rip. After he laughed at me and joked about noticing a different force of nature with its own gravity pull, he soon realized I was NOT in a mood to be teased and behaved himself.

We went to Oak Park and mall walked. We started at good ol' Eddie Bauer. I found out they no longer carry the one style that always fit me. (tiny waist big ass ass & thighs) I almost cried again. Good night, I'm shallow...ANYWAY they have this great fit called "natural fit" and I got two pairs of the stretch version in a size I have never had to buy before. Jeff was so contrite he'd paid for them while I was still shopping around. Then we hit every shoe store in the mall, found one pair at Dillards I liked that were sensible without looking too manly and got them too. How can I not love this man when he buys me shoes????? and jeans???? too sweet.

Back to Jeff's house (dad very nicely offered to babysit for me) and we built a fire and snuggled and had a nice evening.

SEE, you people just thought I was joking when I said I made denim scream....didn't you? I just duckwalked this poor skirt to death.

Now the issue is socks. I have almost no socks since I only wear silly shoes. SO, I think it's about time I got a mate made for my one little sockie. I think I can do this now! I found a lot of cute sock yarn at the local shops, so maybe I'll be sporting a new look this fall inbetween my flippy days.

New plan...keep working out, start jogging again (ugh) hit Jazzercise (yeah!) and eat less chocolate and sugar and bread and all things good. eat more crap like veggies and meat and cheese dammit. Try not to kill anyone while denying myself all the good things in life. (I'm not very nice without my chocolate and empty calories and carbs). Where's a good old bottle of the old metabolife when you need it???? Why oh Why did I throw my last bottle away? Just a few people were dropping dead, but damn I was skinny......crap eating better and exercising more just sucks. sucks. sucks!!

OK, YEAH Photobucket seems to be on its way back!! I WILL backup my photos this weekend one way or another.

October 5th is National Walk Your Child to School Day

Well, we remembered that as we drove the gas guzzling suv up to the school past throngs of families walking along the street. whoooops. Ah well. My kids figured no biggie. We were actually lucky to be at school before the bell rang today. One of those "I don't care if both shoes are different so long as there's one on each foot!" kind of mornings.

I even took a lovely picture of the felted crocheted flowers I pulled out of the washing machine this am. Freaking Photobucket is not working, all my pics are gone....they'd better just be having a glitch....crap. Of course I had no backups, that would mean I was an organized woman. crap crap crap!

Maybe I'll have pics again later, sure hope so. If not, I'll have to spend a LOT of time going through the old hard drive of the computer or taking a buttload of pictures. I'm sure it's just a temporary glitch...pretty sure...ok just hoping.

Guess what my son said in the grocery store tonight?

OK, so we're walking through the grocery store. Kids are behaving astonishingly well, no fussing, no whining, no fighting. I should've known something would happen. I get a sudden craving for some of those Mike's Hard Limeades. We turn and walk down the cold beer aisle (we're shopping on the Missouri side of state line). There are quite a few women in the beer and wine aisles. We walk through, my five and a half year old son Joey looks up at the coolers and said "Beer, part of this daily complete balanced breakfast." The other women look at me like I'm Satan Mother running a crack house daycare center. I couldn't help it, I lost it. I laughed so hard I even snorted. (and not in a ladylike fashion) I asked Joey where the HECK did you get that? and he just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, enjoying the attention from all the shoppers. Beth did the roll her eyes thing and said "whatEVER Joey". There's no hope for us.

I was not being a good little knitter, I couldn't help it. Knitting round after round for over 75 rounds of a big ol purse just isn't much fun. SO I started pulling all the tiny little balls of leftover noro and such and crocheted a bunch of little flowers to felt and make into pins. THAT would have been great in a sale. Ah well. I'll just make a bunch and get them ready to adorn my daughter's and my jean jackets, purses, and have around in case I decide to do another big ol' sale someday. SO ANYWAY, use up a bunch of different noro little bits in similar color schemes and they are SO FREAKING cute! I'll felt them up and let you know how they turn out. I used the lion's brand website's crocheted flowers pattern. I can't seem to find it now on the website, if you want it, let me know in the comments or email me and I'll send the details to you. It goes very fast.

I'm off to have some of my complete balanced daily breakfast right now. Those kids are nuts.

Picture time....picture time....la la la la la la la la Picture Time!

I always forget this is supposed to be a KNITTING blog, so here's proof that I do occasionally pick up some sticks and yarn....(click small dark pic for larger version of dark pic). Honey boy took the pic at the beginning of my Art Fair and he's not so good with the digital camera yet.

Weekend was WONDERFUL!!! I got my check from the art show, I got my paycheck, I wrote a buttload of bills and still had a few $$ left to spend! woo hoo! Don't worry, I'm sure living-paycheck-to-paycheck-Girl will appear again in about a week and a half!

Friday night sleepover with one of my daughter's friends resulted in about 4 hours sleep for all of us. urgh. The next time I start thinking of hosting one of those evenings, someone smack me upside the head. hard. They were good kids, just wouldn't GO TO SLEEP and they kept me up as well until after 1:30. not a biggie, but then they were up at SIX O'FREAKING CLOCK IN THE MORNING, and they were LOUD....

Sat. evening I went to a serious mansion in south KC with the honey for his Kindergarten parents social for the Barstow parents (rich private school, not that there's anything wrong with that...). OH MY HOLY HELL that place was a monument to what you do when you have entirely too much money to spend. Pretty cool folks hosting the party too. The ex-wife of bf and her bf were there too, but we were pleasant. Jeff was a bit uncomfortable, but all in all we had a great time. We mostly did the hang in the lower level and she hung in the upper level and switch every so often thing.

