Scarf day

"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done."
--unknown

That's about the story of my life. I sewed in the ends on the donation scarf while stuck waiting at the train crossing. I forgot to get a picture snapped, but I'm making another one for an Xmas present, so I'll get that one for my little knitting journal book & blog. Also this morning I got together a big ol basket of cross stitch kits, floss and a couple of books to give to the auction also. I sure hope someone bids on them or I'll be all looking the other way when I hear "who's the loser who dontated that crap?" Ah well, maybe the rich little jo co mommies like crafty stuff. We'll see. If not, I'll buy the dang things back. :)

It was just cool enough this am to wear my fun, colorful Schaeffer yarn scarf to work. I actually wore it until a few minutes ago as it was colder than heck down in the dungeon. It's always a calming feeling to wear something you've made and love. My daughter was so excited about her poncho, she wore it all dang day yesterday (and it ended up 85 degrees in the afternoon). I talked her into taking it off and cooling down when I picked her up. We'll snap pics of her too, Joey is now helping design his "spiderman & GI Joe backpack" that I'm going to make for him. I wonder if Schaeffer yarn felts? I think it should, but will call the LYS to see what they say.

I'm just mellow yellow today. Here, calm, centered and all that.

Jildo, I love you, hope you have some pain-free days or that your mommo will unlock the pain pills cabinet and get you feeling happy. Maybe you could pop out a few extra pain pills and eat some chicken nuggets and cookies! NOPE, then you might gain a pound (gasp). Take care and FEEL BETTER!

I'm entirely too calm today, it's almost frightening. OH, don't worry, as I have to sit down with the hateful one to train on part of her job to do while she's out getting mallied (Sixteen Candles).

Can you feel the hate from there???

SO, little miss Hateful is in rare form today. I was all happy because she is getting married...(not happy for her, happy for ME) as she will be GONE for 6 days of work! woo hoo! How will I ever get through my day without that little dose of pure evil each morning when I start my day? Not to worry, as she is giving out extra little evil glares, slamming doors, stomping, eye rolling and complaining-to-bosses-about-me more than ever, so I can save some of this fun for those empty days when she will be gone.

One funny note, though. I did ask our controller (supposedly her boss, but everyone here is scared of the evil one) to ask her to mop the bathroom floor before leaving for her honeymoon. He said, Oh, she does that each week...I said, no, there's some stains of unmentionable stuff that have been there for over 6 weeks and new ones just appeared 2 weeks ago and are still there. He looked a little faint (I really just said "unmentionable", I didn't give the nasty details) and said he'd talk with her about it....the drama goes on.

I added spider guts and a squished cockroach to the lovely floor today. I wiped up the bug, but still some of the crud remains...ICK. I couldn't help it, I had to wonder, what the HELL are those little dark red spots doing on the floor out half-way between the toilet and the cabinet where our "lady supplies" are kept? Then I had to wonder, even if some nasty woman was hopping around trying to wipe or put something in somewhere and she left this little trail 6 weeks ago, couldn't she figure out what she was doing or why did she have to leave more 2 weeks ago?????? IIICCCKKKKK. Sorry. If I didn't write it, I'd say it and that is not appropriate work conversation.

I did it!!! Finished Projects!!

I am amazed at what I can get accomplished when I take time to knit and don't sleep, eat or go out. :) No, that's not true, I ate like a piggy all weekend long and spent lots of time with the kids, but I also knitted a TON.

I put the last of the fringe on my daughter's poncho at 11:30pm last night and she wore it to school today! I also completed the scarf for her school's auction and it is COOL. Soft, funky and fun. I'll add pic's and details of what yarn I used once the www.photobucket.com is up & running again. Looks like they got hit with hackers, and had software & hardware problems as well. Apparently if you donated $$ to the site, your photos are up again. Since I'm cheap, and use the free service, I'll be waiting for a while. NOW I realize that I should have backed up all the photos I had there....but nope, I'm lazy. NEXT time I'd better do some backups.

I've been trying to find something fun to make for a boy that is not a sweater, socks, hat or scarf for Joey. Amanda gave me a brilliant idea of making a backpack out of my army/camoflauge looking Schaeffer yarn for him. COOL! He'll be all excited.

Knit-In this weekend!

I'm on a mission to complete some projects. And start AND complete a project. One way or another, I'm knitting my fingers like FIRE this weekend and going to get the poncho for my daughter DONE. That one may or may not get accomplished, but it's my goal. I'm also going to start and complete a scarf for my daughter's school's charity auction. I have to go pick up the yarn still, so that one will be my project for Sat.

We're supposed to have pretty weather this weekend, so I plan on letting the little monsters run around outdoors and sitting on my butt in the sun and knit knit knit.

I couldn't help it, I started the sexy tank top and it is going to be SO cool. I worked on it last night instead of finishing my resume and folding laundry or working on Beth's poncho. I think the yarn I picked up at Knit Wits will work. I think this will be my reward knitting project...If I get 3 more inches done on the poncho, I can work a few rows of the tank.... I'm trying to motivate myself in ways OTHER than eating oreos. BUT now I found out they have peanut putter filled oreos....I'm a goner.

I've also got to keep listing stuff on eBay at least until I can again see the floor in my bedroom. I've got all these crates and crates of crap to sell...old clothes, new shoes, new clothes, craft crap, kids stuff...but it takes time to get them on there.

NO social life whatsoever this weekend. I think I'd better shave the old legs just in case since I normally only do that before a hot date (or a leukwarm date) or before I go work out. Since I've had no dates for the last 2 weeks and cancelled my Wed. workout, it could get really scary.

Wow, what a wild life! I am going out next weekend with friends to raise a little heck, so I'm actually looking forward to my antisocial weekend coming up!

Boobie Names

OMG I totally stole this from Stephanie! But, hey, we all need to know what our girls' names are!

http://www.blogthings.com/boobiename.html

As Christine Long, my little ones are named "Siegfried and Roy". Great, my sad little chest is named after 2 gay guys that wear too many spangles. As just Christine, they're "Abercrombie & Fitch" I don't know which is worse!

Orange Oreo Hell

I'm now feeling the 12 orange creme double-stuffed oreos I ate last night at 11:30pm like a big fat rock in my tummy.....

Going to Knit Wits!!

"Be where you are; otherwise you will miss your life."
--Buddha

I'm tired of life going by without me. I resolved to live more in the moment. I know, I know, that sounds like almost every other blog out there, but baby steps here. Last night while Beth was in her little CCD (Catholic Sunday-school on Tuesday night thing), Joey and I spent 30 min's roaming around Hen House (LOVE that store) and had more fun. Then we went and colored outside the school waiting for Beth. Normally when the little ones are busy with an art project or "creation" I'm busy running around doing whatever. I sat down last night and shared a box of 8 crayons and had a BLAST. We went home, got baths, snacks, brushed teeth and went to bed. It was a very domestic, calm, amazing night.

I made 5 different gauges last night of every needle/yarn combo I could think of to see if I could find what I want to use for the sexy tank. I got close, but the one satiny/tapey/thing I thought I could use, looked GORGEOUS, but was just not big enough. It lost the good texture when I used 2 strands and smaller needles, so I'm going to head over to Knit Wits to see if I can't use up that merchandise credit I got when I returned the first set of threads & yarns I bought for it. I'm so excited, I can't stand it.

Also decided for our elementary school's big auction I'm going to whip up a funky scarf in red/black/burgandy splash yarn and give that plus a gift certificate to the Yarn Store (closer to the parents) for a class or for yarn. With how trendy knitting has come and how trendy all the little rich stay-at-the-country-club moms are, it should be a good deal. I t would suck if no one bid on my auction donation.

I've had 2 diet cokes already and am working on my green tea, and am just feeling kind of

Billy Graham and Boobies

Driving home from Worlds of Fun the other day, I saw a big ol billboard of Billy Graham with an expression I think he meant to be holy, but it looked constipated to me. The funny thing was, across the road, directly where his eyes were aiming their holy look was a billboard for one of the stip clubs, one of those signs where boobs are hanging out of everything and you have to look twice to make sure there's any clothes on them at all. It made me chuckle.

So, the hateful one is spreading her cheer. It's now "hate by association" down in the cellar. My co-conspirator and one of the few non-crazies at work has now dropped (or raised) to the level of incurring the hateful one's wrath just by breathing. How much energy does that take to be that evil? We wandered next door for our daily 5 minute break/$.28 refill/chat session and she comes storming (actually stomping) up the stairs behind us, stomps all the way to the Mr. Goodcents, and stomps her little self back down the stairs to work, slamming doors on the way. I must be in an irreverent mood today, or something.

Worked my little fingers till they were getting crampy on my daughter's poncho. I'll take a new pic and update tonight. It's now almost 14" long, and I'm getting ready to be DONE. How will I ever survive making a sweater???? Bigger yarn, but I love the delicate look of the sexy tank I want to make....maybe if I crank out a fun scarf at the same time I will feel like I'm making progress on something...

I'm feeling a bit

I Killed the Tag Board

Well, I killed my little Tag Board tonight. It was cool, but was linked to too many ads coming up on the blog. So sad. :(

Laughed till I almost peed LINK HERE NOW

OK, first of all looking back at Friday night, maybe taking the big bad imitrix migraine pill and a few advils might not have mixed well with the 2 1/2 cosmopolitans....could be part of the barfing problem.

One of my friends passed this one along. Go to www.google.com and type in Weapons of Mass Destruction and then click the "I feel lucky" button. Read the error message carefully, it looks like the standard error page, but cracked me UP.

Here's the link in case you have troubles getting to it...
WPM funny stuff (Remember that it looks like a server error page, but read the details!!!!)

nothing nothing anywhere

So, life is just here. Not bad, not good, just here.

I did have a nice weekend, interesting at least. I learned I am NOT a cosmopolitan drinker. Nope. I don't think I'll drink anything pink for at least two years.

