Excuse me, but could you spare a pair? Yarn School, Commando Style

So, being the utterly anal knitter that I am, I was all packed for Yarn School an entire week before I left. I was so prepared it wasn't even funny. I had my no-thinking knitting project (square number 2 from my itty bitty sockyarn blanket) for knitting while talking, I had my moderate thinking knitting project in a nice pair of 3x1 ribbed socks. I had an intricate thinking knitting project in case I totally didn't get spinning and had to find something to get lost in (never made it out of the bag). I had shorts for if it was hot, a sweater and FOUR pair of wool socks in case it got cold (it really didn't). I had magazines, books, yarn for selling at the yarn shop & swap. I had my camera, battery charger, snacks in case I didn't like the food (I really REALLY did) and even brought a bunch of extra bags for the extra goodies I'd be bringing home.

The only thing I forgot? I realized it at about 12:30am the first night. UNDERWEAR. Yes, I had NO underwear. Cripes almighty. Now that might be a cute, funny thing if the pair I was wearing was even slightly hang-in-public-worthy. Nope. Blue, so old and worn that the elastic was hanging out in bits and there were HOLES and quite possibly the ugliest pair of granny panties I've ever owned. Rags in my house are in better shape. Nice start, huh?

SO, not sure how to ask an almost total stranger if I could bum a pair of panties, and Harveville possessing only one shop that sold 3.2 beer but no undies (I checked, you never can tell what you'll find in a small town stop2shop), I was left with two alternatives... learn to spin while going commando or wash the undies and find a discrete spot to hang them dry. Yeah, I was freaked out enough about being able to spin without just falling over (which almost happened at one point) that the idea of doing that in a more natural state? Not gonna happen. SO, there I am at 1am, washing my ugly undies in the sink with shampoo. I even dropped them on the floor once when someone came in for a night-time trip to the commode and surprised me. After rewashing and wringing them out, I went wandering around the elementary school looking for a place to hang the ugly undies to dry. You'd think there'd be more places, wouldn't you? I finally found a side door handle that was hidden behind a ping pong table. As I'm leaning waaaaaay over to hang them up, I look up and see two ladies looking at me like WTF is she doing? So I lean in an even stranger angle and say, "pretty sky tonight, huh?" and run back to my room. Next morning the undies are still a bit damp, but packing a hair dryer (SEE how well I packed?) I quickly took care of business.

So, Friday and Saturday night let's just say "rinse and repeat." Sure I could have driven myself to Topeka to find a wal-mart, but that would be losing precious fiber creating time. No freaking way.

After hearing the story and laughing her ass off, Teri told me she would have driven me out some underwear. Man, that's the sign of a good friend. I'd drive you underwear too!

ALL photos were taken with me WEARING my undies. No worries.

My very first ball of yarn. Made from a gorgeous corriedale dyed by the amazing Adrienne from Hello Yarn. Is it wrong to want to buy even more fiber when I have no spinning wheel?


Closeup of my alpaca yarn that I still haven't put away. It's sitting by my bed. Waiting patiently to become something amazingly soft to wear around my neck. Maybe a cowl?


My before and after pics of the thick/thin singles I spun to create a big ass felted bag. Wish me luck.



And finally some of the most beautiful yarn I own. I dyed some heavenly cormo wool gifted to me from Chery, who is also the one that encouraged me to learn to spin! I'm so very pleased at the depth of colors of the red oranges and rust oranges and ooooooohhhhhhh I have to pick a really good project for this stuff!


Oh, and I didn't just dye pretty stuff, oh no! Nearing the end of the extra dye session, it was about 215 degrees in the science lab, roasters were roasting. Crockpots were crockpotting, women were SWEATING. I was getting hot and cranky. Instead of using the dyes I'd mixed to make four sets of fibers of each of my favorite colors, I decided FUXX IT I'll just put them all together in one big batch. Yeah. It would've been cool if I'd dyed it so that there were long bits of each color, but I was in FUXX IT mode, so dumped it all in. SO, whenever I get a wheel and get ready to spin, I'll be spinning a whole lot of short bits of colors. Each color is lovely individually. Together they make my eyelids twitch.

Dear Santa, I have been a very good girl all year (mostly). Can I please have a spinning wheel under my tree?

In a nutshell, Yarn School Rocks. Unbelievably.

Bunnies, Goats and Alpacas, Oh My!

I've got fiber from some of the angora bunnies to spin later, a purse made from Chewbacca the goat's fibers and made my first yarn from two of the alpacas there. Yes, made my own freaking yarn. And it's heavenly. Absofuxxinglutley heavenly. (See Santa? no cursing! well, mostly) It will soon become a scarf that I may or may not ever take off.



