Picture-heavy post

OK, I admit it, I have a serious problem. Not the sock yarn pictured below, even though I've made all of 6 pair of socks and have enough to keep the whole family in socks for eternity, nope. The problem is that I have that sock yarn (um, plus another bag of lorna's laces sock yarn & 4 more big-ass balls of opal). Nope, the problem is that while I have ALL that yarn, I went out and bought more. After blowing the budget for yarn for the rest of the year. But seriously, can you blame me? I am trying very hard to find brown, black and grey yarn. Not hand-dyed multi-colored, nope, BLAH yarn for Jeff's socks. He loves the one pair I made him, but they were artyarns and a bit too flamboyant for him (dark blues & greys & greens). I have tried very VERY hard to knit boring blah socks, but I just can't do it. Then I wandered into Knitwits in Olathe. Damn that store. I do love it. I said, "I'm just wandering, just getting ideas..." then mentioned I was looking for man socks that had to be muted but that wouldn't make me insane to knit and if they happened to be heavier weight to be knit on 5's...but of course you wouldn't have anything like that, right? BAM. I'm hooked. Mountain Colors in the most luscious browns you've ever seen. It's muted, it's understated, it's LUSCIOUS in my hands, and the boy loves it.

Why, Christine, that looks like quite a tacky table you're using to photograph that yarn! Yes, yes it is. It's an authentic (chewed gum was even under the table when we got it) old diner booth and table that Jeff found and fixed up and now it's in the corner of our kitchen. We LOVE it! Welcome to the Big Heiny Diner..."get the hate off your plate" I'll give the man some credit, he is creative. The bulletin board and the trivet hanging on the walls were made from wine corks he put into heavy wood frames he made. I'll make brown socks for this boy anytime he asks!





Come back soon, ya'll!

Ta Da!

I LOVE THIS SWEATER!!!!!! Details:
Pattern: Simple Knitted Bodice by Glampyre
Yarn: Silky Wool by Elsebeth Lavold color #16
Needles: sz 7 and 5 circ addi-turbos
Time: I think around 1-2 weeks total
Adjustments to Pattern: knit garter stitch rounds instead of the purl bumps called for on each side of the lace, at end of sleeves and neckline. It just looked more flattering for me.
Fit: Like a freaking dream

(Please ignore the fact that I'm wearing this over my workout pants, I had to get the bf to take the pic before he left for work and I've got to go walking and working out in a few minutes!) I think I need to keep making sweaters. This one and the sizzle are the only ones I actually wear. All the rest are laying in wait for a frog session and to be re-knit into something that FITS! Yes Virginia, there is a swatch goddess, and she gets really pissy if you don't MAKE SWATCHES and then KEEP MEASURING and TRYING ON sweaters as you go. I think I'll wear this one every day. If you click the pic you can see a close-up of the lace panel. I'm making another one in the short-sleeved version, but haven't decided what color of yarn yet. I think I'll make a smaller size for it and will absolutely use the same yarn. It almost never split and has a fabulous drape, isn't too heavy but is quite warm.

All in all, a keeper!

Answer: Shaky Legs

Question: What do you get when you mouth off to your personal trainer that you haven't really been feeling the exercises he gave you to practice?

Holy crap I about fell over while trying to sit on the toilet. Not an exaggeration. My left leg when all jimmy legs on me and I very delicately slammed myself onto the pot. Nice. Apparently the new workout this week is working already.

I've made it through about 2 weeks of eating mostly healthy and walking almost every day. I also do some strength training about 4 times a week and I feel like an absolute goddess (ok one with very shaky legs today). Seriously people, start taking a multivitamin. Find out if you need to take iron pills (I'm always anemic) and eat a few more veggies and fruits. Walk a little bit. It SUCKS when you start, I can still hear the nutty bars calling....but it gets better all the time. I've not dropped much weight yet, but I feel ENERGETIC AS HELL. LOOKOUT WORLD! Only drawback I see is that I get entirely too excited about things like knitting and shopping as well. Um, a little bitty bit too much koigu was purchased this weekend.

I went to the Studio on Sunday before the Chiefs game (which sucked, but OMG how great was that hair-pulling tackle? Best part of the game for me. I think the part I liked the best was when we got not only tackled by the hair, but then picked back up by the hair afterwards!) ANYWAY I went for TWO things. #1. To get 2 more skeins of the Koigu I made my socks of doom star wars socks out of to make another pair for me. #2. To get some brown heavier weight sock yarn for Jeff (I found a Koigu kersti that should work.) but then ended up somehow these other 6 skeins jumped into my cart along with a novel and a few magazines. $150 was spent, WAY MORE than the budgeted $50 for yarn for the month. cripes.

Knitting tonight! Toto's Coffeehouse, 6915 Johnson Drive in Mission, KS. Just east of Metcalf on Johnson Drive next to Don Chilitos Mexican Restaurant. The Heartland Knitting Guild meets there on the 3rd Monday evening of the month. Tonight one of the ladies is putting on a demo to teach this COOL wavy stitch scarf/shawl pattern. If you're coming bring worsted weight yarn, sz 9-10 1/2 needles depending on the yarn, and I think they said 200 yds would be a scarf and between 300-500 for a shawl. I'm using some of the yarn that jumped itself into my basket at the Studio and am hoping it will be the perfect project for my best friend Jildo's shawl that I was supposed to have to her about 4 months ago. I've started and dumped at least 4 different shawls thinking it would work and none have felt right. I'm thinking this will be it. I LOVE the yarn, pics tomorrow I promise.

Guess what I'll be wearing tonight???? YES the simple knitted bodice! I'll have someone take a pic since I still haven't figured out my damn timer button. on the to-do list, no worries.

So I'm officially dead, but I have pictures and toasty toes!

These were waiting for me at the post office this morning. I even had this cute card inside showing a roadmap of the trip my socks took from the initial assasin on the east coast out to Carrie in Seattle to me in KC! The kids got quite a kick out of it! Socks fit and are even hand-painted wool and LOVERLY!! I'd totally do sock wars again the next time around!

I was sitting at a yarn shop the other day knitting and said something about having startitis. This lady that was shopping said, "but don't you ever get finishitis?" Yeah, right. Well the closest to finishitis I've gotten is all of a sudden I'm in a hurry to start on my Xmas crap but want to get a few loose ends finished up. Last night I finished Joey's pioneer colorway socks out of Lorna's Laces which I LOVE!!


OK, enough knitting crap. Here's some pictures from the field trip the other day with Joey's 1st grade class in the COLD COLD COLD morning air. Mine is the one in the ski mask. We had an absolute BLAST! I'm going back to the Red Barn Farm in Weston, MO sometime to wander through the big ol' gift shop and to just be outdoors in the pretty surroundings! Have a good weekend people!

Sock wars continues...

First pair of socks OUT IN THE MAIL baby! WOO HOO! MAN it was hard to mail these off, I didn't want to let them go. Good thing my target had itty bitty feet so not only were they FAST to knit, but they wouldn't fit me either! Let's all admire the pretty koigu..... (ok, so I'm totally going back to get another 2 skeins to make myself a pair too, can you blame me?)

Now the waiting game begins....will my socks get here before my target's unfinished socks come to me to finish? What a fun concept this sock wars thing is!