Sunday Jeff went to the chiefs game (WHY is it so hard to be a kc fan???? Royals, urgh Chiefs--you'd better stop pissing me off....starting out balls to the wall and ending like a bunch of double A college kids.....CRIPES). I took the kids to the Old Missouri Town and I'm telling you we had a blast! There was an online coupon, so it was only FIVE dollars for all three of us (carload is normally only $7). Everything there was low priced, volunteers were friendly and we had a BLAST! I kept meaning to take a pic of someone spinning or dying yarns, (cauldrons cooking over fires and women stirring with big wooden spoons--very cool) but we were too busy watching everything! Here's some highlights of my kids. Joey made his own cowboy rope by cranking this handle tool thing, Beth and Joey made ragdolls ("just like Charlotte on Little House, huh mom?"), we did the hay maze, cake walks, tried tunisian crochet, and found this cool peg knitting thing that I used to use as a kid for Beth. You have a bunch of wooden pegs you loop yarn over and hook over and it's like a giant finger knitting thing that's long and you can make gorgeous scarves from. I'll put pics on and am all excited as I totally forgot about making these way back in girl scouts or something... Good times were had by all!

Don't Date Him Girl!

OK, so where was this website when I was out there?????? OH MY GOD!(said just like Janis on Friends) I know, I know, there are probably some of these cases where women just had an axe to grind, but OH LORDY just think of the things it could have helped with!!!! It's a listing of men who are cheaters and their stories. You can search by city or by name. I could've avoided the whole situation with Kenny Rogers lookalike of answering the phone and saying "yes, this is Christine, can I help you?" and hearing "you could stop dating my husband." BAM! WOW, not a good way to find out your prospective man is a cheater. I could've avoided a few other icky guys that I just had a "feeling" about so good thing I didn't continue on.... There weren't any entries by Kansas ladies the other day, but they just started hitting the radio station tour and so I imagine local cheaters'll be on there soon. I just thought WHAT a great idea. It's like a monster group of girlfriends chatting about their list of boys to avoid.

Don't Date Him Girl

OH OH OH I'm glad I'm dating my honey now! We have a quiet weekend planned. Tonight he's coming over later and we're watching tv and snuggling. Doesn't that sound nice? mmmmmm. LOVE THAT! Tomorrow we may or may not take my kids to some festival or other. Maybe the Ren Fest, maybe Old Missouri Town's Fall Craft Festival, maybe to the Steamboat Arabia museum or maybe just to the park. Our only mission is to go to Jeff's house and light a fire in his newly refinished fireplace.

I'm just about half-way through the big bag for the sale, can't wait to be done knitting this thing. I just can't decide what oh what to knit next. It's so strange, I'm tempted to make a tank top. serioulsy. I know it's fall and it's going to be cold soon. I know I was making scarves in the summer so maybe I'm just all akilter, who knows. I'm going to make myself finish the clapotis next, but I've got a serious case of startitis coming on. maybe it's time to wander around and see what looks good on everyone else's list of projects.

I'm barely surviving having kids at home with me and trying to shuffle them around so I can get some work done. HOW ON EARTH do homeschooling parents do this? I'd impale myself on a metal knitting needle before I'd voluntarily keep my children home with me every day. I love my children, I love them more than life itself, but OH LORD I love the public educational system. I'm a much better mother when I have a few hours of peace and time away from the munchkins. I think they like being around me more when they've had a break from me too. THANK YOU TEACHERS!!!!!

Hug me I gave blood....

OK, so don't hug me just go get stuck & bleed for a cause yourself sometime. Damn pta. They are the BEST at guilting you into donating time money and now blood. I know, I know, I KNOW I'm glad I donate and am a part of our pta at the kids' school. The workers were all commenting on how many new donators we had here and how active the pta is at our school. It is a blessing, but I swear some of those ladies are related to Hitler. Seriously. They can convince you to do ANYTHING and do it with a smile. The pres. lives just up the street and I love her, but MAN they're good. We had teacher conferences today, both teachers still love my children. Isn't it wonderful when kids are young enough to still WANT to go to school? The pta had a LOT of good cookies donated for the blood drive, so I had a wonderful excuse to sit down and eat 6 oreos for breakfast. mmmmmm.

Knitting news, still knitting my little fingers off for the last of the bags ordered at my sale. I'm hoping to get it felted by Sunday and in the mail on Mon. Then what should I make???? I've been working only towards sale stuff for so long I can't imagine what I should do for fun. I think I'll finish my clapotis as I really REALLY am ready to wear it now with the temps falling into fall-like days. I need to check the class schedules at the LYS's to see what I wanna do. Maybe a few socks. Maybe that entrelac bag? who knows.

OK, so blood story..... I get there, conference one done. conference two done. Sign up for a FIRST TIME blood donor. I get the finger prick and am not ultruisitic enough as I'm praying with my entire being to be too anemic to not donate. (the other criteria were having the flu--nope, being under 110 lbs--HAH, and having HIV or something else equally horrible.) I was mid-range on the anemia thing, so off to the big chairs I go. Before I go any further in the story here I want to state that 99% of all the blood center employees are WONDERFUL and I think EVERYONE should donate. I just happened to get the one biotch in the bunch. lucky me. I go sit down. I tell her I'm a first timer, please be nice, and I smile my sweetest frightened smile. no sympathy given here as she's pissed that some other chic got to go on the first break and she wanted her cigarette dammit. I think great. She checks my veins, I say "oh, they sometimes roll a bit, so just wanted you to know..." she says "huh" and goes on yelling to someone on the other side of a screen about how SHE needs a break more than JULIE did....etc. great. I sit there, she tells me that she's going to start with a side vein and then move to the big one I say "no thank you, only one stick and then I'm out of here." I smile again. she says "huh" again....pattern is NOT going my way. I ask if she'd rather check out my right arm. It apparently has a small main vein that should work. She pokes me. She missed a bit, told me it was my fault as I must have been squeezing my fist too tight. I think it's because she was still mouthing off at her boss about her damn break. She wiggles it into the right spot. I only grimace, it's not too bad. After a bit it starts to sting pretty good, I think, OMG is this going to be this way the whole time? Another worker comes to check on me and I ask about the stinging, it's the de-coagulant, no biggie, it only lasts a minute. Ms. BIOTCH comes up and says "I TOLD you that." I said, no, you didn't. and smile sweetly.