Before.......



After......(the big fluffy orange fiber amazingness is MINE, it's the one that looked a lot like poo in the crock pot)








I've still got 8 plastic wrapped beauties on my back porch that need rinsing and hanging out. Another dear yarn schooler is bringing even MORE of my fiber/yarn home that was too hot to take after the extra dye session. The yarn hanging with the shoes is a buttload of wool I spun in fat/thin singles to dye up to make one of my funky spiraling purses. It'll be neat to see how they turn out, if what I pictured in my head will become the project I intend.

The food? Fabulous. Absolutely fresh, healthy, yummy, unbelievable. The company? Also fabulous I learned so much from EVERYONE. I was actually so in awe of the whole spinning phenomenon that I hardly talked. Yes, me. I was walking around the corner when all the dyed fiber was hanging on the line. I overheard the following....

"who dyed the orange one?"
"Christine"
"who's Christine again?"
"the quiet one. from KC"
"Oh, yeah! Christine!"

Yeah. Probably the only time in my life that description would work.

I really, really, really, REALLY need a spinning wheel now. Really.

Yarn School. Just Do it.

Oh, and I totally have a fiber stash now. A pretty significant start on a fiber stash thanks to Yarn School! Another stash habit is born.

Yarn Harlot! Bee Barf! And YARN SCHOOL!

I've got no pretty knitting pictures. I suck. I also have knit and frogged and knit again so much knitting since I last posted. Again, I suck.

Anyway, The Yarn Harlot is coming to KC and I get to go! WOO HOO! I missed her Wichita, KS appearance a while back and great shopping and pizza and roadtripping with knitters. Man, it doesn't get any better than that. OK, if there were beer, then THAT would be the ultimate day. (Not while on the road trip, I may knit while I drive, but I don't drink while driving.)

Call Rainy Day Books at 913-384-3126. You get a book and two tickets for $16.99 or something like that. Quite a deal. Yarn Harlot will be speaking at the Unity Temple in KC, MO on Monday, Oct 13th at 7pm. And I'm gonna be there. How cool is that? Unbelievably.

OK, the beautiful yellow silky wool ribbed sweater? The one I knit and knit and frogged and frogged and knit more, then frogged more then knit away yet again? After completing the body and one sleeve I tried it on. Yes, I actually DID try this on in progress a few times. It fit. It fit perfectly. I got gauge. It was just the way it was supposed to be, but I forgot the cardinal sin of the sweater knitter. Pick out a sytle that actually looks good on you. I forgot what I looked like. I somehow saw myself as the cute models in the picture, not as the flat chested, slightly hippy woman that I am. I'm happy with how I look, I look fabulous in many styles of sweaters. This was not one of them. It was so horrid that I couldn't even take a picture. I took it off, set up my "yarn baller" as my husband calls it, and immediately turned it back into yarn.

The only thing I could think as I stood there looking in the mirror at this perfectly lovely sweater that looked perfectly horrid on me was "Bee Barf." It looked like 28,361 bees barfed up pollen bits all over me. But mostly in a drawing-the-eye-to-the-widest-part-of-the-hips way of pollen barfing. Horrid. Knitted Bee Barf.

What else? Oh I made the migraine blanket bigger and it's already getting lots of use from various children. How do they pick the funkiest, wildest blankets out of all that we have in the house? Ah well. It makes me happy that a bunch of scraps turned into something warm and used.

Also knit half a hat, frogged it and knit again on larger needles making adjustments as I go now and it's making up a lovely hat now. I am using a kit bought from Maggie's Farm I got at the Knitting in the Heartland vendor market last spring. It's called "Barn chore hat" or something like that. Pretty yarn, but the hand spun natural and the colored part were such different gauges that I needed to frog back and change stitch numbers. It's working up well now and has the softest alpaca knit up to fold under for a lining for the ears. It's supposed to be for Jeff, but I have a feeling I'll be wearing this one a lot this winter. Goal to self: WEAR HATS this winter. A knitter should wear hats. Even if she/he looks stupid in them. Guy knitters are so lucky. They always look good in knit hats.

I've also cast on for Elizabeth Zimmerman's Longies, from the September month of Knitters Alamanac, my favorite book of all time. I should be doing this two at one time on circs, that would make so much more sense and ensure that both legs actually match, but I just can't seem to do it that way. It irks me. I don't know why. I'm working away on two sets of dpns a little at a time back and forth. Cascade 220 in grey, or what I've knit half my wardrobe out of. So far, so good. That woman was a genius.