First, my daughter had TOO much fun doing the little junior cheerleader thing at SME. Mostly they stood out on the track and watched the cheerleaders jump around, but she did her share of jumping also. Joey was amazed at the up-close action of the football game and had fun too. I was flashing back to my old band-geek days of fun...

Went home, my cousin came over and I went to "stop by" the 2nd grade parent party to drop off my donation for the elementary auction. They organized these little snack & drink parties that were supposed to last from 7-9pm. Apparently the 2nd grade rich parents at the grade school were not so uptight...all the other parties were shut down at 9:30, I found myself sitting outside on a beer cooler chatting with 8 married men. I thought, this is NOT a good thing for me, (I was TOTALLY behaving myself) but still, NOT a good situation. I went back to being the good little woman and hung out back inside with the rest of the ladies a while before staggering off the block and a half home. 2 1/2 cosmos and I was barfing half the night and every time Sat. morning I even thought about a pink drink. I had more fun than I would have thought possible there, and sent off little thank-you notes to the hosts and bartenders.

Felt like CRAP Sat, but had free tickets to go to Worlds of Fun with the kids. Thanked the good God above that it was lightning and storming until about lunchtime, so I was able to walk 4 feet without barfing. We ended up having a great day there. Was too pooped to even shave my legs, so cancelled with Italian man, my cousin wanted to come over with his girlfriend in town so she could meet the kids, so I called Russell & Mark and we went out for dinner and then I laid on the couch with my favorite little doggie, Sasha and Russell and I watched about 3 Will & Grace episodes from his dvd collection.

Today I knitted through my 3rd ball of Berroca and the poncho is now 12" long. I left the pattern at work, so can't remember, but think it's supposed to be 19"-24" long with trim. It's starting to resemble a real poncho now, I'm so excited!

Spent some time checking out Lion Brand's new poncho and sweater patterns, and think I'm too damn poor to be a yarn snob, so for my next project, I'm heading to the craft store....maybe. I just can't resist the temptation of those damn LYSs....

Friday Friday Friday Friday

"I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all humanity! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building."
--Charles Schultz

So, the little knitted poncho is still pretty dang little. I keep knitting and knitting and knitting and I swear it gets no bigger....It was chilly outside this am on the way to drop off kids for school and Beth asked, Mom, will my poncho be done before it snows and it gets too cold to wear? I'm going to get it DONE one way or another. I wonder if I could knit while I was going on the treadmill? I almost fell over last night just walking and taking a drink at the same time, so I think I'll put that one off for now. Of course, the old treadmill is set with the back a few inches from a cement basement wall covered in paneling, so if I slip, I'm smashed.

Headache headache headache, don't want to be here.... my daughter's getting ready for her first overnight camping GS trip in a couple of weeks. We've been practicing girl scout songs. Today the one repeating in my head is "Gee mom, I wanna go, but they won't let me go, gee mom, I wanna go HOME." Hmmmm, wonder why?

Oh Holy Hallelujah! Allegra's available next Thursday to help get this pile of matted, ugly funky hair under control!!!!!!! Woo Hoo! Can't wait! Went to the grocery store at lunch to buy bc pills (just in case some naked guy falls down in front of me or on top of me--yeah right, I actually take them so I have tiny little "Aunt Flo visits" as my aunt would say) and bought a clip to get this mane under control! I can wear a hat for a week, no problemo.

Scary Hair

ALLEGRA, Please come home and cut my hair!!!!!!!

Just looked in the mirror and SCARED the crap out of myself. My hair is having an amazingly BAD BAD day. Don't have a hat here, no clippies, or scrunchies, I'm just screwed. Maybe I can find one of my daughter's things in the car. I've got strange "every day is an adventure" hair. It's either absolutely fabulous (rarely), slightly strange (normally), or freaking nasty (TODAY). One of my favorite memories is the "day of the bad haircuts" back in Emporia. Jildo, Betsy and I got our hair cut at an upscale (expensive) salon. Jildo & Betsy's do's were very nice. Mine was crooked. So, very nicely, I went back and asked if she'd even up the front as one side near my face was about an inch longer than the other and it bugged the crap out of me. Apparently, I pissed the woman off, and ended up with much shorter, more crooked hair. I'm almost in tears, Jildo says "it'll be ok Tina, we'll fix it". We go to every other shop in town, only one can get me in that day and it is no longer crooked, just kind of crappy looking...I get to the point that I can't stand the feel of the hair on my head, it's so freaky. We take off for Topeka and hit the mall at about 45 minutes before closing time on a SATURDAY so I'd have to stand my new crappy do until TUESDAY as beauty salons close Sun & Mon. Needless to say, I came home with almost NO hair left. It was shorter than most of the guys I knew, but with bangs and a touch of attidude.....basically if I wasn't petite, I would have looked like my big butch lesbian friends. They gave me a hard time as well.

Apparently I have "difficult" hair as it's thick and grows in a wierd circular pattern and has a mind of its own. Then I also have a touch of an obsession with it (I know, hard to believe that anyone would write an essay on hair). SO after years of bad haircuts, I met this wild woman, Allegra. She is a flamboyant, beautiful black lady with long gorgeous hair and slightly scary fingernails. We met at a friend's bachelorette party. She came up to me and said, "oh honey, you are STUCK in the 80's, please let me help you." and gave me a $50 gift certificate for a hair cut or a massage or whatever at her day spa. I came in, she cut on my hair for an hour (I swear to God) and I walked out of there with this new energy & charisma. She teases me that my new hair would give me power like a super-hero. Now, years later, I can't go to anyone else. There is some serious good-kharma powers in what she does to my hair. BUT she's in CALIFORNIA doing hair-weaves on a bunch of rich baseball players' wives that fell under her spell here in KC.

I put in a desperation, "don't make me get my own scissors out" call to Allegra, so hopefully she'll come home soon and rescue me from my scary hair days....

Yup, I've really got to get a life if that's my biggest worry of the day.

"Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable."
--Fran Lebowitz

I would make the BEST spoiled rich bitch! I can already do flamboyant, flakey, passionate, SHOP, and can be an absolute pain in the butt...all I need is the money honey...

Various strange things in my head today...the hateful one is in a real peach of a mood, which I normally wouldn't notice as she hates me even on her "good days", but WOW. I just smile sweetly and look her in the eyes with my dingy, flirt with the old guys look and you can just hear her teeth grinding across the room...I never said I wasn't petty, I get my little kicks where I can.

Had to call a purchasing manager in IL today and his name was Kenny McFarland, the same name of the first boy that kissed me! I totally forgot about poor little Kenny. He was skinny, could do wheelies on his bike and was just coooool. He gave me a little Valentine's day heart candy that said "kiss me" and then pushed me down on the playground. I got up, pushed him on his butt, he got up and kissed me, then rode his bike down the road.... smooth. That was about the extent of the great romance. This wasn't him. The guy sounded about 95 years old with a serious NY accent. Fun remembering though.

Jildo, thanks for calling today!! I loved hearing your friendly voice!!! I think it pissed off the hateful one even more as she was SO pleasant telling me who was on the phone... :) Get over it. Hang in there babe, check back soon, I'm going to try to put a tag board on the blog so everyone can chat back & forth and see comments and stuff.

I'm going to KNIT KNIT KNIT tonight and list list list more crap on eBay!!! Going to try to run my sad little 2 miles again, it's a good thing I'm stubborn.

My crap on eBay

I finally got going on eBay again...listing some of the shoes I have had sitting in my closet taking up space and laughing at me since I have no life and no where to wear them! Don't worry about the Treasure Goddess, she has enough shoes to last about 10 years still!

Here's what I've got so far...
my goodies on eBay

My Wild Aunt Dot, the Knitress

My wild Aunt Dot has a lot of personality, lives in CA, just retired from teaching and was a big-time negotiator with NEA and just has a lot of sass. I love her. She said people ask her what she's going to do now that she's retired and she tells them she's going to be a knitress. She's fallen in love with this passionate knitting world and now cranks out cute hats & scarves and is going to a WEEK of knitting lessons in MEXICO next week. Can you believe it? Three hours of knitting lessons in the morning and shopping and eating in the afternoons. Is that a dream or what???? Guess I have to get a CAREER before I can retire.

Dot's son Kevin is my cousin on the linked blog who is working over in Iraq and sending emails home of his adventures. Here's a picture of my aunt Mary, cousin Kevin, and wild Aunt Dot at a castle in England on Kevin's R&R break from Iraq:


here's Kevin's adventures in blog form with pic's of Iraq stuff:
http://kevininiraq.blogspot.com

Getting my attitude back

"I will dare to just do what I do. Be just what I am. And dance whenever I want to."
--Beverly Williams

HA HA She-Rah is back. I found myself drifting back into "meek Christine mode" and it scared me. No big, bad husband breaking my will, nope, I was letting life hold me down in limbo-mode. I made my little life plans last week and am actually working towards them. I think this running (ok jogging/walking) thing could be empowering as well. I can't control much in my life, but I can choose to be strong, happy and all that. OK, enough pro-woman crap, sorry, I could be the best soap-box, televangilist, cult-leader type when I really get going...can be scary. ANWAY, not letting myself get pushed around any longer. I'm going to be nice, ladylike and tough as shit.

Normally when I have a bad experience with someone, I'll continue the sake of niceties and be polite and end up encouraging people I'd rather get out of my life. I am now vowing to surround myself with positive people and get rid of the negative.

Went back to bowling last night. The one scratch league for women in KC has a strange mix of people. Tough, manly-girls, old ladies who can still knock your ego down with charm, ladies who can't get competitive in life so they are freaking NUTS on the lanes, and normal women too. Interesting mix. SO I had TWO creepy BAD blind dates show up last night as well, as they knew I used to bowl this league. UGH. #1 was a bald (not that there's anything wrong with that--I think Sean Connery and Captain Picard were both sexy but this guy ISN'T) creepy guy that was almost a freaking stalker after one date just "happened" to stop by the bowling alley. eewwww. I used to be polite and make small talk but decided, nope, not the tough strong one, not me. He made a slightly sexual comment and I told him, though we had such a lovely time (gag) on our date, I'm not interested in pursuing our friendship and would appreciate it if he would spend his efforts on some other lucky woman. He almost cried. One down.