It's now a piece of cake, laying there, checking out the blood filling up the bag, thinking I am Ms. Humanitarian....I am woman.....hear me roar, or see me bleed, or whatever. Time goes on. They come to check and ask why I'm not squeezing a ball. I said what? Ms. Biotch again pipes up "I TOLD you to do that." I don't even have a ball to hold onto. I said "no you didn't" she said "yes I did" I say "NO YOU DIDN'T" It was all I could do to not say "nuh uuuuuhhhhhhhh" and stick out my tongue. I think WTF??? You're arguing with me NOW?????? Another lady gives me a ball and asks me to gently squeeze. I'm no longer smiling when the biotch comes to check (all the while arguing with someone about her damn cigarette break) and apparently I'm a bit pale as all the workers keep asking if I'm ok, how am I doing, etc. Even Ms. Biotch calls me "hon" "you ok hon?" I'm NOT your hon, HON. I clench my teeth to keep from letting any stray words fly that would not be appropriate in a school cafeteria surrounded by teachers, fellow parents and their small children. At the end I finally am done, waiting for them to pull the damn needle out and she STOPS to carry on her conversation. I'm done smiling, I'm done with the whole thing. I tell her, "I'm sorry you didn't get your break, but could you PLEASE pull this needle out of my arm before I pull it out myself and bleed all over your station? I'm getting a bit CRAZY here..." Another lady comes and helps me out.

All in all, I felt good about what I did. I'll do it again. BUT next time I'll find the NICE one to stick me.

the brady bunch......the brady bunch......

First, the knitting stuff. Let's see.....AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH! I was SO FREAKING STUPID at the sale. Most of the stuff I just sold right off the table. A few I took orders for. no biggie. They're done and out. The ONE BIG MOMMA BAG I had done in a pretty cool painted yarn that I'd gotten CHEAPLY I totally didn't think and went "sure I can make it in that noro yarn, no problemo." WTF was I thinking? I'm almost making this stinking thing for free as I didn't increase the price because my brain was not working that day. cripes. Ah well, it won't kill me.

Remember Godfather's Pizza? I always forget about it when I'm doing the pizza crave. I think pizza hut, little ceasar's and pizza shoppe. Jeff called and told me that the Godfather's just down the street has that good pizza buffet and KIDS EAT FREE ON TUESDAYS. We went and pigged out and had a bucket o' beer last night. I think we spent all of $12. ATE like a big fat momma pig. It was yummy.

On the way home, the kids were quiet in the backseat. Normally this is a sign of trouble brewing, but they were just being artistic. Here's what they each did:

Beth drew the whole brady bunch we are when we are together and Joey drew his momma. Anyone else think I look like an evil mouse overlord?

OK, Joey came to work with me today, so I'm getting SO much work done, hah. I swear, our district has it made. They combine these teacher conference days with school improvement and teacher inservice and end of quarter, etc. days until it's like a freaking extra spring break for the kids. I know it's good for the teachers, but cripes it's hard on us parents. They've got no school for Wed thru Monday. It's getting creative around here. So far Joey's been pretty helpful in that he's found 18 spiders. EIGHTEEN all around my little desk in the dungeon. I'm just thankful my old assistant is no longer here as she had a major fear of spiders. ick ick ick

Johnson County people please go vote

If you're a Johnson County knitter, please take the time to vote for extending the sales tax that goes to the local school districts. It's the only thing on the ballot and it takes a few seconds, doesn't add any extra money out of your pocket, but just extends the current money that would expire in December. Vote early and vote often!

This is just a Kansas Girl post, I can't help it. This state is beeeeeyoutiful now! Driving along the road, there are thousands and thousands of these sunflowers, my very favorite flower! I'm going to make my next sophie bag in sunflower colors, I may even do a bit of needle felting on it, scary, no? Can't you just see a big ol' flower embroidered on the side of the bag and then felted all together? Gotta finish my last bag from the sale orders and then I can relax and knit for fun again!

My kids are all excited about the new Kansas quarters. They're finding them everywhere and hoarding them. I think our family's all getting them in our Christmas presents, but shhhhhh I'm not supposed to say anything. Beth's making these cool origami folded wrappings for them and Joey's polishing the quarters with an old toothbrush and soap (actually it was his new toothbrush, but it became his old one when I found out about it.)

Not much going on around here, working working working and just enjoying the pretty sights by the side of the road. I traumatized no children yesterday, watched my poor poor Chiefs stink up the joint in Denver. Thank you very much. I have a BUTTLOAD of family in Denver who delight in the Broncos/Chiefs rivalry. cripes. It's gonna be a pain in the arse putting up with them now. I still believe and all that crap, it just SUCKS that the game we looked like a small town college team was against Denver. cripes.

yet ANOTHER long-ass post

UNREAL. I am doing a total old lady "time sure flies" thing today. cripes. I blinked and it's almost fall. It is my very favorite time of year...pumpkins, fall leaves, chili, so guess what people, I'll probably be even MORE cheerful. Don't worry, I'm still bitchy even when I'm freakishly peppy and happy. Can't you just imagine how much fun the people around me will have when I get those fun mood swings associated with menopause? bwaa ha ha hhaaaaaaaa!