OH OH OH and the coundown to YARN SCHOOL has begun. TWO DAYS baby and I'm hitting the road. THURSDAY after work I'm heading to Harveyville, KS to Yarn School, where I get to learn to spin, SHOP for fiber and yarn, dye fiber and yarn, eat yummy healthy food and hang out with other yarnies just as crazy as I am! Nothing makes for a better day than hanging out with others just as fiber crazy as you are! I've been packed for a week now. Just keep changing what yarn I'm bringing along.

I promise to take lots of pics and try to remember what I learn. There's still a few last minute spots open, click away and come with me! I'd even drive (but I may or may not knit on the long, straight non-traffic filled highways, so take your chances.)

And the last bit of family news is that the beautiful camper is gone. My valentine's day present camper. The camper that had a TOILET in it plus screened windows, kitchen and slide out area so you could actually hang out indoors while in the outdoors? My way to handle the family camping trips? Yeah. We sold it. Damn. Damn, Damn, Damn. We were offered three times what we paid for it. And found a wonderful speed boat. A good boat, great shape, big hull which means nice traveling instead of beating us to a pulp like the speed boat we borrowed last summer. An open front, so the kids can all hang out all over the thing. Our family will get much use from it and we'll all enjoy it but it still sucks. Now when we go camping I'm back to bug level with no toilet. Freaking bugs. I should just cover myself in honey to better draw them to me to eat me. Anyway, I'm being a good mother, so we'll have much more days like this.....


Ah well, what do I care? I'm going to YARN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!

The prodigal sock returns!

OH how I missed you! That sock, the one on the right? With the extra thick brown stripes? He's come home to me! I have to admit that you really DO love the one that left even more than the one that was trusty, loyal and stayed in the sock drawer where he belonged. See those thick brown lines? I always liked the other one better as I thought those looked a bit like poo.

ANYWAY, last Friday was a nice cool, almost cold day. I broke out the wool socks. YEAH! Thought my wollemeise sockenwolle would be just the thing for the first wearing of the season. As we had a busy evening of lots of places to go, I also was lugging the big ass Migraine Blanket around in a tote bag. I had picked up another skein of Schaefer Elaine yarn at Knit Wit's a while back and thought I'd like to make the blanket big enough to actually USE. As we walked around an outdoor carnival, the sun came out. It got a bit warm. I'd have been ok, except the wool socks on my feet were bringing my heat level up to 10 degrees below bursting right into flames. Actual flames. That's why I knit so many alpaca and wool sleeveless sweaters. My body can't take the whole wool immersion thing unless it's seriously cold. Apparently 65 degrees isn't cold enough. Socks went into the bottom of the tote bag.



Through the night I yanked and stuffed that big ass blanket in and out of the tote bag. Yes, you guessed it, the next morning when I got home, only one pretty wollmeise sock was in the bottom of the bag. OH the horror. I don't mind losing a regular sock, but this one was knit on my honeymoon on a sailboat in the Sea of the Bahamas. It was WOLLMEISE for God's sake. Why couldn't I have lost an opal sock? Or a Lorna's Laces one? (not that I don't love both of those yarns, but seriously? WOLLMEISE?) Damn.

Well, let me just say that people look at you really REALLY strangely when you show up asking if their lost and found happens to have a sock that looks almost exactly like THIS ONE RIGHT HERE but with thicker brown stripes. Yes, next time I will absolutely use the phone. The school where my youngest step son goes is a bit, um, stuck up and pretentious and rich. And they just don't appreciate the gravity of good wool socks being lost out on their soccer field. But then, apparently neither do gas station attendants and snotty high school girls that work at volleyball arenas.

Jeff came back from getting his van detailed yesterday and Guess What!?! My little lost sock was stuck way up underneath one of the seats! YEAH! Now the happy pair are right where they belong. All is right with the world. Or at least with my sock drawer.

I think I'll change my name...

So, I originally named this blog the Knitting Virgin because I was so amazed that once you understood the one stitch, ONE STITCH of knitting (purl is the back side of knit, so to me it's different sides of the same thing), you could do ANYTHING. Manipulating yarn and sticks. Simplicity. Beauty. All that crap. Well, I have made a lot of amazing things, some very early on before I heard that beginners won't supposed to do anything but garter stitch scarves, and all that crap. If I found a pattern that had something in it I didn't know how to do, I'd either find a knitter to help or go on Knitting Help's Website or find a book and just do it. Anything was possible. I made some amazingly beautiful things. I made some amazingly horrid things. It was all creative, so I loved it.

Lately, I've found that I'm seriously screwing up even the most basic of items in quite spectacular ways. Ways that make my dear knitting friends shake their heads and ask me "What the HELL were you thinking?" "How did you POSSIBLY do that?" and otherwise just laugh. It's ok, I laugh too. I mean, how many knitters can make a strange appendage on a ciruclar shawl? You knit AROUND a circle in stockinette. KNITTING. No strange purling or anything funky. I don't know how I do it, but I just do it.