THEN an attractive, successful gentleman that took me to dinner & drinks on the Plaza and entertained me with stories and a lovely evening until the kiss good-night stopped by to say hello to a friend bowling in the other end of the center. This guy was smooth, fun, attractive, wealthy and CREEPED me out with our goodnight kiss. Instead of a normal, sweet kiss, or even a passionate thing, it was this wierd start to a normal kiss, and he JAMS his tongue all hard and pointy into my mouth a few times really fast. I can't describe it other than to say it was this wierd desperation thing like BAM BAM BAM until I stepped back fast and said, "OK then", and got into my car and took off. Told him it was so nice to see him, but Jeez sorry, I'm involved. two down.

I'm no longer doing "favors" for people and going out with their friends who would be "perfect" for me. There's a REASON these guys have to have BLIND dates.

OK, I'm not squishing any more bugs. I walk into the kitchen here at work in the basement office and look down at the floor. There are 12 (I swear to GOD, I counted) roly polies crawling around. When I ran outside for a "sunshine" break, three crickets hopped out the door when I opened it. I'm afraid if I squish any more bugs down here they'll all gang up on me and barricade me in my office.

OK, I've got to get to bed, but it's the "yadda yadda yadda" Seinfeld episode...gotta watch. Gonna be grumpy at work in the morning.

Weekend's over...

Well, perfectly BEAUTIFUL weekend in KC. Nothing social, just hung around with the kids. It was kind of refreshing. While my daughter went to a cheerleading camp on Sat. afternoon, I sat & worked on her poncho. It's now almost 9" long. I have to admit those little balls of Berroco are lasting a lot longer than I imagined. I have so many projects I want to start, but am forcing myself to get this one DONE before branching out.

My new dilemma is we have 2 LYS's now, which is a Good Thing as Martha would say, but I always seem to have the wrong shop's stuff with me when I want to go in and sit & stitch. I am working on the poncho (yarn from Knit Wits) when I wanted to head into the Yarn Store (they have a great little kids corner where my munchkins can occupy themselves and have fun while I sit & stitch & chat. Then the yarn I think I want to use for the sexy tank for me is at the Yarn Store, but I KNOW I'll need a lot of help on it and the best help is at Knit Wits plus I work just a few minutes from there, so I can zip in over my lunch break when I'm stuck. How tacky is that?

I also was roaming around Michael's yesterday and picked up some Caron Jewel Box in Jade and it's this amazing mix of jade & taupe with a hint of gold thread mixed in as well. Thought I might try it for the tank top as it's cute and a LOT cheaper than what I've been looking at, but it just works up too thick to hit gauge, and I'm NOT going less than the recommended size 3 needles. I'll try to find something else to use it for.

Life crap--> Sticking to my decision to change my life and quit my bitchin...ok, I don't think it's possible for me to quit bitching, but I can work towards a goal at least.... I got financial aid applied for, almost have the resume up and running and jogged 2 miles today. OH, I decided I'm getting a new job, applying for grad school/teacher certification AND I'm going to run a marathon. OK, those of you who know me can stop laughing now...JILDO...I have not run more than 20 minutes on purpose for the last few years. I got all inspired by this article about a mom of 2 sick CF kids who was tired of being overweight, stressed and felt no control of her life, so she signed up for a triathalon. She trained around everything in her life, got a bunch of sponsors and made all this $$ for CF. NOW she's being flown to Hawaii for the iron man competition and the iron man she just competed in in SWITZERLAND donated a bunch to CF and the Hawaii event is listing the CF Foundation as their main charity. I'm not getting that crazy, but I'm going to run. It might take me a dang year to get there, but I'm thinking Chicago wouldn't be a bad city to run around...good shopping and good food there too. Plus, have you ever seen a chubby marathoner?

OK, the chic who can squish roly polies, crickets and even spiders is apparently scared of grasshoppers. I was cornered outside by this green thing that I swear to GOD was the size of the mutant grasshoppers you dissect in 7th grade Biology. It came down to an eye-to-eye thing with his legs quivering like he was going to jump on me any second and me using what I assume to be the same posture and facial expressions of the cowered wolves to the dominant Alpha wolf....almost didn't make it back inside. creepy.

More life crap

"If you have fun at your job, I think you're going to be more effective."
--Meg Whitman, President and CEO of eBay

HHmmmmm. What a concept. I remember a time long, long ago in a place far, far away where I worked in this small bank branch in NM and once we got rid of the one poisonous-attitude bitch we LOVED it. We won all the awards for the company with accuracy and top sales, customer retention and the works because we LIKED each other and SUPPORTED each other. Wierd, huh? Enough bitching, gotta piss or get off the pot.

Life plan update--> Dad wasn't being supportive, he wasn't listening to me. He is still supportive, but now his advice is to "milk that job for each and every little dollar they decide to give you and be thankful...get the degree...THEN worry about something else to do." Ah well.

New plan, update resume. Apply for the heck of it, keep on track to finish the last few credits by mid-October. Get financial aid applied for and apply for grad school or teacher certification, GET OUT by Xmas vacation.

Knitting update --> worked my little fingers till they almost didn't move last night. The poncho for my daughter is now about 7 inches long. I'm aiming for about 19", so I've got some serious knitting to do still as it gets bigger as it gets longer. I'm also realizing I need to get over the love I have for thin, pretty yarns and try to adapt to the big stuff as it goes FASTER.

Best part of the weekend coming up --> I've still got a $52 credit at Knit Wit in Olathe! Might just have to mosey over for a look-see.... YES I've still got 4 projects going at once, but I'm close to finishing the fluffy pink scarf, so if that gets done, I'm going shopping.

Making Plans

"Life is what happens while you are making other plans."
--John Lennon

I think my new life plan might actually work. I'm tired of watching the world go by while I'm in the basement limbo level of hell. I had to sign up to be a "treats only, not helper" on 2 of my daughter's brownie meetings last night. It would be 2 days that I would come in early to work and have to leave by 3pm (gasp) which would, of course, mean "preferential treatment" which is the new sin down here. I don't know why, but signing that form and checking the "not helper" box really solidified my decision to DO SOMETHING about my life.

I went home, put the kids to bed, and talked with Dad about my plan. He actually didn't do his classic "my daughter is a flake" sigh but did give his "get the degree first..." spiel. I said I'm almost done there and making progress. I should be all completed by mid-October. He suggested I talk with a few people about working part-time and see if I can get financial aid to do school full-time instead of doing the long program I was originally looking at. Mom gave one of her "I'll wait and see" looks but didn't roll her eyes or make any negative comments, so I took that as a good sign. Dad said if I'm really serious I should keep going on the plan and he'd help out where he could. MAN I got blessed with the best parents and they got cursed with this daughter who turned them prematurely gray!! But, I did pop out a few lovable munchkins, so that helps.

Felt so good that I sat down and knitted a storm on my daughter's poncho... It's now about 4 inches long but it went really fast. Hopefully she'll get to wear it when it starts getting chilly.

New life plan

"Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough."
--Mark Twain

New Life Plan:

#1 --> Find something else to do...Avila grad school for teacher certification?

#2 --> Get the HELL out of this dungeon.

#3--> Not smack the crap out of anyone before I climb out of this hell hole.

#4--> Become a shiny happy person again.

Going knitting today!

I'm making a run for Knit Wits in Olathe, KS for my EXACTLY 45 minute lunch today, going to have to CRUISE! I was just knitting my little heart out Friday night, making some serious progress on the easy tank I started, got about 6" done on the back side when I realized I'd purled about 8 stitches in the middle of the previous row when it should have been knitted. Of course, since so far my version of fixing mistakes is ripping the whole thing out and starting over, so I had to put it in the bag and am going to ask my little all-knowing-knitting-customer friend to show me how to do the thing where you slip in another smaller needle in the row below the mistake and rip to there. I tried, but felt like an idiot as I didn't know which parts of stitches to put in front and behind the needle. So, I'm gonna LEARN something today.

The Monday morning meeting with the owners was not quite sunshine and roses today. No one even said "don't worry". This is what seems to be the new philosophy around here:



I'm just going to hide quietly and do my stuff, knit my little heart out at lunch, and get the heck out at 5:01pm.

Long weekend's over

"Seize the moment! Remember all the women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart."
--Erma Bombeck

You know, that's probably what I would've been thinking on my way down. Yeah, there's that loss of life, sorrow and all that, but I'd be thinking DAMN I should've eaten that 2nd piece of chocolate cheesecake...

SO, great weekend!! JILDO came to town! Woo Hoo! Man, it's sad when you realize you're old enough that your memories are wilder than you are! We caught up, talked a lot, ATE a lot, went gambling, stayed up late, had a good time. YOU get back to KC soon! We have a lot of unfinished business to take care of...Missy B's drag queen show, back to the boats, eating, all the good stuff! I also realized that we must have killed a few too many brain cells in the old days as when we talked I realized I FORGOT a LOT of stories. I'm going to have to start a memory collection...another page full of bad examples for my daughter NOT to follow as she grows up.

Took the kids to the KC zoo and had the best day yesterday. No whining (even from mom), no fighting, beautiful weather, but the zoo really sucks. There's NO animals I swear. We'd walk for 10 min's then see one sleepy animal...walk 10 min's and another sleepy animal... But, we enjoyed the weather and adventure.

Did NOT want to go back to work. Walked down the stairs and was immediately sniffly and stuffy and crud. It's either my mind messing with my body or the layers of mold I believe is growing in the ceiling tiles and under the carpeting from our years of rain leaking down to the cellar...