So the weekend stuff...I am the queen of the roller rink! Jeff and his boys came & crashed the skate party and we all had a blast! I only fell on my butt once, but WOW that floor is hard! I landed on no children, (last time I flattened my daughter and rolled over one of Joey's hands, oops) and Jeff went to the dollar store to stock up on glow in the dark necklaces for all our kids. It was a blast! Sat & Sun were all day long Soap Box racing. Beth drove well, but is just a little too small to compete, so we had fun but didn't do too much damage, we're putting away the car until spring. They had a silent auction where mom & dad ended up with about half the stuff. Beth got the CUTEST denim jacket with a soap box derby car & stuff embroidered all over it and can't wait until cool weather to wear it. Joey got a basket full of legos, walkie talkies, and other boy crap.

Sat. night I went to Jeff's cousin's bday party. I met most of his family and played some Texas Hold Em in a little fun tournament and had a blast. Drank some beers, ate at least 4 pounds of food, laughed and had fun, OH and Jeff broke my toe. MY LOVAHBOY BROKE MY TOE. I even cried a little bit. He was scooting his chair up and ended up setting it down pretty good on my middle toe on the left foot. You know me, the queen of sensible shoes, wearing a pair of black strappy things that had NOTHING between the chair leg and my little toe... He felt so bad and got ice and I said, oh I'm fine and wiped my little eyes (I felt like a dork, crying over a toe). Now I have to wear TENNIS SHOES as the toe is all swollen and black and blue and has an extra bump where a bump should not be and all the strappy shoes go right across that spot of toe. jeez. I taped it to its neighbor toes and am doing fine. You know with all the suffering in the world, you'd think I wouldn't be such a baby, wouldn't you? (but then we all know I'm a titch of a drama queen.)

OK, so my comments thing is on the fritz and I've just gotta comment on those slug bug wars posts! I'm so glad I'm not the only one having fun with this stuff. Teresa, you southern women are just too cute and stylish....doodle bugs, cute cute cute. Beth, you are an amazing mother, teaching your children spanish AND getting them to kiss each other? wow! I think I'll try that with mine, but most likely we'll be back to beating the tar out of each other quickly. Colleen, you're inspiration baby! I'm a great suv-driving fist waving momma too! Amazing how moms can get that arm reaching back to whoop up on a child and not even swerve on the road, HAH! Tam, Cruiser Bruiser, I'm adding that to our repetoire! Camille, you keep smacking up on that boy of yours! It's good for the soul, and I'm sure good for the relationship.

My boyfriend's boys are now into the slug bug thing, but they're saving theirs up. Each boy has a running total of slug bugs they've claimed, one's got around 75 and the other just over a hundred. Jeff said he can now use that against them as when they are being bad, he'll say "I'm going to take 20 of your slug bugs if you don't ...whatever..." and it works! HAH! smart boy.

Jildo, you almost made me wet my pants! Background info for the rest of you...Some time ago I'd had a LONG WEEK of my children making me INSANE. On the way to Topeka to pick up my girlfriend Jill, they had been exceptionally ANNOYING. I'd had enough. I threatened to throw the next child that screamed, yelled or WHINED out the window. It was a quiet last 10 minutes, other than the sound of my youngest boy sniffling. We get Jill, she asks Beth and Joey what's wrong and he really REALLY thought his mom would throw him out the window and leave him by the side of the road and Beth was pretty sure I wouldn't but wasn't entirely sure. nice. It goes down as my best Mommie Dearest moment ever. the shame..... I finally hugged both children, explained their mom loves them and just gets a bit crazy when she hears too much whining and would never ever throw either of them out the window. shame shame shame.

Linda, thanks for sending your link! You were the first person to recognize me out and about, and I swear I felt all famous when we met at the Yarn Shop! I promise to change the pic on my sidebar to update it. Go see Linda's blog and say hello. BTW, she totally dogged on me....something about my not looking anything like my picture as I'm actually quite cute... hah!

Work, work, work. I know I NEED it, LORDY LORDY how I need that paycheck, but STILL...I've got blogs to read, the last ordered purse to knit and a kitchen full of dirty dishes. I've got no time for WORK!

OK, so rereading this post makes me sound like the scariest freaky mom on the block. Seriously, I am not that horrible. mostly.

Slug Bug Wars

I must have been insane. Why oh why don't I think things through before opening my big mouth? Remember playing slug bug? You'd see a volkswagen beetle, yell out "slug bug blue" and punch your little brother in the arm before he could yell out the words and punch you first? Remember if you called a slugbug and hit someone and it wasn't a bug, you got hit twice to make up for it? Good times.

I was driving along with the kids in the car and saw a slug bug and told how we used to do that as kids, and how my little brother Mike was the king of all slug bugs. NOT THINKING VERY CLEARLY, was I? Well, I forgot that back in the late 70's early 80's you only saw one or two vw bugs a day. no big deal. Today in Johnson County, captial of cute vw bugs, we see an average of 24 each and every day, seriously, we started counting. TWENTY FOUR times for kids to hit each other, yell about who saw it first, double hit for retribution and end up in tears and screaming at the top of their lungs. nice move momma. We've had to change the game to hitting the ceiling of the car instead, but there's still a lot of slugging of the brother/sister going on. I'm deciding whether to outlaw the game entirely (which seems very right wing conservative of me, so I really don't wanna do that) or drive them to the vw car lot and let them beat the crap out of each other once and for all.

slug bug green BAM!