SO, this last weeked we had a serious road trip. A six hour each way road trip. You know the theory of three steps forward and one step back? Yeah. Well, at the beginning of the six hours for some UNGODLY reason, I decide to follow the part that says "FOR SIZE LARGE ONLY" and it's written in LARGE BOLD LETTERS on the pattern as well on the sweater front of Slinky Ribs by Wendy Barnard. She wrote it in bold loud type. I was not knitting size large. Ah well. So I then proceed to knit around 4 hours or so and am halfway through the ribbing charts and something's not quite right. Hmmmmmmm could it be that I added 2 inches on the BACK ONLY and it's seriously fuxxed up? Yup. Guess what I did on the trip back? REKNIT the damn thing and then some. Got home and then found that I'd dropped a stitch FOUR INCHES back. And it's on the front. So, knowing how to fix almost anything, I picked that stitch right back up to where it was supposed to be, only it stuck out like a bulletproof ridge. On the front. See? It actually looks worse than the picture.

So, more frogging. Now I'm actually on the last few rows of the body. Going to knit those damn sleeves, neck edging, buttons and wear it. I do love the sweater and the silky wool in its sunflowery color, but I think I've knit the entire thing at least 3 times now. Getting ready to get them the hell off the needles. That's my weekend goal. Get this off the damn needles!


My other goal? Not to have to change this blog from the Knitting Virgin to the Freaking Knitiot, although I'm sure some already has that name.

Frogging is ever so much fun

Ok, so I actually don't mind frogging. I've knit entire sweaters and frogged them with no qualms. Frogging can be healing, inspiring, even fun. I've already frogged the pi shawl's with horrid edging. But the fun's not there in this one. This one just pisses me off. I should've known better. I saw the pictures, knew something wasn't working out right and kept on knitting. AGAIN. Just a few short months after the pi shawl incident. See those 12 rows of ribbing above the cables? Yes? They shouldn't be there. There should be cabling from the very start. damn damn damn. Well, all I can say is God Bless Ravelry and God Bless Ravelers! A very sweet raveler messaged me that she did the same thing it looks like I did, misread the pattern to think the first 12 rows of ribbing in the pattern meant an actual 12 rows of ribbing instead of the first 12 rows of the pattern as it really did. Damn. Thank God for her as this saved me from knitting cables and increasing and such through the yoke and THEN finding out something wasn't working right. A few evenings' work is much less to frog than a few week's worth.

I know it's hard to imagine, but I'm a diehard optimist. I ALWAYS see the good in things. It can be quite nauseating, actually. It's this little voice that tells me if I just hang in there and stay positive, things will work out. Things always work out, right? I think it comes from a love of disney movies. I still freaking cry at each cartoon. Yes, even stupid non-disney ones like Kung Fu Panda. I can't help it. Even though I'm looking right at something not quite right (like an appendage on a shawl that does not call for such a thing) I keep knitting. Just keep knitting, just keep knitting. Believing it will work out. It must be a "ta-da" moment at the end, right? Kind of like the magic of the EZ baby sweater. Ta Da! I am GOING to realize that most patterns are NOT baby surprise sweaters. If something doesn't look or feel quite right, it's probably NOT quite right. I'm going to take my patterns and my knitting to a knitting friend (it's not like I'm not surrounded by amazing knitters, you know) and ASK SOMEONE's ADVICE. That's my resolution. My August 25th resolution. My New Year's resolutions never stick. Maybe my Aug 25th one will.

So, tonight it's off to the ball winder, or yarn baller, as Jeff calls it, to unknit this beautiful cabled masterpiece. Thank God someone got to me before I got through the rest of the yoke and then had to frog the whole thing. Ah well. Live and Learn.

On a brighter point, my aunt from California is coming to town! She's the one that said she retired to become a "knitress." I love that. Of course, she now travels the world to knit and live life to the fullest. She's off to Italy for the SECOND TIME for a knitting class. MAN I've got to get myself retired soon. I'll be bringing my aunt Dot and my KC aunt out to MisKnits on Wed. night for their UFO Night. Come out and say howdy if you're in the area.

Can you spare a square? Or give me back my sockyarn?