Why can't I just smack her?

I'm getting a little tired of the crap from "the hateful one". I don't mind that people don't like me, but I get tired of being "above it" when someone has that much hate directed at me for NO good reason. Sure, she's a bitch...Sure, I'm cuter than her...Sure, she wanted my job...Sure, my kids don't get into screaming fits with me...Sure, the big bosses like me...I DO MY FREAKING JOB and am NICE to other people. Seeing as I'm not total white trash, I will restrain myself and be ABOVE it, but I'm tired of it. I'm going to get a candy bar. Dammit.

Oh, besides good manners, professionalism and all that, she'd kick my living ass if I smacked her, but it'd be fun for a minute or two...

OK, it's now almost time to go home and I'm feeling much better. Had a little sunshine, a little venting, realized the dungeon is a crazy place, can't let the crazies get to me. Yup, much more better....gonna have a glass of wine and some chocolate later tonight and kick back & relax.

Yarn Yarn Yarn!

"Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in."
--Evan Davis

SO, spent some time in the Yarn Store & More in OP. I know, I know, I wasn't pleased the last few times I went in there, but I made up for that with my checkbook...

I'll attach some pics this weekend, but I got some GOOD stuff! I'm all excited and now I have too many projects going on at once, but they're all fun and also only about 2" long.

Got some good stuff for the sexy tank, it's now about 1 1/2" long with tiny size 3 needle stitches. It might just be finished in time for NEXT year's Xmas fling, but I'm going to find a way to get it done before this year if it kills me.

Before I found the goodies for the sexy tank, I got a pretty green-ish brown heavy worsted with a touch of tweed for the Summer in the City tank and got about 2" done on the back.

While working on the Summer in the City tank gauge, saw this lady sit down with some Spangle pink variated fluffy stuff and got one skein and size 17 needles and while watching the KC Chiefs lose last night for about an hour got about 2 feet of it done. This will be a bday present for my daughter in Nov.

Started her poncho, which has LITTLE stitches and after working forever, it's now about 3" long. I brought it to work and got laughed at when I said, check out the poncho I'm making....and held up this little tiny thing... It was pretty sad.

Joey's still wanting "boy stuff" so I'm going to have to do some searching out there. I'm not ready for sleeves yet, plus the kid doesn't like sweaters. I've almost finished his camouflage scarf & mini scarves for his stuffed animals, and need to find something else. Everything's pink, fluffy, fun, and girly, so I'll try to find something.

Back to the dungeon that is my life here at work...gonna sit in the sunshine this afternoon and do a few rows of the poncho.

Jildo's coming to town!

"But old women are different from everybody else; they say what they think."
--Ursula LeGuin

Jildo's coming to town! Woo Hoo! I think we realized we were kindred souls from the first time we met (no we're not lesbians, but I LOVE her). We were both young women who said exactly what was on our minds at almost all times. That in itself is not a big deal, but we were in a sorority of about 60 women at the time. I was always in the "inappropriate behavior" discussions with the officers. I was not necessarily a "good influence" with our younger members. Jildo was much more obnoxious, but somehow knew just when to smile and look passive, something I still have not learned. Oh well, life goes on.

My best memories of wild times were with this chic. Padre Island, Panama City, every afternoon & evening heading out. Going "to the library" aka rolling our drunk butts down the middle of the main street in town home from the bars, sitting on the front steps soaking up sunshine and making the trek down for a diet coke from the convenience store...driving down the road with all the windows down and air conditioning on playing Violent Femmes, sitting up talking all night eating m&m's and popcorn and diet dr. pepper... HAIR SPRAY, Red Door perfume (which I still wear), fun times. Man that crap makes me feel old.

If I hear "don't worry" from one more owner, I might just start worrying about the stability of the company...except I'm secretly hoping to be laid off so I can get unemployment, knit, finish the 2 classes I'm in, get a job that actually pays enough money to be able to eat, take off some time and actually see my kids after 7:30 am or before 5:30pm. BUT, the big problem is if they actually close down, I'd be here till the bitter end as I'm the one that gets the invoices ready to send out to keep money coming in. I keep hearing "job security" "job security". Gotta get myself organized.

Is it Friday yet?

"If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people."
--Jim Eason

Bad hair day, bad attitude day.

Man, that was the longest day at work. I was like a little ADHD kid, ok a big ADHD kid, just bouncing off the walls. I must have gone up the long stairs to the sunlight 5 times just to be able to breathe. The last time I got this feeling like I was being held in a dungeon and if you look way, way up you can see the tiny window with sunlight filtering down...that basement thing is getting to me. I also think the place is riddled with mold above the ceiling tiles and around the walls...everyone's ALWAYS sick...but then I think some take advantage of the fact that everyone's calling in sick...who would do such a thing????

I'm too excited that my daughter wants a matching poncho for each of us. She's just barely young enough to still want to match and dress like her mom. OK, I'm a dork, but I think it's cute. I have a picture somewhere of me & my mom in matching (swear to God) lime green bell-bottom pantsuits in the wild wild 70's. I've got to find it somewhere. I'm surprised I didn't destroy it when I was a snotty teenager.

Worked a little on Joey's camo scarf, but my mind is on getting started on Beth & my ponchos. I'm going to complete hers before I even get the pattern for the adult version or start to think about my yarn.....must resist....making myself finish some of the ongoing projects before spending any more $$ on yarn.

My mojo's back!

"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."
--Herb Caen

Don't get me wrong, I'm not an atheist. I'm a good little Catholic girl (learned to drink and gamble with the best of them). BUT I'm a little tired of hypocritical holier-than-thou-while-I'm-actually-a-snake-when-I-think-no-one's looking crap I'm having to put up with on an almost daily basis. Don't want to go into too much detail there, but I'll just call him Preacher-Man for now. We've crossed the line from slightly unethical to downright NOT right. I just shake my head and get out of the way.

Signs that my myteriously-GONE mojo is back......

#1--> My hair was Fabulous today. Nowhere to go, no one to see, but the hair was workin' again.

#2--> Got pulled over by the KS Highway patrol and did NOT get a ticket. Didn't even try to get out of it, just thank God for large black men who like Sinatra and a sassy sense of humor. There can't be too many of them out there, and I'm lucky to be pulled over by one. I was stuck in the construction traffic on I435....lots of cones, no activity WHATSOEVER...and after waiting an eternity, when it opened up, one foot past the last cone I hit the gas, slipped to the far left lane and boogied. Almost got blown off the road by a woman I swear was 90 yrs old --couldn't see much but the top of her head as she BLEW past half-way in MY lane. Cruised on I35, got pulled over by the really tall officer. I asked him, "are you sure you can pull me over here? Is this your jurisdiction?" And he responded "is this a Kansas Highway you're on?" guess that answered that. I also asked why he didn't pull over the grandma that went flying by and he said because he liked my music better. I laughed at him and asked, "then what was I listening to?" and he said "sinatra". He also said he couldn't have known what I was cruising along to if I didn't have every window open and the music up and wasn't I hot in the 85 degree sun? I told him, no, because I also had the air conditioning on. He rolled his eyes and went back to see if I was an axe-murderer with a warrant out for my arrest. I must have passed muster as he gave me a paper to sign but NOT a ticket. woo hoo...

#3--> Had a young thing come on to me in the grocery store at 10pm tonight. It's been so freaking long since I've been flirting anywhere that it took me a while to figure out this cute little guy was following me in the grocery store. He asked some question about the organic section of the store (we have a sad little shelf, not a section at the local Price Chopper), then later at the milk dept. he opened the door for me and scooted my basket over for me to put the milk into. I smiled, then figured out, OH... Then at checkout time he ended up right behind me asking which school I go to...he's home for the weekend from KU law school. I said, oh honey, I'm old old old but thanks for making me feel young again. On the way to my car I thought what the heck, then figured great hair, mojo back, AND the little case of teenage acne zits on my chin must have really worked together to give me the "young" look. Who needs wrinkle cream to look young when you get a zit on your chin?

Did absolutely NO knitting today, and was jonesin' for it. Missed the olympics, as I got some serious work done in front of the old tv with the needles. Packed up the new yarn I bought this weekend to take back tomorrow, tried again to make the strange combo work, and it's not an enjoyable thing.

I give up--yarn's going BACK to the shop

Well, I can't stand it any longer. I've started 5 times now on the stupid yarn combo of the slick and the knotty. Made it through almost 6 rows of the ribbing, can't see the damn stitches because the black is so dark, even in great light, concentrating my little heart out. I've found a store online that has the original Pixel yarn used in the pattern, and I'm going to return the unused skeins to the yarn shop and see if she'll order the yarn in for me. If not, I'll order online. I dropped a stitch and couldn't catch it and the dang thing slipped so fast it was scary.

In the meantime, I was so in a knitting mood that I pulled out Joey's camouflage looking scarf to be and worked a few more inches on it.

We took the library by storm today, I'm afraid. Good thing they have the kids' part down in the basement. We ran by Aunt Angie's playground (across the street from my aunt's house) and the kids ran off some serious energy.

Back to the basement of doom tomorrow....

This tank top is going to be the death of me

I swear, it's a good thing I'm exceptionally stubborn, or this tank top might just start pissing me off. SO, went to the new shiny happy yarn store in OP, KS. Love it there, it's open, friendly, lots of good magazines & books and pretty yarns, but no one there can make suggestions for yarn substitutions or give much help beyond very basic needs. Maybe they are there, but the few times I've needed help and been ready to spend $$ I left there with empty hands and a frustrated attitude. Went to the old tiny Knit Wit in Olathe, and the owner, shop employees and customers were amazing. I ended up with a ton of choices for the gauge and look of the sexy tank I want to stitch. I was also warned by both the owner and one of the customers that I should really think about starting something a little less complicated, but then the customer helped me find a combination of yarns that I could at least see the stitches of....