Man, is anyone else out there needing to start a support group for addicions to cnn and other news shows? cripes. HANG IN THERE PEOPLE. It's gotta stop sometime. All this craziness even finally inspired me to organize my emergency supplies. We have a bomb shelter in our basement (built mid 50's). It's a solid cement structure, cement floor, walls, ceiling, could withstand the worst of the cold war scare, complete with a WOODEN door with a GLASS doorknob. I don't know why, but that always made me chuckle. Yup, the Russians' bombs were not gonna get through with the little lock clicked on that glass doorknob. Ah well. Anyway, it's our pantry/fruit room thing now and we've huddled down there during a few tornado warnings. I was finally inspired/scared enough by all that's happening in the world to start saving some water bottles, and buy a freaking hand cranked can-opener to put in there along with the first aid kit, etc. I added matches in baggies, a couple of stuffed animals (in baggies), rain ponchos, bug spray, sunscreen and the one extra bottle of Joey's meds he takes with each meal. It wasn't much, but I felt better for doing it. I should have a backpack of emergency stuff in the car as well, and I'm working on that. My biggest fear is something happening when I'm on the other side of town from my children. It's hard not to freak out and wonder what if.... but that makes me crazy again so I try to live for the moment and hug my kids a bit longer and then I feel better.

This weekend looks to be pretty fun. We're going to a glow-in-the-dark roller skating school party from 4-6pm this afternoon. Jeff is bringing his boys and crashing our party so I'll get to see my hottie on wheels. :) I'm going to the dollar store to get $1 glow sticks and bracelets and the like as they're $5 each at the rink. Saturday and Sunday we're soap box racing with TEAM ELIZABETH as she has named us. Joey's head crew chief (in charge of keeping the wheels spinning while the car's up on blocks between running down the hill). Sat. night I'm going with my honey to his cousin's surprise 30th bday and will meet most of the rest of his family. Apparently there's quite a bit of gossip and scuttlebutt going around about me. Should be fun. It's a cocktail party and Texas Hold 'Em tournament. We're not supposed to bring gifts, just money. Taking money from relatives while getting tipsy, my kinda party!

The world religion class is going pretty well. It doesn't have a lot of homework, just graded discussions and two big group projects and midterm and final. I really like this professor and am learning a lot about world history (which I always thought was pretty boring and didn't affect me personally) and have realized I actually like it. I've got 2 weeks remaining before midterm and the first project is due and I've done almost NO studying or work on the project, so I'm good to go. Little Miss Last Minute strikes again. I've started, but that's about it.

STAY SAFE down there people! Especially you, Miss San Antonio!

this n that

Pieces of my mind today. I'm feeling a bit discombobulated.

#1-->Dog party was a great success. I didn't get pictures taken, there was too much chocolate cupcake getting onto everything in sight. Dog was happy, all six kids behaved themselves mostly and we quickly retired to the back yard where they all ran around like crazy short people. Good times. Miles loved his new blue squeaky soft mouse and is still licking and chomping his new beef bone thing. My daughter was wanting to have banners, decorations, party hats and gift bags. We settled on bone-shaped placemats made from construction paper and KC Chiefs cupcakes. Miles the dog is a chiefs fan.

#2-->If you drive a car with flames painted along the sides, it is a federal mandate that your car must at least be within 5 miles of the speed limit. If you go less than 10 miles under the limit, I have been granted the authority to take you aside, beat you silly and duct tape over the flames. What's the deal with flames anyway? My daughter has them on the side of her soap box derby car, but she's EIGHT.

#3-->If you walk in high heels to look sexy, you'd better damn well learn how. I'm going to start making up business cards and teach a class on how to walk in heels. I don't wanna see any more tentative dainty little steps with wobbling ankles and I don't wanna see any more clod-hopping shaggy from scooby doo flopping feet. Walk as if those heels are an extension of your beautiful legs and walk firm. or go buy more flip flops and forget about it. I saw an 84 year old woman (she told me how old she was, I didn't ask) at the post office the other day and she was STUNNING in her style, carry and the way she just floated along in her heels. Watch a southern woman. I think they're born with heels on. It looks natural and beautiful when done right.

#4-->I'm tired of freaking hot humid weather. cripes. When is that beautiful fall stuff going to get here? I'm ready (ok, not really as none of my jeans are able to be zipped up yet, so unless I want to spend the winter wearing my capri's and having cold shins I'd better get exercising as I've vowed NOT to buy any bigger jeans.)

#5-->I got talked into donating knitting lessons to our school's auction. I donated two sets of lessons with gift cert's to a local yarn shop. I'm a bit intimidated, but my daughter is now working on her 2nd official knitted project and she seems to have picked up from me ok, so what the heck. Hopefully my enthusiasm and love of all things fiber will help this not become the blind leading the blind. I think I can teach anyone to make a scarf now. We'll see.

#6-->damn hurricanes

#7-->damn politicians

#8-->Jon Stewart, I do love that man. He had me chuckling right along last night. My dog looked up at me like I was crazy. My poor poor little boyfriend...if things progress along and we end up living together, he'll have to get used to watching the daily show each night in bed. Poor little violet man. (He voted republican *gasp* because he believed all that "don't change horses midstream" b.s. but seems to be relatively open minded, but is a bit intimidated by the liberal slant I can get going on.)

#9-->I'm hungry and want pizza. I can't afford pizza right now as payday is LONG LONG away and the good ol' art fair moolah is a few weeks away as well. thin crust hamburger pizza.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Damn work keeps getting in my way of getting things DONE!

First of all, I've got too much work to do at work, dammit. Ah well, I shouldn't complain, I have flexibility and have enough to do that I'll never get bored.