OK, so I know it looks like the earlier pictures, but it's BIGGER now. It's now officially baby blanket sized. If I were a good aunt, I'd gift it to my niece-to-be so that the child can grow up chewing on fabulous wool sockyarn. But, I'm not giving this blanket up yet. It's a memory keeper of all the socks I've knit. When I go over it I can tell you what sockyarn each is, where I bought it, when I knit it, whom for, and usually a story of what was going on in my life at the time of the knitting. Of course I can't tell you where I put my keys and have lost my wallet IN MY HOUSE again. I've done that 4 times in the last 3 months. cripes almighty. Hey, I can't put gas in my truck, but I can tell you what yarn I used to knit Joey's sk8er boi socks. Yes, that's helpful in everyday life. Ah well. I have decided the baby girl to be needs a garter stitch blanket, and have one in progress. I've started on my 2nd square for this sockyarn bits blanket and hope to make 4 and seam them together with possibly some more blocks around the outside of the whole whopper once it's almost couch potato lounging sized.

Anyone catch the Elaine Spare a Square Seinfeld reference? Yes, bathroom humor at its finest. SO, a couple of weeks before the dancing incident, I was taking a creative knitting break. On super stressful days with monster deadlines hanging above my head I need a little help to calm down and tackle the work. I take a break. I knit. Stall knitting. Hey, we've not got a nice lobby or anything, and this whole working-full-time thing is seriously cramping my knitting time. Knitting is my prozac. You won't like me when I'm not knitting. You work with what you've got. If Bathroom Knitting a few rows keeps me from killing people, I think that's a small price to pay, don't you?

ANYWAY, I'm quietly sitting and knitting. The sockyarn ball had a little snag of a knot in it, when I gave a tug, it popped out of my bag and rolled over to the lady sitting next door. There's a little "uummmmmmmm, is this yours?" and the ball is handed back to me under the stall wall. I say "thanks." She says, "You're not crocheting in there, are you?" laughing nervously. I laugh back and say "of course not, I'm knitting." Laughter stops. Dead silence. Welcome to my world.

I've also been working on this and that when not knitting away on my sockyarn blanket and daughter's K State socks. Lady February Sweater in orange Cascade 220, the neck of Wisteria in cascade 220 heaters, from the Twist Collective, have you SEEN that site? Oh I am in love! Also bought the new book from Wendy Bernard, Custom Knits, which I had to call all the bookstores in town to find. The Barnes & Noble in Town Center in Leawood, KS had a few copies when I snuck out for a "quick break" and hauled ass across town to get my book! Cast on for Slinky Ribs last night with some sunflower yellowish silky wool from the stash. OH MAN I love this book. It's right up there with my love of Fitted Knits by Stefanie Japel.




Speaking of Stefanie Japel, you know a woman just can't have too many sleeveless wool sweaters. Right? Well, a fabulous YARN SALE at Knit Wit in Olathe, KS is now the reason I'm knitting matching sleeveless mock turtlenecks from Fitted Knits for my daughter and I. Scored some purple frog tree worsted wool at half price, HALF PRICE I SAID, and as soon as I can get some knitting done on these projects they will be the next to be cast on. Measured my daughter and think making the body skinnier will be easy, no real waist shaping needed, but will have to figure out how much to shorten her diagonal armpit to shoulder raglan seam.

Knit Wit has apparently lost her next door storage space, so is putting a LOT of yarn at half off. I saw Frog Tree, Nashua, cashmere, all kinds of goodies. Get out there and check it out if you have a chance. She's also got a ton of plastic tubs full of yarn for $3/skein as well.

I also felted up some bags. I made four of the little bitty ones that still need icord straps knitted and felted.




Happy weekend, happy shopping and happy knitting everyone!

At least I'm a graceful knitter

Have you ever leaned over the bathroom counter to the mirror to check your eye makeup, kicked your leg out behind you for balance, then thought Hey, that felt like a ballerina, pivoted around on your toe, doing a little kick swing thingy to get your spin just right, decided that By God, you WERE a ballerina and did a full spin with your hands in the air above your head in a graceful swan lake kind of style, ending up facing almost exactly where you started out only to hear not imaginary applause, but a gasp and see some woman standing there holding the door with her mouth gaping and moving like a big fish out of water? Yeah. me neither. That's why I now have to go to the bathroom on another floor in our office building.

You know, back in the 90's when aerobics was king, I tried. I really REALLY tried. My gym asked me to go to the "special class" just because I would get carried away and really into the music, kicking and grunting and doing all that crap, while wearing leotards and leg warmers --I'm sure they were acrylic ACK-- and would OCCASIONALLY grapevine the wrong way and knock many, many preppy leotarded women flying in all directions. Preppy, leotard clad women don't like getting knocked off their plastic steps onto their cute little butts. Jazzercise in the early 2000's wasn't much better. But at least they were smart and you put a lot of space between each of the exercisers. I did much less damage there, but decided maybe that wasn't the thing for me either.