NOW I'm going to start on the neckline of my sweater to get it done. Of course, the honey boy who, um, NEVER wore the big ol' socks I knit for him for valentine's day last year....Ok, he wore them ONCE. He starts pouting about me making socks for some woman instead of for him. Now he apparently LIKES the socks I made and wants about 4 more pair. cripes. I have about 45 projects I need to start. Somehow through the tank-top knitting craze that took hold of me recently, I totally forgot that Christmas season is coming! HOLY CRAP!!! When did this happen? I went on a field trip with Joey's class and would have frozen my ass off, but for the wool products I was sporting (socks, sweater, clapotis, wrist warmers, ear band) YEAH baby, WARM WARM WARM! I'll put up pics tomorrow, the farm was so cute! We went to the red barn in Weston, MO and toured pumpkin patches, apple orchards, bee-keeping stuff and saw the animals and talked about WOOL in the blindingly cold wind! They even had a felted wool blanket covering the bee-hive thing to keep the queen and her minions toasty warm. I need me some minions. I have children and people that annoy me, I could totally work the minion thing.

Anyway, MAJOR feelings of stress......wrist warmers for teachers, socks for honey, sweaters for both kids and the honey and shawl for Jildo, not to mention I need to finish some socks for ME to keep my little toes all toasty (one and a half pair just won't work out for the entire winter). I'll most likely get in another major fit of startitis and say screw it all, and start another totally inappropriate project. Life can't be all planned and make sense, can it? I think I may just spend the evening after the kids go to bed tonight sorting through the stash and getting inspired.

May the force be with me...

OK, so I'm a sock warrior in serious trouble. Yup, there's almost completed socks gunning for me. I've just gotten started and knit my ass off last night and have ONE half of ONE sock, just turned the heel. They're on sz 5's, so it's going fast, but will it be fast enough? OH MY GOD I'm having a blast with SOCK WARS! You knitters are so damn creative, it's amazing. At least I'm enjoying the hell out of the yarn I bought for this....koigu kersti in the most loverliest shades of greens and browns and I got myself a treat!!! Lantern Moon Rosewood double points. Life is too short to use crappy needles. I'm telling you, the beautiful colors of the yarn, the dark amazingly smooth pretty shiny needles, have you ever seen anything prettier? *sigh* So, in a nutshell, I'm screwed, soon to be dead, but I'm going down fighting! knit, knit, knit, knit (the neckline of the sweater will have to wait a few more days) I think I'm gonna have to go get some more of this yarn as it's just so perfect for the fall weather.

I got to see my best friend in the world yesterday! WOO HOO for Jildo! I'll take pics of the beautiful early birthday presents I got from her! We are the very BEST kind of best friends because we're both lazy and crazy and the queens of all enablers and rationalizers. It's the kind of relationship where when life gets going and everything gets hectic and we don't talk for a few weeks, we start up just where we left off. OH I love that lady!!! I owe her a major trip to the farm so we can just talk all night. Got to convince the grandparents that they WANT to take my kids for a weekend!

My favorite Jildo/Tina memory? It's GOT to be the time we were weaving our way home from Bruff's bar in Emporia back to the sorority house. My future ex-husband was trying to look like a gentleman and following us home in the car. (Jildo used an electric wheelchair that sometimes would have the battery die in the most inopportune of times and places.) It's got to be about 2:30am or so, I'm riding on the arm of her chair or wobbling along on the sidewalk, Jim is driving his car with the windows down, Jill calling out to him to change the radio station because whatever was playing stunk. A cop car comes up and flashes his lights, pulls up to us and asks if everything's ok. Jill (a pretty blond with big ol' eyes) says "Oh, Officer! We're so scared, this creepy guy is following us!" and bats her eyelashes at him. The cop gets all tough looking, pulls out the big monster flashlight aka beat-the-crap-outta-someone stick and heads for Jim's car, Jill takes off down the road humming a little tune. HAH! OK, so you had to be there to fully appreciate it, Gawd, I almost wet myself just remembering... We often lament that I went back and explained the situation and averted an arrest that night. Ah well, if I didn't have that first marriage, I wouldn't be the woman I am today and I wouldn't have those two amazing kids of mine.

Computer problems at work may just help me have a few minutes time to get back on those sock wars socks!

Guess what I have?

One of THESE

one of THESE


which creates one of THESE


I still need to do the neckline edging and sew in a few ends and BAM it's almost DONE!!! WOO HOO!! Please ignore the lovely neck creases there, I swear by the end of October I WILL sit my ass down and learn how to use the timer button so I'm not doing these funky stick your arm out and lean and point the camera and don't breathe shots. ANYWAY I've even been thinking of how cute this would be in a smaller size with the short sleeves in another color. quite cute I think. Let me finish the first one before biting off more than I can chew here.

Did absolutely NONE of the fun things around KC I was talking about on Friday. We did have a good weekend with ALL of the kids. Holy crap-a-mighty, I am not cut out to be a full-time momma of four children. We survived better than most weekends, I did not have a migraine, that's a plus. I realized I'm not getting more mellow, I'm just caring less about the little stuff. I have pretty much given up having any control of the situation, I'm just trying to keep anyone from getting killed. All survived, so we're good to go. I realized I was getting my once-a-month migraines NOT because it was that hormonal time when the little blue birth control pills go to the white pills and that fun Joy of Womanhood gets ready to visit (I swear that's how my mother put it during the talk with the charts and pictures of fallopian tubes and such, the JOY OF WOMANHOOD). Anyway, I don't think the migraines were due to the lack of estrogen, nope, it was a fun combination of the full moon, the impending JOY, AND having four children in my house, two of whom are used to doing whatever they want whenever they want and yelling at their momma in their own house. Kind of like those deaths you hear about when people combine medications? It's just too much to handle all at once. Did much better this weekend due to a LOT of knitting, sitting on the back screened-in porch and discussing the NEW HOUSE RULES (#1 is NO ONE yells at THIS momma. NO ONE. Not if you wanna grow up to see 5th grade.)

Happy Happy Joy Joy dammit

Things to do in KC this weekend

Going for my morning walk in the cool fall weather and, well, my ears were cold. yeah. A knitter with cold ears. Is there nothing sadder? I have NO hats or ear bands or anything. so very sad. I have a cedar chest crammed full of malabrigo yarn and I got nothin. Before I finish my other sleeve I will at least make a ribbed band to wear over my ears. cripes almighty. Hey, I could cover myself in felted bags or sleeveless sweaters, and I do have a scarf and a pair of wrist warmers, so it's not totally pathetic....yeah, it really is. Embarrasing, actually.

Anyone interested in making the simple knitted bodice I've been raving about needs to check out the sexy knitters blog I've got linked with a button on the right. I've gotten more help and ideas and inspiration and yarn choices, etc from reading all these ladies' posts. Right now they're working on both the simple knitted bodice and the sleeveless sweater sizzle.

Cool things going on around KC this weekend...
Missouri Town 1855 Big fun craft festival Sat. & Sun. with activities for the kids, people dying wool in big boiling pots over fires, spinners, native american crafts, FOOD and all kinds of fun. Click the link for info as well as a $2 off coupon. It's only $7/car without the coupon and the food & crafts were pretty reasonably priced. I don't think we'll be able to go this year, but I'm trying to work it in since we had such a good time last year.

Kansas City Chocolate Festival on Sat. at Bartle Hall. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Can't go. Must not go. chocolate samples? mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

OctZOOberfest at the KC Zoo. Each weekend they have hayrides and other outdoor activities and crafts as well as the animals which are usually much more active and interesting in the cooler weather. On the 28th and 29th, they have the big trick-or-treat festival which is absolutely INSANE but the kids have a blast.