I think I must have been smoking crack lately or inhaled too much dye from the fibers I've been knitting up. Seriously. I totally DO NOT REMEMBER telling my children they could have a birthday party for our dog. I do remember saying "yeah yeah later sometime...." or something to that effect. Apparently we're having a dog party tomorrow afternoon. The dog's birthday is in June. We've never had a dog birthday party before, so for some reason it makes sense to the two munchkins living in my house that we need to celebrate the June birth of our dog in September. sure. We're having SIX children (counting my own two) for cupcakes and dog treats on the early release day. damn early release days. The only sane thing I did was make sure the children are only at my house for ONE HOUR. PERIOD. The kids are making dog bone shaped placemats and I'm getting the cupcakes and doggie treats and the midol and pamprin. (yup, pms-ing momma, 6 children, cupcakes, candles and a wild dog. Good combination, huh?) I'm also going to the liquor store as momma's out of beer and I'm thinking one or four would be well deserved later that evening.

I have found PURE STRANDED HEAVEN and it's PRETTY DAMN AFFORDABLE! Where was this when I was forking out the big bucks $38+ a skein for my clapotis (that's still on the needles thank you very much)???? I was at the Studio shop off the plaza and found this BEAUTIFUL FREAKING MERINO YARN that feels like buttah to knit with. AND it's only $10.50/skein with 215 yards. TEN FREAKING DOLLARS A SKEIN. I need to go back with more moolah later. Malabrigo Yarn from Uruguay. This stuff is kettle dyed pure merino wool and the color is called black forest gold and I'm telling you I had more fun knitting this up last night. oooooooooh la la. My laundry is all dumped on the couch as I couldn't stop knitting to fold it and put away. Kids had to pick out clothes from the pile and shake them out to go to school all wrinkly because momma was too busy. poor babies. If I ever finish my clapotis, I'm buying more of this stuff! I'm using the 2 skeins I got to make a sophie bag for each of the preschool teachers that set me up with my Jeff as "thank you for giving me a man" presents. I shouldn't be telling you people about my find, as I really REALLY want to buy it all for myself, but it's just too soft & lovely and AFFORDABLE to not share, plus by the time I can afford to buy more yarn, it will probably be gone.

Have I said how much I love the Studio? OH MY GOD! If you need a certain color of yarn, you call them and they go click click click on their computer and tell you the dye lots and quantities they have in stock currently. I was running around trying to find the noro I need to make the final purse on order from the show and they just were snappy and have it ready for me! LOVE them. Plus the wall of feltable wool, oh oh oh.

Ha! Poor Vicki, I felt bad for you, that Knit Wits is a bit hard to find, I'm not sure of the quickest way to get there. I take I-35 to 151st street exit. The exit doesn't actually say 151st street, it has some strange highway number on it, but it's the exit for the Great Plains Mall. The mall is on the west side of I35 and knit wits is on the east side, off of Ridgeview Road and 151st street. It's buried in the mini mall between Taco Via and the place you go to get your drivers license renewed. I actually get lost in my own neighborhood as well as other parts of the city. I call it "taking the scenic route." It used to drive my ex-husband absolutely INSANE. My kids like it because we always see new sights in the car when going places.

I've decided I'm in trouble when I get older. They're going to put me away in a home thinking I've got dementia. How will I be able to convince the powers that be that I've ALWAYS been like this? I'll just have to not piss off all my friends as I go through life so they can stick up for me when I'm old and nutty. I can honestly say life's never been boring.

OH, Teresa and Sydney, I can't make it to the big party at Jazzercise, dammit! We're soap box racing all dang day Saturday AND Sunday. damn damn damn. OH, I mean yeah yeah yeah (and there was much rejoicing....Monty Python still lives). It is a great family bonding thing, but it just takes a LOT of time and sore muscles. Can I get in on the deals offered if I can't go to that day? Will you find out for me? I really REALLY need to get my chubby butt over there and moving, I'm just not sure how to schedule it into the days.

Hooray for Tuesday!! woo hoo

OK, so the sun is shining, it's beautiful outdoors and I get to work from home today!!! woooooooooooo boy life is good. I've got to go to the LYS to pick up more Noro to make one last bag that was ordered from the art show, and did I say I don't get any of my $$ until UP TO A MONTH????? Hopefully I can expect it in about 2 weeks, but I'm not holding my breath. They have to tally stuff, take out the comission, etc. and THEN I get my moulah. Ah well. My mom was all excited and thinking, why don't you do more of these shows??? Well, because I think that venue is pretty much the only one where people will spend that kind of money on crafted items. Most craft shows are visited by other crafters looking for new ideas and will only buy one of your things in order to take it apart and make it for themselves. So, until 2 years from now, I'm off the show market. I think I will do a small website with some of my extra stuff for sale as there's some interest with the other moms that've been seeing me knit everywhere I go.

Went to the good ol' weights class this am. I was so impressed with myself using that weird looking thing where you support your body with your forearms and then kind of hang there and pick your legs up and down. I felt like a true body builder, I was goddess of the weight room. Then I saw Grandma Moses hop up there. Grandma I swear looked as wide as she did tall (cute, just very round) and was pulling her chubby little legs (complete with knee-high hosiery rolled down to her ankles no less) up just like I did. Well crap. That just ruined my superwoman feeling pretty damn fast.

This morning I swung by the girl scout shop to get Beth's junior gs uniform. I am all excited, she's moderately interested. I wasn't thinking clearly as I was leaving and didn't go the same way I got there. No biggie, right? Whenever I'm in an unfamiliar place in KC, I just go forward as long as I can and then eventually I'll get to I435 which does a loop around the city. Then I get a business call (guess you actually have to WORK when you work on your home office days) and don't really pay attention to where I'm driving. Let's just say I ended up in bumblemuck MO, otherwise known as Raytown. I am not good with Raytown. I get totally turned around and finally found blue ridge road or something windy and followed it in basically the direction I wanted to go until I found a street I recognized. Good thing gas prices are down and it was a pretty little drive.