Grace is not my thing. I turn corners and hit my shoulders on the wall. I've been known to fall off a barstool while NOT drunk. That's another reason I love knitting so. With yarn and needles, I can make anything. I swoosh, I click in rhythm, it's soothing. It's beautiful. It's graceful. I create beautiful, graceful things. (usually)




The start of the February Lady Sweater, (ravelry link) in the coral cascade 220 given to me by Chery. I do love garter stitch. Chery's almost finished her sweater in a gorgeous kettle dyed green. Mine is just getting fun. 2nd buttonhole on the next row! I'm using Elizabeth Zimmerman's Difinitive One Row Buttonhole from her Knitter's Almanac July chapter. Genius. The star is a bit of the fiddle faddle from August's chapter. I've also got two green trees, but left them at home so they didn't make the photo shoot.

Oh and I get my best photos on the sidewalk outside my building. The light's fabulous. Filtered, indirect, beautifully shows off the stitches. Yeah, can you imagine what they think of me now? Oh, that dancing-in-the-bathroom woman? She's the same one that crawls on the ground taking pictures of yarn? Oh.....Yeah......Her.

I forgot how much fun this could be!

Pre-sewn up and pre-felted, can't wait to see how they turn out!

At this stage, pre-felted knits are like cute little babies. You still have such hope for their futures. Your visions of what these little things will become is rosy, you can't wait..... They haven't gotten warped out of shape where you have to tug and pull and fight the fiber, cursing and crying and stomping around.... or am I the only one that does that when parenting felting? Can you tell it's been a long couple of weeks? :)

Holy crap was it hot at the lake. The WATER was even hot. We'd boat for a little bit, pull over into a cove, hop into the water and cool down. As we would swim, there would be HOT spots. Not a little warm, not eeeeewwwww why's the water warm over here, but WOW that water's HOT, HOT HOT HOT and everyone would go swimming over to where somebody else hollered "there's cold water over here!" then "OH NO, it's HOT again!" No visits to the hospital, so it was a good weekend all in all!

no pics, heading to the lake

OK, so I'm in a rut, not sure what to knit. So, I go stash diving. It's ever so much fun. Go ahead and try it yourself. It works best if spouses are traveling. Then you can get SERIOUSLY stash messy. Piles everywhere. Even though I have almost everything on ravelry, it is so much different to be putting your hands on the yarn, squooshing the yarn, smelling the yarn (GOD there's nothing like the vinegary smell of Schaefer yarn!). I didn't actually roll around in the yarn, so it wasn't that bad. I was really tempted to pile all of it up and jump off the bed into it, but figured with my luck and lack of any grace what-so-ever and the fact that we really don't need to go to another hospital for a while, thought better of the idea.

I've now got 3, count them 1-2-3 big ass bags ready to felt. I haven't felted a bag since I first started knitting and moved on from the schaefer anne scarves phase. They are fun, dammit. I didn't even realize that I'd missed them. Pics soon, I promise.

We're off to the lake for the weekend as a last-minute-decided trip. Crossing fingers and needles that no one busts any part of their bodies, gets stung, bitten or chewed upon by anything poisonous or creepy, and that no one barfs in the minivan.

I'm off with NO SWEATER or large project on the needles. I'm almost done with the 2nd K-State sock for Elizabeth and have NOTHING going. NOTHING. I am seriously out of whack. I've got about 3 projects' patterns printed out, yarn wound (using the "yarn baller" from Jeff. I can't even remember the name ball winder, yarn baller is so much more descriptive), ziplock bags packed. We're off! Have a good weekend!

OH and thank you to everyone for the good wishes and prayers for Joey. The boy did fantastic in his surgery. Things healed well, nothing horrible was cultured up in there and the MRSA Staff infection he cultured in his lungs last time didn't even read on the cultures from the surgery. WOO HOO! Now we've survived a week with a VERY active boy who can't run, jump, get out in the sun or basically be a boy. The leashes are off and he's off and running again.

Wishing us all a weekend with NO TICKS and LOTS of knitting time!

Pi Shawl with Accidental Appendage

Sweet mother, my Pi Shawl has a penis! I don't think this is what Elizabeth Zimmerman was envisioning. I know, I know. How can a knitter just knit along for so many freaking stitches and not realize something wasn't quite right? Well apparently I screwed up the original knit on 8 stitches at the beginning of the edging and then was off and running. It didn't look right at first, but once I got going, it looked like a real live shawl edging, so I told myself it would just fold over "just so" once it was all done. Yeah. That's not happening.

I should frog the whole edging and start it over. Or I should do some strategic snipping and weaving in of ends and new knitting and magically fix the edging. I'm sure it could be done. But it won't be done by me. Nope. I think if I knit a while on the 8 stitches and just make a band, I can do a Crying Game movie version of "the tuck". For those of you not familiar with that movie, let's just say a pretty girl turned out to not be a girl after all. She/he disguised the extra equipment by, um, tucking it back and up out of the way and no one was the wiser. Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.