Home Depot Kids Workshops First Sat. of each month free kid activities. Adult works with kids (and the home depot helpers too) to make cool projects with kits. Kids LOVE it and they get little orange aprons and pins with pictures of the projects they've made. My kids have made step-stools, crayon-holder fire trucks, picture frames, flowerpot planters, all kinds of creations they were quite proud of. FREE and fun. Contact your local store to sign up in advance. I have found the store at 95th & Metcalf to have the best helper staff.

American Royal BBQ Festival OOPS I totally forgot this one. I am hungry just thinking of all that unbelievable BBQ mmmmmmmmmm Thanks for reminding me guys!

OK, I totally enjoyed my morning walk. I was gone for AN HOUR and just loved it. Then I got back and ate an egg, some chocolate milk (love my shatto) and fresh fruit and LIKED IT. This healthy living crap may just start to grow on me. Cripes, even green tea sounds good now.

Check out the water tower we saw on our trip

How cool is that? I can't remember the name of the little town this was in, maybe California MO? somewhere near there. The kids and I saw this on our way to & from Jefferson City MO for a wedding of one of my cousins last weekend. I just thought it was cool as hell. In the middle of rolling green hills, cows grazing, a big ol' eight-ball.

I can see the END of one of my sleeves. I am about ready to do the final edging on ONE sleeve and then have to start on the other. I just love the lace band on the sweater and the sleeves, it adds something really distinctive to the design of the Simple Knitted Bodice. LOVE that glampyre!

Workout update. I am a total idiot. I absolutely HATE walking on treadmills. Hate it. H.A.T.E. I.T. I have been forcing myself to walk/jog for 20 min's each day and want to get up to 45 mins. I'm constantly watching the timer count down each second, trying to read the captions on the stupid-ass shows they have on the tv's without losing my balance and falling off, getting all sweaty and generally quite pissy. This morning after walking the kids to school it was such a pretty day I took the long way home and had walked 20 minutes without even REALIZING it since it was a beautiful fall morning. DUH. Leaves changing, squirrels hopping from tree to tree, dogs playing in yards, what a beautiful thing. cripes. Hopefully this little brainstorm that I may actually LIKE walking/jogging OUTDOORS will help the ol' workout plan along.

I did the trainer workout and we're working on my core. Apparently I have no core. No, that's not true. There's something in there because it was shaking all dang workout. WOW. I was doing the plank thing, feeling pretty proud of myself because now I can make it 30 seconds without shaking like a 4th grade girl doing the bent arm hang (remember that in school, poor kids having to hang up on that damn bar with everyone watching while you shake like you're having a major seizure? Yeah, I was the girl that started shaking IMMEDIATELY upon hanging). Anyway, the trainer guy's like "wow, I've never seen anyone shake like THAT before while doing the plank. Are you ok?" I think I scared the poor boy. Ah well. One week of getting some form of exercise done and eating responsibly and I feel GREAT! Empowered even. Look out world, this chic is serious.

I made the world's best roast last night. Really. Best in the world. I always thought I didn't like roast. Apparently it was the 2 packets of lipton onion soup mix my mom always put in hers and then I always put in mine that I didn't like. I thought it was the rule of the roast or something. I cut up 4 big potatoes, 2 white onions and tossed them in the bottom of the crockpot. Then browned a HUGE 3 1/2 lb chuck roast with some good fat on it, patted in a butt-load of steak seasoning salt on all sides, put it on top of the taters. Poured in a can of Campbell's mushroom & garlic soup, one can of water and put it on high for 5 hours. I even took the juice and did the mix cold water and corn starch and then pour it into the juice in a pan and whisk to make non-lumpy gravy. AND IT WAS GOOD and NOT lumpy. Warmed up some green beans, served with a salad and it was a freaking feast. I ate a nice portion of all the good food and I'm telling you, that roast tasted GOOD!!!

BEST part of the trainer meeting thing? I get to EAT MORE and MORE OFTEN!!! woo hoo! OK, so I have to eat a lot more fruits and veggies and protein and calcium, but we found stuff that even a picky eater like ME can do! Chocolate milk (helloooooo Shatto milk) is my favorite addition to the whole eating healthy plan.

I realize most of you do serious cooking, but I'm still in the worshipping all things Rachel Ray stage of my cooking experience. She had a chicken wing chili recipe on her show this morning that looked to die for! I'm also using the joy of cooking book and taught myself how to boil eggs. Stop laughing. I had to look in a book to do that.

These are the sleeves that never end....they just go on and on my friend...

OK, so now I'm getting why I'm such a fan of the knitted tank top. Holy crap-a-mighty! Why is it that the body of a sweater can go so fast and the sleeves take for-freaking-ever? At the widest point of the sleeve, there are only 85 stitches. The body had 188 stitches. It is statistically impossible for it to take me longer to make ONE FREAKING SLEEVE than the entire body of this sweater. I know, I know, I am a bit more excited at the beginning of a project, I'm sure that's it, but I'd better get my butt moving or I'm gonna have to stick to sleeeveless sweaters and freeze my ass off all winter. STILL have about 5 inches to go on the FIRST sleeve of the skb. I'm loving the sweater, just tiring of the sleeve knitting. Must. keep. knitting.

I haven't replied to ANY comments because my stinking email is giving me fits. I tell you, it was hard enough convincing my living-simple-kind-of-a-guy to accept the idea of having high speed internet in his house. OH what a struggle. I finally get him going on that (got to have it for my job since I work from my home computer logged into our system at work). I even get him to LIKE it. We use roadrunner. Roadrunner's like all the rest, it's got its own particular glitches and pain in the ass moments, but I've dealt with them for years and am finally getting used to them. Then some massive kablooey happens and the work system no longer accepts any communications from roadrunner systems. nice. Work says "you gotta switch." Not gonna happen in this lifetime with this man. SO now our home office has BOTH roadrunner AND yahoo dsl for me. We also have digital phones and with some weird phone system from the previous home owners, we have ONE working landline plug (in the home office) and ONE digital phone plug (in the home office) that's been split into 2 sets of hand-held phones. Let me tell you, we have wires coming out of our EARS up here.

To shorten this long boring story, I'll just say we've not quite figured out how to deal with little glitches in the dsl system yet AND we had some interference going on with ALL our phones and add in a ton of stress and we had a MAJOR blow up in the upstairs office. OMG Jeff was hollering, moving wires all over the damn place, I've gotta take a picture, it looks like HELL in here. We've got every phone wire and power cord and ethernet cord and you name it cord now not touching anything else. We have them hanging on push-pins stuck in the walls, hanging off pictures, lamps, bookshelfs, everywhere! We even have them hanging up and over the corner of the mini-blinds across the windows. nice. He also decides to do this in the middle of the 2 hours I have left to solve a massive problem with my JOB's communications system and I lose it. I start yelling, I'm crying (I always cry when I get mad which serves to piss me off further) and at one point I'm even THROWING four heavy plastic crates across the room against the walls and door. seriously major fit. My point was #1. I was having a stressful day on its own and didn't need him adding to the stress, #2. I told him I didn't have time for him to do his major unplugging and rerouting thing RIGHT THEN, and #3. He was just generally pissing me off. OH LORDY I was PISSSSED! All is better now. I got a very nice backrub out if it and a chinese dinner without having to cook. Plus can we get a "hoh yeah!" (spoken like Peg from King of the Hill) for make-up sex? hoh yeah!