On 435 headed to KS from MO there is a MAJOR speed trap going on, pretty much from Holmes Rd to State Line. I tried to do the nice thing and flash my lights to warn drivers and realized I don't know how to flash my lights. nice. I have one of those blazers where the running lights are always on and the lights come on for you when it's dark. I'm basically worthless in a car I've decided.

Finished the icord handle for one of the half-way done bags I sold and got it into the mail, so I deserve a little rest. :) I'm gonna eat my taco bell and watch a little tv before jumping back on the old work computer. Isn't taco bell kinda like the white trash cousin of Chipotle? Damn now I want some guacamole and chips from Chipotle....good thing there's not one too close. Maybe after the yarn shop....

ok this is taking yarn too far

From Not Martha's blog, have you seen this???? EDIBLE yarn. The mind hurts just thinking about it. Remember the nose warmers on Knitty a few issues back? Remember the longer version of nose warmers and what some women were knitting for their men? eeeeeeewwwwwwww. sorry. I'm not knitting anything and then eating it, especially if its been warming something that probably didn't need warming in the first place. I would probably just eat the damn jelly yarn to begin with.

Editor's Note:
OK, so I'm totally retarded and must have been suffering from too much wine, not enough sleep and the rest. It's NOT edible, it's that jelly yarn like the shoes kids used to wear. dork. sorry people! I guess you could just knit with ropes of licorice if you really wanted to.

Long weekend summary post

OK, so I survived the big art show. I apologize for all the drama. Who am I kidding? I can't do ANYTHING without drama! Thank you guys for all the encouragement and such, I was a bit pissy lately I must admit! I'm sitting here with a glass of wine, kids in bed, chiefs beating the raiders (so far) and all is calm, all is bright. No round yon virgin's around here, but one happy knitting virgin. HOW DO YOU PEOPLE DO THOSE DAMN SALES ALL THE TIME?????? Here's a strange mix of stuff about today in no particular order... First of all, after paying for booth and commission and cost of yarn, I cleared about $382. That takes NOTHING into account for my time, that's just for what I got less what I paid to get it. I learned a few things, mainly that I need more little items like felted flower pins, OH LORDY I could've sold a million of those things....Just because it's POURING and LIGHTNING and THUNDERING and cold enough that I wear a BLACK long-sleeved shirt doesn't mean it won't get up to low 90's and sunshiney. woooooooo boy that was a humid day. It was one of those sweated-so-much-had-to-take-the-bra-off-while-driving-home kind of days. (I have a bad habit of losing more damn bras that way...being a half-A cup means we wear those things for shape and not much else) We did have big tents which was a blessing, but WOW I think I sweated off 8 pounds at least.

What else? Oh, 8 hours is entirely too long for me to be nice. I need to either do shorter shows or go and cuss at someone half-way through the day. It was freaking exhausting smiling that much. I traded the lady next door one of the felted groove purses for a gorgeous necklace & earrings set, but otherwise didn't spend any of my money except for diet coke!

HONEY boy Jeff was a gem today. He went and helped me set up, got me my morning diet coke, helped charm the little old rich ladies, and then went off wandering. He came back with a skein of hand-dyed yarn from a lady in Overland Park before he left for the afternoon. It was beautiful and should be neat to knit up. She was the only other fiber artist there, she had some different hand spun, hand dyed yarn and some shawls as well. WHAT A GUY! Do you just love him? I do I do I do!

All in all, I sold all my small felted bags, sold all my med felted bags including two that weren't even done (I have to make handles for one and finish felting the other), sold all but one of my big bags (good thing as I said I'd donate it to my kids' elementary school auction) and have orders to fill for 2 more big bags and sold 2 felted groove bags and traded the one felted groove. I sold two flowery scarves and ZERO of the big bumpy wool winter scarves, duh, it was freaking HOT and HUMID and I've got all these winter scarves sitting there. dumbass.

I personally fed a family of mosquitos today. I have at least 28 itchy bumps on my legs between my knees and ankles (capri pants).

WEEKEND UPDATE:
Friday afternoon--> Another Knitting Virgin Sighting!! Jami recognized me while I'm wearing big sweatshirt, sweatpants, no makeup and a ball cap. Scary, huh? Go see her amazing beads, I'm hooked already!! Thanks for saying hi! I loved meeting you and petting the softest cashmerino (was that what it was?) at Knit Wits! I am realizing I am always being recognized when I either look like crap or stink AND look like crap. I used to think it was just a fluke, then I realized I normally go out in public looking like a homeless person. (the first two times I met Jeff accidentally, I looked like total shiX on a stick). I do actually bathe daily, I just often leave the house and have my day and THEN get prettied up for an afternoon or evening encounter. I know, I know, but you gotta remember I'm barely able to freaking DRIVE in the morning, let alone arm myself with curling irons and such. ANYWAY, go see Jami and her gorgeous beads!!

Friday night--> thank you to Miss Amanda for babysitting even though she was wiped out from allergies. The kids had a blast and I got to go hang and drink a bit with the other elementary parents for the "grade" parties. We started at the kindergarten party but there were too many new parents (aka the tank top crowd, damn skinny minnie mommas and fresh faced idealistic new parents) so we boogied to the third grade party where there was some serious drinking and carousing going on. Jeff and I had a great time, full moon, pretty night, pink drinks, big bonfires, good times. Thanks Miss A!!!

Sat--> knit knit knit stress stress stress shuffle kids to parties and soccer games and finally say FUXX IT ALL and sit outside on the front step while the kids played in the driveway and ran around in the front yard until dark. Jeffie came over and we had a nice little domestic evening of playing triple yatzee and then a bit more stress and knitting before bed.

back to Sunday. OH, I also saw the Kumbaya lady today at the art sale! She was walking up and down carrying BAGS of stuff she'd bought, but she was not drawn to the knitting wonders of my table, alas.