This is just so, so very wrong. My little tribue to Elizabeth Zimmerman, knitting my way through her Knitters' Almanaca book, is having its moments. Only I could end up with a manly appendage on the edge of a sweet, little-old-lady version of a shawl. At first I thought I could block it out. Yeah. That's not looking possible. Thanks to the garter stitch construction of it, I have a quite substantial 4 inch long unblocked salute going on here that no matter how you push it down keeps popping back up again. Maybe when it's tucked in it could resemble a tail? It's just not right. Not right at all.

Here's the not-blocked-yet photo. I did the boring version with stockinette stitching and the YO rows. Textiles A Mano Lanita painted laceweight yarn bought at the Knitting in the Heartland Vendor market. Gorgeous yarn. 1750 yards. I still have a crapload of this yarn. I may decide to frog the edging someday and make it bigger, more like a big round afghan and redo the edging later.

Sounds of yesterday

Mom! Mom! Aren't you supposed to be up getting ready for work? Mom! MOOOOOMMMMMMM!

License and Registration, please (This one actually ended up in a warning only. Stupid 25 mile and hour road that I cruise along all the time not paying attention. Thank GOD for the KS State Highway Patrol, they still believe in warnings. I'm not a fan of the local police department here lately so when the lights flashed in the rear-view mirror, a few extra choice words were heard in the truck. Good thing it was at lunch from work, so no children had to witness the language.)

pssssscht Bottle of Mike's Hard Limeade opening at the end of a long day.

click, swish, click, swish, click, swish, click, swish sound of my addi turbos clicking along on the pi shawl. I never noticed before what a sweet, relaxing sound that is.

Road trips rock. Six hours each way, no driving! I only brought along projects I need to complete. Nothing new, shiny and pretty and enticing. None of the sweaters calling my name. None of the pretty new yarns begging to be started. Just plain old sitting-quietly-in-ziplock-bags old, boring projects. Finally finished up the honeymoon sock #2. Finished Jeff's fugly socks. Now that they're finished, they're not quite fugly. The yarn has grown on me a bit. I've got a couple skeins left of this Colinette Jazz mid-weight yarn. It may have to become thicker socks for me. Maybe. But not to be started for a while. Maybe a hat. ALMOST finished the edging on the pi shawl. DAMN that takes a long time. The shawl seemed to knit itself since it's just plain old stockinette mostly with a few rows of k1, YO thrown in at various points. I still don't know what the hell I'm going to do with a circular shawl, it's not my style what-so-ever. Ah well. I'll finish it and then figure it out. I've still got a crapload of the lace yarn.

Send a few good healing thoughts our way, please. Joey's going in for a sinus roto-rooter kind of surgery tomorrow morning. He'll have some polyps cut out and the goo all sucked out and cultured to see what's growing in his head. Poor kid. He's a trooper. This should help him out on the sinus infection stuff. He's been on various antibiotics for the last 6 months straight.

A true Hillbilly Holiday, but with yarn

It's gotten bigger. The Itty Bitty Sockyarn Bits Blanket is now officially baby blanket sized! The poor thing was unceremoniously dumped into the dirt on the hill when I ran to get a screaming, bleeding child off the sea-doo on the afternoon of the 4th, after just sitting down to knit about 20 minutes after arriving at the lake for a long holiday weekend vacation. My youngest step-son Ben had just landed wrong while tubing with his brother. His brother was fine, they didn't bump heads, or hit anything, but Ben's permanent front tooth had been knocked perpendicular and WAY shoved up past the gumline. I won't go into any details other than saying a LOT of blood, a LOT of screaming, dumping of yarn, running, ice in washcloths, towels, jumping into van in our bloody swimsuits, clothes, etc. lucky to have shoes on the rest of us and THANK GOD for extra knitting in the van. Always, ALWAYS have emergency knitting stuck inside your vehicle. SCREW the jumper cables, you can always borrow some from another car. Can you borrow some yarn and needles as easily? I think not.

Nutshell version, everyone's fine and the sockyarn blanket got picked up, dusted off and knitted on later that weekend. Longer version includes spending about 4 hours at the only hospital in our part of the Ozarks. Let me tell you people, you see some strange things on the 4th of July in an emergency room. But seriously? In an Ozark emergency room on the 4th of July? OH holy hell I could write a book. After waiting and trying not to watch the sideshows, they bring Ben out, heavily sedated on an iv morphine drip telling me we have to drive him RIGHT NOW to Children's Mercy Hospital in KC (3 hours away) RIGHT NOW. Oh, and try to make sure his tongue doesn't swell up and choke him on the way. Ok, WHAT? How do you DO that? Make sure his tongue doesn't swell up? What do we do if it does? Squish it back down? Holy crap Ozarkman!