OK, I now see the light and I totally posted a picture of a fat chick's butt on my knitting blog. How many blogrings will that get me knocked off of? HAH! I'm still wondering who that woman got to PAINT her ASS? Are you sure it's not a fat baby? I still think it could be. Ah well. Madam Inappropriate strikes again.

Weight-Loss Bet update...
Jeff's decided he's got it made. He's predicted he's going to end up with a skinny chick who'll be exactly 3 pounds over the betted weight AND get to keep his money AND get to have his lawn mowed all summer long while he sits on his ass and drinks beer. Nice. I've now officially GAINED 6 pounds since beginning the damn bet. I have actually been working out for about 45 minutes 4 times a week and eating healthy until about 10pm when I lose my mind. Damn junkfood. I'm trying to get SERIOUS to get this thing DONE. I go for my first of 5 free trainer workouts today. I joined at the 24 hour fitness gym and am LOVING it! I told the guy I know all about the don't use the scale as your measure of fitness kind of crap, but it IS all about the weight. If I turn out looking like a hottie, well that's ok too. Basically I want to be able to walk into a store and buy a pair of pants. That's it. And take serious cash from my honey and avoid total humiliation and sweating all summer long too. We're going to work on CORE stuff and I quote "the weight should just fall off." I'm ready for some falling action. Wish me luck.

Sheep Invaders

First of all, I should point out that the picture from Friday's post was of a BABY's butt. I got a scathing email about my site becoming a porn site and about my lack of morals (had she EVER read my blog before? morals be damned!) and seriously people, get a grip.

This game is courtesy of my kids. They found it for me and I played all night. Ok, I played for about 20 minutes, but that's a long time. Too much fun!

Sheep Invaders

Dodging sheep poo. Unbelievably fun.

On knitting news, I have half of one sleeve completed on the SKB and on non-knitting news, Jeff is now a cowboy. He and a friend who has some land in southern KS went into partnership and they went and bought themselves 2 cows and 2 calves. Jeff spent the weekend fixing barbed wire fence and going to a cattle auction. They're putting a bull from the farmer across the road in with the 2 cows for a month and are hoping to grow their herd. I thought it was quite cute and fun and was SO freaking supportive.

Right up until about 45 minutes ago when as Jeff sat on the bed next to me rubbing my shoulder, I picked up his hand to kiss it and saw a FREAKING TICK CRAWLING ON IT!!!!!! OH MY HOLY HELL I hate ticks even more than BEES (which is way more than the spiders and moths I've had issues with in the past.)! It was a teeny tiny thing, but it survived a 30 minute shower to be almost crawling on me. He was smart enough to strip his clothes off in the laundry room (on the floor though) and I found ANOTHER ONE crawling on his jeans!!! Clothes are now boiling in hot water in the washing machine, floors and walls were vacuumed (I know this doesn't kill them, but it made me feel a little better), sheets, blankets and such were stripped from the bed and they're awaiting a good hot washing in bleach as well. I'm trying to figure a way to bug bomb the car so he doesn't bring MORE of the fuxxers each time he gets into his car. I then made the poor boy strip down and examined every inch of him while holding a tweezers with a double shot of crappy rum sitting close by to drop the fuxxers into (only alcohol we have left in the house since I just downed 2 mike's hard limeades FAST) and nothing seems to be crawling. He was nervous with me holding a sharp metal implement near his nether-regions but it was either humor the psycho chic or sleep in the tick car. I think he figured I'd just jump him with the tweezers again in the morning, so he gave up the fight. (Plus he's seen me after the moth came fluttering up out of the bag with my almost completed clapotis last fall and witnessed the crazy microwaving of the yarn after the crazy running around the house cursing and smashing a bug scene, so he knows it's a losing battle.)

I'm off to go pour what's left of the bleach all over the shower and on anything I think may be moving. I have to admit I totally freaked myself out a few minutes ago because I get those floaty things in my eyes and thought it was a swarm of ticks. OOPS. Ah well, the bathroom floor probably needed a good dose of cleaner anyway.

I'd even been trying to appease any strange bug mojo that may have been off. I let at least 3 bugs LIVE by nicely scooping them up on paper and dropping them NICELY outdoors in the last couple of months. If tick central is how I am rewarded, I'm about 1 limeade away from declaring outright war on anything creepy and or crawly. And I have big feet, so that means BIG SHOES to schwack things with. cripes almighty.

In my morning email

It's crappy picture day!

When will I learn to use the freaking delay button on my camera? when? I tried. I really tried. I didn't actually find the manual or go online, but I pushed a LOT of buttons after finding the timer button. It is just a little too smart for me today. So, you get a crappy picture of what is working up to be quite a smart-looking sweater. It is turning out a bit loose, but I think it's ok. I'm just hoping the wool in the silky wool will help hold the stitches and not let it stretch out too much more. Maybe I'll even toss it in the dryer for a few minutes just to see what happens..... maybe not. I'll try to wear it as is first. no worries. The lace is cool, the knitting in the round just FLIES off the needles. It's like an obsession for me. I can't wait to finish up the sleeves and WEAR it! I still need to do the neckline so it'll be a low sweater worn over a tank top. I'm really enjoying knitting with the silky wool as well. STILL can't believe I got it for $5/skein. I heart webs!



I promise to take a GOOD picture once the sweater is completed. I'd SO SO SO recommend this sweater to make, I did do some frogging on the lace band the first few rounds and then again on the first 2 rounds of the sleeve band, but that was because I am Mentally Lace Challenged, not because it was difficult. I think it's the easiest lace pattern I've ever done. Then I started thinking, hm, if I had to frog over and over on THIS thing, WTF was I doing jumping in on all those big ass lace shawl projects a couple of months ago??? Ah well. I don't think I've ever done anything the easy way. Life would've been much too boring. I just call it "taking the scenic route" whether we miss a few turns in the car and end up in the wrong part of town, or whether I miss a few stitches and I end up on the wrong side of the pattern.

THE BET IS ON....
I'm losing my connection to Blogger this am, so here's the nutshell version of the story. Never, ever make a bet when you're getting tipsy and mouthy. I can either win $2500 or lose $500 AND have to mow the grass with a crappy old push mower WHILE MY BOYFRIEND (and most likely the neighbors as well) sit in the driveway drinking a beer ALL SUMMER LONG. Bet is that I will or will not get to my target weight by March 1, 2006. If I get there earlier, I get the $$ then. I don't have to MAINTAIN the weight, I just have to be there for one moment that is witnessed by us both.

After shaking on the bet, I've since GAINED four pounds. nice. Jeff's sure he'll win because I OCCASIONALLY put things off until the very last minute and then run around like crazy for a few days. I don't know WHERE he got that idea. Wish me luck people.

Weebles Wobble but they don't fall down

GAWD I used to love my weeble wobbles when I was a kid! This is what my cousin brought me from his job fair. Just what a bunch of computer techy 21 year olds would want, huh? A WEEBLE WOBBLE CLOCK!!! I totally love it! It does actually weeble and wobble around and everything. Everybody needs one. I love that boy. I'll feed him for a week for this one.

I got SO SO SO much knitting done on my skb sweater it freaked me out. I'd happily freak you out as well, but don't want to take the damn thing off the needles to try it on, so I'm just doing the hold-it-up-in-front-of-the-body-and-squint sizing. I'm sure it'll be fine. I was more sure of this last night after 2 glasses of wine than in the bright light of day, but I'm starting the bottom 10 rows of the body, so if it doesn't fit now, what's 10 more rows? (does anyone else hear the darth vader music going on in your head too now? duh...duh...duh..........duh....duh...duh) What was the line..."I've got a baaaaad feeling about this." repeated by almost everyone in the original Star Wars movie? Can you guess what we've been watching around here lately? It's such fun to share those amazingly cool movies of our youth with my own kids. LOVE that. I think I'll wait a few more years for the Indiana Jones movies to ward off potential nightmares of snakes, melting faces, etc.