That said, I'm going INSANE. But, I'm on the 3rd start now. This stuff is a combo of the slickest fibers I've ever touched and a knotted little skinny yarn as well. Trendsetter yarns in Sunshine (shiny black) and Tahki Yarns Pansy which when rolled up in a little ball, is a gorgeous mix of greens and neutrals, when unstrung, is a skinny, knotted MESS, but still looks good. The gauge swatches I scanned don't do justice to this, it looks pretty cool when worked up. The other fun part of this is it is impossible for me to rip out and start up again, I just give up, slip it off the kneedles, cut it and toss it. Good thing I got extra yarn.

I also picked up some yarn and a kids' poncho pattern for when I get too frustrated to deal with the tank (like NOW) to make for Beth.

Didn't do much this weekend, went to Barbie Man & Tool-Man's house to hang out and watch a movie, ate too much, exercised too little, and spent a lot of time hanging with the kids. Today we're off to the library and the park. Should be a good time. I'm bringing the poncho along, leaving the tank-to-be in the closet.

Survived the week, well almost

"Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain."
--Billie Holiday

So, still have the job, just a little more work to go with the same old pay. Life goes on. I've got to start doing eBay again or I'm going to be beyond poor.

GOT my double-pointed needles for the I-cord on the felted purse last night. I sat down, watched the US men get booed forever before their race finally started and i-corded my little heart out. It was amazing! I now have the 50" strap and the little closure strap done. I've just got to sew it together and then I get to FELT! I'm too excited. I've also got to figure out my washing machine. It's one of those things with buttons and computer chips and crap. I'm not sure how to get it to agitate over & over, but I guess I'll find out.

Spent an hour in the new Yarn Store in OP. Wandered around and fell in love with this amazing poncho that has long cuffs and a ribbed neckline. The yarn to make it would be $96 plus tax plus needles. I've found a million more reasonable poncho's that would take a lot less yarn, but this one has STYLE. I tried to get the mystic & mystique yarn used in the easy tank in the Girlfriend's book, but they hadn't even heard of it, let alone stock it. Have to check in Olathe and on the web. I'm sure I could substitute, but I thought until I learned what the heck I was doing, it would be good to use the yarn it was designed in. Still think I have to have the cool poncho...can't decide. They also didn't have any angora. I wanted to make up one of the keyhole scarves to see how they turned out for xmas presents, but will have to try to find that elsewhere as well.

Going to work out and get measured. UGH. This should be motivational, as I've been a lazy ass these last 2 weeks...

Jildo's coming to visit this weekend! woo hoo! Can't wait to see her. Also can't find a damn babysitter, so it'll probably be a slow night, but we can stay up late talking and eating and all that good girl-stuff.

Dead bugs

"It was such a lovely day I thought it was a pity to get up."
--Somerset Maughan

Man, I was asleep by 10pm last night, got up at 6:15 this am, and felt good. I could have slept all freaking day, but then I would have missed out on this exciting day at work. I realized I average about 5 hours of sleep a night, which can't be good for the bod or the soul. I don't think I could get to bed before 10pm on a normal schedule, maybe I should aim for midnight and take baby steps towards 11.

Our kitchen here at work is covered in dead bugs. Kind of gross, actually. Apparently someone else is a good bug squisher, but they left the little carcasses on the floor....A children's song came to mind...

one little, two little, three dead roly polies,
four little, five little, six dead roly polies,
seven little, eight little, nine dead roly polies,
ten dead roly polies on the kitchen floor.

Yup, gotta get out of here and get a life.

The hateful one also does the office cleaning, no actually she gets PAID to do the cleaning, but there's the same little spots on the bathroom floor (I think they're poo but I'm not getting closer to investigate) have been there for over a month now. The owners are in town this week, you think that would inspire her to at least clean the poo and the dead bugs, but I'm not in charge, thank god.

I felt like a red-headed step-child

"The computer is down. I hope it's something serious."
--Stanton Delaplane

Man, today was just wierd at work. If I were a paranoid person I'd start working on the old resume, yeah, right, I'm paranoid about everything at work and I'm lazy, so will probably get fired and then have to scramble to find something... Man, everyone was touchy touchy touchy today. I quietly hid in my little coner office away from everyone and everything. The big bosses are stressed, the crabby people are seriously BITCHY and the crazies are crazier, and the hateful one was in rare form. I left to take my daughter to the dr. to make sure her head was ok after her little head injury incident and REALLY didn't want to come back. I started thinking they were going to fire me because not one of the owners would make eye contact or conversation with me, then I realized they're stressing all over and I'm too busy to fire now. They'd be smart enough to make me work my ass off first, THEN get rid of me when things settle down. Then I thought, who else would take this job at this pay???? no one. just little old me.

I'm stealing a pic from Steph's blog as I almost peed my pants when I was checking out this chic's drawings:http://www.nataliedee.com/



KNITTING -->
I am a dork, I'll admit it. I decided I want to keep a swatch of each of the items I knit along with my journal. Then I started looking at these boring little squares, thinking, I should make a miniature scarf of the pattern & yarn of each of the scarves I've made so far. Then I thought, how cute would it be to make a tiny little felted purse?? It would probably make me go insane creating it, but anyway the tiny little scarves are looking cute. I'll attach a pic later. I had an absolute blast and now my little girl wants Barbie scarves and my son wants a scarf for his stuffed Scooby Doo and "Cheetah" who is actually a leopard. I was just killing time as I didn't want to start up a new project while the kids were up and running around, so now our little stuffed animals will be ready for the big winter weather.

Knitting Decisions -- Tank Tops

"Moral victories don't count."
--Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower

I can't decide what I want to do for my first tank top. I'm impatient. No, really. I want to make the sexy, shaped, classy tank I scanned earlier from the magazine, but there's a lot of shaping and expensive yarn and all that. I am trying to convince myself to do the smart thing and start with a simple tank that knits quickly and easily to learn on, but I want the good stuff NOW. Oh well, maybe I'll start with this one from The Yarn Girls' Guide to Simple Knits book:


I also am going to make a bunch of these quick angora one-skein button-hole scarves for the more conservative ladies in the family for Xmas presents:


OK, I'll do the conservative, easier tank now and then do the sexy thing later. I've GOT to have this one to go out in before my group gets together for its Xmas party/Westport/Downtown pub crawl:

Nope, I'm not one of those knitters who only knits for others or for charity or some such nonsense. I want it ALL. I enjoy making funky scarves for friends and my kids, but man, there are TOO many cute things out there that I want for me me me. Selfish, maybe. That's me.

They haven't fired me yet...

"If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament."
--Florynce Kennedy

Isn't that the damn truth? That about sums it up. I'm now the evil one at work as I'm the rebel "liberal" (Democrat) baby-killing (pro-choice, gasp) woman who's put the sanctity of marriage on the line (nope, not by being twice divorced, but by having gay friends). Gasp again. I've GOT to learn to keep my mouth SHUT at work. One little comment turns into this snowball rolling down the hill that will demolish whole settlements at the bottom of the cliff.

Also spoke up at the wrong time in a meeting and almost kicked myself as I did it. SHUT SHUT SHUT the mouth. Nothing changes and I just end up with more work.

Update on the big tournament. I started off hot and looked like I knew what I was doing. I had all these people coming up to me thinking I was from out of town and asking ME for tips. Ha ha ha. THEN 3 games to go, bowled a stinking 159 and watched all those pretty bonus pins I'd earned go down the drain. Couldn't come back from that and finished out of the finals. Oh well. Good thing was I was apparently in better shape than I've been in for years as I was able to still throw the ball and wasn't dying by the 5th game. I was proud of myself anyway, I won a couple of brackets and beat the KC chics I wanted to finish ahead of. Yup, I'm petty. That's part of my charm.

White Girl Lucky Monkey Necklace Powers

"It's okay if you don't know what you're doing, no one else does either. At least you look better doing it."
--Simply She Journal

Got out the "White Girl Lucky Monkey Necklace" from the Chicago trip adventures in Chicago. Hope the luck works here in KC. It apparently doesn't work for birds, as I tagged one on the way home from the practice session. I tried to slow down, but there was heavy traffic and I mean feathers went EVERYWHERE. It wasn't pretty. A four-door Blazer vs a black bird at about 45 miles an hour, I'm betting on the Blazer.

If I make money, no, make that WHEN I make money this weekend, I'm going SHOPPING at the new OP shop for YARN YARN YARN and some new needles. Can't wait!! I spent about 3 hours last night when I should have been sleeping looking on eBay and on all these great yarn company sites, just drooling on my little laptop.

Gotta try to look like I know what I'm doing and maybe faking it will work tomorrow too, who knows?

Breakfast of Champions

"The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it's the opposition."
--Nick Seitz

SO, loved the olympics last night. Is that little American gymnast Patterson the cutest thing ever? OMG I was so into her flips and smile and all that. Hope she gets lots of commercials out of it. That Russian stick of a girl was KILLING me. Each time she flipped I cringed, sure she would just snap in half. I kept waiting for a bony leg or arm to go flying off and the judges to talk about the style with which she lost her limbs. I couldn't stand it. Then the chick would suck in her cheeks before a big jump/flip thing and it just gave me the willies. I had to eat 2 damn cinnamon rolls to make up for it. I know it didn't help her skinny, anorexic ass, but it made me feel much better.

Went out for my little practice session and sign in and all that at Gladstone, MO. Threw the new bowling ball as well as my fave Hammer. Actually looked like I knew what I was doing, could get a little cocky if I'm not careful. I just want to make finals SO bad. The evil little competitor comes out in me in those occasions. They had ME signed up to bowl the Pro-Am with some poor little bowlers who wanted to bowl with a real professional lady bowler. I got out of it barely by playing the single-mom card. You know, a lot of things suck about being a single momma, but you can really work it when you need it! Thank God, otherwise I would have had to stay out there at Gladstone Bowl till almost 8pm bowling and try not to get beat by the yahoos there and look like a no-talent fool.