I figure this post will last long enough to count for Monday too, so have a nice Monday everyone!!! Big owners are out of the country for a month, I ended up with a sick day on Friday so I missed any last minute stresses coming my way down in the dungeon at work, so I hope to enjoy myself and get some backed up work done in peace and quiet. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Less than 12 hours to go...

AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
that is all.

strange encounter in Johnson County

OK, so maybe I do attract a strange cosmic thing. who the heck knows. I just know that sometimes weird things happen around me. I am driving home after dropping kids at school, enjoying the quiet pretty neighborhoods, cool weather, sun shining down, taking a few back roads to see different scenes. I come upon an estate sale sign. I think "hmmmm" why not? I get up, stand in line as there's about 15 min's left before they open. As I stand there, people keep walking up and dropping a key, a quarter, a squished can, etc. on the sidewalk and walk away. I think they're rude, don't really figure things out, until this nice looking man explains the "marker system" to me. Apparently, instead of standing in line when it's cold or rainy or you're bored or whatever, you drop a marker to hold your place in line and you can walk around or wait in your car. I was a big leaf. very exciting. Well, about 10 min's till opening, all the people come up and take their places, and the place goes NUTS. It goes from 5 of us to 50+ people in about 2 minutes.

Conversations start & stop and I'm always the people watcher, so I enjoyed this lady up ahead of me who reminded me of my wild Aunt Dot. (I wrote about her long ago, she's the "Knitress", a retired high school math teacher with a loud voice, strong opinions and a head of wonderful curly hair who lives in CA and is on a mission to knit something for everyone she's related to--big ass Catholic family no less). I love Aunt Dot. Well, this lady in line is just cracking people up with little anecdotes and opinions. Then a few more people joined in, and suddenly it was like we were this bunch of old friends. EXCEPT for 2 disgruntled old men, they took offense at a comment from wild lady repeating a Jon Stewart quote from the Daily Show last night. Apparently, I was in line with 18 of the 24 liberals in the entire state of Kansas, a few republicans dissatisfied with the general situation, and 2 of the approximately 3 million George W. lovers our state is known for. OH MY HOLY HELL. I mean, this place went NUTS. I kept my damn mouth SHUT (very wisely I might add) and just chuckled quietly when things were too funny to help it. I mean, it was like two ladies were doing stand-up comedy and FAST and FUNNY and SMART, the crowd was laughing its asses off, and the two old men were getting mouthier and mouthier and louder and I swear the one right in front of me (RIGHT IN FREAKING FRONT OF ME as he was the crushed can) starts making fists with his hands as he explains the main lady and all the rest of us who may agree with her about not being happy about GW's handling of Iraq or Katrina or terrorist threats, etc....... are just "all watching the wrong news shows and reading the wrong newspapers" and starts getting ready to TAKE A SWING at this lady. Of course, did I say I was IN THE FREAKING MIDDLE OF THEM???? I decide to get the hell out of the way, stand aside and this other lady (who had previously been totally quiet just chuckling like me) starts singing KUMBAYA.....MY LORD......KUMBAYA.....and waving her hands in the air like she just didn't care right between the two. The place burst into laughter and I almost wet myself. I've never seen anything like it. Every time the old men started up again, it was SOMEONE'S CRYING LORD.....KUMBAYA......OH LORD, KUMBAYA....I just can't even explain it. It was surreal. Quiet little Johnson County Suburbia in the middle of Bible Belt Church=State Anti-Evolution Attorney-General-abusing-his-political-power-for-personal-beliefs Kansas. too freaking funny. And after all that, the sale sucked, but the wait in line was priceless. It's nice to occasionally see there are not only liberals here in Kansas, but also those violets who I'm growing to be quite fond of. (Not entirely red on all issues, not entirely blue on all issues, but OPEN MINDED--phrase came from Miss San Antonio, my very favorite Violet!)

Russell and Mark have both apparently lost TONS of weight by going to the gym and working out and sweating. While happy for them, I'm a bit pissy for myself. I went to the closet to pull out a pair of jeans (as it's now nice and chilly fall weather) and I can't wear ANY of my damn jeans and still be able to breathe. THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!! Though I said I wouldn't buy bigger clothes, I'm cold and want some pants. I'm off to Dillards after class today to find me some jeans, dammit.

SHOPPING UPDATE--> Dillard's has their 75% off sale going, and there's actually a lot of GOOD STUFF still there! I don't know if they've not advertised, or just unloaded a lot of crap, but it was GREAT! Jeff had his boys last night and asked me and my munchkins to meet him for dinner in the food court of Oak Park Mall. mmmmmm. A veritable cornucopia of grease and fortune cookies. I ate orange chicken and thought of you, Jildo! Jeff ate things at the mexican place, sonic, chinese AND the steak sandwich place. AND he's thin. It really pisses me off. After we all eat, we walk the mall hand in hand while our FOUR children all together actually behave themselves, walk pretty much normally, don't break anything and with only one close call of almost wiping out a toddler but missing by mere inches, were well behaved chitlins. THEN the man of my dreams says, "why don't we head into Dillards to shop as they have the big sale going on?" OH MY GOD, no, he's really not gay. I swear. I LOVE this man! Of course, we only shopped for about 15 minutes (all a straight man can handle I think), but still! He picked up the tab on my purchase of 6 shirts (all for $1.99 or $2.49/ea) for the kids and offered to watch the kids at the play/climbing place while I shopped for myself. I said I'd hit the mall with more time and less children, but aaaaaawwwwwwwww.

Also as we were mall-walking I saw that Jones store has its Clinique bonus buy going on, so I'm going to run out to Metcalf Mall before my class.

TWO DAYS LEFT TO PUT TOGETHER MY ART SHOW CRAP and I've just about got it ready. Wish me luck!