Hope to have a sweater body that FITS to try on for the camera tonight or tomorrow. I went out to the old square part of Independence yesterday morning while work's computer system was down (don't you just HATE that? Forced free time?) and wandered around Knitcraft. I bought almost no yarn (since I must already have enough in the stash for 3 stash hoarding knitters) but some boring black and charcoal sock yarn for Jeff and a few really cute patterns and about 6 magazines from the $1 basket including a few good Knitters, a Rebecca, and some crochet mags as well. I spent much of the afternoon reading and dreaming and drooling over new project ideas.

I'd been looking for a sweater pattern to make for each of my children since the children of knitters SHOULD in fact, WEAR items made by their mothers if their mothers weren't so busy knitting things for THEMSELVES. I wandered and perused all through hundreds of patterns for TWO HOURS, saw a few cute things, but nothing just right. Then I found it. The Wonderful Wallaby!



The Wonderful Wallaby is the ultimate hooded sweater for all members of the family from the tiniest to the largest. I had to laugh out loud. I had totally forgotten about the Wallaby. An amazing lady named Camille was the one who tried to tell me this was the perfect sweater for my chilren long ago. I believe I snorted tropical iced tea out of my nose (literally) when she told me I'd be making this someday and would think of her and know she was wise. (She was also a bit of a smartass so this was said with attitude.) At the time I was a VERY beginning knitter, only able to make scarves and felted bags. I made a LOT of scarves and a LOT of felted bags and two tank tops that were the most unattractive things on the face of the earth. She also encouraged (aka gently bullied) me into teaching some of the friends I brought along to the knit group how to knit ON MY OWN after she showed me how to teach others. I thought she was insane. I have since taught my daughter and at least 8 other women how to become a part of this amazing cult of knitters. You were right Camille, you were wise. I think the sweaters are going to be even more special now. For a woman I didn't know for a very long time, you sure made a big impression on me. Your love of the craft, of the fibers, of the people we knit for, but mostly for each other. You were always accepting of others, full of joy and made me feel happy just by sitting and knitting with you. Meeting you at your old knit group on Wed. nights really forced me to get out of my little shell and start making friends again, which inspired me to make the knitting blog, which helped me make even more friends. I have had just enjoyed the hell out of myself since I've started knitting. Thanks for everything and I miss you.

Happy Homemaker Strikes Again

Last night an actual dinner was served at my house. Chili in the crockpot, scalloped potatoes (I'd never made them before and they were the yummiest things I've ever eaten. I amaze myself. I truly do.), fruit, beer bread (brought by my sister-in-law) and spinach dip with a bottle of wine brought by my dad mom's angel food cake. mmmmmmmmm. I love getting family together! My little nephew Charlie is turning ONE YEAR OLD next week. My younger brother that lives in Naples, FL is coming back into town for a second job interview and is coming to the house Friday night, so I may just have to bake up some scalloped potatoes again. Seriously, me, a potato peeler, spices and casserole dishes. Who'd of thunk it? I've now made about 10 dinners that have all turned out good. I may even have to get out my old fake pearls and start vacuuming in heels. That oughta scare the crap out of Jeff, huh?

Speaking of JOB INTERVIEWS....Jeff is now gainfully employed. After his "summer sabbatical" he is working!!!! Whew. It was a long time from March to September. He is one of those SMART people that have SAVINGS set aside for just such an occurance, so he made it through ok financially, but it was getting to the end of the emergency fund and I was getting just a titch nervous that he never would work again. Then I was stressing because he was offered a job and ACCEPTED said job with a great stable company but kept putting them off and trying to get through the interview process with the new company and I was so worried he'd not get both jobs because of it, but it all worked out just perfectly and he even got out of the original job on good terms. He's working with a company he loves and doing what he loves (sales) so can have the flexibility he needs. YEAH for Jeff!!

Here's a shot of the simple knitted bodice, I'm 2 repeats into the lace band. I'm hoping this thing will fit ok. I did the cursed taking a million stitches off the needles and onto waste yarn and trying it on thing, but I still just can't really tell. The picture's pretty boring, but I hope it shapes up as pretty as the others I've seen on the sexyknitters blog.

My little bit o' Maui for the day...




There's a good clearance sale going on at AnneTaintor's site. Click the pic below to get to her stuff. I'm thinking I need more note cards. And how much fun would a grab bag of magnets be?

Why Knitting and watching Dawn of the Dead don't mix right before bed...

Seriously freaky dreams people. Remember the big ol' zombie movie? You had to get rid of their heads to stop them and you couldn't get bitten or you became zombies too? Well, I woke up this morning with my heart pounding after dreaming of having to hit freaky zombies over the head with two sledgehammers that resembled those big ass Lion Brand size 50 knitting needles while they were trying to EAT my thumb. WHY the thumb? I'm sure it was because when the film got more intense, my knitting went even faster. I was a BLUR of additurbos just cranking out the start to my simple knitted bodice. The start is almost a no-brainer....knit to 1 stitch before each marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to next marker.... until it's big enough to join. I'm now 2 rows from getting to try it on and see if I need to make the smaler size or not. I hardly had to think, and could just KNIT KNIT KNIT! My thumb is STILL achy from too much fast knitting. ick. Giant metal knitting needles through zombie heads isn't a pretty picture. ick. Just got another visual from the dream...crawling out of a drainage ditch after impaling 2 zombies. ick. Can't you just see the next big horror flick?

When knitters attack....be afraid...be...very...afraid!

Maui for the day... the mighty surfers!

Thanks Amanda, I should get blogging again!

Whew, has it really almost been a week? cripes! Time flies when you're going senile!

I've been KNITTING honest and truly! Remember those two big ass skeins of hand-dyed cotton I got back at the Studio sale and then just crammed into my stash? One of them is on its way to becoming another Sizzle. It's the multi-colored thing on the left in the pic. What else would I start with the cold days of fall upon us but another sleeveless summer tank? Next to it is the start of the Simple Knitted Bodice that I'm making out of Silky Tweed, this silk, cotton and merino blend that I got on MAJOR closeout sale from webs. I'm doing color #16 and the long-sleeved verson, which is a dusty blue-ish tealish color, not quite as bright as it shows up on the computer. OH MY GOD $4.49/ball. It was my first purchase from webs and I'm a TOTAL believer. FAST shipping, great quality yarn, CHEAP price, it's a keeper. I've also almost run out of yarn on Joey's socks. I decided I don't freaking CARE what Jeff thinks about the colors not being "manly" enough. The kid is SIX years old and still wears what his momma tells him to. Joey loves them and that's enough for me. dammit. Besides, what's not manly about blue, brown and grey for cripes sakes?

What else has been going on, um, nothing. Quite boring around here really.