OK, back to nutshell version as my fingers are tired of typing and want to get back to knitting and get some sleep. We raced safely back over hilly, windy roads and poor Joey almost barfing from carsickness in the back. Joey, David (older stepson) and I stayed behind at the cabin as we had everything out, turned on, fire still burning in the pit, etc. Jeff grabbed clean clothes, wallet and cell phone and hit the road around 7:30pm, spent most of the night at Children's Mercy and finally went home around 6am with Ben. They wired his tooth where it's supposed to be and told him he's got a 50/50 chance of it taking hold again, otherwise can have it replaced. No stitches, I don't know HOW they did that, but I didn't look too closely as I get queasy easily. He's on antibiotics and pain meds and feeling better. Apparently in the cat scan they did, they said Ben actually fractured his skull where the tooth root came out. No one seemed very concerned, but that freaked me out.

So, the emergency knitting? My sock yarn blanket was still back in the dirt on the hill. My sock in progress was in the cabin. I'd left the Pi Shawl in the van to pull out when I had time to concentrate as I was ready to start the edging on it. THANK GOD I had that to grab as we went into the ER. Well, the only problem was that the DIRECTIONS to said edging was in the cabin. Also the EZ Knitters' Almanac book? In the cabin. Good thing I've got a LOT of yarn left as I faced four hours and no other knitting. The shawl will be larger. Did the next set of YO increases and let me tell you, that thing is gonna be HUGE by the time I get an edging on. It'll be pretty, but damn it'll be big. Seriously, though, emergency knitting. GET SOME and keep it in your car. A ball of sockyarn and some needles? It'll save your sanity some day. And laceweight yarn? You can knit FOREVER on that stuff.

Sunday afternoon they came back to the lake. We spent two more days and then Joey and I went back to KC. Jeff offered to keep Joey for me too, but I said, no, I'd better take him home with me. He's got to get ready for a sinus surgery in two weeks and I just didn't want to push it.

Good thing as when Jeff called today to check in he said they almost had to go back to the hospital. After being told, no, it wasn't the tooth getting knocked out, it was Ben's eye. Apparently while Jeff was working on a big tree that uprooted in a recent storm, the boys got bored and thought it would be fun to throw rocks at each other. Yeah. Ben took a big one just next to his eye and has a big split, goose egg and bruise. When Jeff told me I couldn't help it, I said, "um, THAT'S why I didn't leave Joey."

Apparently Jeff doesn't think it's the funniest thing he's ever heard that every time he calls now I ask if he's at the hospital. I tell you, I still think it's funny as hell. He called tonight while I was at MisKnits for the FO Wednesday night. Jo Major was working on a gorgeous shawl. I came in, wiping my eyes from cracking myself up at the witty comment of "what hospital are you at now?" See, it's STILL funny. ANYWAY, walking back in and heard my son Joey ask Jo Major what she was knitting. "A Shawl" "What do you do with it?" "You Fight CRIME with it." And just for a minute, he looked like he was thinking......so THAT'S how they do it..... and then the regular 8 year old boy look came back. But just for a minute, you could totally see him thinking he could fly if his momma would just make him a magical cape.

Some more neat knitting I'm working on...a very cool stitch for malabrigo yarn. Free pattern will be posted soon. I found a neat stitch in a very old knitting/crocheting book from the 40's as part of a sweater insert on teensy needles. Thought I'd try it out on malabrigo, cause everything's better on malabrigo. So in love with this I'm making TWO scarves. And working up some matching fingerless mitts. mmmmmmmm malabrigoooooooo





Man, I was just thankful we were all mostly ok and mostly in one piece. Also I was totally thankful that we got out of the ER before dark and the unlucky firework injuries started coming in. I tell you, I barely had the stomach for what we saw just on a regular Ozarks-Gone-Wild July 4th Daytime version. I sure hope God has a good sense of humor, because part of my prayer when we were finally all together again was "Dear Lord, thank you for not letting any of us get ourselves blowed up." Man, it's not safe to spend too much time backwoods. I swear the next thing you know you'd find me eating squirrel and knitting that backless tank top made of fun fur on knitty. Ok, so we've totally grilled squirrel and drank home-brew at our house, but I draw the line at knitting a backless fun fur tank top. Draw. the. Line.

Funny how my outdoor knitting adventures never quite turn out like those Elizabeth Zimmermann wrote of. Somehow the great outdoors and knitting seemed to mesh in such a peaceful manner for EZ. I just try to not get blowed up.