I'm going to combine my knit blog and this blog. I'm tired of typing things twice.

Russell & Mark are going out Sat. night to Missy B's and then out on the town with Russell's grad school group. I can't go because I have to be supermom. My folks are home so I'd get "the look" if I went out and left my children with my cousin. SO, I needed some extra rest anyway, but Mark almost never gets out with Russell anymore and I WANNA GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE. I've been stuck at home a few weekends too many.

Bad Hair/Attitude Day

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."
--Charles Schultz

So, woke up with a not stellar attitude. Took a shower, decided my hair wasn't all that bad, but I wasn't going to do a damn thing to it other than brush it. Got out the KC Royals hat. The best thing about wearing a hat is you can totally be antisocial and no one notices. It's like an invisibility cloak, you dip your head ever so slightly, no eye contact. Just right for me today. Except for the candle incident. I can't start a lighter without burning my stupid thumb, and I can't strike a match the normal way. I've got to fold the book over backwards and pull the match out and it lights. I got ahold of a super match or something because the thing flared up and almost lit the brim of my hat on fire. Scared the crap out of me and I almost dropped the thing in my lap. That'll wake you up.

Got the new pretty bowling ball all ready to go. Hope it won't fall off my thumb. we'll see. I'm so poor this week, I'm going to have to make money at the tournament this weekend, extra incentive. School supplies, clothes, school fees, book fees, lunch fees, CHILD CARE fees...I'm getting tired of eating sandwiches from home. I know, I know "Smart Women Finish First" book says you need to resist temptation to spend a few dollars here and there so you don't live perpetually poor (as I do). I was very proud of myself for driving PAST the Subway next to the bowl pro shop today. BUT proud doesn't taste nearly as good as a stufft burrito from Taco Bell or a grilled chicken sandwich from Subway.

Jildo's Keyhole Scarf is DONE

"There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers."
--Robert Orben

Went to my son's mandatory preschool orientation meeting. TWO HOUR mandatory meeting, even though my son has gone to this preschool for the last 2 years. Got smart, brought along my keyhole scarf, knitted my little heart out...knit one pearl one knit one pearl one...and FINISHED IT! Woo hoo! Got to weave in the ends and it's on it's way to Jildo!

While I was knitting away, I kept feeling these two women staring at me. A lot of people glance at you when you're knitting in public, trying to figure just what in the hell you're doing, but these chics were STARING at me. They each came up after the meeting and one used to knit years ago and forgot how. The other is dying to learn. I told them we should start a little mom's group for when we're at these things.

I re-familiarized the old knitter with the basics again and felt like such the knitting goddess. I need to stick in an extra pair of needles and a hank of yarn to take out with me. Kind of scary, the knitting virgin teaching others... but it was fun too.

My little stash

"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."
--Rita Mae Brown

OK, we need more details here. My first scarf I knit was from the memorable women line from Schaefer Yarns. I used Helen Keller and it turned out SO cute and colorful. I've lived my life wearing black, black, black, white, white, white and khaki, khaki, khaki. I've decided to bring some color into my life. I was so proud of it and loved it so that I wore it all winter, spring and even pulled it out this summer a few times.

Jildo's scarf is also from the memorable women line of Schaefer Yarns, in Margaret Sanger. Her story is pretty cool, in 1916, she opened the first birth control clinic. After being arrested many times, she ended up the first president for Planned Parenthood International. I was so inspired that even in the early 1900's this woman was brave enough to speak out and act out for helping women control their own lives. I also love the vibrant colors and the bumpy texture. I'll make my daughter's winter scarf from this as well once I take a break and finish my felted party purse.


My son doesn't like being left out as most of the knitting patterns I've found so far are "too girly" for my tough 4 1/2 yr old little man. One of the older ladies hanging out at the Olathe shop suggested another Schaefer Yarn that looks like camouflage when knitted up, so that will be Joey's scarf this winter. He's all excited.

My felted party purse is being knitted with 2 strands of Noro Kureyon color yarn. It's GORGEOUS. I can't wait to make a hat & scarf from it for me.

Knitted Bikini?? Are you kidding me??

You're not fat, you're in the wrong country."
--Denise Walker

OK, the only knitters I've met in KC are either older, a touch chubby, or men. Probably the combination of being the fattest city in America, bar-b-que, and sitting on our butts knitting and watching tv. Looking at magazines, books and all over the internet I keep seeing these knitted bikini patterns. I started thinking, just who the hell is skinny enough to wear one of those?? Are these chubby women (like me) getting a little too "knitters gone wild" and wearing these in public? Then I remembered the whole NYC area has all the trendy little knitting chics. I hate skinny, cute chics. Wish I was one, but they still just piss me off.

Nope, no bikini's are on the list of my knitting projects.

Scary Big Hair Days

AAAAhhhhhh, the days when hair spray was hair spray. That old bottle of Vavoom used to be a weapon when the old boyfriend was trying to break into the sorority house, as well as aerosolized GLUE. Good old, making a hole in the ozone hairspray. Miss those days. Monica and I got big haired, went skiing through 2 snow storms and STILL had big hair out at the clubs at the bottom of the mountain. Here's a pic I ran across and it made me all nostalgic.

Man, I miss the days of the big hair and slender thighs...we'd get half-done to go play cards at the afternoon bar, then home for big hair and out to the clubs.

Lisa, Lampy (creator of the biggest hair imaginable), Jildo, me, Monica heading out to Bruff's:

I'm a little Knittin Kittin

"Never keep up with the Jonses. Drag them down to your level."
--Quentin Crisp (1908-1999)

Beth's first day of 2nd grade was today. She went for the 1/2 day and is spending the afternoon resting with Grandma in her 6th grade classroom (they had early dismissal as well). She did great, but looked so tired!

Well, one good thing came out of the "weekend of the head injury." I was smart enough to grab a blanket & stuffed animal for Beth (it was FREAKING cold in the sad little er room we were stuck in), a water bottle & my KNITTING. Almost forgot it, as I was running out the door, grabbed a few things and must have instinctively grabbed the bag. SO, spending 5 1/2 hours in a smelly little er room with no tv NEXT to the bathroom where you got to listen to people throw up and one old guy that pooped on the floor and laughed about it, was MUCH more pleasant with Jildo's scarf along. I added about 6 inches to the thing and now can't find the book to see how long it's supposed to be. I'm making the keyhole scarf in the Stitch N Bitch book, but with different funky yarn. Pic's are below in a previous post. I think I only have about 2 or 3 more inches to go and I'm DONE!

I'm moving on up to the next level of stitchery, don't have a CLUE what I'm doing, but I'm gonna start and every time I get stuck, go in to the little knit shop in Olathe and find a nice old lady to show me what to do next. Their customers just hang out in the back corner stitching away the day. That's how I learned to stitch in the round. The cool, trendy, BIG knitting shop in Overland Park is gorgeous, but there's no one there to HELP. They can all help you make a scarf, but I'm in scarf limbo. Gotta get out....Here's my next project. I figure the not-eating-at-night-cause-I'm-knitting diet thing will allow me to look all hot in this one:


I'm motivating myself to get Jildo's scarf DONE before I go get yarn for the new project.

Family Pictures

OK, I'm VERY slowly finding and scanning photos of our little family. Here's one of the three of us at the Cystic Fibrosis 2004 walk.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."
--Fran Lebowitz

That's why God invented Blogs. Ok, HE didn't invent them, but where else could we all record a history of our mundane lives and get addicted to following along with others' boring life stories also?

SO, spent most of last night out at 90th St. and Parallel Parkway in good old KCK. Nope, wasn't pulling in $$ by hooking, my daughter was on her first "big girl" sleep-over party out at the Great Wolf Lodge with her best friend Imory and her mom. They went out about 3pm and at 7pm, Beth was walking along next to one of the indoor pools and slipped and fell straight back on her head. I guess the life guard saw it happen and was immediately keeping her still and applying ice and all that. She said she thought she felt ok, they went back to the hotel room and she couldn't see and started violently throwing up. Her mom called me and she said she had the nurse on staff check her out and Beth needed to get to the hospital. SO, shortened version is I made it across town and through construction and was from my door to the ER at Providence in 13 minutes. I don't think that is humanly possible, but it was amazing. I was careful, not to worry, but I hauled serious ass and the big guy (or more likely his momma Mary as she was always the concerned mom) up in heaven got all the old people and idiots out of my way and I was able to fly. SO, turns out the poor little thing had a pretty serious concussion. They did a cat scan of her head and she had very minimal swelling, and after a couple of hours she could focus her eyes again. She knew where she was, and who she was, but other than that the little thing was so pale and had these big black shadows all over her face. It was freaky. She ended up having to get shots in both legs (at the same time) to stop the barfing. After that, she was pretty much ok and passed all their neurological tests and we went on home. The trip home was much more careful and it took 42 min's. For the next couple of days she just has to lie around and rest.

Mom offered to take her after the early dismissal on Monday to save my ass at work. I can't imagine telling them I'm taking part of another Monday off. They'd think I was the smart one and interviewing. NOPE, I've just got kiddos that are having a rough time lately. I don't have the energy to start looking. I'd love to have a great job offer, but then I'd probably have to work a lot harder. I kind of like being left alone. I love that I'm not micro-managed. Pretty much I just have to do my job, check in once a week and keep out of the line of fire. I hate the crazy people, the evil attitude that permeates the very recycled basement air we breathe and the LOW pay (even though the owners keep telling me how generous they are--I just don't think they realize that in this century, educated analysts in KC area are paid $40-75K. $40 being WAY above me right now.) I shouldn't be surprised, but still I'm kind of disappointed. I mean, one of our owners uses a printer that takes 8 hours (i kid you not EIGHT hours) to print off her weekly reports we send down rather than spend $50 for a new one that would zip them out in minutes. I guess the standard of using things until they don't work any more has served them well, I mean they vacation all the freaking time in Australia, the Bahamas, fly whenever and where-ever in style, so the poor little single-mamma should learn something from them, but I STILL need more money to survive much longer. Heck, I throw away a pot when it looks a little too crusty to get clean. (that's when I actually USE a pot for something that resembles cooking I guess)

Guess I'll have to pull my head out of my butt and start working on the resume and crap. Maybe later.