I did take the kids on an adventure to the side of a busy overpass of I-435 to collect wild sunflowers. If you're gonna do this, make SURE to take a big ol' trash bag along. There are some SERIOUSLY creepy critters crawling around on the damn things. I did have that, but I wish I would've had gardening gloves to boot since some of them had not only creepy crawly things, but also some prickly stems! ALSO don't wear flip flops with no socks as that pretty road-side green isn't short friendly grass, but one to three foot high weeds to wade through and I almost stepped on a SNAKE!!! ICK. Anyway, we got a system going. Mom made a LOT of noise to scare away any other snakes or animals and then I knocked the crap out of the bushy plant, then chopped off some long stems and handed them to Joey, who ran them out to Beth holding the big trash bag. Then we went hopping and stomping and yelling to the next bush. Do the arranging OUTDOORS since you WILL bring home more bees, moths, spiders, ants and other various critters. You will. trust me on this one. After arranged, it went on the table in our screened-in porch to be enjoyed OUTDOORS and much anti-itch cream went onto our legs where we fed the bug population of southern johnson county. Sunflowers really are my favorite flower in the world.

Back when I lived in a mud hovel in the armpit of America (East of Albuquerque in the middle of nowhere) we lived on this dirt/clay/mudpit of a road just past "tire man" and some trailers. I was getting tired of the dirt and spiders and clay and nothingness, so I found some wild flowers growing near the foothills and transplanted them. Most of them died, except for the glorious bushy HUGE wild sunflowers. They took off and became this unbelievably beautiful border all along both sides of the dirt road. My neighbors HATED them and HATED me for it. Such lovely memories I have of the place with its black widow infestation in our crawl space.... I do love New Mexico, just not the little spot where I lived with the ex. I'd go for long walks in the mountains, all over Albuquerque and loved Santa Fe and Taos.



Your Maui for the day shots are of this big old Banyan Tree. The travel books said it's the largest living thing on all the islands. It was larger than a city block and unreal. The roots come down from the tree and end up forming more trunks all connected into this one tree.

Sizzlin along....

Gonna do it. Gonna have to. Sizzle #2. I'm drowning in a sea of cotton yarn and since the sexy knitters knitalong is doing BOTH of my very favoritestest sweaters, I'm gonna do BOTH! MAN I get hit with startitis in the fall! (just turned the heel on Joey's 2nd sock, trying REALLY hard to make myself finish it before starting anything else.) The second knitalong is the simple knitted bodice, can we say YUM-MMM-MEEE? Yes please. I can't afford the tilli thomas silk yarn, so I ordered Silky Tweed in a teal-looking color and paid $4.49 PER BALL at Webs and am so excited I just can't even see straight.

OK, looking back at that last post title, I realize I should have said the TECHNIQUE from knitty was the coolest thing I'd ever seen, um, not my honey sticking his belly and man-boobs out into the size c coconut top. sorry. :) I'm so glad he doesn't show any interest in my "silly knitting computer thing".

Dose of Maui for the day.... Joey on the snorkeling ride catamaran boat and can we say Miss Diva?

Quite possibly the coolest thing I've ever seen

Man, I love it when the new Knitty is up. Seriously. Then I get all aflutter with each month's issue of Magknits. *sigh* Sweaters are calling my name from both mags. Hurry up crochetme, it's time for you to crank out a new issue too dammit!

I want to try the extreme knitting written up in the new knitty. Holy crapamighty that would be unREAL to be able to pull one sock out from the other one while knitting on dpns. It absolutely boggles my mind. I can see unbelievable amounts of chocolate, cursing and mike's hard limeades being consumed in the pursuit of this amazing feat with pointy sticks. Seriously, who figures out things like that?

Today's taste of Maui...."Never fear, Coconut-man is here!"

They sell those damn coconuts in sizes A, B, C, D and DD. This is what happens when you go shopping after happy hour.

Jaywalkin' through the pineapples...

SO, we're back! OH MY GAWD you can't imagine how amazing our trip was! I think I'll just add a few pictures for the rest of my life so you can all see them. Please let me know when you get tired of them, seriously, we came back with over 200 photos. We haven't even gotten the kids' digital camera emptied out or the disposable back from the store yet. We absolutely had a vacation that the children and us adults will be able to look back on whenever times ahead get tough. I'm making a scrapbook for each of the kids, a grandma/pa one, photos for a few aunts & my bros & a few cousins and one big ol' whammy of a scrapbook for us. (not the REAL scrapbooks, don't get all excited people, I found little acid-free archival whatever books you can SLIDE your pics in and little journal lines next to them so I can actually FINISH it.) I have a bad history with beginning to scrapbook...I think I completed all of 4 pages before my head exploded.

ANYWAY, trip in a nutshell, AFTER the first day, it was unfreakingbelievable. The first day did suck a bit. We had a stretch limo ride to the airport, wonderful flights, including the big one from Dallas to Maui where we were treated like KINGS and Joey got to wear the captain's hat the entire trip, got one of the last minivans available as the car rental agency totally overbooked everything, then sat in said minivan for SEVEN HOURS trying to get through the shut down roads to our hotels. Rental cars were overheating right and left, we were SO SO SO lucky to have an almost new rental and one that the kids could spread out in and sleep a bit. There was a forest fire at the TOP of the mountain far, far away from the highway, but they weren't letting anyone through. By the time we finally got through (100 cars every 30 minutes moved about 1/2 mile), the fire was about, oh, 15 FREAKING FEET from our van. I was a bit nervous, developed 3 big ol' zits including one that sat right in the middle of my chin and we named him Bubba, but Jeff said he could see the water, if we needed to, we'd grab the kids and run down the hill. nice. We made it to the hotel at midnight Maui time, we'd been awake for about 27 hours and were quite loopy. They then closed the roads for another half day, so we were VERY lucky to get through. After that, it was paradise!

Tiny knitting note-- I finished one Jaywalker sock which fits and one and a half socks for Joey. Beth's will be cast on soon. I only knitted on the plane and in the minivan for the 7 hours. I did NO knitting the rest of the week. It felt weird, but I guess I needed a vacation from that as well.

Best vacation of my life! Here's a few highlights.

'Twas the night before Maui

'Twas the night before Maui, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even the dog Miles;

The suitcases were set by the front door with care,
In the hopes that the limo soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of seashells danced in their heads;

And Jeff in his undies and I in my p.j.,
Had just gone to bed after a long packing day,
When down on the foyer there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

The bag full of knitting projects had blown,
Across the hallway the items had flown.
Oh Koigu, Oh Schaefer, Oh Cascade 220,
Oh addi-turbos, Oh Denise Interchangeables, there were so many!
After many decisions and much soul searching,
Lornas Laces sock yarn is only with what I'll be working.

As I stumble to bed and turn out the light,
I send a thought to my blog friends...

Happy Knitting to All and to All a Good Night!


Peace out ya'all, we're outta here. Be back in a week! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Thank you thank you to the Childrens Wish Foundation for sending our family! My son Joey has Cystic Fibrosis (CF) and is doing well. We're taking a TON of medicine (inhaled aerosol, liquid, gel, capsules, you name it, we got it) as well as a nebulizer and a big ol' air therapy vest on board, and have 2 metal detectors packed in the big checked bag. Can't you just imagine how much fun we'll have with the screeners? Good thing the kid is cute! We also have the challenge of taking a refrigerated antibiotic on board. I'm sure the gel ice-packs are a no-go, so dad suggested we just take it in an insulated bag and ask the flight attendants for ice on each plane.

We'll take an unbelievable amount of pictures, I've just cleared out my digital camera of 400 (FOUR HUNDRED can you believe it???) pictures sitting in there, so it's ready to go. Jeff's fixed his video camera and has it packed and the kids have disposable cameras, so we'll get to see their version of the holiday as well. I'm so flippin excited it's unreal. (oh, one correction on the Lorna's Laces pic I took yesterday. Apparently the blue/brown yarn was "too girly" and has been replaced by a horridly boring grey and black opal hand-painted yarn for Joey.)

Projects packed: Lorna's Laces sock yarn, 2 sets of sz 2 dpns and one ball of opal in the colorway "blah". That's it. I wonder if there's a yarn shop in old town Laihaina? hmmmmmm

a little packing for the trip

4 skeins of Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock, Pioneer (greys & blues & browns) will become socks for Joey, Mixed Berries will become socks for Elizabeth and 2 skiens of Flames for me with any leftover to make a pair of matching anklets for Elizabeth! I can only get along with this "looking like my mom is cool" stuff for a few more years if I'm lucky, so I'm milking it! (right now we have matching shrugs and a set of matching dresses, I figure 9 1/2 yrs old, I'm down to socks before total disassociation sets in)

I was in Olathe returning the sundresses I'd bought before my amazing trip to the swimsuit shop. The 2 dresses I'd gotten before were from the dress barn (nothing against them, they've got very cute stuff) BUT one really did resemble a couch from the 70's and the other looked like the dresses Elaine always wore in the 80's on Seinfeld, you know the long drapey ones that had no definition, just kind of like an 80's version of the mu-mu with buttons all down the front? And did I say they went almost to my ankle? OK, it's hard to find sexy sundresses in the fall! ANYWAY, back to the story...I was in the neighborhood of Knit Wits yesterday (just east of I-35 on 151st Street) and walked up to the door before I remembered it was MONDAY!!! She's closed on Sundays and Mondays since this is a small owner-run shop. The goddesses of yarn were smiling down upon me since Jan was in the shop doing some inventory work! She opened up the door and invited me right on in. I thought it was so sweet of her! I said, I can come back another time, I know you're not open, but she said "nonsense" and sent me on in. (the fact that I'm a total addict and OUT OF CONTROL in her shop I'm sure didn't have anything to do with why she let me in!) I got the sock yarn above and wandered back to her sale bins. OH OH OH people, she's got 6 BIG ASS BOXES of sale yarns that are all $3/skein. AND A LOT OF IT and good brands! I got enough yarn to make Beth and I each a sweater and am going BACK after I get back from our trip. She's got a small shop and has the best sale yarn in the world to make room for her stuff. Go check it out and please say you read about it on Christine's blog to make up for me always being a pain in the butt in her shop!

Seriously, $3/skein of all kinds of stuff, and a lot of it she's got entire bags of so you can make some nice projects! Go, spend, be merry!

YES I already have enough opal sockyarn to outfit my entire family, but I thought I'd gradually get the kids on board with softer socks as their first official socks from mom. Don't have any idea of what patterns I'm using, but I'm going to try to find something pretty generic and easy to do, toe up? top down? I think I'll try to wind them into 2 equal balls and then do toe up to get the most out of the yarn. That'll take care of my projects for the trip out & back. I've got almost all of one jaywalker sock done and hope to finish the other on the trip as well.

Teresa, you look gorgeous and so happy on your Hawaii pics! SO glad you & your hubby had a good time!! Countdown is now THREE DAYS and, um, NO itinerary or info on our trip yet. Not worried, nope, not me. I'm getting on that plane one way or another. I know the hotel is booked and that's good enough for me. Nope, don't know the rental car company we're supposed to use, but still NOT worried. I'm not going to call the foundation again until tomorrow and if I still don't have any info, they'll just have to give me as much info over the phone as they can or email it and get over it. Nope, not worried. School and work is all arranged for this big trip, children are beyond excited, I'm a titch excited too. NOT going to have it all fall through at the last minute. Not gonna happen. I have a swimsuit that LOOKS GOOD on me and new knitting projects to start DAMMIT!

An accomplishment filled day.

Well, yesterday was just a day where I got things DONE.

#1. Finished tunisian crocheted bikini top & bottoms, decided it was assinine to MAKE your own bikini when you don't have one of those model bodies that look GOOD in a few pieces of string and have searched for YEARS for a suit to wear to mask and mold my body just so. I'm wearing it ANYWAY, because it is my #27 (or was it #29?) list of things I want to do before I die. (still don't have the list done, just working on numbers here and there.) It is a very cute suit and I highly recommend the pattern, it's just going to have to be donated to one of my skinny minny Asian girlfriends when the trip is over.

#2. Found a swimsuit that FITS me and LOOKS GOOD and I DIDN'T SHED ONE TEAR while trying on suits. This is a major accomplishment for me, so just humor me here. I have the most terrible time finding suits for my body and of course have those trauma issues almost every woman has at swimsuit shopping time, so normally it's a LONG ASS day of going from store to store, and the day usually ends with no suits purchased and much chocolate consumed. I have the one trusty tanky-kinda-top that covers the belly and bottoms that barely cover the butt as long as I don't move too quickly or lean to one side. I have had that trusty suit from Target for at least 4 years now. I've shopped at least 2 times a year since buying that suit and have yet to find one. I went to Target AGAIN and realized they only have the suit parts with the XXL tops and XS bottoms, um, not quite what I was looking for. No suits left in any store since everyone's stocking fall items.

Then I went to one of those specialty swimsuit shops in Town Center (not the normal swimsuit shops with surfer barbie dolls working in them since that just adds to the humiliation and generally pisses me off. I went to the old-lady-cruise and young-rich-2nd-wife kind of store.) I went to the counter, swallowed my pride and said "Please help me. I've got no boobs, a big butt and thunder thighs and I'm going to Maui in ONE WEEK and will be taking pictures we'll be looking at for a lifetime. PLEASE HELP ME." I then went to the dressing room, tried on over 40 suits she brought me (swear to God, I counted 42) and then FOUND ONE that WORKED and LOOKS GOOD!!! AND a cute cover up/sarong thing that goes with the suit without being too matchy. THEN she pulled out a cute cover-up/dress that makes me look CURVY and THIN!!! It was about the only thing in the store NOT on sale, at $75 for a terry-cloth-kinda material short dress. But it MADE ME LOOK SKINNY!!! Do I even have to type that I bought it? I cannot see spending $75 on a freaking coverup, but I think I'd eat catfood and toast for a month if I had to, or at least not buy any more yarn for a month, to make the sacrifice. IT MADE ME LOOK SKINNY DAMMIT!!!

#3. Finished CLEO, but no pictures taken yet.

#4. Decided to knit something for SOMEONE ELSE since I've been Madame Selfishista the last few months. I've got about half a prayer shawl done and am enjoying thinking positive healing thoughts while I'm knitting away.

#5. Washed my sizzle sweater and it's laying out drying. Decided it's going to Maui as the "dinner out" outfit. All weaved-in ends stayed woven in, mattress seamed sides stayed together, I'm quite pleased with myself.

#6. Got ahold of someone at the foundation sending us on this trip in SIX DAYS and conveyed my teensy weensy bit of stress in not having any documentation or paperwork what-so-ever in a pleasant, friendly manner. We're supposed to have things UPS-ed out on Monday, for us to receive on Tuesday, then we leave on FRIDAY morning, but still the company supposed to pick us up & take us to the airport is, um, NOT BOOKED YET, but apparently this is not stressful to anyone at the foundation, so it must just be me. I even told the lady very nicely, "you know, if I could just get our paperwork, I promise to never call again!"