Will this day ever end?????

"I tried a dessert called 'Death by Chocolate' but it only made me stronger."
--from a Hallmark card I got in the mail

Man, it's still cool to get a letter in the mail. Heard from an old friend from way back in my dating-the-first-hubby days. She also is divorced from the butt-head she married (actually her butt-head ex was best friends with my butt-head ex.) We should have looked out for each other better. Actually the problem was we'd all go out together and she & I'd have fun and the butts would have fun, we didn't realize what a pain the guys were until we each moved away and we were stuck with them by ourselves. Ah well, I wouldn't have the munchkins and she wouldn't have her little one either, so we're all better, stronger women now I guess.

I'm here all alone....just me and the bitter ones. Everyone slightly normal is out on vacation, sick, or moved to TX. I think I'll hide quietly, maybe no one will notice I'm here. Cleaned off my desk, I actually saw the fake wood plank again, woo hoo what excitement down in the basement.

I'm taking the Joe-man out mini golfing at Incred-A-Bowl. Then, my cousin's coming over and it's off to the boats. I'm gonna take me some money from the old guys. :) Please, please, please let time move forward................

Nellies gone wild

Forgot to say Russell had the time of his life at the Barbie Convention in Chicago. OMG I guess the special convention entertainment on the last night was a trip. Bob Mackie is the guy who designs amazingly beautiful and EXPENSIVE collector barbies. He also does a lot of celebrities. He came out for a few minutes and spoke and then introduced two of his real-life models.

Dionne Warwick came out and sang a song, and the crowd went wild. You have to realize these people are seriously possessed women and very nelly gay men who spend all their money and all their energy finding, dressing, trading, etc. these barbies. It's like a cult. Addicting even for me and I have a few barbie accessories is all.

SO after the crowd went wild, and things went on, CHER came out and sang the Jack song from Will & Grace.... "If I could turn back time...." and Russell & Mark's table was right up by the stage. I guess she came striding down the stairs, put her arm on Russell's shoulder and sang into his face. Mark was doing his Cher impression, Russell was trying to breathe, and nellies were screaming and fainting to put the 60's fans of Elvis to shame. I would have paid any amount of money to see that. God, I am laughing just thinking about it. What a rush, I was so excited for Russell. It's even better than the Jack episode where he tells the real Cher to keep working on her impression...."If I could turn back time..."

Friday the 13th

"If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
--Bobby Slayton

Well, the mysterios rash of Friday and Monday sicknesses goes on. Wonder who's interviewing today? Even the newest new girl was sick yesterday. The last 2 newbies we had who were "sick" in their first week were working on lining up better jobs. Hmmmm. Well, this new one seems to be pretty good at her job and not so LOUD and GRABBY as the last one. Two of our regulars are out today. What sucks is I was out last Monday sick because Beth really WAS sick, no playing hookey even! Burned another day of vacation that I'm gonna miss come Christmas-time.

It's FRIDAY!!!! Thank God and all that. It's been a long-ass week and I'm ready to get out and not have any obligations for a while. Beth's off to the Great Wolf Lodge for a sleep-over bday party with her friend Imory and her mom. Should be fun. Totally forgot to get a PRESENT as it's a BIRTHDAY, so got to do that before I get her dropped off at her friend's house this afternoon. You know, it's a sad sad thing when you're looking around your house at 1am trying to think, could this be a present for a little girl???

I used to be so organized, I was super-mom. Of course, I wasn't working full-time back then. I had this amazing idea of the "present box". Whenever the kids got a present they already had, or I saw a great sale at Target I'd stock up on stuff and put it in "the box." Then, whenever we had a last-minute gift need, I'd go to the box, pull some lovely wrapping paper out and be ready in an instant. The last bday party we went to we ran by Osco to their NOT very cool toy aisle and the gift ended up wrapped in "kraft paper" (ok a paper bag turned inside out) that the kids colored on the way to the party. Beth colored a card (copy paper folded up) and Joey "decorated" the package. Amidst all the lovely bags with cascading ribbons, shiny papers, stickers, etc. was our sad little package. One of the moms next to me told her friend, "I wish I had the time and energy to have my children be so creative" when the little girl opened our gift. I thought, lady, 3 1/2 minutes will inspire creativity you would not believe, but just smiled and looked like one of those moms who make cookies from scratch, bake our own soap and the like. Man, I'm lucky if my kids even get bathed every day. I'm guilty of the smell test when things are really rushed. If I can't smell you from across the room, we'll just use a washcloth for the dirty face and knees and wet down your hair, you're good to go. Good thing I only had 2 of them, how did Grandma do it with 14 kids????? Man, Grandpa would have had to find another freaking room to sleep in if it were me.

Also, Damn Damn Damn the Little Debbie company for making nutty bars. damn damn damn. Ate 3 packages last night, that means 6 nutty bars. Good thing I had a kid to give one to or I would've eaten the whole box. So much for master of my domain, the domain crumbled like crunchy peanut buttery chocolate covered cookies....

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

"You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap."
--Dolly Parton

High Points of the day:

#1 --> saw a guy PEE outdoors this morning, that'll wake you up. Running late, I thought I'd head to Santa Fe exit to bypass all the congestion on 119th, then got stuck waiting for a train. Sat there, be-bopping to the kids' Shrek 2 cd (yes, I'm a geek, can't help it) and watched a guy 2 cars back of me get out, walk to the trees and whip it out to pee. I'm looking around, and no one else notices the guy. I thought I was hallucinating, but then figured if I was, he'd be better equipped.

#2 --> the roly polies are all scared of the mighty bug-squishing woman, haven't seen any so far.

#3 --> I'm all officially registered for my ladies classic professional bowling tournament the weekend of Aug. 20th out in Gladstone, MO! Woo Hoo, now I've got to get BUSY practicing and get the new balls drilled & worked out. My little workout sessions have actually paid off here. Not only can I now wear the skirts I used to bowl in, but also have all this stamina and energy and am not worn out after 4 games. I've got 9 games qualifying on Sat. Last year I was in the money until about the 6th game, got tired and TANKED. This year I'm out for blood, baby. (I SAID I was a geek, ok?)

#4 --> I'm not this guy. I guess losing 20 pounds is a lot easier than 800 pounds. How sad is that that AFTER losing 321 pounds, you still can't turn over in bed by yourself??? How sad is it that now I'm hungry for a bag of oreos?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/08/11/half.ton.man.ap/index.html

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

"I'm so much hipper in my mind than in reality"
--from my new Simply She Journal

You know what's sad? The day you realize your children have better social lives than you do and they're 7 and 4.

Cousin Kevin's emails from Iraq

My cousin Kevin is over in Iraq working for his company doing computer crap. He said I could post his emails for us to follow along with his adventures. Here's the link:
http://kevininiraq.blogspot.com/

I'll add Kevin's pics tonight. They're pretty cool too. I'm waiting on his first few emails he sent to add also. There's one with him and some nfl cheerleader that was going overseas to cheer up the troops.

Later Monday

"It is better to be a bad original than a good copy."
--The Marquise du Defand

Got the scanner to work, but the software to crop and make things all pretty SUCKS and it won't work....here's the pic's of my not-quite-ready-to-felt party purse to be: for other knitting virgins like me, it will be soft and fuzzy and look totally different when it's felted, can't wait!


Here's the scarf for Jildo. I'm almost done and so excited. It really looks better in person than on my scanner, so don't be worried Jildo!


I'm so addicted to this knitting thing. It seems I'm also what's known as a knitting snob as I am obsessed with petting all the pretty fibers in the knitting shop. I'm like a junkie, good thing I'm POOR! Oh well, until I finish these projects and the other scarves I've got started for the kids I can't add to the stash. MAN I can't wait until I can make sweaters, there are so many cute designs I'm dying to try!

Sad thing that the highlight of the day at work was my triumph over the roly polies. Another one bites the dust at work. One of the pretty good admin ladies put in her 2 DAY notice today. That area was the one we just lost the newest hire, things are gonna get stressful around there, but I'm staying OUT of it. The few good people are looking (and finding) better paying jobs elsewhere with people that are not evil, bitter, soul-sucking employees to work with. I mean, where else can I work that I get in trouble for putting the roll of toilet paper on backwards???? That's pretty unique. Sad, but true.

Monday, August 9, 2004

"The executioner is, I hear, very expert, and my neck is very slender."
--Anne Boleyn (1507-1536)

Just squished my 12th roly poly of the day. I feel like a bug serial killer. This basement office is over-run with the little critters. Just glad it's not anything bigger & slimier.

Sunday, August 8, 2004

"Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch."
--David A. Schmaltz

OK, gotta create a family-friendly blog for the grandma's and Aunt Angie and such. Poor Aunt Angie. My little bro Will and Raegen came by for a quick visit before he got back on the plane for Florida. He HAD to bring up the "boys town" part of Chicago. Will doesn't stop there, once she realized it wasn't the nice organization you donate $$ to for underpriviledged kids, no, he started naming names of the bars....the man hole, the back door, etc. I thought Angie was going to die. You gotta give the lady credit, she turned awfully pale, but didn't say a word and just smiled weakly until it was over.

Raegen and a few of her girlfriends want to go to Missy B's for the drag show, so RUSSELL, get it together and organize a trip down there soon!!!

Went to Hallmark, OMG I've gotta get that barbie shoe tree thing for Xmas....It's like $20 and it's just ME ME ME. Put it on the list for Santa. I've been pretty good this year, still have a lot of time to kiss ass yet. Can't wait to see pic's of Russell's time at the Barbie convention. Wonder if Mark made it through without screaming and ripping heads off a few dolls???