#7. Did not ram my blazer through the back end of the lady driving the car ahead of me, 8 miles UNDER the speed limit, when I had to get back home to pick up the kids from school and she kept just slowing down WAYYYYYY before the streetlights JUST IN CASE they might turn yellow or red, which THEY DID because we were going so FREAKING SLOW even before she slowed down MORE and there was one lane due to road construction. Did I mention she had TWO Phill Kline for Attorney General bumper stickers on the back end of her car? DID I????? MAN that was hard for me.

Because you just can't milk a finished object too much...

The sizzle sweater after its debut to Garrozo's restaurant last night with Jeff & mom & dad for their 40th wedding anniversary dinner. After we got home we enjoyed the new screened-in porch Jeff built with a few beers.

Note the matching shoes please. I'm quite proud of them. In case I haven't mentioned it 14 times yet, I love this sweater!

Poor pluto. Doesn't get to be a planet any more. So sad.

I'm starting to stress a bit on our big trip that's in exactly 8 days. No paperwork has gotten here yet. Every time I call the foundation, our wish coordinator is all "oh. yeah. well. see....." apparently there's a bunch of kids getting sent off at the last minute without all their stuff coordinated yet. They have to get them done first, and can then get around to my family. yeah. Well, in about 2 more days, WE'RE gonna be one of those last-minute families being sent off without anything in place. cripes almighty. I'm TRYING to be patient since this is a CHARITY and it's free. I can't complain, but I can SERIOUSLY stress out, can't I? I called yesterday again and am trying as hard as I can not to call today, but will probably call just to check in. I'm trying to be understanding and taking the "hey, I know you have a lot going on right now..." tack but it's hard to keep the desperate scream of "WILL YOU GET THIS SHXT ORGANIZED BEFORE I RUPTURE MY BRAIN" come through my voice.

I even went to a power yoga class this morning to help with the getting in shape and also to calm my brain. Holy crap, I always was under the impression that yoga was a bunch of gentle stretches. wow. I think I broke my entire body.

Queen of the Creepy Critters

So, last night on the phone my best friend Jildo pointed out that my blog has gotten quite "knitterly" lately. No good freak-outs, no rants, nothing but yarn and knitting stories. So very sad.

I was thinking on that and you know, life just is too happy lately. I'm quite boring now. I walk my children to school in the morning while drinking my first diet coke of the day *aaaaaahhhhhh*, work a bit, do some household chores, exercise, take a knitting break, work more, then walk back up to school and bring the kids home again. I've turned into quite the June Cleaver (minus the vacuuming in heels & pearls). My children even took flowers grown by ME to their teachers on the first day. sickening, isn't it?

Last night I took an evening bike ride to the library and picked out some new books on Maui and on knitting and was meandering on home down the long hill, enjoying life and thinking, what could I possibly blog about.....when it hit me. No, not an idea hit me, no, that wasn't it. IT hit me.

OK, so not this actual bug, no, he did not survive for a picture. I admit I stole this image of a KS cidada this morning off the internet.

Picture it if you will....riding along, swooshing down a long hill on a sidewalk in the dusky evening. Cicada's making their "wwhhhheeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee" and the breeze feels so nice against my face. I've got a backpack loaded with books, a BIG new bicycle I'm riding on that I have to be VERY careful as I stop or I fall over (I'm so not graceful it's pathetic) and this THING hits me in the chest between my shoulder and my neck. I curse, swerve, and try to knock the thing off me since it's decided it wants to STAY and not just hit and run like the average bug attacking a cyclist. Instead of brushing the monster (which is about 2 inches long plus wings) OFF my shirt, I brush it INTO MY TANK TOP. At this moment, I flip the bike over and roll and this thing is doing its screamm eeeeeEEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeee and I'm doing my scream "OH MOTHERFUXXER HOLY SHXT...." (use your imagination, I think I even created a few new words in there. I wasn't wearing a normal shirt that you could just pull out or up and get the bug out, nope. I was wearing a nice little tank top with the shelf bra. This worked to HOLD the bugger IN my chest WITH me. I finally succeeded in getting the bug out, my shirt back on (I practically ripped the entire thing off me in the process.) and my backpack retrieved (somehow was flung into the middle of the street and almost got run over), and then I just laid there on the sidewalk trying to catch my breath while shaking off those BIG heebie jeebies, the ones that make you look like you're having convulsions.

This poor woman was walking her little yip-yip dog across the street. The dog was growling at me and she was looking at me like I was a raving psycho, not sure if she should come and help me out or not. I waved and said "it's ok, it was just a bug." She looked at me like I was some freak on a big city street who just peed on myself and was fighting imaginary creatures. Crazy people kind of stick out here in good ol' Overland Park, KS.

WHYYYYYYY do these creatures find ME? What did I do to offend the great bug goddess? Ok, so I've squished a few spiders in my day. I did let that one damn spider that Jeff named Gus live (even though I swear it must have been Guselda since now I've squashed at least 5 in the house that bear a strange resemblence to the original critter.)

More knitting content later. I pulled out the jaywalker sock #1 and started the slip stitches on the heel while working in bed last night.

Damn, I've still got the chills just thinking of that bug last night. I took the LONGEST hot shower I've ever had in my life last night. I can't believe I didn't get hurt on the bike flip. I landed on the grass and don't think I even touched the ground, I was jumping around like a freak trying to get rid of that damn bug.

I didn't share this adventure with Jeff because just the other day he saw me squash a spider and told me that bugs and spiders don't bother him because he is kind to them. He either lets them live in the house wherever they want (not anymore) or gently scoops them up and drops them outside. He said for every bug I squish, another is going to come and make my life hell. It's gonna be a long long life of bugs I'm afraid. Bug kharma. cripes almighty.

ICK. See, now you won't mind my boring knitting content any more, will ya?

How hot is it in KC?

Well, let's just say it's sizzle'in! A real-live FFO! (finished freakin' object) My apologies for more "artsy" pictures. I really did find the timer for my camera, I just can't make it GO on! cripes. AND I'm wearing a putrid orange skirt with the dark red sweater, not showing it off to it's full advantage, but I'm lazy and don't care. ANYWAY, here's what I got! I've still got to stitch the neckline together and sew in 3 more ends, but it's DONE! and I LOVE IT!!! I wish I wouldn't have been quite so modest in my neckline, I think I'll make one more and go lower like the designer did. GOD I love Wendy's patterns! She needs to design MORE MORE MORE sweaters just to make me happy. Is that too much to ask? I finally got smart and did a GOOD JOB of the mattress stitch, taking my time and using pearl cotton thread instead of the big cotton yarn. For those of you cross stitchers out there, I used DMC 498, or as I will always think of it, Christmas Red. It is my best bit of seaming to date. (ok the other seams in the past were really REALLY crappy, but STILL this one looks GOOD!)

That last one is the bikini without the side straps done yet and a buttload of yarn ends to weave in. I am LOVING the tunisian crochet. Once you get used to it, you just crank right along. I'm gonna finish the side straps and then start in on the bottom. It's weird. If I weren't going on this big ol' trip, there's no way in heaven I'd ever spend time and effort knitting or crocheting a bikini, let alone wearing one. I just think it's one of those things I want to be able to say I did. It'll go on "the list". You know that life list that's floating around blogland, where you type in bold the things you've done, like dancing in the rain (done it), buying the whole bar a drink (not on your life, I'm a cheap lush), and stuff like that? I think I need my very own list of cool things to do before I leave this earth, and I think wearing your own hand-created swimsuit on a beach should be number 27.