Knitting update: Went to TOWN this weekend on the keyhole scarf (yes, another freaking scarf) for my friend Jildo. Jildo had an unfortunate accident with a long scarf that got caught and ended up thrown to the ground, scraping her little nose, so I'm making the chic a little scarf that won't go anywhere it's not supposed to. Pics coming soon, the server for photobucket is not behaving).

KNITTING finally

All right, I started this blog as a record of my knitting adventures as well as to record thoughts on the crazies I work with and the strange men I date and my friends and such.

Completed my 3rd scarf, ready to move to bigger and better things. I made the scarf on the left out of this FABULOUS yarn from Schaefer Yarns. It's so colorful, bumpy and soft! I love it. I made the one on the left and it's too cool. I'm now working on one in colors that resemble camouflage for Joey and one in BRIGHT pinks, purples and such for Beth for this winter.


I've decided I now LOVE knitting in the round. I'm such a knitting virgin, branching out seems almost sinful. I've got the tube knitted on this little party-purse but I'm not doing any fluff or extra stuff. I'm using a Noro Japanese yarn that is gorgeous in muted earthy rainbow colors and going to felt it. I've now got to learn how to do the handles and I'm almost ready for washing. Can't wait.


I'll add my own pic's once I get the new digital camera and get the finished product out. OMG I'm now addicted and have all these sweater patterns I can't wait to try. I can decrease, can't figure out the increase thing yet, use my Stitch N Bitch book for pretty good directions, but need HELP! Our new knitting shop has an amazing supply, great stitching room, but NO help. Most of the employees don't teach anything other than plain old knit & pearl stitches. The old shop in town is tiny, crammed with goodies, and has pretty helpful customers that come in to stitch, so I'll probably head over there to see if some nice lady can help a sista out.

This guy's knitting blog cracks me up! It's inspiring to see the finished products all these people can come up with. Makes me hope I'll be doing more than scarves, scarves, scarves...
http://queerjoe.blogspot.com/

Saturday, August 7, 2004

"If your horse dies, get off."
--anonymous

I don't know why I like that quote, I just does. Had "the talk" with the Italian man and he took it pretty well. Ate VERY good lasagne and fettucini (how do you spell that?) at Casconies, to die for. Made an absolute piggy of myself. We decided to be good friends that got together once in a LONG while, went out dancing, had a pretty good night. Maybe I should write a book on how to break up with someone and get them to think it's their idea. I am truly gifted, probably because I've dated entirely too many people in my long long life.

Went to Home Depot for the kids craft this am. Very cool, made periscopes that actually work. Beth is really gifted with the hammer, I hardly had to help at all this time. Joey is absolutely dangerous and thinks he's ready for power tools, a perfect little tool-man. I crack up because they have these little home depot orange aprons with pockets and Joey fills his up with nails and was almost grunting this morning. I'm gonna have to find those old "tool time" shows with Tim the Tool Man Taylor for him. I'm going to do some "ladies" classes and learn "power tools 101" and get the girls to go along. You get to build cool crap like a potting bench, table, and other perfectly not-useful things made out of 2X4's. They're called do-it-herself clinics.
http://www.homedepotclinics.com/

Sassy Journal

Ok, I love love love my little journal/notes-to-go book! I got it at Borders and LOVE IT! It's got cool pages that tear out with little funny sayings along the edge. The one I used today said "You're not bitter, you're cynically hopeful." Another fave of mine is "You're not alone. I don't like your boyfriend either."

http://www.areyoumyboyfriend.com/SimplySheProducts.html

Why can't I come up with crap like this? I've got the bad attitude, the over-abundance of sassiness, a little creativity (ok a lot more with some chocolate martini's, but still). Yup, I'm gonna have a drink/creative session with Russell and we're coming up with our own line of journals, note cards and the like. Something with a combo of his old-fashioned barbie style and my attitude...could be good. If not, at least we'll have good drinks.

Friday, August 6, 2004

"It is easier to stay out than to get out."
--Mark Twain

Isn't that the danm truth? Well, I'm going out to dinner with the Italian Stallion tonight, and it's probably going to be one of those uncomfortable ready-to-run-any-minute kind of things. I went into this with the standard..."I'm not wanting a relationship, I just want to go out once in a while and have some fun..." crap and that didn't work. He called 4 times last night FOUR TIMES. Then on each message he apologized for bothering me, but he missed me, then he apologized for missing me....OH MY GOD. No, I didn't answer the phone last night because Italian man was bothering me and old-guy-Kenny called twice as well also to apologize for bothering me at Quick Trip and let me know he's going to leave me alone since he cares so.

PLUS I forgot to write that as I stopped off for my daily diet coke fix at the old Quick Trip last week, I pulled up to the curb, got out and OUT jumped old-guy Kenny! My old sugar-daddy-wanna-be. He had a diet coke and the newspaper for me. I got back in the truck, locked the door and thanked him sweetly, asked him to remember that if he cared about me as he said, he'd consider me out of his life and will concentrate on his WIFE. I drove off, poured out the diet coke and went to Sonic for two big-ass breakfast burritos. mmmmmm.. I'm hungry now, think they'd notice if I snuck out for a burrito? bacon....mmmm... damn 3 more hours till lunch.

In one of my myriad quote books, I stumbled on a cute list of how to know "he" is not the "Mr. Right":
--He spends more time talking to his mother than to you
--You hesitate when his name comes up on caller id (or like me you yell at the phone and push the ignore button)
--You've never pictured him without his clothes on (ok any old guys I've dated fall in here)
--You wear your comfy cotton undies instead of a new lacy thong
--You don't shave your legs right before the date

SO, fun weekend planned, probably breaking it off with Italian man (why should I have to break up when there wasn't supposed to be a relationship ANYWAY???) playdates for the kids, bday parties for my friend's daughter and we're GOIN' TO THE FAIR!!! OK, I actually LOVE the fair, my kids are like "whatever, Mom" about it. :)

Woo hoo what a wild life I lead. At least I get to wander around looking at cows & sheep & smelling funnel cakes & cotton candy. (I'm still master of my domain even though Marvin brought a TON of doughnuts yesterday to work.) FIT into one of my old skirts again, so maybe this eating vegetables, fruit, meat and other non-processed food and exercising crap really works.....still miss funnel cakes....mmmmm.

Chicago Pictures are Here!!

Check out the cute chics in Chicago!!! Man, that was too much fun. Ok, I warn you, I traveled with 3 Asian girls, so we took a LOT of freaking pictures and they're all posed. My total fave is here, hot policeman, yummy... DAMN I forgot how pretty he was.



Here we are at the train station ready for dim sum for breakfast. The picky eating white girl was actually putting away some serious eggrolls and pickled cucumbers at 9 in the morning. Probably why all those asian girls are so damn thin!


Here's the real hotties, I had so much fun on this trip!!! We ate ate ate and shopped shopped shopped and danced with stinky men, what else could you ask for?


Here's the whole batch of pictures...
http://photobucket.com/albums/v256/TreasureGoddess/Chicago%202004/

Weekend Update

"Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?"
--Carrie Snow

Friday I worked ALL day as usual, but mom & dad took the little munchkins out to my grandparents in western KS for me! NO KIDS woo hoo and all that! Got my sessy toes redone, and now the Korean women love me AGAIN! They were giving me that smiling through gritted teeth while they cussed me out thing at first and I smiled and said "toes please?" I said "everywhere I go men love my toes, thank you so much" and I was in like Flynn. Back to real smiles, GOOD lookin flowers, and not only did they charge me the rate for regular ped and I got all the extras of the spa ped, but I also didn't get charged for the sessy flowers! Man, I've got to get a life that that was about the highlight of the day.

Went to the boat and played a little Texas Hold-em. Flirted with a cutie next to me, remembered I wasn't picking up any more men at a gambling institution, let the fact that I'm a single mom and not interested in dating anyone from the poker room come up in conversation to scare him off...THEN learned he's a freaking ATTORNEY at a downtown KC lawfirm and apparently one of the partners as his jr. lawyer guy was out playing also....Damn. He was pretty too.... Did make about $300, big bucks for me, didn't get home till 4am.....I'm too old for that crap.

Sat & Sun--had a BLAST with the fam. My little girl Elizabeth was born 12 hrs after one of my cousins had a little girl named Elizabeth 7 years ago. They both have red hair, blue eyes and look almost like twins. Freaky. They got to play together and it was a crackup to see them running around and bugging their little brothers.

Caught up with my cousin Roger (very cute--trying to convince him to come to KC to go out w/ my friends to flirt w/him a little). We've decided we're tied on the worst dating stories.

My story--most of you already know, dating the "perfect" old guy, he went away when I wanted him to, didn't call every night, sent AMAZING flower arrangements, took me to the nicest restaurants & clubs, bought me jewelry, etc. a very good potential sugar daddy, until I answered the cell phone one night. The girl asked for me and I said, that's me, she said her name (same last name as the old guy) and I said, "what can I do for you" thinking it was his daughter, she said "STOP DATING MY HUSBAND." yup, that one sucked.

Roger's story--he was being set up with the "perfect girl for you" and started emailing back and forth.....only to realize later that they were actually 2nd cousins or something. The mutual friends they had all thought they were just perfect for each other and they were starting to get to know each other, when for some reason Roger's distinctive last name came up and she realized it sounded familiar. Turned out her grandpa and our grandpa were brothers. icky.

One of our cousins is a priest and had the best story of all. He was going through the meetings with the married couples right before they get married and he got a phone call from this lady about the couple, that they couldn't get married. Turned out they were BROTHER AND SISTER. The call was from their mom, who had given them both up for adoption and kept track of where they went in life when she realized they were about to GET MARRIED. I didn't ask if they were good catholics and didn't have sex yet or not, ICK...can you imagine????? I thought it was one of those urban legends, but apparently it was true.